Real-Life Thoughts Of a Working Mom

Real-Life Thoughts Of a Working Mom

Travelling for work sounds fancy – but this is the real-life part of it.

It’s 4 am – I’m freezing and beyond tired.

Sitting on a  Canadian air plane with hot black tea, as I needed something warm, and a bag of pretzels in front of me.

Thoughts are shifting from the purpose of life to let me finally sleep and back. 

This life is crazy.

The full moon is following us all the way from Toronto to Raleigh, it’s shining brightly and is bigger than last time.

Somehow the moon is always earthing me, bringing me down to what really counts.

Being alone here isn’t it. I miss my family and try to shift the thought from missing to being thankful that I am loved. 

fly me to the moon

It will be a firework of kisses and hugs when I return. How lucky am I?

That’s the essence, the purest kind of life purposes, family hugs, wet toddler kisses, husband hugs that feel like safe haven, unity.

I’m almost 20 hours awake now and after so many hours of travelling the only important thought is about my two men, snuggled up home deeply sleeping in our bed. 

This is the second time that I travel alone since our son is born. I miss him like crazy, his tiny little hand searching for me in the night to sleep, assured that he’s safe. His hugs so tight and so full of love around my neck.

That is all that matters, he, my husband, my family. I needs sometimes a full moon night all alone to remember what is known deep inside. We forget too offen because daily life occupies and stresses us too much. 

All the small wonderful moments, nothing more is needed to be happy.

Being so far away is somehow scary, as a mom you not only start to feel a love beyond imagination, you also start to worry in a way you never thought about. 

Many of the worries are like an instinct and naturally good, they serve you and don’t disturb. But there are also worries which my husband would call ridiculous. Moms “What ifs” like “what if he falls and I cannot hug him and kiss the pain away as I always do?”. Yes, that one is maybe ridiculous because I know that  his dad can take care, I know that I cannot protect him his entire life, I know he will handle it without me, but was someone ever thinking about me?

I want to be there, I am not ready to let go, I feel the pain deeper than anything as he’s the most important part of me. Oh my, did I write that?

Am I now a ridiculous helicopter mom?

No, I’m not and I can tell you why.

Because I am sitting on a plane on the other of the globe, I left him alone with my husband and I know that this is more than fine. Rational I know all of it! I let him discover the world and am not overprotective, even if I would like to be.

But emotionally, mentally, this is the hardest part of motherhood, letting go.

I put the pretzels in my bag. I guess my suitcase will be full of tiny things for him because he likes them. Apart from that, it’s 4:30 am – who eats pretzels at this time?

Ok, it’s 10:30 pm over here but I have mentally not arrived in this time zone. I could sleep standing now.

We prepare for landing and the thing what I want most now is rush as fast as I can to the hotel, jump into the bed and fall asleep thinking of how safe and sound he sleeps next to my husband. 

As long as you are working, the missing subsides a tiny bit…

Its 3 pm – four days later. Bright daylight and with short sleeves on the plane to Toronto. You can’t believe how good that feels. These past days were great, tired, new, exhausted, successful, and so much more. I worked more than on normal days but staying in a hotel and evenings in restaurants also meant I had less to do after work than on normal days at home. No cooking, washing, cleaning. Many pros and cons, at the end, the cons definitely are more because everything I see while travelling is only my memory and especially when I discover new areas I want to share these memories. I want to tell my husband “do you remember that humid warm evening where we went to the Angus Barn in Durham and had a delicious steak?”. I want to ask my son if he liked all those big trucks on the street which are much bigger than what we see at home.

I can’t. I can try to capture as much as I want on photographs but at the end of the day it will only be my memory.

There is still a long flight ahead of me and many thoughts to come and words to write but for now I just stare out of the window, let my eyes be blinded by the white clouds we fly through, and dream away so that my soul rests. I’m getting closer to home, the place where my heart beats faster and feels more at ease, surrounded by my family and hugged and kissed. Soon.

It’s 11pm and we just departed – that’s 5am in Germany already and means we will surely not arrive as planned.

First we were getting a one-hour delay due to bad weather conditions, which I personally love so much. The incoming plane wasn’t allowed to land on time because of heavy rain. Great! And I’m sitting at the airport and wonder if we are allowed to start once the plane is there or if these weather conditions influence our start as well. I already thought about a bumpy ride back. 

But – because of late arrival – our plane got an outside parking position to be fast ready to go (instead of waiting for a free gate). Sounds good, right? Our plane also got covered stairs for us! They care that we are not getting wet on the way from the shuttle to the plane, wohoo. Another plus!

Did I say stairs? I’d rather become wet instead after what happened then. It took the ground staff in Toronto over an hour to get exactly these stairs DEtached. It sounds like a joke but that really happened.

Means we are now in total 3 hours behind and I hate it. 

But why do I hate it? 

I could list several reasons why. I’m tired and hungry, it will take three more hours until I’m finally back home, this week was already long enough, all these things are annoying.

But, what if all of this happened for a reason?

What if we would have ended up in a thunderstorm when departing on time, what if?

There are a million things in life where we won’t be able to find answers, to know why it happened exactly the way it does. But what we know is what is now. Now I am sitting on a plane. I am fine, food will come soon and then I can sleep.  When I wake up I will be much closer to my loved ones. All is fine!

Trust and focus on the good and all is fine. 

The end of the story are indeed hugs and kisses. A tired mom who plays for hours, trying to catch up on the missed time, lots of stories to tell and a warm feeling inside of me to be where I belong. Looking back you may even say that all these thoughts were not necessary, but no, they were. And they will always be, because they are me, all of this is me. Reflecting, thinking, dreaming, listening, hoping, discovering, and so much more is within these thoughts that I will never stop cherishing these full-moon nights, these lonely moments where you are grounded even in a plane across an ocean. This is life.

If you want to read more from me – just jump into my archive and see what post it guides you to. Life is about trust, maybe you pick exactly what you need at this time.

Thoughts On how to Behave during a Pandemic

Thoughts On how to Behave during a Pandemic from a Yoga Teacher

Thoughts On how to Behave during a Pandemic

from a Yoga Teacher

A pandemic hits everyone, yogi or not, and all of us will have a different opinion on how to behave. I’m not questioning that and I will not judge it (which is even the first point to consider).

Judging

Judging – who are we to judge? It won’t be easy not to judge, I know. It will bring us to our limits, I know. But if everyone would start with this single approach we would live more peaceful than we do right now.

