Children are the future – unless we need to do something important…
Yes, the headline is meant exactly like that and unfortunately this is often the truth!
My son is three years old and he is in daycare since he was 14 months old.
Has this been my choice?
Yes and no.
To afford our life we had no other option and yes, we could have moved to a village where life is cheaper and reduce the hours at daycare but then we would stop our careers. It is a balance of what we want for our child and our life and our job.
Last week the kindergarten has been closed for a day and we knew this for a while to arrange this day differently. Planning Always works fine for us.
But last week he started on exactly that day to have fever and a starting cough.
What do working parents now?
It has not been a question at all that he stays at home and that I am with him (simply because it’s easier in my job). A couple of days later I went with him to the paediatrician because he was still not as fine as we hoped for after the weekend. No more fever but not as active and happy as we know him. He still barely ate and that was very unusual for him.
The eye opener for this post happened there, at his paediatrician.
He fully checked him, asked what happened up to that day and then recommended how to move forward.
The recommendation was as follows:
“Your son has a cold, keep an eye on his ears and his throat because it’s slightly inflamed, it may fade as it seems as if he went already through the worst part but it may worsen as well and then please come back.
For the cough he gets a medication for the night so be sleeps well and recovers, throughout the day please give him lots of tea and honey, fluids are important and not too much action.”
OK, sounded like a plan and I was guessing the same before (mother’s instinct?). Before I left I just asked the following question out of curiosity: “When will he be allowed to go back to the kindergarten?”
Answer: “As he’s free of fever for two days already you can bring him tomorrow, if you have the possibity to keep him at home for another one to two day even better.”
I am in the lucky position to be able to keep him at home and did that until he was entirely fine (which turned out not to be after 1 to 2 but after 4 days at home). But what about parents who are not able to do that?
What about all the people out there who are frightened of losing their job if they stay at home, who are paid per hour and need each cent to afford the minimum standard of living, who are single parents, who have nobody around like grandparents, … there will be many scenarios which happen daily and which cause children to be in their daycare even though not fully recovered and healthy.
Imagine you are this child, you don’t feel well and your safest place is the lap of your mom or dad, resting your head on their chest listening to their heartbeat, your sweetest lullaby, and feeling simply a bit better because of the warmth and smell and love you know since you are alive. This is your place to fully relax and let go and surrender. But what happens is that instead you need to visit a place you know very well but it’s loud and children are asking if you want to play, your nose runs but nobody realizes instantly, you don’t feel fine but you try to smile throughout the day.
You are just three years old, this is not what you should learn, how to pretend to feel good, you should be where you indeed would feel as good as you can while being still a bit ill.
How do you feel now?
If I see how often my son comes to snuggle for no visible reason when he’s not fully fine I just can imagine how he would feel all alone in the kindergarten on a day like that. He starts to cry for things which normally don’t bother him, I know he would not cry there.
I know that he would not be “all alone” but it’s like standing in a crowd and feeling like the lonliest person on earth.
My heart truly aches if I think what he would need to go through and then I wonder if it would be worth it? As written, some cannot choose and I appreciate it BUT, and there is a really HUGE but to this whole topic.
It is us to raise awareness and speak up.
There are many parents out there where one parent stays at home and the most interesting part now is the following. Very often the parent’s who could not afford it stay with their children until they are recovered while the ones who could do so simply prefer to be somewhere else…brunching with friends, going to the gym, the long scheduled hair dresser appointment,….
I just want to ask all of you – please be responsible, take care of this little soul, children can feel abandoned quickly and in such cases they are even totally right to feel so. What matters most is not the happy employer or the well done hair, what matters most is that our children are as well as they deserve to be.
We have chosen to be parents, care-takers (maybe the better word here) – it is our duty to be there when they need us most!
We don’t want to raise a generation of people who don’t know that it means to be taken care of and who think it’s normal to be at work not feeling well. A generation of pretenders, is this what we want? Surely not, at least not for me.
