Do you know these families who have a certain area around their home for the first years after a child was born?
"Aurora needs her nap time in her bed."
"Lucas is not sleeping anywhere else."
Or worse, the parents who need the whole children equipment from bottle warmer to rocking chair, the ones who are not able to improvise and stick to their patterns.
We are not like that, neither our child nor we.
We love to travel and the easiest for me ist to travel by car.
You throw all you need inside and off we go.
We spent already lots of time in the car so it's a bit like a second home.
If you don't expect it you'll find a diaper (often when you indeed need it) or jacket which we thought lost.
Yes, it's a bit messy and I admit that we are at the end of October and we still have the beach umbrella in the back and Tuscan sand on the floor, that's us and I love it!
The best of these messy details is that they don't matter, what matters is that we have a big radius around home already and that we know we can go in whatever direction and we are happy.
A travelling toddler who sleeps everywhere is worth the mess.
His seat is based on cookie crumbs and our family is based everywhere.
He sleeps apparently everywhere when he is tired. What he needs is the reassurance that we are around and that he is safe with us.
Everything else doesn't matter, it can be loud or quiet, sunny or dark, crowded or peaceful, when he is tired he grabs our hand or hugs us tight and off to the land of toddlerdreams.
But what about sleeping times and nap times?
We don't have them.
And before someone starts to argue how important steadiness is…we love that we don't have them!
He is 18 months old, he sleeps when he's tired, he eats when he's hungry and we give him the freedom to grow without a strict schedule as much as we can.
Latest with 6 years when he starts school this life is over as he cannot go to school when he likes or stays in bed longer in the morning when he's supposed to be in his class.
What are 6 years compared to a lifetime?
We should cherish these first six years where our kids are mainly free little birds.
The kindergarten (Kita) for kids under three started for us in September and he's doing it great.
He has a nap time there and he's actually napping and he eats when they all eat.
Children are able to adapt quickly and they know which rules apply where so why should we limit his freedom at home?
We are now on our way to my parents and he sleeps in his car seat next to me while I'm writing and my husband drives, this is our on the road life, one glance at it.
Most people tend to make life more complicated than it is. What is really important, especially with children?
Now! Now is all we should focus on. Our children could be our teacher because they know how it works by heart.
BE HERE NOW (look at your child and soak in the love).
At the end of the day WE are important, the core of our beings.
Our travelling toddler is happy, and so are we ♥️ that's the essence of life, isn't it?
Are there still real blogs or is everyone sponsored?
I would lie if I wouldn’t think about sponsored blog posts, it’s nice if you get something for your work, isn’t it?
I mean, honestly, I write because I love to write and I publish my writing because?
Because I would love to start discussions, receive some feedback, connect with others BUT this won’t happen. It’s not happening because this tiny blog here is my hobby.
I’m not professional when it comes to setting up a blog because I have no time for it – I’m a mom, a full-time worker, a wife, a woman, I cannot be as professional as someone who works in that area.
But what I am, and this is something I can ensure, I am real.
So what? I am happy and thankful for the few readers I have and my eyes light up whenever I receive a comment on one of my posts because it’s something special.
I may not be perfect but who is?
What I wonder about indeed is this whole influencer story. What means influencer? I try to influence my readers, followers, friends, family, correct?
Do I want to influence or rather be someone who is showing reality?
This feeling that everyone recently is sooooooo excited and soooooooo in love with each and every new item is something I don’t believe.
Many influencers are sitting in their stylish clean designer house, they drive the newest car and have the happiest marriage, their kids are little dressed up mannequins and life is perfect. That’s what they show us.
But is that what we want to see? Really?
Where are the messy moms who barely are able to shower once per day because either a cranky kid is hanging on her leg or she is just too tired in the evening after a day full of work, grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, kids and who prefer to spend an hour sitting on the floor building wooden castles instead of blow drying their hair for the perfect look?
Where are the wives with not so perfect marriages, the women who would love to wipe a shiny floor again for a YouTube video but who struggle to walk through the house without stepping on toys.
Where are all of you?
Don’t tell me I’m the only one with a messy life, the only one who dreams of a spa weekend (or better week) but who would miss her kids and her husband too much to leave them behind?
I think I knocked myself latest with this post out of the influencer circle unless there is someone out there who wants an authentic opinion.
I like that yogurt because I really like it or I don’t like the yogurt because it sucks. I can explain both scenarios, don’t worry, but I would not tell you it’s so delicious that I recommend it to everyone out there. Maybe you want a messy mom, then this here is my application.
A blog with a handful of real readers, a twitter account that is linked to everything I post but where I have no idea if someone indeed read something there, an Instagram account which I absolutely love and which has quite a decent number of followers but the majority of them is either sleeping 24/7 or lost their phones as interaction is rarely, ah, and my Facebook account, I love facebook but also there the interaction mainly takes place in secret mommy groups instead of public on my profile.