Besides, this is one of the fundamental lessons in yoga. We take others as they are. You can and should be a role model but you should not judge others. Everyone walks through life and some see more obstacles along the way than others, that doesn’t make them a good or a bad human being.

Is there an influence?

I wrote “my Yoga thought”, but to understand where I come from you need to know that I’m a project manager in clinical research for a living, so both, Yoga and clinical research, play into my thinking. This is an influence I cannot deny.

And that’s the second important point. Everyone is having influences which play into our thoughts. This non-attachment is almost impossible. In yoga we talk about Aparigraha, the last Yama of Patanjali’s Eight Limbs of Yoga. Yamas are moral guidelines by which we should live with regard to our relationship with ourselves, and with the world around us. Even if I would like to step back and tell myself to think not like a project manager, my subconscious will tell me something else. So before I build my opinion I step back and put light on a thought from different angles, try to see it from the other side, try to understand where others are coming from and why people build the opinions they share.

But what about facts?

What is not deniable are facts, this is what I thought until people came along with a huge portion of mistrust. Fake data, fake news, fake here and fake there. Humans are not perfect and we all make mistakes, which is great as we learn from mistakes. It is not so great if our mistakes and doubts have an affect on others.

I still believe in facts.

Maybe I judge these facts different as someone who had his whole life nothing to do with research, but either way, a fact is a fact until proofed wrong, right?

Why do people doubt and deny facts? I guess this is the point I will never fully figure out but on my search for understanding I learned that it’s often based on their very unique personal experiences. Which is a valid reason but which is also dangerous because trying to convince someone of an opinion which may do harm in the end is simply dangerous.

Fake News

Fake news – I get it, we are small figures when it comes to politics, but where is our own logic? News may not be 100 percent correct and may try to lead us in a direction which is good for the economy, politics, higher management reasons we don’t even know, but how can I deny the pandemic state? These pictures of patients in the ICU, coffins transported away from hospitals, nurses and doctors who explain how their current work day looks like, these are facts.

I would even go ahead and call it disrespectful to deny the fact that people are dying. And there is no matter how old they are, because this is often another “argument”.

They are all old. Really?

That’s not true, and honestly, even if, do we close our eyes because the people dying are old? They could be your grandparents, parents, siblings, relatives. You really don’t care? Then the problem is deeper than you imagine.

Empathy

Non-empathy is classified as a mental disorder on the ICD-10 of mental and behavioural disorders, which means nothing else than these people have a mental illness they should work on. And that’s sad, sad that they experienced something in their life which leads them to this disorder, but it is not an excuse to harm others. We all have an individual responsibility to at least not harm others. Even if you think that you only harm yourself, that is not true. You have people around you who care and if something happens to you they will be harmed as well. We are all not alone in this life. People can argue they have nobody. Who knows if you don’t harm the people who need to look at you when you are gone? Who need to treat you when you are ill and who take stories of their patients home because they have empathy with every human being?

Helping each other, being there when someone needs you, supporting one another, all of this is what we need in a state of a pandemic. Criticism and negativity won’t help anyone.

Kindness

What do you think will succeed in the long run? I’m sure it will be kindness. Something everyone can give, you don’t need a full bank account, a big house or a fast car to be kind.

A random act of kindness lights up the day for everyone and it costs you nothing at all!

There was a really old women in the drugstore, she had problems reading with her mask on – offer help. She was so grateful and I am sure I lighted up her day a bit. Someone in front of you isn’t fast enough packing up the bought items? Be patient, it won’t take more than five minutes. Why should you ruin this persons mood and your own for this? The homeless sitting outside in winter, is there an old coat you don’t need anymore? Instead of keeping it in your wardrobe just simply do something good and give it to those in need.

Patience

Patience is a virtue, but one you can learn. We have to spend more time at home these days, why not spending them with some learning – wasn’t there something you ever wanted to learn, to read or to write? A new language, an instrument, drawing – there are so many possibilities and many of them teach us patience. No book has been written in a day or two, colour needs time to dry, the sound of music is echoing longer than we think. I like to change things always to the positive and indeed, it is not easy, but it works.

Conclusion?

My conclusion is that we all should act with more kindness and patience and I truly believe the world would be in general a better place, not only during a pandemic. Especially now we should all take a step back before we act. Many of us are stressed and if you are stressed it’s harder to reflect. We live now, this now is not easy, that’s a fact. This now is complicated in many areas but isn’t that a chance for all of us to become better persons? This Now is all we have and nobody knows what tomorrow bring, so if we would change to live more in the present moment we would start to understand that we are able to bring lots of joy in our life, even in lockdowns. I hear often that everyone lacks time. Just remember – you had time to go shopping, to meet for lunch, to do sports, to hang out with friends, alone the time you have now because you cannot do it as you are used to. Use it wisely, call friends and ask if they are ok, write letters, start a journal. If you write down your thoughts they are off your mind and give space, that’s a wonderful side effect of writing.

I just would hope that human beings start to live with more empathy and more kindness.

Ram Dass once said:

We are all just walking each other home. – Ram Dass

Let this be our theme for the future.

Don’t let Doubt be your Friend!

Don’t let Doubt be your Friend!

One of the lessons learned and believe me, this wasn’t an easy one.

It is natural I guess – throughout or life we are doubting… if we are on the right path, doing the right thing, meeting the right people … this is needed as check or ourselves. We build up confidence like that as well.

Doubt becomes a problem when we doubt more than being sure we did something right.

When I write don’t let doubt be your friend I don’t mean it should be your enemy, you will need it, until the end of your life, like a person you meet once in a while but not regularly. Like this person you know your whole life which tells you after a couple of years that you look great, that you changed your style and it suits you, that you were always adored for your skills in whatever, you get what I mean I hope. This person can also tell you that the old car was better than the new you have chosen, but in the end you are driving that car and you need to be feeling good in it.

What are you doing with the car for instance? You may reconsider changing it back because this person had some proper arguments, or you stop thinking about it because it was well thought over in first place?

Doubt is ALWAYS just an adjuster or a confirmer, it is rarely a complete changer but more a lesson learned.

But what if you think you are doing the right thing and all of a sudden Mr. Doubt shows up regularly? He considers himself your new friend and crawls into your life. He is telling you his opinion whenever he can and it’s always the opposite of what you were considering to be right. He starts to drain your energy because it is not easy to be criticized for every step you make. And it’s wrong!

