than rolling out the mat
This will be another blog post.
Meanwhile while I am writing that one I would like to know from you:
What means Yoga for you?
I look forward to all your answers <3
This will be another blog post.
Meanwhile while I am writing that one I would like to know from you:
What means Yoga for you?
I look forward to all your answers <3
One month is gone already – it’s February!
We are getting closer to the renewal time of spring. How lovely is alone this thought.
In general I like winter, if it would be the winter we all dream of. Snowy landscapes, cosy homes, steaming tea cups, children building a snowman…
The problem is that my winter doesn’t look like that. Whenever we would have time for these real snow days there is no more snow but grey mud or even worse just rain.
The first time my son was on his new slide was the last so far because since then there either was no snow or in the snow regions it was so much that they called out the emergency status. That means we have a new slide, a new snow suit, even wonderful warm boots but no snow.
The same goes for the snowman. As wonderful as a winter could be, this winter wasn’t showing up like we wished (at least not in Munich).
Others may say now that this isn’t entirely true, and they are right. The winter for us wasn’t like we wished for. We work from Monday to Friday and only the weekend is the time where we could fully enjoy the winter-wonderland. If we would have had time throughout the week our feeling towards this winter would be different.
I’m not complaining, we are fine, we won’t break into tears because of these missed snowportunities 🙂
The interesting part is indeed how different we all see things.
My husband is Libyan, for him everything under 0°C is too cold to go outside unless you have to. For me, I like the warm days more but it’s OK if it’s cold. I learned there is no wrong weather, there are only wrong clothes, that’s the way to handle the weather in Germany. And our son? With almost three years he is simply exploring the world. If it’s cold or warm, dry or wet, lighted up or dark, he will always find something on every single day that is interesting.
We started into this year with a month full of snow, rain, grey days and a bit of winter sun. The first half of January was a re-adjusting at work for me. Even if the break between Christmas and the new year is just a couple of days it seems as everyone is starting new and not too stressed into another year. The second half took the speed up again and currently I ask myself how to survive a full year with this level of stress.
The simple answer would be February.
I know that my work life will change a bit in the next months as projects are closed and new are starting. I hope there will be more time again to focus on my development, professional as well as private.
As days start to be longer again we will wait patiently for the spring to spend more and more time outside. The lack of sunshine is draining the last depots. Even better to have the possibility to plan a short vacation before the long summer vacation this year.
Travelling with a toddler is not pure relaxation but indeed a wonderful experience. We plan another flight with him in March and look already forward to new discoveries.
Apart from that I guess the only plan is to enjoy more and worry less.
Going back to what really counts in life is one of the keys to happiness. Our jobs are eating lots of time and if we don’t work we worry about work. That’s not how it’s supposed to be. Once you are out of the office you should start to enjoy your private leisure time. Somehow many forgot how it works.
We don’t live to work until we die. The purpose in life should be greater and bigger than heading to work and be a good employee, employer, boss, manager, consultant, sales assistant, truck driver, whatever you work. Where are the happy men and women, mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, wives and husbands, cousins, artists, dancers, hippies, all these who don’t have places in their work?
At work I am a manager but the rest of my life I am a woman, a mom, a wife, a yogi, a painter, a cook, an artist, a writer, a blogger, a psychologist, a healer and so much more. I need this work-free time to be happy in everything else that I’m here for and being stressed because of my job should not have a place there. Not I, neither my husband nor my son deserve to be surrounded by a stressed person.
It’s hard to let go and just be. I know because I’m not good at it but I try. I will never stop trying to let go as it is one important part for my own sanity.
One month is already gone. Eleven more will follow until we reach 2020 and what do we want to remember? The sleepless nights of worry, the break-downs of being over-worked, the mistakes we made?
No, we want to remember the lessons learned, the laughter, the love that surrounded us. We want to remember the good time which was more than the bad time. To reach this we have to let go and that means to shift our focus. At work my focus is on my work but as soon as I shut down my laptop and turn off my phone the focus is on me and my family – that’s where it belongs to.
I wish you all a shift of your own personal focus. Let go of what isn’t needed at all and minimize the stress as best as you can.
Months are passing by so fast – we need to cherish the time we have!
Less is more – my way to minimalism
Minimalism is something I like so much. It gives you room, space, air – open spaces are a symbol of liberty.
How to start and apply this minimalism in a small flat which once was a single home? Now this is the home of our family, means my son, my husband and me and a change is needed.
This sentence is partly true.
I am de-cluttering, everything, every tiny space in the house will be turned upside down. While doing this I start to realize how many things we have, how many unused items, how much of what doesn’t make us happier because most of it is hidden behind doors, in the back of an wardrobe buried under something else.
What do we use and wear frequently, what do we use and wear from time to time, what do we use and wear never?
Sorting out makes me feel good. This act of letting go is not only sorting my wardrobe but also sorting my life.
How much do you have in your life that doesn’t make you happy?
Have you ever thought about it?
How many white shirts does one single person need? Seriously, even if you wear them 24/7, even if you change it twice a day – the amount of clothes in my wardrobe isn’t to be justified. Not even if I try to find an excuse.
