A while ago it was nursing and then he turned away a slept.
Now he turns away and starts to turn and roll and sit up and lay down – I’m happy that I haven’t bruises in my face yet or a knocked out tooth because changing positions is often very spontaneous and energetic.
He’s growing so fast that I often wonder when this will end.
I love our family bed – is there something more cuts than a tiny hand that searches for you at night and a little sigh of relief when it touches you.
Mommy is here, sleep tight!
I know that these days will go by sooner or later and therefore I try especially during nights which are not only relaxed but sleepless to remember that.
One day I will miss these nights, even the sleepless ones when I was hit without warning by an arm or a leg. One day I would wish that this tiny hand would rest on my arm.
I always try to live in the moment and to enjoy and see the positive in every situation but as a mother this now is another dimension – all of a sudden I realise the reason why it is so important.
We build memories with every single ‘now’ moment which cannot be captured by pictures or words, only our heart and soul are able to treasure these nows.
Build as many memories as you can, these are the important things in life!
It’s so amazing to watch him walking as if the world belongs to him.
Fearless he walks into every corner, checking if there is something he hasn’t seen before.
He’s not yet two years old and has seen more of the area we live in than me in eleven years because he doesn’t care what others may think.
There’s a door half-open, an invite for him to squeeze his tiny head through it and have a look around.
Open doors surely aren’t an obstacle at all.
My little mister charming also knows that he just needs to smile and people smile back at him.
He doesn’t know yet what’s wrong or right, he just knows what feels good and what not. Completely driven by wander and lust, with no bad intention just curiosity, this little rebel is doing exactly what he likes.
And I’m following, I follow him to see the world through his eyes, to get that feeling of carefree life for short moments, for holding him softly back when needed, to protect him from danger, to be his safety net.
I’m following and I’m the proudest person on earth because what we taught him as parents is so clearly visible.
He knows that, whatever he is doing, we are close.
He knows we catch him if he falls and that we protect him, he feels unconditional love and therefore goes straight forward without fear, he’s so pure and so honest.
He hugs when he wants to and not when someone asks him, he drinks when he’s thirsty and he sleeps when he’s tired.
I hope he will never lose this sense of wonder and wanders through his life as curios as he wants to be.
I hope he will never doubt how wonderful he is and that he’s loved more than words can describe.
I hope he will take off his shoes and socks as often as he can like he’s doing now to connect and ground himself.
This earth is the place for our children to wander and wonder – let’s give them all they need to start their journey loved and safe.
Do you know these families who have a certain area around their home for the first years after a child was born? "Aurora needs her nap time in her bed." "Lucas is not sleeping anywhere else." Or worse, the parents who need the whole children equipment from bottle warmer to rocking chair, the ones who are not able to improvise and stick to their patterns. We are not like that, neither our child nor we. We love to travel and the easiest for me ist to travel by car. You throw all you need inside and off we go. We spent already lots of time in the car so it's a bit like a second home. If you don't expect it you'll find a diaper (often when you indeed need it) or jacket which we thought lost. Yes, it's a bit messy and I admit that we are at the end of October and we still have the beach umbrella in the back and Tuscan sand on the floor, that's us and I love it! The best of these messy details is that they don't matter, what matters is that we have a big radius around home already and that we know we can go in whatever direction and we are happy. A travelling toddler who sleeps everywhere is worth the mess. His seat is based on cookie crumbs and our family is based everywhere. He sleeps apparently everywhere when he is tired. What he needs is the reassurance that we are around and that he is safe with us. Everything else doesn't matter, it can be loud or quiet, sunny or dark, crowded or peaceful, when he is tired he grabs our hand or hugs us tight and off to the land of toddlerdreams. But what about sleeping times and nap times? We don't have them. And before someone starts to argue how important steadiness is…we love that we don't have them! He is 18 months old, he sleeps when he's tired, he eats when he's hungry and we give him the freedom to grow without a strict schedule as much as we can. Latest with 6 years when he starts school this life is over as he cannot go to school when he likes or stays in bed longer in the morning when he's supposed to be in his class. What are 6 years compared to a lifetime? We should cherish these first six years where our kids are mainly free little birds. The kindergarten (Kita) for kids under three started for us in September and he's doing it great. He has a nap time there and he's actually napping and he eats when they all eat. Children are able to adapt quickly and they know which rules apply where so why should we limit his freedom at home? We are now on our way to my parents and he sleeps in his car seat next to me while I'm writing and my husband drives, this is our on the road life, one glance at it. Most people tend to make life more complicated than it is. What is really important, especially with children? Now! Now is all we should focus on. Our children could be our teacher because they know how it works by heart. BE HERE NOW (look at your child and soak in the love). At the end of the day WE are important, the core of our beings. Our travelling toddler is happy, and so are we ♥️ that's the essence of life, isn't it?
