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There are seldom days…that are perfect

There are seldom days… that are perfect

There are seldom days that don’t fly by…you wake up, turn around, and it’s already time to unwind for bed.

Time passes by…

There are many weeks where the Monday started and within the blink of an eye it’s Friday afternoon.

Yesterday was January and now it’s already the end of April.

A short time ago I was 25 and this year I hit the 45.

Years pass by and if I don’t realise it for myself, I see it when I look at my son who was just born and now starts school in summer.

We can’t go back, but what we can is to enjoy!

Cherish the time we have, do the things we love, stop and breathe and smile.

Oftentimes I want to write away my thoughts but in most cases it stays „I want“ because the dishwasher beeps or it’s time for the kindergarten pick up.

This time I write above the clouds. Arrival in Boston is scheduled in one hour and fifty-two minutes. After two years it’s my first business trip and it brings me right on the other side of the ocean. Which is nice, don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining, I’m just torn apart each time.

To wave goodbye to a six-year old who tries to be strong and fights his tears is hard!

Motherhood is hard!

I’m so proud of him and I care more than I would have ever have been able to imagine. He is the greatest achievement of my life. No work career can be better than raising this wonderful little being.

When his tiny arms squeeze me tight and he tells me that he loves me to the moon and further, that’s all! There’s nothing to top it!

Now he’s strong and will sleep four whole nights in my bed next to my husband until we are back together.

Everyone is telling me to enjoy, time alone is something mom’s rarely have, to have fun. But honestly, you know what? I am strong too! I wiped my tears away at the airport too. I also will count the nights until I am back in the plane which hasn‘t even landed.

When I was still at the airport, waiting for boarding, my husband texted me from home what to prepare for our son to eat. Even there, I already told him, I would have loved to be back in our kitchen to prepare a plate for him with what he likes most.

This weirdness is called motherhood too. It is weird because day in day out I don’t see how precious these simple mundane moments are, but just knowing that I won’t have them for only a short time shows me the truth.

Life is precious…

Every single simple moment means the world to our children! Hearing us moms around is their safe haven and that’s exactly what they deserve!

I will check how many things I can buy here for him, half of my suitcase is empty to be filled with clothes and toys, hoping that the next chance to come over is far in the future and not coming too fast. I don’t want to think about another goodbye, I want the daily chaos.

But you know, no matter how much I will buy, the most important will be to hug one another again as soon as I’m outside of the security area.

I know that we moms are bears and that we can move mountains when needed. But please take care! Let go of the unimportant and focus on what makes lasting memories.

It won’t be the long cooked dinner where you were hidden in the kitchen for hours, the forgotten spaghetti which glue together because you were playing on the floor will last in your childrens memory.

Perfection is no attribute for a mom, love is!

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Changing my Job?

Changing my Job?Do you know the feeling of being fed up after working more than ten years in the same area? I have it and I’m more and more thinking what I may do for a living with having the enthusiasm I had when I started my current job.
The problem is that I’m stucked in my area when it comes to experience and almost all employers ask for experienced staff and are not hiring newbies.
But am I really stucked or is it only my mind?
I spent the last couples of weeks more and more with thinking about what to do instead of my current job. And what I realized is that there is always another possibility.
Our experience is never only job based, it’s cumulative experience of what you did at work, how you grew as human, what you experienced in life and how you are going on with others.
The school of life is a never ending one and we went through class after class, some realize it and think about it, others just take it as it is.
What am I currently?
I’m a project manager in the clinical research area, I’m a thirty five year old woman who is finally planning a life together with my love like a grown up, I’m interested in several topics like music, art, writing, personality, traveling, psychology, and so on.
A previous blog post which I wrote myself just brought me on the next idea. If I wouldn’t see a reason in writing posts up to now, that is the moment where I appreciate at least for myself. I’m sure if I would never have pinned it down somewhere I wouldn’t had realized.
It was about the training I attended in Madrid and just opened my eyes once again.
If I am a project manager, what does it mean? It means I’m able to handle project and in the best case bring them to a successful end.
So why am I stucked in the research area? I’m not, I just have to find out thoroughly what area could be handled by me.
My goal is to change in near future into the travel planning area. But not the planning for typical tourists who go into an agency and book the two week all-inclusive holidays once per year. that would be boring, at least for me.
I want challenges and contact and real planning instead of typing dates into a system which delivers me a certain choice of offers to book.
When I travelled with my best friend to the Caribbean a luxury travel agency was handling everything for us. These agencies are consulted by people with enough money to spend. Persons who don’t care if the costs are more than expected when the result is fulfilling their expectations.
Why do I think that I’m able to do it?
One of my strengths is communication, if I communicate with clients, doctors or heads of hospitals or if I communicate with airlines, hotels, guides or restaurant, there is not a big difference, in the end the result has to be fine.
If I go through my strengths I can see the parallels, I just have to switch them to another area.
Scheduling appointments with different persons in my current job or scheduling when which of my clients in traveling would like his breakfast, lunch or dinner is nearly the same.
Planning and organizing is my day to day work since more than ten years, instead of planning my business trip I am sure to be able to plan leisure trips for others. I’ve been in many different hotels in my life so far and checking somebody into a three star hotel instead of the five star he wants is something which wouldn’t happen as I know the differences in standard. But I also know that five stars aren’t the same all over the world.
What else? English fluently and in writing as well as handling different computer systems is not a real challenge.
So what am I waiting for? Honestly, my fixed salary at the moment as I know we need it to plan the next two years. But this means also that I have the next two years time for research in traveling. Where are the agencies I would love to work for, how is the range of salaries for people stepping in from the side without the typical education, what do I need to have on my CV before applying and many more.
Anyone who has experience is very welcome to comment and send me some tips or website links, I would love to learn as much as I can upfront!
Thanks and never lose the faith, we are more than we think and not limited just because we chose something years ago.
Miss Faith