This overflow is present wherever we go. I think we are a generation with an amount of choices that is hard to handle, especially when someone has not yet developed a certain kind of confidence.
If your path in life is not yet clear and you are searching for your personal way you will find thousands of possibilities and you end up in a jungle.
I think it’s important to cut down what’s not needed as much as we can. I say extra as much as we can. We don’t have to start and go so far back in time that we have the next “problem”. A certain kind of minimalism is needed, at least for me. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to use these billions of possibilities we have.
In contrary, it means that I am thankful for what we have. We are lucky to have this wonderful choice! The minimalism has to set in when we are choosing. Instead of taking all we can, which has the risk of getting lost again, we should take what we can handle.
I want to write, what I am doing here, that means I take the opportunity and use the internet for what I like to do.
I also would like to start a yoga teacher training and I could sign up right now. This opportunity is just a few clicks away. But I would not be able to succeed right now because I have a full-time job, a family with a toddler, a quite full calendar and barely time for writing and some yoga.
Do you see what I mean? I cut down and let go. That doesn’t mean this chance has passed, that means it isn’t fitting in at this moment. Once the toddler is older I may want to think about it again. Or I may have something else by then which is more important for my life at that stage. You never know where life goes. Things that were once important are vanishing from your life without leaving even traces. Sometimes it’s even enough to listen to your gut feeling.
My way is just starting. Or even better said, this journey is the destination. Not everything in your life need to hit a predefined goal!
What am I doing in general?
I don’t have a plan, that means I go by intuition which is my way. Maybe you are the same kind because I have enough pressure in my life that I cannot fully control (like work for instance), it wouldn’t feel good to put myself under another kind of pressure. For some persons that won’t work because they need a strict plan in place. This is your way to find out what’s best for you.
I made a list, my list. It is kind of a plan, that’s correct, but it’s not written in stone. This list is like a working document. I add things as they pop up and I cross out either because it’s done or because it’s not important anymore. This list has no priorities, if I have checked something on it at the end of the day, then I’m happy. If not, then it is like it is.
To be honest, for me this works best, I don’t feel depressed when this list is long because I know that nothing on that list is urgent. Everything on there will make my life less cluttered once it’s done but without any pressure behind.
My way doesn’t end here because I realized that it’s not only about minimizing what we have but also about making changes.
I used my electric toothbrush for years and would have had so many benefits in my brain to convince anyone to buy an electric brush. You don’t believe what I use now. A bamboo brush.
No plastic, no electricity, no batteries, no timer, no sounds, a simple and easy bamboo brush.
I changed! The way forward for me is not only about getting rid of things. It is also to think about what we have and how we could improve there. Not feeding the plastic industry is a good feeling! This is just a small start.
I’m far away from being perfect and there are many things where I can start to check for alternatives. There are also many things where I don’t find alternatives because I wouldn’t feel happy with the alternative. And sometimes even there simply are no alternatives. The balance is the key, as it is so often. As long as you know where to cut things down you will be fine.
Every step you make to improve your life and your environment is important. If only each person is starting we all would make a difference. Be the example and show your family, friends and neighbors what alternatives we have.
This is my way.
I just started and am happy if you share what you are doing.
Are you trying to change?
Are you living with all you need but not more?
Do you have stuffed closets and no clue what’s inside?
Are you lost in the jungle of possibilities you have?
How do you want to change your life?
Are you happy with your life as it is?
Let me know – I would love to hear your stories <3
Do we expect too much (to be happy)?
There is no correct answer to this question! But there are many examples of where we indeed expect too much or have wrong expectations.
Life is not a fairy tale and even if many are dreaming of a big love story lots of them are disappointed in the end.
The question is why.
You meet the person you fall in love with and luckily this person falls in love with you as well.
What else can we wish for?
But there it starts – we start to expect.
The romance should stay a lifetime.
I want to be treated as a princess.
The butterflies should always be there.
That won’t happen!
Do you know that you are one of the luckiest persons on earth if you fall in love and you are loved back?
So many long for this experience and will never know how it feels like!
Why do we start to destroy this love by expecting it to be like this or like that?
Our love is unique as our fingerprint and once we feel our heart beating in the same rhythm as the heart of our loved one nothing will be like it was before.
This pure luck will change us forever!
Change – yes, we do change! But we don’t change to be part of a movie romance story with a happily ever after, where everything falls into place like we wish and smells like roses and candy.
We change as we start to balance between who we are, who we are as a couple, where we want to go (alone and as a couple). There are so many questions and some of them are asked while some are considered answered already because we love each other, don’t we?
Here the first wrong expectations start to set in.
I love but how strong is this love?
Am I able to go against anything if I would have to; to save it or not?
Do I know everything about my partner or do I guess?
Just because I want to spent the rest of my life with this person and have children doesn’t mean my partner wants the same. Or maybe he wants the same but not within the same time I wish for.
Guessing is feeding my wrong expectations.
Of course “we” want to marry – that’s what couples do. Can you answer for your partner? He may have no idea that you think this way and will never ask you because he’s happy just like it is.
