I’m proud because I designed a journal. A gratitude journal.
Being grateful is wonderful to commit to a healthier lifestyle. Being happy with our life is something many are striving for. We don’t need to look on the outside but instead put our focus on what we have already. Shifting perspective is the aim of this journal.
You can start now your own journey with it. Cherish your life in the present moment.
Believe me, this is just the start. My time off-work made me start to write again and there is much more to come, I promise.
A journal is indeed not a masterpiece of writing but for me it is my first printed book with an ISBN on it and I am beyond proud. This is one of the lessons – be grateful for each step, why should I belittle myself if it is an achievement on my way?
Of course I can only write for myself and I changed my mindset to focus on the good and not the bad.
Instead of “it is not a great book where you say about a plot for ages” I’d rather tell myself “be proud of this step on your way. You figured out how to design and create something that’s finally printed and hey, it looks awesome”.
What are the things you are proud of right now?
Let me know in the comments – share your wonderful achievements from your personal way.
And of course here is the link to it if you’d like to have a look.
This year was extreme in all directions and I have not much left to say other than wishing for a better 2021 for everyone.
Enjoy the quiet Christmas days, indulge in good food, Christmas movies, books, whatever brings you peace and joy.
What I would like to do today is adding a bit more gratitude to everything. We often get occupied in the festivities and in the end everyone is stressed and tries to put a smile on the face – why not slowing down a bit.
If 2020 taught us something great, then that slowing down can make a change.
Lena Kraima
Have a look at what you hang on the tree, is it maybe raising childhood memories? Smell, there’s a certain Christmas smell, a mixture of fresh tree, last minute baking, the dinner cooking, perfume and candles. Soak in the atmosphere. Yes, it is different, and yes, we would have loved to have it like usual with more family and with friends included. But instead of being sad about something we cannot change, let us be happy about what we have.
When nature slowed down in spring we have seen wonderful recoveries, maybe this is the time to recover and heal. Slowing down is good for everyone. We all rarely take the time to do it actively, now we are supposed to do it and should see it as a gift.
I look forward to good food and the wonder of Christmas through the eyes of my son. Long walks in nature and maybe a few snowflakes would be awesome. Technology gives us possibilities to connect as well. We cannot meet everyone, but we can video call loved ones in almost every corner on earth. This privilege is often forgotten when people complain.
What are you grateful for today, what does slowing down do to you in a good way?
Let’s collect wonderful moments and remember all the good of 2020. Showing that we are not guided by negativity but are able to enjoy what we have and being thankful for the good in our life.
Just a little reminder at times where people start discussing for multiple reasons.
Be kind, don’t judge, rather leave quietly instead of engaging with rage.
We all walk around not knowing perfectly where we go, so be gentle with the lost ones, be kind to the confused, we only see a change in humanity if we start to change ourselves first.
This year started with so many hopes and dreams… And all of a sudden we reached the end of this year.
Two weeks until Christmas literally means that I would start now to run in circles. This would be the time to go to malls, into the city, do the Christmas shopping. But instead, instead I sit here and type patiently. A hot steaming tea on my left side, part of a chocolate Santa on the right side. My husband went outside with our son, it’s just me and my thoughts.
Two weeks – normally that sounds short and like not enough time left, but this year nothing is normal. If you ask people to go two weeks into quarantine it sounds for them like a lifetime.
What happened this year seems like a massive slow down
A slow down with different names. Call it lockdown, partly lock down, quarantine or light lockdown. In the end all had the very same effect, they slowed down our life. And sure, you can start now to complain. It took the economy down, many people struggle, that is correct. What is also correct is that complaining will not change that. I don’t want to focus on the bad and rather focus on the positive. There are lots of positive effects all this had. You need to open your eyes and your mind and I am sure you will start to see them.
This has nothing to do with a pandemic induced slowing down but it may help anyone to see what you can do to slow down in a healthy way.
Going from 100 to 0 is by far not an easy task and I can tell you from my own experience that it needs strengths. Sounds strange, right. Many people think as soon as you slow down you are completely relaxed. It would be nice but unfortunately it is not like that.
Slowing down is a process of learning.
Many people cannot let go of their routine, of their “how things should be” and doing nothing is harder than some can imagine. It’s also for a reason that many are falling into a depression once they are retired, life was busy and all of sudden there seems to be nothing. And this void needs to be filled, but how. Adjusting to a slower lifestyle takes time and exercise as everything else in life. Finding out what you need, what you want, what are the things that make you happy, all of this is new.
And one other thing just before I start to get comments on how privileged I am. Yes, I agree and I am fully aware of that. I know that my position here is not one which has been affected and shattered my life, but many who are able to sit down and read this blog are in a similar position, right. I don’t deny all the tragedies, but I barely believe that people who are affected beyond imagination will sit peacefully in front of a web device and read my words.
So, what are the positive effects?
Focussing on one self is something fully positive. Do you know who you are? Who are you besides your profession, besides your role as partner, parent, sibling, or whatever it is. Who are YOU? What makes YOU happy?
We all focus lots on what others expect from us, how we should be in this life. I think the first step is learning to let go of these expectations and focussing on your own self.
Once this is accomplished as first step you may surrender into the slow pace of your life and find out what you want. Mindfulness and gratefulness are two big words, and they are so important to find your way. See what you achieved already, be thankfully for all the opportunities you had in your life so far. Instead of running and starting something new take care of yourself. Self-Care is often so underestimated although it is definitely very important. Only if you are properly taken care of you will have the strength, the power, the endurance to start something new.
I’m at the verge of going into another stage and although I think that my prior job has been purposeful I am thirsty for something with even more depth.
These times are times where we all have more time than we ever thought to focus on where we are, what we want and how we want to move forward. The pandemic is a huge change in everyones life, why don’t we start to embrace the possibilities instead of focussing on the restrictions?
A mind can never be restricted, which is good and dangerous at the same time.
I would like to hear all the positive things that happened to you, what did you learn, what has been accomplished, what makes you happy?
For me, I can truly say we have such an exclusive family time – seeing our son growing is a gift and we can focus better as we don’t hurry from here to there. Our eating behaviour changed for the good. We always loved home cooked meals, but with less shopping and more planning it turned into a more local and sustainable direction. Neighbours are supporting each other more than before. We discover the nature around us with different eyes. We have time to read, to be creative, to do what we love together.
Everything in life has two sides – focus on the good! And of course stay healthy. Namaste
But if I look around we are further away from it than ever before.
The freedom the internet gives us is taking the peace away.
This sentence is on point – we are so free in this century than never before but instead of using this freedom wisely it is abused. People are hiding behind their mobile devices and hit other with words, written out, stamped and traceable, the seem to be fearless in the sanctuary of their own home.
I love to reach many people across the globe with what I write here but if I check social media it also scares me. For almost every news line you read you find comments below which are hard to take in. Many are so awfully beyond what is considered respectful that I wonder what monsters hide behind these profiles.
A mother loses her child – comments start from “why didn’t she watch her child better” and end with “She doesn’t deserve to be called mother”.
People in an ICU were burned to death due to a fire breakout in the hospital track – comments are “You see, with the flu symptoms you better would have stayed at home instead of calling it Covid-19 and blocking the ICUs” or “who cares, their own fault”.
A new Corona-Hotspot has been named and one of the first comments is “Why don’t the finally stop to let immigrants in, the borders should be closed” – this is so completely out of context.
I’m just sitting and staring at the screen, wondering when all of this happened.
A major shift in society does not happen over night.
