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If religion seems to be a must

If religion seems to be a must

If religion seems to be a must

Which religion do you have?
I can say confidently “none”, as it is the truth.


How is that? Don’t most of us have a religion by birth?
Yes, probably many have. I had one as well but I have chosen the non-religious way.
And non-religious doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in something.
There will always be this “how to be good” thing within me.
There are times when I have the feeling as if I’m devilish, as if the devil is within me, just because I’m not written to religion.
True, my passport doesn’t contain that I am a Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist or whatever religion we may have on this world. And?


Am I a less valued person because of that?
I never killed, I never cheated on someone, I never have stolen something, isn’t that proof enough that I’m not the devil?
The struggle for me is that I will find something good in each and every religion on this world and that I will on the other hand find many bad things also in each and every religion on this
world. So what would be the correct answer?

I’m a Christian but I don’t like the institutional church, I’m a muslim but I don’t like the pressure to pray five times per day or the women suppression in some countries, I’m a Jew but I don’t like to eat kosher or I’m a Buddhist but love to eat beef?


To be religious you’re supposed to have one religion, that’s my problem.
I haven’t found the ONE religion yet and I’m not searching actually for the ONE.
Okay, you should never say never, I agree on that. Maybe one day my eyes will light up and then there is the one religion for me and I know exactly this is my thing.

But honestly, up to the day, if it may ever happen, who knows, I will stay like I am.
Wouldn’t that be a big lie, even worse than that, in a religious meaning, to say now I’m a Christian although I’m not totally convinced and I’m not standing 100% behind it?
When I was a baby I got the christening which means I’m Christian because I got it but that wasn’t my choice. I grew older and I have chosen not to be a Christian anymore, I have chosen not to pay for an institution which is from my point of view not what I expect.

I truly believe in so many things, just see my name “faith”, I believe in faith, I truly believe that there is something called destiny, things that are meant to be, I believe in trust, in honesty, I vowed to my husband that I will be there for him in good times and in bad times, I can say sorry if I know I did something wrong, I am thankful for the life I have, thankful for the people surrounding me, I believe in hope and sometimes in little wonders, isn’t that enough?
And yes, I’m against so many things, there shouldn’t be hate and war and people killing each other, but all this does not count as religion.
Do I not have the right to find my own path, my own way of life? As long as I am not harming anyone I think I have this right!
I believe in love!!!

Why this topic? I can explain it to you.
I’m married and my husband is a Muslim. This is not a problem at all for me or for him. As long as we love each other there is no need to fight about something. He lives his religion and it is going along perfectly with my way of living. We made some compromises like no pork in the fridge, no alcohol in our flat and so on. Why do authorities think they have the right to interfere? After the wedding we’ve got our German family book. So the next thing to apply for was the Libyan family book. And here we go where the struggle starts.
To accept me as his wife they want the certificate of my religion. I’m honestly angry, i’m legally his wife, I carry his name and they start to treat me as if I am nothing.
The story has not yet an end, let’s see how we will manage it.

Meanwhile the story had an end – they accepted my christening certificate, that seemed to be sufficient. If that’s correct stands on a different paper.

Bein stamped doesn’t make any sense for me at all, especially not when you look back in history or just open your eyes in the now. Crimes in the name of a religion. It will never be the religion itself but the people who interpret as they wish. The people who stamp themselves as belonging to a religion although from my perspective they aren’t religious, they abuse the religion for their evil and cruel actions.

I don’t want to get a stamp rather than human, because that’s what I am.

Being religious vs being spiritual – I choose spiritual as it feels more like me.