I can recommend everything I like and I indeed do and maybe even be able to influence, but I cannot sell a fridge to a penguin and I don’t want to do that either.
Are you real or are you sponsored?
Today is a gift
We have so so so many reasons to be excited about today.
Far too often we forget about them and start to complain and to feel bad about today. Don’t let this happen.
Start to count your blessings and realize why you should love your life just now, just today:
- Today you are healthy
Health is one of the biggest gifts! Many of us are so used to being healthy that we forget how good it really is. Only when we are sick we start to appreciate the blessing of being healthy. Don't wait to be sick but be thankful now that you are healthy.
- Today there is someone who loves you
Just today, if there is somebody in your life who loves you, you are rich, you have something many people long for. It is terrible to be lonely and you have something so precious.
- Today do love
Don't be loved only, no, do love! You can love and give love as well and it feels wonderful.
- Today you have something to eat
And most probably you have not only something to eat but decent food you like. Remember that many people have nothing or not something they can choose but only a bit what keeps them alive. We can eat several times per day whereas others struggle to eat once a day.
- Today you live in peace
There are far too many areas with war on this planet, people who have to leave their homes behind to be safe, who have lost family members, who have an uncertain future ahead. Be grateful for the peace!
- Today you have time
Time to read, time to do what you like, time just for yourself even if it's five minutes. There are persons out there with no time left to enjoy life, some need to work 24/7 to feed their families, some need to be alerted every second to avoid dangerous situations, we are lucky to live in such a civilized way that we can enjoy our time.
- Today you have clean air to breathe and clean water to drink
You are not breathing through a mask and can drink unfiltered water just from the tap? Many people in the world cannot even imagine that this is possible. Air to breathe and water to drink are very rare in some areas on this planet.
- Today you are safe
This one is tricky as nowadays we cannot be safe anywhere but still we are safe when we compare our life to the life of many others. We visit places without worrying too much and that’s something to be thankful for.
- Today you can give
Are you giving? If not try it, it feels so good to give because you receive happiness. Give your neighbor a piece of your cake and you made two persons happy, the neighbor and yourself. Give a smile to a stranger and you receive a smile back. Giving is wonderful!
- Today you woke up and it is a new day
NOW, that is where we are. Don't worry about the past as it's gone. Now is a new day and you can start freshly into a new day.
Meditation Myths – What You Should not Believe
I always try to explain why I would like to be able to meditate instead of just doing it.
As a mom the main reason is always: Lack of time!
Good excuse, isn’t it?
But honestly, it’s not the lack of time, it’s the weakness of willpower.
Sad but true, we find excuses instead of stepping in.
If I want something I surely will find the time.
So just a couple of days ago I decided that I want to change this and start a meditation routine, MY meditation routine.
Give it a few minutes per day! This is a start and everyone can find these five minutes!
But first, while thinking about this topic, I stepped over so many descriptions what meditation is and what it isn’t that I thought I need to write.
Write about what you please SHOULD NOT believe as it may ruin your attempts to find your own way of meditation.
Nothing fits into a certain structure, especially not a meditation.
Most of the people have no idea at all what meditation is.
They see it as an unknown factor and there the myth building starts.
- Meditation is worshiping or praying – Noooooooo, it can be but it’s NOT a MUST!
- Meditation is a religious act – Nope, again, it can be but it doesn’t have to be connected to any religion.
- Meditation is nonsense – for people who are not willing to go deeper than the visible surface it’s a common excuse not to try it.
- Meditation is hypnosis – no as this is a complete different field.
- Meditation is relaxation – although you may feel relaxed after a meditation it’s not relaxation but a way towards relaxation.
- Meditation is only for spiritual persons – another no because meditation is for everyone.
- Meditation is neglecting reality – that’s so wrong, it’s a way of bringing reality up instead of neglecting it.
- Meditation is for the weird – Yes, I love to be called weird because normal (whatever that is) is too boring and life is too short not to be weird from time to time 😉
- Meditation is Magic and Mystical – I love the thought and even if it’s not considered magical – if that’s your approach to give it a try I would say YES, purely Magic!
So we have a list of what meditation is NOT but what is it then?
This is the question which has 1001 answers because meditation has a million facets and faces. From my point of view it is something completely unique. Unique as the person itself.
If one person is meditating while walking through nature another one needs a special place and ritual to be able to meditate.
Some are chanting mantras and some need complete silence around them.
Some are able to quiet their mind and some are not but both are meditating.
An indeed wonderful description is the following from Deepak Chopra:
“Meditation is not a way of making your mind quiet, It’s a way of entering into the quiet that’s already there.”
It is there!
The good news are that we all have it in us! We all have this quiet place somewhere inside of us, this realm for the soul and mind. The way towards it is what let’s us struggle and feel incomplete, stressed and not at ease.