Many may have this colleague who’s acting like that, or even a boss.

Believe me, a good colleague or a well-trained manager would NEVER make you doubt everything. they would make you aware if something isn’t going to the right direction and offer advise, training or help to fix it.

I doubted – too much, so much that I fell exhausted into my bed in the evening because I felt NOT ENOUGH. From the depth of my heart I knew that I did the right thing(s). I even knew it because I got feedback from many others but that one stupid Mr. Doubt was so present and so nagging with his comments that I started to doubt – more and more.

He stepped into my life as if he was an old friend but that’s not true. I knew him and I met him once in a while but I never considered him to be one of my close friends. The opposite, I was always happy when he disappeared and his permanent presence made me feel not good at all, not sufficient and not enough.

I had to learn this and especially I had to learn to tell him STOP!

Stop for the sake of my health – mentally and physically. Once this step was done it felt better because I gained my worth back. My knowledge that has been built up over the years could not be completely wrong as Mr. Doubt tried to make me believe. I was able again to hold my head up high and face him and tell him that he will not succeed in breaking me, because this is what he wanted as my “friend”.

Doubt is like a toxic person

We all know them and we all know that we should keep them very distanced as they otherwise would start to influence our life (and not in a good way).

Almost a year later I am sitting here typing, my stomach still hurts and seems twisted from time to time which is a reminder of what I went through. I’m not complaining because in the end I know who I am and what I am worth! In the end Mr. Doubt and his companions are the poor ones. They will never be happy in their life because as long as you are constantly criticizing others you ignore your own problems which probably are more intense than I can imagine them to be.

We are all human beings, we are all not perfect and that is perfectly fine!

We are supposed to make mistakes to learn and grow. We are exactly where we should be and if someone makes you start to doubt be careful. We can support, we can share experiences, we can give a helping hand, but if we start to put ourselves higher and make others doubting their worth we are the problem, not the other persons!

The struggle to accept and realize that not everyone is my friend even though they pretend to be was long and intense and I don’t want to go through it once again. But truly, I am more mindful and focused than ever before. I’m thankful to know that not I was the problem but others.

If you read my blog before you have an idea of how I think and in this case I could be mad, I could start to hate persons who tried to harm me but that’s not me.

Karma will catch them sooner or later!

I don’t want to poison my thoughts with hatred, I don’t want to invite negativity to my life and I don’t want to hate. To focus on what’s positive in all this is much more rewarding and makes me happier than giving attention to the bad. It doesn’t mean that I ignore, no, I acknowledge, analyse, take my lesson out and then put it aside as it no longer serves me.

I truly hope that whenever you doubt you don’t let these thoughts taking over the reigns – they won’t guide you in a good way. Doubt is not supposed to be permanently present but occasionally only.

Always tell yourself that you are doing the best you can at that time in your life and you are learning along the way. At every second you are where you are supposed to be as the best version of you.

You are worth to kick Mr. Doubt out if he starts to approach you more than you can take. It’s your life!

Stay strong and never doubt the wholeness of your being!

One month is gone

One month is gone already – it’s February!

We are getting closer to the renewal time of spring. How lovely is alone this thought.

Are you also tired of winter?

In general I like winter, if it would be the winter we all dream of. Snowy landscapes, cosy homes, steaming tea cups, children building a snowman…

The problem is that my winter doesn’t look like that. Whenever we would have time for these real snow days there is no more snow but grey mud or even worse just rain.

The first time my son was on his new slide was the last so far because since then there either was no snow or in the snow regions it was so much that they called out the emergency status. That means we have a new slide, a new snow suit, even wonderful warm boots but no snow.

The same goes for the snowman. As wonderful as a winter could be, this winter wasn’t showing up like we wished (at least not in Munich).

Others may say now that this isn’t entirely true, and they are right. The winter for us wasn’t like we wished for. We work from Monday to Friday and only the weekend is the time where we could fully enjoy the winter-wonderland. If we would have had time throughout the week our feeling towards this winter would be different.

As always in life it’s the personal perception.

I’m not complaining, we are fine, we won’t break into tears because of these missed snowportunities 🙂

The interesting part is indeed how different we all see things.

My husband is Libyan, for him everything under 0°C is too cold to go outside unless you have to. For me, I like the warm days more but it’s OK if it’s cold. I learned there is no wrong weather, there are only wrong clothes, that’s the way to handle the weather in Germany. And our son? With almost three years he is simply exploring the world. If it’s cold or warm, dry or wet, lighted up or dark, he will always find something on every single day that is interesting.

January

We started into this year with a month full of snow, rain, grey days and a bit of winter sun. The first half of January was a re-adjusting at work for me. Even if the break between Christmas and the new year is just a couple of days it seems as everyone is starting new and not too stressed into another year. The second half took the speed up again and currently I ask myself how to survive a full year with this level of stress.

What comes next?

The simple answer would be February.

I know that my work life will change a bit in the next months as projects are closed and new are starting. I hope there will be more time again to focus on my development, professional as well as private.

As days start to be longer again we will wait patiently for the spring to spend more and more time outside. The lack of sunshine is draining the last depots. Even better to have the possibility to plan a short vacation before the long summer vacation this year.

Travelling with a toddler is not pure relaxation but indeed a wonderful experience. We plan another flight with him in March and look already forward to new discoveries.

Apart from that I guess the only plan is to enjoy more and worry less.

People tend to be stressed 24/7

Going back to what really counts in life is one of the keys to happiness. Our jobs are eating lots of time and if we don’t work we worry about work. That’s not how it’s supposed to be. Once you are out of the office you should start to enjoy your private leisure time. Somehow many forgot how it works.

We don’t live to work until we die. The purpose in life should be greater and bigger than heading to work and be a good employee, employer, boss, manager, consultant, sales assistant, truck driver, whatever you work. Where are the happy men and women, mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, wives and husbands, cousins, artists, dancers, hippies, all these who don’t have places in their work?

At work I am a manager but the rest of my life I am a woman, a mom, a wife, a yogi, a painter, a cook, an artist, a writer, a blogger, a psychologist, a healer and so much more. I need this work-free time to be happy in everything else that I’m here for and being stressed because of my job should not have a place there. Not I, neither my husband nor my son deserve to be surrounded by a stressed person.

We need to let go

It’s hard to let go and just be. I know because I’m not good at it but I try. I will never stop trying to let go as it is one important part for my own sanity.