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How to be a real and true friend

How to be a real and true friendWhat are the most important things in real friendship and how can friendships last?
Many pretend to have hundreds of friends but are these real ones?
I cannot believe it as from my point of view a friendship is a relationship growing over the years and we have to “work” on it. Trust is one of the basics as is honesty. We all haven’t just happy days and the phrase “in good and in bad times” is not only valid for marriage. Real friends are the ones who smile and laugh with you and not about you and who are not ashamed of sharing tears with you when times are not good. They share their last piece of bread and invite you for dinner when you ran out of money or food.
But only taking is no friendship, you have to act the same way.
We are living in a stressful world and what I appreciate about my real friends is that regardless of when we had the last meeting or phone call we stay friends – it’s like having spoken the day before even if it were two or three months and nobody is angry as we understand that all of us have enough to do and are sometimes just too tired to pick up the phone and dial a number.
When meeting friends face to face focus on them, you scheduled a date to have them around you so the worst you can do is focussing on something else or talking only about yourself. If you want to be friends you have to be one yourself.
Selfish or not interested persons are the ones without real friends at the end because no one can bare to be put in the background on every occasion.
Sure there are times when one or the other has more to talk about and it’s normally regulated by life but as soon as you realize that the topics are always about others and never about what you experience, feel or go through it’s time to think it over.
Either you are able to discuss it honestly and maybe the other person just didn’t realize and promises to change and be more attentive or it’s time to say goodbye.
I said goodbye last year to a few and after almost one year without them I can say, I don’t miss anyone. Even better, I’m truly happy to have no contact any longer because there are so-called friends who can eat you up and suck your energy. These are the ones to kick out as soon as you realize as they don’t do any good thing in your life, they just live in their little world and suggest themselves as the key of the universe.
Going seriously to your list of friends and decide who is worth to move forward with and who not is a great thing. Free yourself from negative persons and surround yourself with the true and real ones.
I rather end up with just a few real friends instead of having many fake ones!

Keep the faith, Miss Faith!

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Do I have to explain my life?

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Do I have to explain my life?
I recently asked me this question as I found myself in the situation of always explains that it’s not like that, that it’s different, that it’s not as they think…
What was it about. It was because I met my fiancé who’s not German. Even worse, he’s also not fitting into the European picture as he’s from the unknown continent Africa. Mystical stories about people there are in the heads of the common German or even in the heads of the common European. And for my story it’s even worse. Not only that he’s not European, he’s also a Muslim. All cliches existent, you can be sure I heard them already.
Where is he from? From Libya. Oh god, you will soon be sitting completely covered on a camel in the desert. Yes, that was exactly what I planned for my life was my answer. You can only reply in a sarcastic way to stupid comments like this.
But what I realized in myself was that each time I was asked about him I was already answering in a defensive way. Yes, he’s from Libya but he doesn’t want to marry me for a residence permit. Yes, he’s Muslim, but he’s open minded and it’s ok for him that I’m not religious at all. Yes, he has a big family in Libya but they will not influence him not to marry a non-muslim.
I saw myself acting like this and questioned myself. Why am I answering like this? Am I thinking the same way, are these my hidden fears? Definitely no. We talked hours over hours and are both completely aware that we led different lives up to now. I’m living on my own since years and was raised so freely. He was always close to his family and surrounded by them. As long as you are unmarried it’s normal to stay with your family whereas for me it was normal to leave when earning the first own money and to start a life on your own. Religion plays a big role in his life, which is even bigger as we are at the moment within the holy month of Ramadan. Whereas for me religion was present in an easy way from childhood into the teenage years and as adult I decided that Christianity is not my path and I signed out officially. So I am without any religion at all.
But, and this is what we realized very quickly, even if it seems so different from an outside position, we are not too different. My family is so close to me. We are not living together, not even in the same city, but if we don’t hear from each other like we are used to we feel incomplete. There are never more than two days without contact and news or changes or questions are discussed with my family before anyone else will know. And for the religious part, even if I don’t have one it doesn’t mean I’m unbelieving. I have values in my life, which I’m believing in, most of them already taught by my parents, who still are Christians, but I see them as values of life itself. Being honest, truthful, good to others, not cheating, not stealing, not lying, never harm anyone, don’t kill, don’t do something to others which you never want for yourself, and, and, and…
These are common values in life which also exist in each religion.
He met me like this, I found so many good things in different religions but I also found parts in them, where I cannot say that I agree on them. What I try is to live in the most valuable way I’m able too and to find inner peace with myself. Wherever this way leads to, I will see. And he is completely with me as he knows that I’m not worse than one with an official religion. You will find good and bad people everywhere, this is no proof.
He is him and me is me and we are happy that we found each other – so more more explanations why, how, when and where!
Maybe I write some day sitting on a camel, who knows…