It is like a disease, slowly entering every space. These “monsters” start to reveal their faces when going out on the streets, we have seen it several times. I’ve never heard about so many demonstrations before against the government than in 2020. Especially when it would be the time to stay at home they start to show up in masses outside.
If we want peace, the start should be within us! If we want freedom, we should not try to take freedom away from others. It is just a simple game, only do to others what you want others to do to yourself. Do I want to be attacked by strangers because of my mindset? Surely not! So why would I attack someone who is different than I?
Spirituality is abused instead of being lived.
When it comes to spirituality many people claim it for themselves, as if they own it, as if they are the incarnation of wisdom. If you are a spiritual person, then you don’t fight for it! You live it because you want to go ahead and be a role model for others.
Don’t give others the soil to plant their faulty seeds!
Smile and step away. Know when it is worth to explain your side but also know when it is completely senseless. Being quiet sometimes means being wise and not getting involved in the drama. I’m a person who loves to “correct” if I see false assumptions but I also know how to take care of my mind and soul. The more I get involved with stubborn people, the more my energy levels disappear. I don’t want to feel depressed because of what others think? Their drama is not my cup of tea, instead I rather drink a cup of tea in peace and surround myself with the positive things life has in store for us.
Positive thoughts are essential for happiness!
With all the bad news and craziness around us, we can learn to see the positive and once we change our mindset we start to be happier. You cannot change the world, no, but you can change your world and the more you change the more others see that it works.
To live peacefully is our right and we are the first person to be in charge of it. Only when you change profoundly to the good you can start to see the good in every situation.
Let’s be the best versions of ourself and start this wave of positive thoughts.
What if we comment on each and every bad comment we read something nice?
Let’s start a wave of positivity rolling over the web – there must be more people out there who are compassionate and empathic and nice than the ones who are not.
For every nice reply to a mean comment add the hashtag #BeThePeaceYouWantToSee Who is with me? I can’t take it any longer that mean and harsh comments remain uncommented and instead of starting war we just are as we would all to be, peaceful and positive!
I never ask you to share something – this time I ask you – please do us all a favour and share, the more who participate the more we reach together.
I just flipped a card of self love this morning and it said something similar to the headline – plus that only of you feel good yourself you will be a good companion for others, and that’s exactly the point.
Being my own priority may sound weird, I completely agree on it. We all want to be easy going, we want to be loving and caring persons, persons who are fun to be around, all of it sounds great and it is wonderful if we can be that awesome person. The truth behind is that you can only be that awesome person if you have enough done for yourself.
We all hide when we feel exhausted and depressed, we don’t want to see anyone after a cried-through night with puffy eyes, when anxiety sets in we want to hide like a snail in her house. Aren’t we loveable then at well? Of course we are because only then we learn and grow, only then we would need someone most, only then we reveal our deepest emotions.
Let me tell you that there is nothing at all selfish when you make yourself a priority! I even tell you that you NEED to do it!
We all need to have time for ourselves to get grounded, get settled, reconnect with our inner child, listen to the whispers of our soul. Me-time is much more than heading to the hairdresser or get our nails done. Me-Time is the time where you process all what we are exposed to on a daily level. Even if we would avoid the news we still hear stories from neighbors, families, friends – there’s love and laughter and drama, there is so much to cope with that it is overwhelming once in a while.
Life isn’t supposed to be easy, it shows us daily that there is lots of misery on this planet – now, in the middle of a pandemic even more than ever before – but life is also wonderful, even when there are times which are not easy. To realise this and not to get lost in the dark we need these times where we embrace it all.
I am 42 years old, almost 43, and if I learned only one thing it is that nothing is permanent.
I struggle as everyone else, sometimes more and sometimes less, and in the end not one of these struggles has been permanent.
As time goes by depressions go by, as times change anxiety changes, all is fluid and moving, we are not made of stones.
Last year was a miserable year for me, job wise, of course last year had as many wonderful moments as it had bad. But if I look back to 2019 I often see only the bad (still) because it is a process of processing what happened. This processing is only taking place when I make myself a priority, when I take a time-out and live through parts of it, meditate, or even just lay down and stare at the ceiling. Only if the bad is processed it lifts the veil of the good things that happened to me last year, and of course there were so many of them. People tend to drown in misery and that’s nothing unnormal, it’s part of human nature, it needs strengths to get out of this circle and look out for the positive. Once you start it you will be excited, believe me.
The lotus flower grows out of mud, this symbolism is wonderful – even if you are covered in shi* from head to toe you can smile and start to wash it off!
So – 2019, the year I wanted to erase in my brain – thanks I did not.
Besides all the bad stories (and they were bad not because I did something wrong!) I would’ve erased memories of our summer vacation, memories of the third birthday of our son (he doesn’t deserve that mummy forgot all about it!), our wedding anniversary in Venice, this wonderful city, Christmas with the family and all these thousands of happy memories in between.
Even the really crappy times at work left good memories because I went through it, with stomach pain, yes, but today I know they made me stronger and I learned – if there would ever be a next time I would respond earlier and set more boundaries. Karma is the word of 2019 for me because I believe that one day all people involved will feel their Karma hitting them. What goes around, comes around.
For 2020 I am not yet sure which word it could be. This pandemic hit us all in many different ways and also so similar. My plan for 2020 was to relax, to go into a sabbatical and become a Yoga Teacher, learn about Ayurveda and spend time with my family. The plan was to recharge my batteries after 2019 and be ready to start through in 2021.
We are now at the end of 2020 and I am about to finish my Yoga Teacher Training.
I tried to revive this blog – a bit at least, and I take time for myself when needed. We were closer than ever before as a family during the first lockdown due to Covid19 and if I see the news we may have a second lockdown just in front of us. I struggle, not all of the time but in between. There are days when I hardly want to leave the bed because the uncertainty is overwhelming and raises an anxiety of the unknown. How will it be, what will happen next, why do we need to experience this? But there won’t be answers to these questions right away. We may have answers in a few months, in the next years, who knows? We cannot plan life and this is one big lesson learned for someone like me who loves to plan each step ahead. No, not this time. I am forced to see what happens, to step into the unknown daily and wait for what’s next. What I can plan is to control my mindset as best as I can and believe me, this is not easy. I had two really really depressed days with anxiety and everything was overwhelming. Now, day 3 and I’m typing – I sit here with candlelight, we were on the playground before, chatting breathing fresh air and watching our children playing freely, two days ago I would not even been able to think about this. Life is good! It goes on and on and everything is flowing.
You will move through the dark times and always see light again.
Make yourself a priority, hide for two days if needed and then you will be back and people will not scare you but uplift you. Small talks with friends will be good and create once more good memories.
Doing good things for yourself is as important as being good to others. My son needs his mom, my husband his wife and after these two days where they saw me miserable I am now back to be fun to be with. This is how life goes, even a 4 year old is not having good mood all day long – he can relate in his own childish perceptions.
All that counts at the end is that all is good!
For now all is good and when the next low hits us we know we will make it through – I hope you have many highs and not too much lows, a pandemic isn’t make it easier, but hey, we are all in this together and you are not alone!
…it is all about old villages, landscapes, chianti and la dolce vita.
This is what people expect when reading about Tuscany.
Vacation time should then be even more, the above plus some beach relaxation, pool dips and museums.
My “When in Tuscany” differs from year to year…
This year I am sitting on the bed and am writing, besides that I am listening to Deepak Chopra’s “Metahuman”.
My husband takes care of our son and the dinner we will have soon just needs to be heated up, I cooked it yesterday.
No fancy restaurant with a four-year old, we tried, we won’t try again until maybe next year. It had nothing in common with a relaxed dinner so why to bother about it any longer? Let go of what no longer serves you, I learned this through my yoga and as nothing is permanent (another yoga wisdom) we let go and have dinner “at home” in our own safe space.