Love is happening. That’s correct. So why don’t we take it like it is and instead put this precious love into a time-schedule? And what would be the time-schedule?
If you feel that the love you feel is not making me happy – that’s hard but that happens because of different expectations.
The hardest is to let go!
Once you have the strength to let go and acknowledge that this love is wonderful and all you wished for, but that it wasn’t meant to be for a lifetime; only then you are able to make peace with yourself and with the person who wasn’t fulfilling what you wished for.
It’s not the task of somebody else to fulfill your desires. You are responsible to live the life you want to live. So don’t make the mistake to attach your “happy” to a person. Instead be happy together with that person as long as it lasts!
Life is never black or white. We are so unique and have millions of different thoughts and wishes and hopes; there is no right or wrong when love sets in.
Only the one who loves deeply will understand what love is.
You know what love is and you are able to love, that’s a gift.
Every love has its uniqueness – if you loved once it doesn’t mean that you will experience the same again.
I can assure you that it won’t be the same. Not because I’m a love expert but because it can never be the same.
You are a different person and the person you love is either a different one or a different person like you due to experiences made before.
I’m not talking about a certain kind of love. Even if we distinguish between the love for a partner, the love for family, the love for a child or the love for friends – they all will never be the same.
Be even more thankful when you live with your love and tell them! Go ahead and tell them how happy you are to be around them, how love is surrounding you.
Happiness in first place is always something inside of you! It can take a million people who love you, they won’t make you happy if you are not able to accept this love in your life.
I wish you a life full of love, a heart warm and happy and with lots of memories and a stomach full of butterflies. But always remember, you are the first person you need to love truly before anyone else has a chance and don’t expect them to love you in a certain way. Take them as they are and be happy!
Nobody will tell you to take care of yourself!
Your life – your responsibility
Why being an egoist isn’t always bad
We are growing up learning to take care of one another and to share, which in general is great, but what nobody is telling us along the way is that we will face times where nobody will take care of you.
We should not act egoistic, being an egoist is bad – we are bad if we are an egoist. While I partly agree, because I’d love to see non-egoists everywhere, I partly disagree quite strong.
To put myself behind is something which is valuable in many ways, if I stand up for elder persons and offer them my seat for instance. I can start and collect many examples why it’s good to think about others. The main problem is that it will not work out 100% because nobody is perfect and social and caring like I would like them to be.
To be a caring person is wonderful as long as it’s not affecting my own sanity and here the egoist has to step in.
Only if I take care about myself, if I give myself enough time to rest, to recover, to grow, to meditate, to move, to think, to whatever makes you feel good – only then I have the strength to be there when others need me. Center yourself exactly where you are!
We are often truly exchangeable – which is not nice but sadly the reality.
If I just think about work-life, be it my own or everyone else’s, every single one of us can be exchanged within the blink of an eye. The world isn’t stopping just because I’m not there anymore. Even if many think that they are very important especially in their professional life, I can assure you, YOU ARE NOT!
A waitress is kicked out and the next is starting right away, of course that can work, you think if you are the vice president of a large traditional family business and nobody can replace you? From whom did you take over? There will always be someone coming after and that’s life, nothing is permanent.
Knowing this and knowing that I can only be the best version of myself if I take care of myself taught me to step back if I need to. I worked through many “just a small” colds instead of going on sick leave and recover properly before being back at work. NOBODY will say thanks for that and that’s good because only then you learn what’s important.
No work is more important than my health. Only if I’m healthy I can work.
So here we are – if I answer the phone with a croaky voice being obviously not healthy not many will ask you to go to the doctor and stay in bed. Many will ask you with the pity in their voices if you don’t feel fine but will switch in the next second to tasks that need to be done.
Be an egoist and RECOVER properly, long-term this is the only possibility to stay healthy and maybe to reach the change you want to see in this society.
What about invisible problems? A croaky voice, ok, but if you have mental illnesses it’s not even visible. You will tell me now that you are happy about that fact but that’s wrong.
I would love to invent something like a face turning pink-striped when having mental health issues not to put the spotlight on that person but to raise awareness of how many people are affected. This taboo needs to be broken and people should be treated properly as if they have a broken leg. It may take longer, yes, but it’s as important as any other illness to be cured!
I seriously don’t want to stamp persons as sick but I am sure that many are not asking for help or are going to get help themselves because this stamp “crazy” is still so active in our society. If you are not visibly ill then what? You have a day where you don’t feel fine, that’s normal. If it’s more than one day, then pull yourself together, it’s easy like that, isn’t it?
No, it isn’t and everyone who thinks it is has luckily never experienced mental health issues!
So please, don’t be shy, don’t be ashamed, don’t feel ‘not normal’ or crazy – there is help out there and please reach for it!
There is slowly a re-thinking on it’s way in our society but it needs people to go out and to show their pink-striped faces, people to say “Yes, I have problems”, people to assure that it is nothing to be afraid of! I promise you, if we really would put stripes in our faces the ones without would even be in the minority.
To reach a change we need to start.
Be the change you want to see…
Be an egoist and take care of yourself!!!
(Because nothing is permanent 🙂 )