One month is already gone. Eleven more will follow until we reach 2020 and what do we want to remember? The sleepless nights of worry, the break-downs of being over-worked, the mistakes we made?

No, we want to remember the lessons learned, the laughter, the love that surrounded us. We want to remember the good time which was more than the bad time. To reach this we have to let go and that means to shift our focus. At work my focus is on my work but as soon as I shut down my laptop and turn off my phone the focus is on me and my family – that’s where it belongs to.

I wish you all a shift of your own personal focus. Let go of what isn’t needed at all and minimize the stress as best as you can.

Months are passing by so fast – we need to cherish the time we have!

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Why being an egoist isn’t always bad

Nobody will tell you to take care of yourself!
Your life – your responsibility

Why being an egoist isn’t always bad

We are growing up learning to take care of one another and to share, which in general is great, but what nobody is telling us along the way is that we will face times where nobody will take care of you.

We should not act egoistic, being an egoist is bad – we are bad if we are an egoist. While I partly agree, because I’d love to see non-egoists everywhere, I partly disagree quite strong.

To put myself behind is something which is valuable in many ways, if I stand up for elder persons and offer them my seat for instance. I can start and collect many examples why it’s good to think about others. The main problem is that it will not work out 100% because nobody is perfect and social and caring like I would like them to be.

To be a caring person is wonderful as long as it’s not affecting my own sanity and here the egoist has to step in.

Only if I take care about myself, if I give myself enough time to rest, to recover, to grow, to meditate, to move, to think, to whatever makes you feel good – only then I have the strength to be there when others need me. Center yourself exactly where you are!

We are often truly exchangeable – which is not nice but sadly the reality.

If I just think about work-life, be it my own or everyone else’s, every single one of us can be exchanged within the blink of an eye. The world isn’t stopping just because I’m not there anymore. Even if many think that they are very important especially in their professional life, I can assure you, YOU ARE NOT!

A waitress is kicked out and the next is starting right away, of course that can work, you think if you are the vice president of a large traditional family business and nobody can replace you? From whom did you take over? There will always be someone coming after and that’s life, nothing is permanent.

Knowing this and knowing that I can only be the best version of myself if I take care of myself taught me to step back if I need to. I worked through many “just a small” colds instead of going on sick leave and recover properly before being back at work. NOBODY will say thanks for that and that’s good because only then you learn what’s important.

No work is more important than my health. Only if I’m healthy I can work.

So here we are – if I answer the phone with a croaky voice being obviously not healthy not many will ask you to go to the doctor and stay in bed. Many will ask you with the pity in their voices if you don’t feel fine but will switch in the next second to tasks that need to be done.

Be an egoist and RECOVER properly, long-term this is the only possibility to stay healthy and maybe to reach the change you want to see in this society.

What about invisible problems? A croaky voice, ok, but if you have mental illnesses it’s not even visible. You will tell me now that you are happy about that fact but that’s wrong.

I would love to invent something like a face turning pink-striped when having mental health issues not to put the spotlight on that person but to raise awareness of how many people are affected. This taboo needs to be broken and people should be treated properly as if they have a broken leg. It may take longer, yes, but it’s as important as any other illness to be cured!

I seriously don’t want to stamp persons as sick but I am sure that many are not asking for help or are going to get help themselves because this stamp “crazy” is still so active in our society. If you are not visibly ill then what? You have a day where you don’t feel fine, that’s normal. If it’s more than one day, then pull yourself together, it’s easy like that, isn’t it?

No, it isn’t and everyone who thinks it is has luckily never experienced mental health issues!

So please, don’t be shy, don’t be ashamed, don’t feel ‘not normal’ or crazy – there is help out there and please reach for it!

There is slowly a re-thinking on it’s way in our society but it needs people to go out and to show their pink-striped faces, people to say “Yes, I have problems”, people to assure that it is nothing to be afraid of! I promise you, if we really would put stripes in our faces the ones without would even be in the minority.

To reach a change we need to start.

Be the change you want to see…

Be an egoist and take care of yourself!!!

(Because nothing is permanent 🙂 )

Center Yourself exactly where you are…

Center Yourself exactly where you are…

That’s your starting point – being aware of where you are right now is the most important to start moving.

If you want to go into the Yoga tree you need to make sure you know the floor you are standing on. Is it uneven, do you stumble, are there stones, is it possible to slip? Only when you know where you stand you can lift up one leg and still stand steady.

The very same counts for everything in your life – only when we are fully aware of the NOW we are confident to step forward.

Center yourself, listen, feel, breathe – all that you are right now is important. This brings you not only mindfully into the present, it grounds you and makes you completely aware of what you need right now.

If I know where I am I can start going without being afraid to get lost – I will find my way back if needed. But if I’m lost I may not find what I’m looking for because I have no idea where to head to. This may be fine, we all know that often out of these lost times something great emerges. BUT to grasp the greatness that approaches I need to see it. Most probably I won’t realize what’s in front of me when I am not centered and grounded.

When we want to drive somewhere with our car we need to make sure each time that we have fuel and that we have the keys to ignite the engine – without we won’t go anywhere.

When we wake up in the morning we need to ignite our life flame. What are we burning for, do we have enough energy (fuel) for what we want to reach? These questions are important to stay sane.

In my lowest low period I may not start to move mountains but I may be creative and work in silence. On my highest high I may be overflowing with energy and may not bundle it to quiet my mind for something that needs lots of concentration but I may be able to physically work on something, flow through a powerful day or lift other up in being full of positivity.

We have all in us, from the lowest low to the highest high and so many stages in between that we need to adjust.

If we try to go against the nature of our being we will long-term ruin ourselves. That’s why it’s important to check on ourselves and even if our day starts powerful we may slip into a low throughout the day, then take a moment and re-adjust.

The power of mindfulness is so so so damn important if we want to stay healthy and sane! We are workers and doers, we are mothers and fathers, wives and husbands, cleaners and cooks, drivers and guides. We are so much and nobody will tell you to take a minute and listen into yourself while doing all those tasks day in and day out.

We are responsible to be mindful with our life, with our body and soul. We need to listen and accept, the accepting part is often the hardest. We listen, and we know it’s time to stop. But we often ignore this inner voice and risk our well-being instead of adjusting to what we are right here and right now.