We relax and that is what we need and want
We slept really long today and were just hanging around. Playing a bit, started a washing machine (yes, you read correctly, we wash while on vacation and return with suitcases full of clean clothes, it is great), enjoyed the big terrace we have here and we stayed in the shadow because it is HOT. For September it is really much more than we expected. The sun is burning and even though my two men are not that sensitive I am – I just look at the sun and already feel my skin burning.
This year I am putting in half an hour here and there to move forward with my 200 hour yoga teacher training, which literally means learning. Learning while on vacation, some would tell me now that this is not relaxation but believe me, it is. If you love what you do then you will find joy in it and here I am – I love Yoga, I love to write, I love my family. The only little problem is how to make money with the things I love 😉 I will figure this one out later.
When Covid-19 stepped into all of our lives a vacation this summer was far beyond our imagination – so all we do now is being thankful for being here!
Soaking up the tuscan sun before we will return to an autumn kissed Munich later in September is just soothing our souls.
Even though we haven’t been personally affected with an illness due to this pandemic, we have been affected like each and everyone. Stages from not believing what starts there in this world up to being scared of what lays in front of us. It became eventually a new normal and we are lucky to be in a quite good situation money and job wise, but still, this new normal is scary from time to time and leaves us depressed.
Once you tasted what pure freedom means everything scares us when it takes part of this freedom away from us.
And don’t get me wrong please, we are as free as we can be right now and we fully agree on all precautions which have been taken. But even though you know that you for instance need to stay at home for your safety it is different to staying at home just because you would like to spend a day at home doing nothing outside.
Being here is giving all of us a little rest. A new normal is different on vacation and the Italians are doing it really good! Better than some germans to be honest, maybe because they suffered more but instead of complaining they include these new rules and still celebrate life. In Germany we often have the feeling we are trapped between the complete neglect and the over-caution, it still doesn’t feel normal and one of the reasons for me is that it’s treated different wherever you go, but that is another topic.
How is it here during a pandemic
Back to tuscan life right now. And yes, of course here the Covid-19 topic is as present as everywhere else. Our tuscan life differs not too much from the life in Munich, we just have of course much more ice cream and we cook less. Also the luxury of having a pool in front of your doorstep is definitely a big plus here. Apart from that we decide on a day by day basis what we are going to do.
Last year we stayed at the same place, we enjoyed the pool as well as the beaches nearby and we strolled through every town in driving distance. This year we step back a bit because we avoid crowded places. We have been to so many places we truly love here but we love our health more than taking any risks. Some may ask now why we went if we don’t want to explore the region? Because we know the region and we love it, because we have the possibility and because we’d rather stay around the pool than in our flat in Munich. Because we may go to one city or another…like today when we visited Siena. Much shorter than all the times before but still wonderful as city.
Our son was chasing doves on every piazza we visited, this year he can do the same still but less often.
When we were in the Tuscany and Maremma region before our son was born we enjoyed restaurants, we drank coffee in small bars with great views, we strolled peacefully through cities exploring their wonderful history, now we check for playgrounds and check tripadvisor for things to do with children.
The “When in Tuscany” is our lifeline from a newly married couple to a couple soon to be parents in 2015 to parents of a toddler in 2017.
Today we are parents of a kindergarten child, active beyond words, running still after doves but asking every why-question he can think of and talking non-stop (if not talking then singing). Naps are uncool at four because he is not a baby anymore. He is teaching us life every second and at the end of the day, which can be very long these days, the sweetest words we could hear are: This was an awesome day today, I love to be on vacation, it is fun. This alone is enough to justify that we are here right now.
Truly, even though I try to learn so much spiritually which comes along with becoming a yoga teacher, with shifting priorities, with changes in life in general, my son is one of my greatest teachers.
He shows me that life shouldn’t be complicated.
We make it complicated. Simplicity is often giving us more room to grow than anything else. It sets time free to do something more important. His childhood is our day to day life – we should always listen and shift priorities because his childhood will never return. It has been affected already by this pandemic, he wasn’t able to see his friends or just play freely in his kindergarten and he adapted so wonderful to the new situation. He deserves a lovely childhood more than anything else and we as his parents are the ones to make this happen!
Am I a metahuman? Nope, definitely not yet, but even if I will never be one, that will be OK. We are all OK as we are right now. Striving for success is great but stepping back once in a while to reconnect with who we are is essential!
We will live into the day and enjoy our tuscan time at our pace and after that we will see what comes next. It is pretty sure that this won’t be our last time here (and if it would be for whatever reason we could still say we enjoyed it to the fullest).
We live the present moment
Step into your life and be in the present moment, not thinking too much about the past or the future. People forget to live because they are stuck in their past or too busy planning their future. I don’t want to miss the present moments.
Right now next to Deepak reading his book aloud on my phone my son came in with superwings on the iPad asking me for food. My feet are warm because he snuggles up upon them to be close. This moment is precious and I need top now and heat up our dinner because he won’t be that calm much longer 😉
Take care and leave comments if you like these snapshots of my life.
For the travellers, this guide is recommended from my end – we found really wonderful places in it.
Can someone explain to me why rents are increasing as if there’s no tomorrow?
I mean, honestly, I understand fully that a landlord is not giving away his house/ flat for free and wants to earn some money with it. Some money, enough money to be able to maintain everything plus money on top for their own, I got this. What I am not getting anymore is why people who rent are seen as a luxury income. Hey, and I’m not writing about deluxe apartments or big mansions, I’m writing about normal flats, houses for families.
You can argue now that it is my very own fault if I decide to live in Munich and yes, you are partly right with it. Partly because I accept that everything is a bit more expensive here than in a small countryside city, but what I do not accept is that you pay a fortune for nothing.
I am checking offers since a couple of years now and the market is truly insane. People offer for instance a house which is in the state of the 1980’s, the bathroom is a disaster, kitchen not available (means you have to bring your own), carpets everywhere also from the 1980’s, the garden not maintained at all. The size is 110 square metres and they ask for either a monthly rent of 2300 Euro (without gas and water) or if you want to buy the price is 980.000 Euro.
If only I could tell you that this is a joke, but they are indeed serious.
What should a family earn in order to have a nice family home to stay in?
As a family we are willing to pay entry for the zoo, we love to go and eat outside, grab ice-cream on the way to the playground, buy local and support smaller shops in our area, we love the “hood” we are living in. But all of this would be impossible when we move to a bigger place because of these ridiculous prices.
Our current living situation is tiny, our place is small but we live where we want to live. Of course we wouldn’t mind to have more place and a garden, not at all, but not if we have to cut our visits to the museum, eating out or summer vacations.
Are cities only made for the rich?
Are only the top managers allowed to live here? Is it the newly rich clients you are looking for to spend their money here? A city will lose its spirit like this and a city will not have any more stories to tell.
Apart from ‘normal’ families, has anyone ever thought about the elder people? A 82-year old widow who would love to stay in the flat where her husband died but cannot afford it anymore. A 90-year old man who is half blind but knows all the ways he needs for his daily life by heart. A couple married for 60 years and rooted exactly where they live. There is a saying that you cannot plug a tree out of the soil and plant it somewhere else, the same counts for many of the elder. It breaks my heart if I see them shattered because they don’t know where their life will go on. I even forget about all the young ones (us included) because we could make it anywhere, still.
Munich has a history, like every other city, there are biographies of people who lived here and brought something with them. There are statues all over the city and every single one of them tells a story. We will not write further history like this. A city lives through the personalities and if these are all forced to move outside the city spirit will slowly disappear.