Our minds wander most of the time, it would be strange if we had a quiet mind because we have so many things which influence us daily. What we need is to find a way to find this quite place. One way is to sit down and stop what we are doing.
Mediation is letting go of all of these thoughts and bringing our focus back to one point. And this one point is preferably just a flickering candle or a leave on a tree, nothing that raises further thinking.
That one point can be anything, a song, our breath, a candlelight, a certain sound, chanting, felling ourselves – you see there are many ways to meditate.
Give it a try and just start to surrender to what is, the benefits are limitless.
Good luck and Namaste
Autumn was for me always just another season.
It’s getting darker and winter is approaching us but the past years I wasn’t thinking too much about anything else.
Now, as a mother, I start to cherish the seasons more again.
There’s so much beauty hidden inside and I was stupid not to see it.
I think I was a child the last time I collected chestnuts although it’s really fun.
Only now when my little son stands in front of me with his eyes shining brightly because he found a shiny brown chestnut I start to realise how many wonderful things autumn has for us.
It’s not days getting darker and colder, it’s a whole new world to discover in autumn.
Leaves change their colours and start to dance with the wind when they fall from the trees.
They make wonderful noises when you walk through them. They smell differently once they were falling on the earth.
The sun is still warm and when we run outside we can take the jackets off for a little while.
If we watch the birds we can see that they collect nutshells and little branches for building nests.
The squirrels start to collect nuts to be prepared for the winter.
Mornings are foggy and colder these days but we can see if the days will be sunny or not.
Even rainy days in autumn are wonderful days. We can jump into puddles and laugh loud because it’s so much fun.
So many things I just see now again.
Start to see the world through the eyes of a child and you will rediscover a life full of excitements.
No kid would say that autumn is boring or that they like summer more because they take life as it is and see the wonderful parts in everything.
We can learn so much from our children. This purity and positive approach to life is a gift!
I’m watching my son sleeping while writing and am so so so thankful for being his mom and learning from him a whole new way of living (which I knew once but that seems so long ago that I forgot about it).
Enjoy the autumn – it’s so worth it!
Sleeping without mommy
I’m sitting in the kindergarten and am not believing what I’ve seen.
My son, the little one who sleeps only with me or his dad, is actually sleeping.
It’s the first day where we wanted to try if he may sleep and he’s surprising us all.
This little bunch of energy was on the arm of his kindergarten teacher and she rocked him into sleep.
Help, this is another point which seems to be harder for me as a mom than for him during this integration phase.
My baby does not need me.
I know I know – it’s not true and surely he needs me and I will be there for him until my last breath but these mini steps away from me always show me how grown up he already is.
The tiny baby is walking through his toddler life and he has a strong will and confidence – we gave him the unconditional love and he knows he can count on us.
He trusts and when I say “I pick you up later, my love” he knows that I will be there.
My heart is bursting – I’m so proud of this little fellow ♥️
My baby is a kindergarten kid – when did that happen?
He was a tiny baby yesterday and today he is already staying a few hours alone in the kindergarten.
Alone, without me, without the one who was by his side since the day he was born.
I remember vividly how this tiny human being was laid on my chest and how good it felt.
My life changed in that second, profoundly; he is the most important person and only if he feels fine and has all he needs I feel fine.
My heart is walking outside of my body, this sounds strange but that’s exactly how it is when you are hit by a love so pure and unique.
And now we are at a stage where I have to leave him, that’s hard, for us, for him and for me.
He doesn’t understand why mommy is leaving, she has been there his entire life.
How can she smile and say goodbye? She’s saying she picks me up later but I have no idea what that later means. I just see her leaving and I don’t want her to leave.
And I, I have to smile and tell my baby goodbye, I see tears welling up because he doesn’t understand and I want to take him and hug him tight and whisper into his ear that all is fine and mommy is here.
Instead I smile and kiss him and leave.
The door closes and I listen, his crying never lasts long, he is quickly distracted by something they offer and I know he’s fine but still my heart aches.
He’s almost 18 months now, one and a half years old, when did that happen, I don’t know.
Motherhood is an amazing roller coaster journey and the speed is crazy.
One moment you find out that you’re pregnant and the next your child starts kindergarten.
Soak in every minute you have, these memories will last a lifetime and there won’t be something nicer than telling your child one day how it started to walk, to eat, when it had the first tooth or said the first word.
Water is one of the #elements which is amazingly indifferent – it can be cold and warm and hot and ice and hard and soft and scary and wild and dark and deep and turquoise and sunflooded and so much more.
Today it was calm and calming – just standing at the shore and watching at the different colours and tiny waves ducks leave when swimming by had a #calmingeffect #howasundayshouldbe
It's autumn and it seems as if we can watch the earth slowing down and preparing for winter.
Leaves change their colours and soon they will fall. #life slows down and so should we.