Self-care! At the end of the day it’s our own responsibility to take care of ourselves. In low and in high times, in happiness and in sadness, all these times are important; only if we embrace the low and trust that we will be fine again we will be able to embrace the high.

There is no always happy life and even if it seems sometimes so from an outside position we need to trust that all that happens is important. We only grow, and we even grow more during the low times than during the high ones. Many creative minds worked on their masterpieces while being deeply sad or broken – this doesn’t mean that we need to like these times, but we need to love ourselves even more then.

Only if we accept that we are all, all the emotions and feelings that run through us, only then we will be able to create a life we want to live. And even then we will have times where we would like to bury our heads under the blanket and that’s OK! That’s what life is all about – learning, feeling, growing, loving, enjoying, crying, teaching, sharing. Take all and embrace the whole.

Center Yourself exactly where you are…

…because you are worth it, you are deserving it and you are in charge of your life. Take care!

Every year we start again…

Every year we start again…

…and write down new year’s resolutions, we think what we could do better than last year, what we could change, what was good and what wasn’t a masterpiece at all.

And every year I am wondering why we are doing it…

I never set new years resolutions for myself – the typical ones are to eat less sweets, stop smoking, loosing weight, etc. and I have seen to often that all those weren’t met anyway.

Are we too weak or do people just set the wrong goals? I believe it’s the later.

When I want to reach a goal it doesn’t matter if I write it down on 31st Dec or on any other day. If I want it desperately then I will work on it.

If I don’t want it desperately, then no date will help me to reach it and that’s why so many great resolutions never become real.

Why don’t we change this habit to reflect each day on where we are and what we want. This is a routine with more depth than a once-per-year kind of deep thought. I take a certain time just for myself and reflect the past 24 hours.

  • Am I happy?
  • What was good today?
  • What was not so could and how can I change it?
  • What’s my plan for the next days?
  • Do I need something that can help me?
  • Am I treating myself with love?

There are so many questions I can ask myself at the end of the day or in the morning of a new day – these are just a few examples.

Life is complicated enough so we should not start to make it more complicated with setting goals we are not able to reach, this is just frustrating and will bring us down. What we need are things that lift us up, goals which are realistic, people who support us, dreams to catch…

I miss my Yoga and instead of writing down that I want to take 15 min. per day to do some Yoga I stand up and do some sun salutations right here and right now. I can write in my journal “8 sun salutations” and that feels good!

Yesterday I wrote on Instagram the following: Be simply happy is often the most complicated

This sentence has so much to say and but is also so simple to follow. It’s saying nothing more than be simple and live now! We tend to over-do, over-plan, over-think, over-write, over-talk instead of doing what we want to do.

I am one of them, I’m maybe the best worst example for that because I over-think literally EVERYTHING. I try to reach a perfection instead of just taking the moment and that all with knowing very well that nothing is perfect and that imperfection is even more interesting than something that seems to be perfect. I struggle as we all struggle and that’s why it is even more important to remind me and all that we are not here to be perfect.

We should be happy, we should love and smile and enjoy and treat us well.

At the end of our life nobody will remember the perfect house, the neat clothes, the combed hair, the clean windows or the success at work. At the end all that counts are all those imperfect happy moments we spent.

Instead of running after imaginary goals start and live now!

Stand up wherever you are right now, look up, breathe, reach your arms up high and embrace all the beauty around you. This life is wonderful if we let it be…

<3

Night thoughts

Night thoughts

Night thoughts

Night thoughts are creative, sometimes blurred but still strong enough to survive the night, they are anxious from time to time and vivid, oh yes how vivid they can be.

When everyone is asleep but me and the world outside silent for a few hours they appear.

These thoughts wake me up and they are annoying in the beginning because I need my sleep but in the end they are truly amazing.

The night is the only time when I am as calm as I can be and where thoughts can flow uninterrupted for a while, thinking something through without disturbances.

The best ideas I had appeared during those nights.

I worked hard, I still do, and sometimes I work even harder and when I think I will fall into my bed and sleep will come over me before my head even rests – then, exactly then, these wonderful thoughts will be there like a never-ending fountain.

Listen to the silence of the night and create a whole new mindset – these nights form your being.

I never was scared of the night setting in and being awake when everyone else is asleep is rest for my soul. Specially when days are busy and breaks rare these nights are needed – every one needs silence and when it’s quiet around me my soul has time to be loud, to finally express what needs to be express, to communicate with being heard.

I’m a strong believer of intuition – my brain may want to talk me back into sleep because the next day will be busy and I need rest, but my intuition tells me that I will feel much more relaxed if I dive into this sacred space of the darkness and listen, just listen and feel.

When do you truly feel connected, connected to yourself but also to this big whole universe? In an open space, be it under a gigantic dark sky with thousands of stars above you or be it surrounded by darkness and silence when all you can hear is your own heartbeat and breath.

Listen – listen – listen and feel the depth of your being!

You are so much more than the outer layer, so much more than the visible, dive into the invisible and embrace all that you are!

Namaste <3

 

 

There was a time…

 

There was a time

There was a time…

When I had plenty of time – day in and day out. I started to draw and paint to live the creative part of me. I started to do Yoga to move my body and still my mind.

I had time to go to get my nails done, to sit in a café and just watch people walking by while slowly drinking a huge latte macchiato, I had regular hairdresser appointments and lots of time for shopping.  I spent lots of time on writing and even more on reading, reading real paper books.

This time has gone!

I have no time at all, this is a feeling that implanted itself into my brain.

I need to rush through my life because everything is planned and organized and if I get off this schedule tragedies will happen.

I rush to the Kindergarten to be in time before they start their day, I rush back to work, I squeeze appointments in between my work schedule as I cannot attend them with my son. I rush to the Kindergarten to pick him up and run with him through the supermarket because he’s tired and cranky. I rush back home and hope he sleeps so that I can finish my work and prepare dinner, when he wakes up there’s no possibility that I sit on my desk as he will go mad.

We need to play (which is his right!) and that’s the first time where I can slow down a bit. After dinner he’s fully awake and energized to enjoy a long evening with us which means not really time for me to do something creative or watch a movie without interruption, a bit of Yoga works as he starts to like that. It’s late when the day ends and sleeping without me is still rarely happening and instead of reading a few “pages” on my e-book I check emails in bed and hope he’s sleeping deeply soon so that I can take a shower before my eyes close because I’m so tired.

Is this the life I imagined with a child? No. Is this how life just is as a working mum? No.