Every even little personality surely was not rich and famous by the time they left their footprint in the heart of this city. Some where, some were not, it has always been a good mixture and that is how it should be.
Greedy is the new normal especially when it comes to living spaces within a city. Who has the newest building, who has the best view, who is in the most expensive area,… Shouldn’t it be: who can help neighbours when needed, who can support the homeless, who smiles at strangers because life is a wonderful thing?
Instead of greed let happiness rule because it doubles if you share – at the end of the day that counts more than the number on your bank account, does it not?
Finally we decided to take a break from our munich corona quarantine routine and visit my parents. We waited so long because they are living in a small town and we wanted to avoid to bring the virus out of a big city into their area. Once we decided that we go we tried to avoid even more the contacts we had in munich than before.
Talking about our contacts, truly, that weren’t many because apart from our essential errands the only contacts we had here were neighbours which you obviously meet when you live in the same building.
These “problems” are seriously first world problems. We are both relatively young (depends from which perspective you see it) and in general healthy. Both of us were working, were because the situation changed for me already at the end of last year, but not in a bad way, and my husband “lost” his job due to corona which is also nothing bad as it gives us exclusive family-corona-time if you would like to call it that way. We are not struggling moneywise and our fridge is full.
Humans are strange – especially when they have too much time.
misssfaith
What I have seen in the beginning and also throughout the course of the first weeks from this pandemic lockdown is that many people are wise. Wiser than they probably know even themselves before the pandemic started. Or how would you explain that persons with an immense knowledge of virology never thought about a career in science? Why don’t we have more people willing to study politics? There seem to be many potential leaders out there who know much better how to rule countries?
This pandemic is showing the truth and this truth is for many not as charming as they would love to be seen.
Complaints I cannot hear anymore – and these are just the main ones, meaning the top of an iceberg:
I cannot breathe under that mask, it is ridiculous to ask all people to wear it.
Where are all these issues coming from, I would really love to understand it? As a normal healthy person it is maybe unusual in the beginning and it may get sweaty now during summer, BUT nobody has to wear these masks 24/7. They should be worn in closed buildings, during grocery shopping, etc. Apart from this we still should try to go only when needed and not for extensive shopping trips into some malls, right?
I cannot celebrate my birthday with friends and family because gathering of more than 5 persons is not allowed.
Seriously? Even my 4-year-old wasn’t making a huge issue. Be happy that you are turning a year older! There are people who worry that not all are allowed to attend the funeral of a loved one. This is something really to be sad about!
Our garden is so small, how should we manage to keep the kids entertained?
Our family is living in a two-room apartment, what is a garden? There is plenty of nature on this planet and in many cases you don’t have to drive hours to be in a forest, on a field, at a lake…if you have a garden you are already one of the really lucky ones and you don’t realize?
My favourite restaurant is closed because of corona.
It’s hard to comment here even. Do people know that there are others who have nothing to eat AT ALL? People who struggle to survive?
It’s all made up by the pharma industry to sell their vaccines.
Yes, I’m part of the pharma industry if you want as I work in that area…and surprisingly for many I don’t say everything out there is needed! There are tons of products which may not be life saving or important. But vaccines in general saved millions of lives and still nobody ever forces you to get vaccine, right? It is still your choice in the end!
Third world…
I know already what comments I may get. You cannot argue with third world problems (and this third world is already making me angry as we are one world!). I tell you YES, yes I can argue with it because a pandemic is not stopping anywhere. It is crawling into each little corner of this planet and this virus doesn’t care at all if it hits the poor or the rich. The truth is that we as the rich (and that’s what we are when we have access to health care and internet) have higher chances to survive. We may end up in hospitals, and yes, people died and will die, but they didn’t die in a dark and dirty mud hole without being seen even.
I’m so angry, angry at people who don’t realize how lucky they are, angry when everything which could help is neglected without a valid reason. It is NOT a reason if it doesn’t fit into their way of living or style. A mask isn’t matching the handbag? But you have access to masks, right?
Take a step back for your own sake.
From my perspective it is even essential to compare to be grounded again. Many were flying high as we had no limits and now we see what this can cause? Striving to go higher and higher in general is not a bad thing but it should be done in a mindful way. Question things and analyse them, are they worth doing it? Who would benefit? Would it serve others? What is it doing to the planet?
Seeing the earth recovering is wonderful and sad at the same time. It was us doing the harm!!! There’s no way to neglect this.
We all should use this time as a wake-up call to be a change.
Ok, I started with our decision to visit my parents and that’s what we did.
My lesson to take from there is the following:
Family is the most important!
A garden is wonderful and I would lie if I wouldn’t miss it but the essence of our stay is really just that. People we love are the most precious gift, to have this time together gave us all rest and strength to move forward.
Have you ever thought about it recently? I guess so. This is one of the questions you read on magazines but who has the answer?
The answer is in all of us, in each and every single person alive right now.
Many have lost loved ones – they will surely answer with an yes, but in all honesty, this is not what I mean when I ask.
What I mean is more the question, if this pandemic state is able to change us all in a way that we step away from old habits, that we overthink our whole life, that we start to realise what we need and what we don’t need.
The economy is down, almost in a state which cannot be repaired quickly, but why?
All of us are (and were) buying what we needed during the past three to four months. We were not lacking food and had still enough clothes to wear.
So how can it be that the economy is broken while we still buy what’s essential?
This just shows me one thing: the majority of what the economy is made of is NOT IMPORTANT.
Do we need so many not important items to be available? Or should we start to change our lifes?
Why don’t we drive cars until they are old? Why don’t we wear denims until they have holes? Why do we need so much which is not serving any purpose.
Now you can argue that all serves a purpose because it makes us happy.
But is real happiness something you can buy in a store?
Shouldn’t it be something you feel, experience with someone else, something mundane like an astonishing sunset?
The more I think about this whole situation which is affecting us world wide the more I start to realize what we did, not only to this planet, but also to ourselves. Me included of course. If you have no access to certain things you start to understand their importance and truly the most important during this time is the people you love. Who cares if you wear the newest pair of jeans while sitting on the grass somewhere or stroll through the fields? Who cares if your hair has the newest colour available when you are at home?
Why do we take all these outside impressions so seriously?
Are we not confident enough to be truly who we are? Of course many things are nice to have and I for instance love to use nail polish, but if it’s not available would it kill me? Nope.
We often excuse it with economical reasons, we do it because we support someone else with it – but truly, if you get your nails done in the cheapest Vietnamese store are you seriously supporting?
If you buy a fake brand to “fit into” a society, is this truly the society you want to be in?
If no invitations for events are coming in any more because they are not allowed – how many of your friends call you to ask how you feel?
In the end, I think what I want to say is that everyone should realize how wonderful a life already is and can be without all these superficial items added. Of course they should not vanish and will not vanish but if one thinks twice before adding something “not essentially needed” to his or her life we would have made a huge step forward towards a different world.
Let’s walk together into a future which isn’t build on superficial thoughts – walk into it hand in hand and with an outlook towards a better world than it has been. Together we can achieve so much!
Wow, we made it already to week 10 of this crazy corona quarantine and more than 3 weeks now additionally with a fasting husband at home.
If you ask me how I feel – a mixture of insanity, being tired, running out of ideas for our son, trying to move forward with my yoga teacher training, keeping the mood bearable, when will this be over???
As I know my husband since 2011 we are I guess one of the lucky couples who knew each other already well enough to “survive” a lock-down and a quarantine with no real end in sight (why has this virus to be so greedy – it’s enough little covid, time for you to disappear, please!).