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First holidays on my own in Italy – part 3 (Departure)

First holidays on my own in Italy – part 3 (Departure)
One week alone in Italy – was it what I wanted?
On the bus travel back to the airport I was trying to draw a conclusion of what was good, what not so good.
There are many if I’m honest, I just tell about the main for me.
The first and most important lesson learned for me was that you always carry your mind with you, there’s no escape. But if you are out of your daily routine you are able to get another view on it. You have the time to re-think, over-think, search, at least I had the passion to do so and was driving back in a better shape.
Another good experience was not to be scared of traveling alone. If you are a bit communicative you will make contact to others. I kept it on a low level as my intention was not to make friends but nevertheless I had some nice chats with tourists like the two women or my neighbor couple as well as with some of the locals, the poolbar chief who had once a gelateria in Germany, one of his co-workers who proudly showed pictures of his newborn daughter and a farmer who lived near to the hotel.
This was a nice story as I was walking by each day and from time to time I was buying some of his fruits, tomatoes, pepper, and as he was only talking Italian he teached me some phrases. This reminded me again on my wish to learn Italian, unfortunately it’s still just a plan and I haven’t worked on it yet. But it showed me how friendly these people are and they don’t need big houses or expensive cars, they just enjoy there being which is something I took back with me.
Simplicity is often the healthier way to live instead of running after timelines, being stressed or work until you fell asleep exhausted in the middle of the night.
What I missed is someone to share the beauty with. If you are standing at the lighthouse and enjoy the beautiful view of the sea you miss someone next to you to share it with. I took so many pictures and for sure I shared them with others afterwards but the moment itself was just for me.
Also many of these places were romantic and these were the moments when I asked myself what I did wrong to be there alone instead of snuggling up into the arms of someone, but that’s life. Everything which happens in life has a deeper sense.
And it was still better than traveling in a group with a guide explaining stuff you don’t want to know. These guides which hold up an umbrella and you run after it. I think I would have felt even more lonely within such a group.
In the end it was exactly what I needed. I went back with new impressions, new thoughts, ready to do something in my life to change it. I wasn’t completely renewed but it was a step towards myself.
I regained the faith in me, trusting myself, having the ability to change and to live in a happy way.

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First holidays on my own in Italy – part 2 (Stay)

First holidays on my own in Italy – part 2 (Stay)I woke up early on my first real vacation day which is completely unusual for me. But why not – I wanted a change so I took it just like this and went for breakfast. I had no special plans for my day, just walking around, enjoying the sunshine, going down to the beach to see how it is, just drifting in different directions. This plan turned out to be the best I ever had. I’m sure I wouldn’t have discovered all these nice places when booking a guided tour or making tough plans on what to see during the days. Capo Vaticano, it’s a cute, small, one-horse town in Calabria. I walked up to the lighthouse and was already catched by it’s beauty. You have awesome views from there down to the sea. A small cafe next to it served the typical ice-cream for this region called tartufo. It’s hard to describe how I felt but it was a bit like Alice in wonderland, every now and then I saw beautiful flowers, small ways covered by trees with sunshine breaking through the leaves, always the sound of the sea near. Silence, exactly what I wanted. It was not the main season so not all places were crowded by tourists, it were mainly locals walking by and greeting as if we know each other in a friendly way. I was calm, more calm than all those weeks before. From time to time my past was hunting me, mainly in the evenings when it was getting dark outside, like ghosts they were appearing out of nothing but they didn’t brought me down like they did before. There were too many thoughts on my mind which left not much place for them. When I felt them, I just accepted that I couldn’t run away but also I started to search for inner peace to get rid of them completely one day. Thanks to Paulo Coelho here, as his ‘Warrior of light’ was a great inspiration. Another great experience was that I opened my eyes again to all what was going on around me. Like sleeping beauty caught in a never ending nightmare, I was awakening, step by step, back to the person I was a long time ago. Ok, without the kiss, but this was something I wouldn’t even think about. Before thinking about a man I first had the task to get back to myself again. Pushing my self esteem was not on my list but it was unavoidable as blonde in Calabria. I never believed all stories about Italian men but discovered very quickly that there’s a lot of truth in them. Believe it or not, cars were slowing down next me and men from eighteen to eighty were smiling and waving at me. Back in the hotel I relaxed at the pool, reading in the shadow of my umbrella, until one guy from the pool bar brought me a drink I didn’t ordered. With best wishes from our cook, who was standing on the opposite of the pool waving over. The rules that staff is not allowed to flirt with guests weren’t existing, at least not for them. But as long as it was not bothering in a rude way it was fine for me. To realize that I wasn’t invisible was pushing my mood. Servants giving me something extra, nice to have, I knew that it’s not because it’s me as person but who cares, as long as it feels good. When approaches especially from the cook became more I explained there’s no chance at all, I will not go for a drink, I will not drive to a private party, I just finish my drink and go in my room, alone, and sleep. He tried it again each night and in the end he was not saying goodbye like a huffish child not getting what it wanted. Poor guy, the next blonde was for sure there quicker than he thought and some will like it for sure.
The days were passing so quickly that I already thought why not two weeks instead of one. But one was ok, I was relaxing, I was calming down, I enjoyed the landscape in bright sunshine and not to forget the awesome Italian food.
What’s the conclusion of this week? See part 3

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