I think I had to go through this to realize something…

No tragedies happen if I’m off the schedule!

Surely work needs to be done and there will always be days like this BUT it’s up to me to change the majority of days to a more relaxed and flexible schedule.

The more relaxed I am, the more relaxed my son is.

We listen to music in the morning while getting ready to leave the house and we snuggle a while, that’s MORE important than sitting five minutes earlier in my office.

These moments won’t come back!

My office day is scheduled, there’s no way to be completely relaxed there as we have timelines and things need to be done in time but that’s just a matter of prioritizing my work and have proper to-do-lists. If I work highly concentrated instead of being distracted by stressed thoughts about what comes next I work in a more efficient way and yes, more de-stressed. If I need to finish something in the evening anyway why not to drive to the supermarket before I pick my son up? This way I’m faster and my son can go home from the kindergarten right away and snuggle up for a good sleep. I prepare dinner, I work, I am finished when he wakes up and we can do some great things together – we can finish cooking on days I didn’t manage to and he loves the kitchen, or we play or we go to the playground for a while, or we bath him, or or or.

I may not have the time still to work on my paintings, to write lots, to read lots, but I find time to enjoy, I find time to look at a caterpillar as if I discovered something completely new because my son shows me how to do that.

We go outside and search the whole sky until we find a plane or the moon or even both. We start to walk and stop again because there’s a cat climbing up a tree and we follow her to see where she goes.  My little love is not even two years old.

He learned a ton of things in his life already and he is ruling our day!

I am his mother and it’s my task to be at his site, to carry him when he’s tired, to feed him when he’s hungry, to show him this world and to go on my knees to face him on his level.

It’s my life as his mother and I love to do all of this because he should be the happiest child on this planet.

I’m able to write (as you can see), it isn’t as regularly as it once was but does that matter? I’m able to do things just for myself, they are limited and not much but that’s OK. I’m able to draw once in a while, I’m able to do many things I used to do but is that really important right now? No, it isn’t.

Important right now is that we live in this very moment because these days pass by like crazy. My little baby is a toddler already and he soon will be doing things on his own and doesn’t want me to help him or to play with him. I don’t want to miss these days and look back one day to regret that I wasn’t crawling on the floor, checking what is under the table or under the couch, just because it makes him laugh in such a giggling wonderful way. I will have plenty of time in the future for all the other things but right now every minute spent with this little bunch of pure happiness is all I need.

There was is a time…it’s called NOW!

Six years ago…

Six years ago...

Six years ago…

Six years ago I would’ve never pictured my life the way it is now.

Six years ago I planned my first single vacation in Italy

Six years ago I tried to become happy again just on my own and with myself.

Six years ago I was far away from thinking about my own wedding.

Six years ago I was not thinking that a man would step into my life and turn it upside down so quickly.

Six years ago I wasn’t even aware where exactly Libya is on the map (I knew Northern Africa, but that’s all I knew).

Six years ago I wasn’t able to touch my toes easily.

Six years ago I never imagined myself being a yogi.

Six years ago I never thought that I will have my own blog.

Six years ago I tried to get more balance in my life.

Six years ago I wouldn’t have cooked lamb meat.

Six years ago I thought Prada shoes are what I desperately need.

Six years ago my life was completely different.

Six years ago I had not the slightest idea of how wonderful motherhood feels like.

Six years ago I didn’t know that I would have a sweet family of three in a few years.

Six years ago I had no idea where Libya is.

Six years ago I just wanted to put my head under the blanket and wait for better times.

Six years ago I told myself I had to look up again.

Six years ago I thought all doors are closed.

Six years ago I wasn’t able to imagine how loved I will be six years later.

Six years ago are thankful six years ago and there were so so so many lessons learned since then. Life changes and so did I – taking a step back to see where I am today is good. I look back and am thankful, thankful of how it all turned out, thankful of the past, thankful of each single tear, thankful of being strong enough to change what can be changed and thankful that I am today right here, right now.

How was your life six years ago?

Greetings from the past but living and loving the now from misssfaith

Who am I

Crazy days of motherhood (2)

Who am I and where am I is maybe the better title.

I am just sitting here in a quiet flat (if you can ignore the washing machine and dryer in the background), my son sleeps and my husband is at work.

It’s Saturday afternoon and I have finally time just for myself.

The whole week was insanely busy – our bathroom is renewed which means that we had workers in the flat EACH day and really EARLY in the morning.

As a home office worker that’s great because you don’t have to leave them unattended, but honestly, no bathroom is a nightmare and strangers in the flat as well.

The whole week I was rushing my son in the morning to the kita, followed by a day of work and answering questions like “where is the heater”, “why wasn’t that done years ago” and “where do you want the towel holder”. When I finished work I rushed back to pick up my son, followed by quick grocery shopping before starting to cook at home (not to mention that each day I had to remove layers of dust which found their way outside of the bathroom within seconds, even in the last corner of the living room we found it.

I am happy that it’s weekend (even if the bathroom isn’t ready as promised) but at least there is time to re-charge.

And while I’m sitting here this question popped up in my mind – who am I?

This week I was only a mom and an employee, barely a wife and just me was almost invisible.

There are seldom days where I’m just me because with a toddler you are a 24/7 mom, but that’s fine, I like it (most of the times) and I wanted exactly this.

I’m a wife too and the combination of me, mom and wife is really great, just recently I have the feeling as if the employee is taking far too much time and I’m hardly able to be the rest.

I am also a yogi, if I’m lucky for half an hour per day, sometimes less and sometimes more.

Whom I’m missing recently are the artist, the jewelry maker, the relaxed and the shopping me, they are hiding themselves somewhere and I need to dig hard to find them I think, but I know that they are there.

Also the reading one seems to got lost along the way, I try so hard but after a few sentences I cannot keep my eyes open on most of the days.

I know that these times change and I know that it is all worth it in the end. I just have to look into the eyes of my son to know that this overflowing pure love is the greatest gift in life, everything else is a plus, an extra, something I will have time for when he’s older.

I also lost some mes along the way and that’s great, I’m happy that I’m not them anymore. That doesn’t mean I didn’t like them, they were wonderful the way they were, they are just not important any more and their time is over. There was the single and the undecided twen, the partying and the what cost’s the world one, the newly hired and the where do I wanna be in 20 years one, the blindly in love and the sad and depressed one, I look back and say thanks to all of them, you made me the person I am today and I won’t miss anyone of you.