As parents we were put into the situation to be…yeah, to be parents still, right? I need to admit that we are currently in the very fortunate situation to be at home, so no worry about how to get work done while having to take care of our son, this helps immensely and I remember my home office days with him around me too – if you are able to complete 50% of your tasks with your child at home then kudos (it’s like reaching level 200 in Super Mario I guess). I can’t say thanks often enough for platforms like pinterest to give us idea 196 for DIY projects with a 4 year old but also need to mention one book which gave us lots of inspiration and great times already.
Recommended so much (and no cooperation or link where I earn something) – I bought it just because I discovered Laura Brand on Instagram and her ideas are indeed magical!
I’m not lying – there are days where I want to hide under the blanket the whole day watching nonsense on Netflix uninterrupted because I cannot face this world anymore. But then a little hand reaches out to me and I know I cannot. These times are scary and uncertain but my fear is nothing to teach my son – his childhood lays on us and we are the ones to build memories for him. I want him to remember this as a very intense family time, a time we spent happily together, walking through the forest, discovering snails, searching for flat stones to draw on at home. This is our destiny, isn’t it? So we have to make the best out of it!
And writing about destiny – today is day 71 of our quarantine and tonight is the night of destiny in Ramadan. My husband told me last night and shame on me, he tells me each year the meaning but I often forget the whole story behind. As a short explanation:
Allah the Almighty states in the Holy Koran: “Surely, we sent it [the Koran] on the Night of Destiny. And what should make thee know what the Night of Destiny is? The Night of Destiny is better than a thousand months. Therein descend angels and the Spirit by the command of their Lord with their Lord’s decree concerning everything. Peace — so will it be even at the rising of the dawn.” (Surah al-Qadr, Ch 97: V 1-6)
So tonight will be the night of great blessings where god (Allah the Almighty) showers his mercy upon faithful believers. In the Koran it’s said the revelation of the Koran began on this very night. Especially in its last ten days there has been the a showering of blessings and mercy in the month of Ramadan.
If you want to read more in depths you can visit this site:
When you know my blog you know that my husband is muslim whereas I am not – we live very well with these different beliefs but of course we discuss lots. But what we also do, and that’s I guess is the most important, we support each other in what we do. So when he is fasting during the month of Ramadan I adapt (not always to his mood 🙂 but to the schedule) and I like some of the rituals. We should spend a peaceful night tonight and there’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe there are angles, a spirit, a higher force – I am not the one who judges that. Especially when you raise a child together you need to treat each other with full respect and that’s what we do.
As yogi I believe more in destiny in general – not linked to a certain religion. There surely are shifts and I very often use the sentence “it was meant to be” and that’s what I belive in. The choices we make are made for reasons and they guide us to where we should be. If it turned out to be a direction we don’t feel fine in then we take it as a lesson learned and move on.
This is also the way from my perspective to treat this quarantine. Of course I made plans in the beginning (10 weeks ago), we can do so many great things as a family together. And of course this didn’t work out. There were days where I was struggling so so much with anxiety and panic, there were days where our mood was only enough to stare at the TV in disbelief of what’s going on, there were days where we stayed in our PJs from dusk till dawn and that’s OK. If it already taught me one thing than to let go. Letting go of trying to be strong when I feel weak – both are vaild and both are essential in life. Only when you know how it feels to be weak you can be strong.
Tell me, how do you experience this quarantine? I’d love to hear stories from around the globe because one thing is for sure:
I did it – I signed up for a 200 hour yoga teacher Training.
This day will be marked in my calendar as the first step towards a major shift.
When, where, why, what for – all of this will be something I may share in future posts.
For now I just want to shout out that I finally made the decision to sign up and to start this journey.
Burning
I’m literally burning, I want to soak in and learn, dive into the depth of my being and move from one Asana to another. I want Yoga in my life and I want to understand more about it.
It already feels like a wonderful decision and now it’s up to me to start.
Now I will sit back and celebrate this first major decision of 2020 – off to new ways!!!
What has been your first major decision in 2020?
If you are interested in becoming a Yoga Teacher, I can recommend you the book “Teching Yoga beyond Poses”. It was one big inspiration for me and made it easy to finally sign up for the training.
It’s a lifestyle I can’t Escape, even if my inner lazy self would love too, once in a while.
I think I’m totally lost (some would say), lost in the sense of being unable to live without Yoga.
This journey started when I was lost and down to earth.
I was literally down on my knees because I treated myself not in the way I should have.
I guess everybody reaches a time in his / her life where you are forced to change something; something profoundly.
For me this change happened in 2011 and it was just the starting point. I wasn’t sure if my way would bring me up on my feet again or if I had to seek professional help one day.
Books and Yoga was my way and on top a single vacation which was needed more than I was aware when I planned it.
Ever since the decision to change my life the term Yoga is a present part of my life. Some days more and some days less, like waves. On days which are exhausting the waves are stronger and the urge to dive into my yoga is more present than on peaceful days.
Yoga has been my therapy. No, yoga is my therapy!
My drug, my realm, my happy place, my hideaway…it is bigger than visible for outsiders because so much takes place inside of me.
I may not be a typical yogi which raises the question what a typical yogi is.
This picture of how a yogi should be is changing fortunately because a yoga lifestyle is as individual as human mankind is. Nothing is typical, there are no rules on what need to be fulfilled, the only important point is: be authentic and live in a way you are feeling comfortable with!
Every yogi out there is following an individual path and none is better than the other. To learn not to judge others is a big lesson because we all tend to judge others.
How can she call herself yogi if she never stepped into a yoga studio?
How can she write about Yoga without being able to do a handstand?
How can she tell others she’s leading a yoga lifestyle if she is not rolling out her mat daily?
I can and I do because of all of this.
Who is able to tell you who you are, if not you yourself?
The first person being sure about how your life is going along, what path you are on, how you feel about certain topics, how happy you are is: YOU YOURSELF!
One of the biggest lessons in life for me has been that nobody except of me can tell me how I feel or who I am or what I need. I am in charge of it and I decide what I need and what I don’t need. I decide what I want and what I don’t want.
I tell you who I am and nobody else is telling me who they think I am!
Trust your journey and walk your path. This is the best advice I have to give simply because this is what I do. I may be wrong on my way but that’s fine, only if you walk in the wrong direction once in a while you will be able to readjust and turn things upside down to find your right direction.
You are worth to live in a way you want and if this includes yoga, religion, music, literature, any interest you have to feel better, then DO IT!
My way is the yoga way and this includes many side ways as well and at the end of the day my theme is “Yogain’t a choice any more” because it lives within me. Yours may be “Vegain’t a choice any more”, “Shambalain’t a choice any more” or whatever you choose / have Chosen for your life to have a profound impact-
A whole new year lays ahead of us and I’m excited.
Excited and positive, anxious and scared.
Life is unpredictable which makes it interesting but scary at the same.
As a perfectionist you are going to hate it not to know what comes next but the truth is, we will never know what comes next. Neither planning nor wishing will bring us to the point that a life is going as smoothly as we would like.
I just need to look around our home and since we have a child it looks sometimes as if a bomb of Lego and toy animals exploded.
The wonderful part of these “explosions” is that there is life! I admit that I would sometimes which for this old home where you don’t have to clean 24/7 without an end in sight, the times where I just sat down on the couch with a book because nothing else needed to be done. Nowadays there is no “nothing else needs to be done”. This wishing back the old days are only short moments because reality quickly sets in and I’m so grateful for this reality.
Life is far far far away from perfect and this imperfection is so lovely. We are the happiest when we three are together (my son, my husband and I) because indeed, that’s life, that’s reality, that’s all to wish for.