We are the basis they build up their life on. Don’t let this be shattered to pieces – our health is the most important – all we are is connected to how we feel.
If you agree please be so kind and share, comment, spread this message – we are responsible for the future and we need to take ownership here!
It’s a lifestyle I can’t Escape, even if my inner lazy self would love too, once in a while.
I think I’m totally lost (some would say), lost in the sense of being unable to live without Yoga.
This journey started when I was lost and down to earth.
I was literally down on my knees because I treated myself not in the way I should have.
I guess everybody reaches a time in his / her life where you are forced to change something; something profoundly.
For me this change happened in 2011 and it was just the starting point. I wasn’t sure if my way would bring me up on my feet again or if I had to seek professional help one day.
Books and Yoga was my way and on top a single vacation which was needed more than I was aware when I planned it.
The adventure of my vacation is also on the blog:
Ever since the decision to change my life the term Yoga is a present part of my life. Some days more and some days less, like waves. On days which are exhausting the waves are stronger and the urge to dive into my yoga is more present than on peaceful days.
Yoga has been my therapy. No, yoga is my therapy!
My drug, my realm, my happy place, my hideaway…it is bigger than visible for outsiders because so much takes place inside of me.
I may not be a typical yogi which raises the question what a typical yogi is.
This picture of how a yogi should be is changing fortunately because a yoga lifestyle is as individual as human mankind is. Nothing is typical, there are no rules on what need to be fulfilled, the only important point is: be authentic and live in a way you are feeling comfortable with!
Every yogi out there is following an individual path and none is better than the other. To learn not to judge others is a big lesson because we all tend to judge others.
How can she call herself yogi if she never stepped into a yoga studio?
How can she write about Yoga without being able to do a handstand?
How can she tell others she’s leading a yoga lifestyle if she is not rolling out her mat daily?
I can and I do because of all of this.
Who is able to tell you who you are, if not you yourself?
The first person being sure about how your life is going along, what path you are on, how you feel about certain topics, how happy you are is: YOU YOURSELF!
One of the biggest lessons in life for me has been that nobody except of me can tell me how I feel or who I am or what I need. I am in charge of it and I decide what I need and what I don’t need. I decide what I want and what I don’t want.
I tell you who I am and nobody else is telling me who they think I am!
Trust your journey and walk your path. This is the best advice I have to give simply because this is what I do. I may be wrong on my way but that’s fine, only if you walk in the wrong direction once in a while you will be able to readjust and turn things upside down to find your right direction.
You are worth to live in a way you want and if this includes yoga, religion, music, literature, any interest you have to feel better, then DO IT!
My way is the yoga way and this includes many side ways as well and at the end of the day my theme is “Yogain’t a choice any more” because it lives within me. Yours may be “Vegain’t a choice any more”, “Shambalain’t a choice any more” or whatever you choose / have Chosen for your life to have a profound impact-
A whole new year lays ahead of us and I’m excited.
Excited and positive, anxious and scared.
Life is unpredictable which makes it interesting but scary at the same.
As a perfectionist you are going to hate it not to know what comes next but the truth is, we will never know what comes next. Neither planning nor wishing will bring us to the point that a life is going as smoothly as we would like.
I just need to look around our home and since we have a child it looks sometimes as if a bomb of Lego and toy animals exploded.
The wonderful part of these “explosions” is that there is life! I admit that I would sometimes which for this old home where you don’t have to clean 24/7 without an end in sight, the times where I just sat down on the couch with a book because nothing else needed to be done. Nowadays there is no “nothing else needs to be done”. This wishing back the old days are only short moments because reality quickly sets in and I’m so grateful for this reality.
Life is far far far away from perfect and this imperfection is so lovely. We are the happiest when we three are together (my son, my husband and I) because indeed, that’s life, that’s reality, that’s all to wish for.
The perfectionist in me is almost crying because I have no idea how this year will go along but what I know is that we can manage all as long as we are a family and love each other like we do.
Is it wisdom that comes with age? I don’t know. Is it what you learn through motherhood? Maybe.