Who are you right now? And are you happy with the others vanishing or hiding? Who won’t show up again?

Questions over questions, I’d love to read your stories.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are there still real blogs or is everyone sponsored?

Are there still real blogs or is everyone sponsored?

Real Blog

I would lie if I wouldn’t think about sponsored blog posts, it’s nice if you get something for your work, isn’t it?

I mean, honestly, I write because I love to write and I publish my writing because?

Because I would love to start discussions, receive some feedback, connect with others BUT this won’t happen. It’s not happening because this tiny blog here is my hobby.

I’m not professional when it comes to setting up a blog because I have no time for it – I’m a mom, a full-time worker, a wife, a woman, I cannot be as professional as someone who works in that area.

But what I am, and this is something I can ensure, I am real.

So what? I am happy and thankful for the few readers I have and my eyes light up whenever I receive a comment on one of my posts because it’s something special.

I may not be perfect but who is?

What I wonder about indeed is this whole influencer story. What means influencer? I try to influence my readers, followers, friends, family, correct?

Do I want to influence or rather be someone who is showing reality?

This feeling that everyone recently is sooooooo excited and soooooooo in love with each and every new item is something I don’t believe.

Many influencers are sitting in their stylish clean designer house, they drive the newest car and have the happiest marriage, their kids are little dressed up mannequins and life is perfect. That’s what they show us.

But is that what we want to see? Really?

Where are the messy moms who barely are able to shower once per day because either a cranky kid is hanging on her leg or she is just too tired in the evening after a day full of work, grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, kids and who prefer to spend an hour sitting on the floor building wooden castles instead of blow drying their hair for the perfect look?

Where are the wives with not so perfect marriages, the women who would love to wipe a shiny floor again for a YouTube video but who struggle to walk through the house without stepping on toys.

Where are all of you?

Don’t tell me I’m the only one with a messy life, the only one who dreams of a spa weekend (or better week) but who would miss her kids and her husband too much to leave them behind?

I think I knocked myself latest with this post out of the influencer circle unless there is someone out there who wants an authentic opinion.

I like that yogurt because I really like it or I don’t like the yogurt because it sucks. I can explain both scenarios, don’t worry, but I would not tell you it’s so delicious that I recommend it to everyone out there. Maybe you want a messy mom, then this here is my application.

A blog with a handful of real readers, a twitter account that is linked to everything I post but where I have no idea if someone indeed read something there, an Instagram account which I absolutely love and which has quite a decent number of followers but the majority of them is either sleeping 24/7 or lost their phones as interaction is rarely, ah, and my Facebook account, I love facebook but also there the interaction mainly takes place in secret mommy groups instead of public on my profile.

I can recommend everything I like and I indeed do and maybe even be able to influence, but I cannot sell a fridge to a penguin and I don’t want to do that either.

Are you real or are you sponsored?

#thisisNOTasponsoredpost 😉

 

 

 

Today is a gift

Today is a gift

We have so so so many reasons to be excited about today.

Far too often we forget about them and start to complain and to feel bad about today. Don’t let this happen.

Start to count your blessings and realize why you should love your life just now, just today:

  1. Today you are healthy

Health is one of the biggest gifts! Many of us are so used to being healthy that we forget how good it really is. Only when we are sick we start to appreciate the blessing of being healthy. Don't wait to be sick but be thankful now that you are healthy.

  1. Today there is someone who loves you

Just today, if there is somebody in your life who loves you, you are rich, you have something many people long for. It is terrible to be lonely and you have something so precious.

  1. Today do love

Don't be loved only, no, do love! You can love and give love as well and it feels wonderful.

  1. Today you have something to eat

And most probably you have not only something to eat but decent food you like. Remember that many people have nothing or not something they can choose but only a bit what keeps them alive. We can eat several times per day whereas others struggle to eat once a day.

  1. Today you live in peace

There are far too many areas with war on this planet, people who have to leave their homes behind to be safe, who have lost family members, who have an uncertain future ahead. Be grateful for the peace!

  1. Today you have time 

Time to read, time to do what you like, time just for yourself even if it's five minutes. There are persons out there with no time left to enjoy life, some need to work 24/7 to feed their families, some need to be alerted every second to avoid dangerous situations, we are lucky to live in such a civilized way that we can enjoy our time.

  1. Today you have clean air to breathe and clean water to drink

You are not breathing through a mask and can drink unfiltered water just from the tap? Many people in the world cannot even imagine that this is possible. Air to breathe and water to drink are very rare in some areas on this planet.

  1. Today you are safe

This one is tricky as nowadays we cannot be safe anywhere but still we are safe when we compare our life to the life of many others. We visit places without worrying too much and that’s something to be thankful for.

  1. Today you can give

Are you giving? If not try it, it feels so good to give because you receive happiness. Give your neighbor a piece of your cake and you made two persons happy, the neighbor and yourself. Give a smile to a stranger and you receive a smile back. Giving is wonderful!

  1. Today you woke up and it is a new day

NOW, that is where we are. Don't worry about the past as it's gone. Now is a new day and you can start freshly into a new day.

 

Yoga isn’t my religion

Yoga isn't my religion

Yoga isn’t my religion

This topic came up a few times since I started to practice Yoga and now I want to tell you that I can be a Yogi without being a Hinduist or a Buddhist!

Not everyone who is running into a Yoga Studio or carries a Yoga mat with him or her has suddenly a religion.

It’s not like “Buy one mat and get a religion for free”.

It is a fact that yoga works with each and every religion.

I am married to a Muslim and therefore I am in a couple of Facebook groups out of curiosity to read how other non Muslim women go along with their Muslim husbands.

What I realized quite quick is that many converted or reverted and are even more strict than a born muslim is.

We had the Yoga topic and I was bombarded with statements like “The wife of a muslim shoulnd’t do this!” as if I would instantly worship a “forbidden” religion.

Here’s my answer:

First of all, yes, my husband is a Muslim, but that doesn’t make me one automatically – like the buy one yoga mat it’s not “marry a Muslim and get his religion for free”. I’m still capable of choosing my own faith!

The second point is that I have never seen Yoga as a religion, why would I?

Many are discussing if you can practice Yoga and still hold your faith.

Why not?

The history of Yoga started around 5000 years ago and was connected to the Vedras which play a role in the roots of Hinduism.