The perfectionist in me is almost crying because I have no idea how this year will go along but what I know is that we can manage all as long as we are a family and love each other like we do.
Is it wisdom that comes with age? I don’t know. Is it what you learn through motherhood? Maybe.
I cannot tell you when exactly this thinking was setting in for me-The more I think about life and what matters most the more I realize that there are profound things like love, trust, emotions, feeling grounded, mindfulness, thankfulness for what is, appreciation of what we have. These are what matters most.
The NOW of our life.
Tomorrow can be anything but if we manage to be happy now we reached a lot!
I’m not a spiritual teacher nor a motivation guide but the more I read and the more I do some research the more I see that many seem to seek happiness and fulfillment.
Our life has far too many choices to reach this stage and we get lost. We lose focus due to the amount of possibilities we have.
Nobody can have it all! I think this is the first and most important step towards an inner satisfaction of what is.
We need to stop ourselves along the way, take a step back, and start to sort. What are our personal priorities, what makes us really happy.
Social media are great, if used properly, and at the same time our personal nightmare, if used as a comparator (in both directions).
As long as we are realistic enough to know that we never ever see the whole picture on social media the usage may be utterly inspiring, we can learn lots and get input. There are some influencers out there who are really showing lots, their raw authentic self, but careful, for the majority we will never grasp the full picture and this is completely OK. We ourselves would also not expose our most vulnerable moments or dark sides to strangers. Just be sure that everyone has these sides (just not visible). The trick is to get inspired by the exposed good stories but don’t feel less worth because of our own failures.
The same goes for news – I barely read them nowadays because I feel more and more depressed, it seems as if there is no peace on earth at all but that’s wrong. Nobody will write a headline about a country at peace. We are responsible to filter all of this for ourselves because no news agency and no influencer and no person besides you is able to see what you need or what you can take at this moment.
You are the first responsibility for yourself and afterwards you decide what you watch, listen to, hear, read, where you step in, help, work, etc. This sounds selfish but it isn’t. Only if you feel at ease with yourself you will be capable of taking the rest.
My husband’s country is in a war state since we met. It won’t help if we start to site here each day and cry and complain and talk about how blessed we are to live here and what an injustice it is that his family is there and and and – it simply won’t help! We need to make sure that we are fine, we are parents, we have a responsibility. And when we are fine we can work, we can try to support, we can be the realistic part on the outside as we are not within, we can be the uplifting part when things go wrong again and try to soothe, we can only give our best in these moments. It is hard but that’s life – unfortunately – we cannot change the world but we can change our approach to our “small” circle in this world and try to be good examples. If everyone would be the best version of him or herself we would make a step in the right direction.
And at teh end of the day my biggest mantra for this year will be nobody is perfect and new ways are always possible – these sentences from a perfectionist are a big step.
My lessons learned from the past years. They may be an inspiration or just a small hint in which direction to think.
Being grateful for what we have and never taking anything for granted is one of the biggest epiphanies ever.
Living in a country without knowing war is not my achievement, it was simply luck of being born here at that time. Thanks!
Having met my husband was such a coincidence, this could never have been planned. Thanks!
Having a really full fridge is a blessing. Thanks!
You could go on like this but you know what, waking up each morning, feeling my heart beating should be reasonenough to be grateful for this life.
A whole new year…lays in front of us.
Let’s focus on the good.
Let’s try to ease the pain.
Let’s help where we can.
Let’s do what we can to make this a better place for all of us.
Minimalism is something I like so much. It gives you room, space, air – open spaces are a symbol of liberty.
How to start and apply this minimalism in a small flat which once was a single home? Now this is the home of our family, means my son, my husband and me and a change is needed.
The more we have the unhappier we are?
This sentence is partly true.
I am de-cluttering, everything, every tiny space in the house will be turned upside down. While doing this I start to realize how many things we have, how many unused items, how much of what doesn’t make us happier because most of it is hidden behind doors, in the back of an wardrobe buried under something else.
What do we use and wear frequently, what do we use and wear from time to time, what do we use and wear never?
Sorting out makes me feel good. This act of letting go is not only sorting my wardrobe but also sorting my life.
How much do you have in your life that doesn’t make you happy?
Have you ever thought about it?
We live in an overflow of possibilities.
How many white shirts does one single person need? Seriously, even if you wear them 24/7, even if you change it twice a day – the amount of clothes in my wardrobe isn’t to be justified. Not even if I try to find an excuse.
This overflow is present wherever we go. I think we are a generation with an amount of choices that is hard to handle, especially when someone has not yet developed a certain kind of confidence.
If your path in life is not yet clear and you are searching for your personal way you will find thousands of possibilities and you end up in a jungle.
The importance of going back to the roots
I think it’s important to cut down what’s not needed as much as we can. I say extra as much as we can. We don’t have to start and go so far back in time that we have the next “problem”. A certain kind of minimalism is needed, at least for me. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to use these billions of possibilities we have.
In contrary, it means that I am thankful for what we have. We are lucky to have this wonderful choice! The minimalism has to set in when we are choosing. Instead of taking all we can, which has the risk of getting lost again, we should take what we can handle.
I want to write, what I am doing here, that means I take the opportunity and use the internet for what I like to do.
I also would like to start a yoga teacher training and I could sign up right now. This opportunity is just a few clicks away. But I would not be able to succeed right now because I have a full-time job, a family with a toddler, a quite full calendar and barely time for writing and some yoga.
Do you see what I mean? I cut down and let go. That doesn’t mean this chance has passed, that means it isn’t fitting in at this moment. Once the toddler is older I may want to think about it again. Or I may have something else by then which is more important for my life at that stage. You never know where life goes. Things that were once important are vanishing from your life without leaving even traces. Sometimes it’s even enough to listen to your gut feeling.
My way
My way is just starting. Or even better said, this journey is the destination. Not everything in your life need to hit a predefined goal!
What am I doing in general?
I don’t have a plan, that means I go by intuition which is my way. Maybe you are the same kind because I have enough pressure in my life that I cannot fully control (like work for instance), it wouldn’t feel good to put myself under another kind of pressure. For some persons that won’t work because they need a strict plan in place. This is your way to find out what’s best for you.
I made a list, my list. It is kind of a plan, that’s correct, but it’s not written in stone. This list is like a working document. I add things as they pop up and I cross out either because it’s done or because it’s not important anymore. This list has no priorities, if I have checked something on it at the end of the day, then I’m happy. If not, then it is like it is.
To be honest, for me this works best, I don’t feel depressed when this list is long because I know that nothing on that list is urgent. Everything on there will make my life less cluttered once it’s done but without any pressure behind.
Let go AND change
My way doesn’t end here because I realized that it’s not only about minimizing what we have but also about making changes.
I used my electric toothbrush for years and would have had so many benefits in my brain to convince anyone to buy an electric brush. You don’t believe what I use now. A bamboo brush.
No plastic, no electricity, no batteries, no timer, no sounds, a simple and easy bamboo brush.
Does it make me happy? Yes!!!
I changed! The way forward for me is not only about getting rid of things. It is also to think about what we have and how we could improve there. Not feeding the plastic industry is a good feeling! This is just a small start.
I’m far away from being perfect and there are many things where I can start to check for alternatives. There are also many things where I don’t find alternatives because I wouldn’t feel happy with the alternative. And sometimes even there simply are no alternatives. The balance is the key, as it is so often. As long as you know where to cut things down you will be fine.
Every step you make to improve your life and your environment is important. If only each person is starting we all would make a difference. Be the example and show your family, friends and neighbors what alternatives we have.
This is my way.