I cannot tell you when exactly this thinking was setting in for me-The more I think about life and what matters most the more I realize that there are profound things like love, trust, emotions, feeling grounded, mindfulness, thankfulness for what is, appreciation of what we have. These are what matters most.
The NOW of our life.
Tomorrow can be anything but if we manage to be happy now we reached a lot!
I’m not a spiritual teacher nor a motivation guide but the more I read and the more I do some research the more I see that many seem to seek happiness and fulfillment.
Our life has far too many choices to reach this stage and we get lost. We lose focus due to the amount of possibilities we have.
Nobody can have it all! I think this is the first and most important step towards an inner satisfaction of what is.
We need to stop ourselves along the way, take a step back, and start to sort. What are our personal priorities, what makes us really happy.
Social media are great, if used properly, and at the same time our personal nightmare, if used as a comparator (in both directions).
As long as we are realistic enough to know that we never ever see the whole picture on social media the usage may be utterly inspiring, we can learn lots and get input. There are some influencers out there who are really showing lots, their raw authentic self, but careful, for the majority we will never grasp the full picture and this is completely OK. We ourselves would also not expose our most vulnerable moments or dark sides to strangers. Just be sure that everyone has these sides (just not visible). The trick is to get inspired by the exposed good stories but don’t feel less worth because of our own failures.
The same goes for news – I barely read them nowadays because I feel more and more depressed, it seems as if there is no peace on earth at all but that’s wrong. Nobody will write a headline about a country at peace. We are responsible to filter all of this for ourselves because no news agency and no influencer and no person besides you is able to see what you need or what you can take at this moment.
You are the first responsibility for yourself and afterwards you decide what you watch, listen to, hear, read, where you step in, help, work, etc. This sounds selfish but it isn’t. Only if you feel at ease with yourself you will be capable of taking the rest.
My husband’s country is in a war state since we met. It won’t help if we start to site here each day and cry and complain and talk about how blessed we are to live here and what an injustice it is that his family is there and and and – it simply won’t help! We need to make sure that we are fine, we are parents, we have a responsibility. And when we are fine we can work, we can try to support, we can be the realistic part on the outside as we are not within, we can be the uplifting part when things go wrong again and try to soothe, we can only give our best in these moments. It is hard but that’s life – unfortunately – we cannot change the world but we can change our approach to our “small” circle in this world and try to be good examples. If everyone would be the best version of him or herself we would make a step in the right direction.
And at teh end of the day my biggest mantra for this year will be nobody is perfect and new ways are always possible – these sentences from a perfectionist are a big step.
My lessons learned from the past years. They may be an inspiration or just a small hint in which direction to think.
Being grateful for what we have and never taking anything for granted is one of the biggest epiphanies ever.
Living in a country without knowing war is not my achievement, it was simply luck of being born here at that time. Thanks!
Having met my husband was such a coincidence, this could never have been planned. Thanks!
Having a really full fridge is a blessing. Thanks!
You could go on like this but you know what, waking up each morning, feeling my heart beating should be reasonenough to be grateful for this life.
A whole new year…lays in front of us.
Let’s focus on the good.
Let’s try to ease the pain.
Let’s help where we can.
Let’s do what we can to make this a better place for all of us.
…and as always we are asking the same old questions. What do you wish for? Is there anything I can buy? Which gifts would be on your wish list?
Isn’t it ridiculous in a way? We beg to give something even though we had a whole year of making our loved ones happy.
What I realize more each year is why my parents tell us since so long that they have all they need. It is indeed true that the time spend together and the memories we make throughout the years are more than we could ever wish for.
Time is the greatest gift. Time well spend with your family.
Even though we know this now we surely will run on last minute and get things wrapped up, an empty floor around the christmas tree is not much appealing, but deep within us we know that nobody will be disappointed when we unwrap the little presents because all we need is already there.
I wish you a merry christmas and lots of time to be spend with your loved ones.
One gift for myself is that I want to revive my page – it seems as if a lifetime passed since I posted the last time.