What you can see nowadays, as they share the same language, is that some chanting refets to hindu gods.

Ok, but not every yogi is sitting in a class and is chanting in hindu (many are not even speaking nor understanding hindu so why would they do it?). There are many many people out there practicing yoga regularly whithout having chanted even once! I’m one of them.

I use mantras from time to time – uhuuhhh, what’s that?

A mantra is nothing else than any repeated word or phrase – in meditation you can use it for yourself to manifest certain things for your own life like for instance “Let go of …” or “Trust yourself and love yourself” – whatever is important for you rat that moment. Mantra comes from the Sanskrit word ‘meaning’.

The Yoga language is simply Sanskrit, the same way Christianity is in Latin but Latin itself is not a religion, Islam in Arabic but Arabic itself is not a religion and Judaism is in Hebrew but Hebrew itself is not a religion.

Yoga was even rejected by Hinduism because yoga would not insist that god exists. It didn’t say there was no god but just wouldn’t insist there was.

For me this is another proof that Yoga is not a religion and should not affiliate with any religion.

There’s not one religious creed to be found.

You don’t have to follow certain rituals, such as baptism or confirmation. You don’t have obligations like in several other religions, such as visiting the church or mosque for prayer, fasting, celebrating feasts or receiving sacraments.

What is it then if not a religion? Is it sports, fitness, a hobby?

No, yoga was formed as a way to sit for hours, days, months, maybe longer in a meditative state, as a spiritual practice.

It is a spiritual way of living.

It is a way that teaches you mindfulness, how to take care of your mind, body and soul and how to be a good person.

What about the yogis that eventually would like to reach the state of enlightenment?

This enlightenment will not turn them into a god or a worshiper of god!

It means that they are able to experience a state of inner peace, bliss, some are saying they’ve seen their inner light, they connected to their deepest inner self. But that’s indeed all – no religious sign.

It’s a journey to our inner self.

If I step on my mat I feel calm, I connect with myself and listen to my body, mind and soul.

I breate consciously and fade out the stress of the daily life.

It’s my time to unwind and relax while going in and out of different yoga poses that strengthen my body.

I listen to myself or am still and take the stillness as a recreation for my mind.

The time while I’m doing Yoga is simply the time where I am able to honor all I am and the people around me.

I feel blessed because in times of stillness you are able to connect to what really matters.

If it’s not my religion, why do I post Buddha quotes on my social networks from time to time?

Because I am in charge of who I am and what I like or dislike.

I love Buddha quotes but that doesn’t mean I am a Buddhist, I love quotes from ancient philosophers as well – there is lots of wisdom to be found in many directions and I don’t decide if I like it based on which religion the authors belonged to.

I choose what I like based on the words I read.

One last question was why I can say Namaste without being connected to Hinduism?

Do you have any idea what Namaste means?

My soul honors your soul.

I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides.

I honor the light, love, truth, beauty & peace within you, because it is also within me.

In sharing these things we are united, we are the same, we are one.

Said that I give you now my personal explanation; I’m open-minded and one rule for my life is to respect and tolerate every living being on this earth.

I would dare to say that I am a better person than someone else because it’s not my right to put myself in a higher position.

I appreciate my life how it is and therefore also honor or thank others because people teach people lessons.

I wouldn’t be where I am without all those people on this earth.

Sending love & light.

Namaste ॐ

Do Rock Stars Need Social Media Strategies

Do Rock Stars Need Social Media Strategies

Yes, they definitely do!
I’m not a social media expert but I’m a social media user. This is written from my point of view, the user site. I’m not a fan in the meaning of the word fan but I like some singers, songwriters, etc. and I realized that there a big differences for instance in Facebook fan pages.
In times of Facebook and twitter there’s no way to ignore these media. But it’s not done with only sharing a fan page.

Fans want to get updates on what’s going on in their idols life. And most of them do not only want to read news about the development of a new album or getting the next dates for gigs, no, they want to have the feeling of participating a bit. They wanna see pictures from “behind the scenes”, having insight in the ‘private’ part of them.
On the other hand it’s absolutely understandable that the artist him/herself is not keen to share too much private life and to draw a strict line between business and private life.
That’s the reason why strategies are needed. What to share when and what not.

Surely one important thing is how known the artist is. If Justin Bieber is posting the view from his hotel room he may run into problems. Some of his fans will know the city where he is currently staying, some the view itself and the hunt is opened whereas some “unknown” or niche artist can do that without sharing too much information.

To develop a strategy the artist him/herself is needed. It doesn’t make sense if a management is updating and the artist not involved at all.
People realize that. There are some good profiles which proof that it’s working whereas you have also the bad examples in masses out there.
I don’t even believe that the amount of likes or followers is the most important. It has an importance but it’s not the key to success of a page. We all know that the follow or like button is quickly pressed but that doesn’t mean they are all honestly interested.

Connection is another bullet point on the development list.
Spread the message on many social networks instead of focussing on one.
You will always have some who love for instance myspace whereas others just log onto twitter.
Technology nowadays makes it really easy to take one network as a main page but connect it to several others ones so that one post is distributed to all – so all get the same message at the same time.

If you don’t want to loose fans or followers, inform them! There’s nothing bad in posting that you will be on holidays for two weeks and therefore not posting but that there will be news on the date you return. This way they’ll stay curious and wait for the next message.
Also inform them about dates, not only gigs, when are TV shows, press conferences, radio interviews, etc. Here it’s important to let them know in time. Is a date fixed, inform them. You still can send a reminder on the day itself but too short notice will minimize the audience. Not everyone is 24/7 on the web but many will put notes in their calendars if they are aware upfront.

Read comments – you don’t have to read them all as that would in some cases fill a full day, no, sneak in randomly – it’s always good to see what they think or may request. “There was no update on the new album release, when will it be on the shelves?” – this is a good comments to base the next post on.

Interact, not like talk to all of them personally but ask – did you like…, what can I improve…, where do you want to see me…, etc. they will have the feeling as if they are a part.

Give them previews on new things, they follow you because they expect to have a bit more insight than the public mass. “I’m working on a new song called…, stay tuned”.

Add small challenges – to give away an album or autograph doesn’t hurt you but will keep your fans happy.

Mention cities where the audience was awesome, they get the feeling as if they were special.

All in all what I want to emphasize is that this is a wide spread topic and that it’s not enough to just have an account. It needs to be feeded.
Good luck!

20131111-154236.jpg