I just started and am happy if you share what you are doing.
What about you?
Are you trying to change?
Are you living with all you need but not more?
Do you have stuffed closets and no clue what’s inside?
Are you lost in the jungle of possibilities you have?
How do you want to change your life?
Are you happy with your life as it is?
Let me know – I would love to hear your stories <3
Nobody will tell you to take care of yourself! Your life – your responsibility
Why being an egoist isn’t always bad
We are growing up learning to take care of one another and to share, which in general is great, but what nobody is telling us along the way is that we will face times where nobody will take care of you.
We should not act egoistic, being an egoist is bad – we are bad if we are an egoist. While I partly agree, because I’d love to see non-egoists everywhere, I partly disagree quite strong.
To put myself behind is something which is valuable in many ways, if I stand up for elder persons and offer them my seat for instance. I can start and collect many examples why it’s good to think about others. The main problem is that it will not work out 100% because nobody is perfect and social and caring like I would like them to be.
To be a caring person is wonderful as long as it’s not affecting my own sanity and here the egoist has to step in.
Only if I take care about myself, if I give myself enough time to rest, to recover, to grow, to meditate, to move, to think, to whatever makes you feel good – only then I have the strength to be there when others need me. Center yourself exactly where you are!
We are often truly exchangeable – which is not nice but sadly the reality.
If I just think about work-life, be it my own or everyone else’s, every single one of us can be exchanged within the blink of an eye. The world isn’t stopping just because I’m not there anymore. Even if many think that they are very important especially in their professional life, I can assure you, YOU ARE NOT!
A waitress is kicked out and the next is starting right away, of course that can work, you think if you are the vice president of a large traditional family business and nobody can replace you? From whom did you take over? There will always be someone coming after and that’s life, nothing is permanent.
Knowing this and knowing that I can only be the best version of myself if I take care of myself taught me to step back if I need to. I worked through many “just a small” colds instead of going on sick leave and recover properly before being back at work. NOBODY will say thanks for that and that’s good because only then you learn what’s important.
No work is more important than my health. Only if I’m healthy I can work.
So here we are – if I answer the phone with a croaky voice being obviously not healthy not many will ask you to go to the doctor and stay in bed. Many will ask you with the pity in their voices if you don’t feel fine but will switch in the next second to tasks that need to be done.
Be an egoist and RECOVER properly, long-term this is the only possibility to stay healthy and maybe to reach the change you want to see in this society.
What about invisible problems? A croaky voice, ok, but if you have mental illnesses it’s not even visible. You will tell me now that you are happy about that fact but that’s wrong.
I would love to invent something like a face turning pink-striped when having mental health issues not to put the spotlight on that person but to raise awareness of how many people are affected. This taboo needs to be broken and people should be treated properly as if they have a broken leg. It may take longer, yes, but it’s as important as any other illness to be cured!
I seriously don’t want to stamp persons as sick but I am sure that many are not asking for help or are going to get help themselves because this stamp “crazy” is still so active in our society. If you are not visibly ill then what? You have a day where you don’t feel fine, that’s normal. If it’s more than one day, then pull yourself together, it’s easy like that, isn’t it?
No, it isn’t and everyone who thinks it is has luckily never experienced mental health issues!
So please, don’t be shy, don’t be ashamed, don’t feel ‘not normal’ or crazy – there is help out there and please reach for it!
There is slowly a re-thinking on it’s way in our society but it needs people to go out and to show their pink-striped faces, people to say “Yes, I have problems”, people to assure that it is nothing to be afraid of! I promise you, if we really would put stripes in our faces the ones without would even be in the minority.
Another mom post – mmmh – yes and no, I would call it HUMAN but mum influenced.
When you are only responsible for yourself these things like “am I a role model” or “what do others think” seem not to be important at all. OK, for some the second point is their life but let’s go away from those 🙂
What I mean is, I lived my life before I was a mom just the way I wanted to – I never thought of being a good example – I did what I wanted and what I deemed for myself to be correct and that’s it.
Now I see it slightly different because I have to be a good example, especially at the moment with a little parrot toddler.
My child is showing me where I can improve to be a better person on the one hand and on the other I realize that there are many things which I don’t want him to learn as being normal in this world.
It’s funny how wonderful my own childhood is now in my memory. It was wonderful but people tend to remember things brighter as they were. Surely not everything was better and I don’t want to sound like an old grumpy lady stating everything was better in the past because that’s not true but there were VALUES and I start to miss many of them nowadays.
I see children with no respect, running into adults without saying sorry, taking toys for granted and many seem to have no behavior anymore.
I don’t want my son to be that kind of child. He learns that respecting others is important because he wants to be respected as well. He learns that everyone makes mistakes and saying sorry is not a sign of weakness, saying thanks and please is something we live, he learns it as being normal and that’s how I learned it as well when I was a child.
We don’t bury him under the newest toys and gadgets for toddlers because it’s simply not needed. Children are so wonderfully innocent and find always something to play with, I don’t want to take away his curiosity and fantasy because that’s what is so precious in growing up. A simple carton box can be his toy for several days and only he knows what he is playing but if you watch him he’s the happiest little boy on earth.
The new normal is the headline, maybe you realize already what I mean.
I’ve seen a little girl recently which wanted to look like Elsa and I have no idea who Elsa is and had to google it. She’s influenced at the age of not even two by an artificial figure and wants long blond hair and princess dresses “to be also so beautiful”.
A little boy (around 4 to 5 years) is telling his mom in the supermarket that he wants to go home because he is too stressed and wants to relax.
These are only two examples from many many others I could give.
Where is the carefree childhood? Why do girls think they need to look like someone else to be beautiful, why does a boy at the age of four even know the word stressed?
It’s us!
We are the ones who have to give them the carefree childhood they deserve, it’s us who have to protect them from thinking they are not beautiful because they are the most beautiful humans on earth! We need to protect them and give them all the time they need to develop and grow without knowing what the word stress even means.
They need us to assure them day by day that they are perfect the way they are, that they can trust we are there for them whatever may happen, that they are cared for and loved endlessly, this is what they need to build a strong self-confidence, not figures like Elsa or a full calendar at the age of four.
I want to be like daddy, I want to be like mommy – aren’t these the sentences which proof that we are doing our job?
I sit down on the floor and I build castles out of sand, we snuggle and giggle and hide under blankets, we run in a goofy way through the house and can’t stop laughing – these are the memories I want my son to share with his children one day, not that he loved a movie character when he was three and the Chinese teacher (which seems to be a new trend as well) was his best friend at the age of three.
Let’s start a new normal, let’s be the old-fashioned parents who don’t start to park their children in front of the TV, who don’t support this big movie toy/gadget market out there, who choose to be retro if you want to call it like that in a modern way. We don’t have drive cars without seats for our children because we know better than the generation of our parents how dangerous it can be, but we still don’t need the iPad adapter for the back seats because we can sing all children’s songs loud in the car.
I love to go back to the old style with the knowledge from today!
Six years ago I would’ve never pictured my life the way it is now.
Six years ago I planned my first single vacation in Italy
Six years ago I tried to become happy again just on my own and with myself.
Six years ago I was far away from thinking about my own wedding.
Six years ago I was not thinking that a man would step into my life and turn it upside down so quickly.
Six years ago I wasn’t even aware where exactly Libya is on the map (I knew Northern Africa, but that’s all I knew).
Six years ago I wasn’t able to touch my toes easily.
Six years ago I never imagined myself being a yogi.
Six years ago I never thought that I will have my own blog.
Six years ago I tried to get more balance in my life.
Six years ago I wouldn’t have cooked lamb meat.
Six years ago I thought Prada shoes are what I desperately need.
Six years ago my life was completely different.
Six years ago I had not the slightest idea of how wonderful motherhood feels like.
Six years ago I didn’t know that I would have a sweet family of three in a few years.
Six years ago I had no idea where Libya is.
Six years ago I just wanted to put my head under the blanket and wait for better times.
Six years ago I told myself I had to look up again.
Six years ago I thought all doors are closed.
Six years ago I wasn’t able to imagine how loved I will be six years later.
Six years ago are thankful six years ago and there were so so so many lessons learned since then. Life changes and so did I – taking a step back to see where I am today is good. I look back and am thankful, thankful of how it all turned out, thankful of the past, thankful of each single tear, thankful of being strong enough to change what can be changed and thankful that I am today right here, right now.
How was your life six years ago?
Greetings from the past but living and loving the now from misssfaith
Who am I and where am I is maybe the better title.
I am just sitting here in a quiet flat (if you can ignore the washing machine and dryer in the background), my son sleeps and my husband is at work.
It’s Saturday afternoon and I have finally time just for myself.
The whole week was insanely busy – our bathroom is renewed which means that we had workers in the flat EACH day and really EARLY in the morning.
As a home office worker that’s great because you don’t have to leave them unattended, but honestly, no bathroom is a nightmare and strangers in the flat as well.
The whole week I was rushing my son in the morning to the kita, followed by a day of work and answering questions like “where is the heater”, “why wasn’t that done years ago” and “where do you want the towel holder”. When I finished work I rushed back to pick up my son, followed by quick grocery shopping before starting to cook at home (not to mention that each day I had to remove layers of dust which found their way outside of the bathroom within seconds, even in the last corner of the living room we found it.
I am happy that it’s weekend (even if the bathroom isn’t ready as promised) but at least there is time to re-charge.
And while I’m sitting here this question popped up in my mind – who am I?
This week I was only a mom and an employee, barely a wife and just me was almost invisible.
There are seldom days where I’m just me because with a toddler you are a 24/7 mom, but that’s fine, I like it (most of the times) and I wanted exactly this.
I’m a wife too and the combination of me, mom and wife is really great, just recently I have the feeling as if the employee is taking far too much time and I’m hardly able to be the rest.
I am also a yogi, if I’m lucky for half an hour per day, sometimes less and sometimes more.
Whom I’m missing recently are the artist, the jewelry maker, the relaxed and the shopping me, they are hiding themselves somewhere and I need to dig hard to find them I think, but I know that they are there.
Also the reading one seems to got lost along the way, I try so hard but after a few sentences I cannot keep my eyes open on most of the days.
I know that these times change and I know that it is all worth it in the end. I just have to look into the eyes of my son to know that this overflowing pure love is the greatest gift in life, everything else is a plus, an extra, something I will have time for when he’s older.
I also lost some mes along the way and that’s great, I’m happy that I’m not them anymore. That doesn’t mean I didn’t like them, they were wonderful the way they were, they are just not important any more and their time is over. There was the single and the undecided twen, the partying and the what cost’s the world one, the newly hired and the where do I wanna be in 20 years one, the blindly in love and the sad and depressed one, I look back and say thanks to all of them, you made me the person I am today and I won’t miss anyone of you.
Who are you right now? And are you happy with the others vanishing or hiding? Who won’t show up again?
Questions over questions, I’d love to read your stories.
A day in the life of a working mum…without childcare
Let me show you a typical working day with a toddler at home.
8.00 am – 9.30 am – I actually work
9.30 am – the toddler wakes up
Washing him and changing diapers, breastfeeding, carrying him, sitting and rocking , playing, emptying the dishwasher, starting the washing machine, feed him, playing, answering the phone, breastfeed again, dressing him, reading mails in between, answering IMs from colleagues…
…and all of a sudden it’s 11.45 am.
He yawns.
So off to the bed, breastfeeding until he drifts off into sleep.
12.01 pm conference call
12.25 pm – the toddler (who found out recently how to leave the family bed on his own) taps into the room (seriously, only half an hour where I hoped for at least triple that time to get work done).
Breastfeeding number 4 – he still doesn’t want to eat, I tried.
I shift clothes from the washing machine into the dryer, make soap bubbles to entertain my son and try to answer some emails in between.
12.45 pm – I feel like a cow as he’s sitting on my lap latched again – number 5 for today and no end in sight. I truly love it but when you work you wish that he just eats his bread, yogurt, fruit, instead of occupying me every minute of the day (although he has the right for sure).
1.00 pm – my husband is home so that I can finally work properly at least for a while.
1.30 pm – I cooked pasta for my son with the end result that he ate exactly two while I ate the salad from yesterday evening.
It’s now 2.00 pm – I have a conference call soon that needs preparation (at 3.30 pm) and my lovely toddler sits on the floor beside me, makes noises with a paper box and yawns.
At least I can answer emails again – the sound would have disturbed me a year ago but hey, you’re getting used to focus even when it’s completely noisy around you.
2:30 pm – he ate a few bites of bread and the last was spit well chewed on the floor, and not on the wooden part, no, on the carpet so that I need to clean it with more efforts than on the wooden floor. Still no sign of being ready to sleep, I know after 14 months when it makes sense to lay down with him and when not. In his current mood we would spend an hour in the bed and he wouldn’t sleep so I let him play with the hope that he is soon really tired.
3.00 pm – less than 30 min left until my conference call and my toddler isn’t tired at all – the only option will be that he stays with his dad.
3:29 pm and he’s ‘talking’ loudly with his dad in the bedroom – I have a toddler resistant to sleep on some days. He will sleep, exactly then when we would like to go outside and do some grocery shopping.
Just happy that it’s Friday and this work week is almost over.
4.00 pm – he seems to sleep as I don’t hear anything but I can’t check as I need to jump from one conference call into the next, fortunately the last for today.
For this call I only need to listen so I can start to think about what to cook for dinner today and what we need to buy before shops are closing.
5.30 pm – I’m stuck in that call longer than expected and meanwhile all are awake again so I’m sitting on my desk with a muted headset, my son is running around and wondering what mommy is doing, breastfeeding number 6 for today (I’m not sure if I missed some already as it’s so normal these days) and I’m annoyed because I would give everything to just throw the laptop and enjoy the time with my family. But this job is paying lots what we love in our life and quitting is not an option, besides it is a great job at many times but just now I wish I would be a millionaire not caring for such things as conference calls.
Am I the only one or are other working moms also feel guilty not to be there 100% for their children. I’m apologizing so often to him although he won’t understand a word I’m saying that I still need to do this or that before we can play.
It’ll be past 6.00 pm when I finally am off work and then the private stress will start – what do we really need today, is there something that can’t wait until tomorrow? Cooking dinner is hanging like the Damocles sword above me because I long to have a bit time for NOTHING. No thinking, no you need to, you have to, have you already or when will you – just a quiet hour to recharge but that won’t happen until my son sleeps which recently is rarely before midnight.
I send this post now, unfinished, as the rest of the day until I will fall into my bed (or better until I try to go to my side of the bed without waking him up) I won’t find the time anymore. If I don’t send it now it may sit in my drafts for the next weeks.
That’s motherhood, a day of a working mom without childcare, a crazy day with a toddler, that’s my life and even if it is often beyond exhausting I would NEVER EVER change it back.
Stay strong – we are strong!
And stay away of the thought to be perfect, nobody needs to be perfect! My messy hair will be in a bun in 5 minutes to leave the house and if you look around then you will see many imperfections, so no worries. Most important now is a happy toddler and that’s why I’m off into the weekend now. Bye