Autumn was for me always just another season.
It’s getting darker and winter is approaching us but the past years I wasn’t thinking too much about anything else.
Now, as a mother, I start to cherish the seasons more again.
There’s so much beauty hidden inside and I was stupid not to see it.
I think I was a child the last time I collected chestnuts although it’s really fun.
Only now when my little son stands in front of me with his eyes shining brightly because he found a shiny brown chestnut I start to realise how many wonderful things autumn has for us.
It’s not days getting darker and colder, it’s a whole new world to discover in autumn.
Leaves change their colours and start to dance with the wind when they fall from the trees.
They make wonderful noises when you walk through them. They smell differently once they were falling on the earth.
The sun is still warm and when we run outside we can take the jackets off for a little while.
If we watch the birds we can see that they collect nutshells and little branches for building nests.
The squirrels start to collect nuts to be prepared for the winter.
Mornings are foggy and colder these days but we can see if the days will be sunny or not.
Even rainy days in autumn are wonderful days. We can jump into puddles and laugh loud because it’s so much fun.
So many things I just see now again.
Start to see the world through the eyes of a child and you will rediscover a life full of excitements.
No kid would say that autumn is boring or that they like summer more because they take life as it is and see the wonderful parts in everything.
We can learn so much from our children. This purity and positive approach to life is a gift!
I’m watching my son sleeping while writing and am so so so thankful for being his mom and learning from him a whole new way of living (which I knew once but that seems so long ago that I forgot about it).
Enjoy the autumn – it’s so worth it!
I’m sitting in the kindergarten and am not believing what I’ve seen.
My son, the little one who sleeps only with me or his dad, is actually sleeping.
It’s the first day where we wanted to try if he may sleep and he’s surprising us all.
This little bunch of energy was on the arm of his kindergarten teacher and she rocked him into sleep.
Help, this is another point which seems to be harder for me as a mom than for him during this integration phase.
My baby does not need me.
I know I know – it’s not true and surely he needs me and I will be there for him until my last breath but these mini steps away from me always show me how grown up he already is.
The tiny baby is walking through his toddler life and he has a strong will and confidence – we gave him the unconditional love and he knows he can count on us.
He trusts and when I say “I pick you up later, my love” he knows that I will be there.
My heart is bursting – I’m so proud of this little fellow ♥️
It is the most wonderful thing on earth to become a mom, I sign this sentence every second of my life because it is the ultimate truth!
But, and this but isn’t diminishing the overall happiness, there are times where you ask yourself how to move on. You will, so don’t worry, the question for me is always where the strength is coming from and I haven’t found an answer yet.
What nobody tells you is that you indeed will never sleep like before. Even if you are one of the lucky moms with sleep-through babies or toddlers, the sleep isn’t the same. If the neighbor 2 miles down the road opens a water bottle you will hear it. You are in an alerted state the whole night long, which indeed is great to protect your child. Whenever it breathes somehow strange for your ears you are wide awake.
I enjoyed the luxury of a full year staying at home with my baby and you think that will be like a long vacation – forget that.
Diaper changes are very frequent in the beginning and I mean frequent, as is the feeding routine. There were days where I was breastfeeding 24/7 (at least it felt like it). Spending 2 minutes on your own in the bathroom were the vacation.
Sports, your new hobby will be “running in circles” as this is what happens with a baby. Once you think all is done it will start all over again.
I love to read BOOKS and I always was in denial of getting a kindle or something similar because books need to be out of paper, live, smell. Did you ever try to read a book when the baby sleeps next to you? The light is too much, turning a page sounds as if you are reconstructing the bedroom while your baby should sleep, I’m so glad that I gave in and bought a kindle, otherwise I wouldn’t have read a page in a year.
Now that my baby is a walking toddler he discovers how to make fun of mommy and he’s doing things on purpose. Especially things he shouldn’t do at all. It’s driving you insane when you run after him for the same thing over and over again but the smile on his face because he has so much fun is worth all of it.
I loved every second when he was a baby and every time has its own enchantment.
Now with 14 months he comes on his own to give kisses and to snuggle and there’s nothing more lovely than tiny arms wrapped around your neck – this unconditional love you give from the second your child is born and even before is coming back to you. There is someone who loves you in the purest form of love and who trusts without boundaries.
Were there sleepless night, was their food on the floor, were there diapers everywhere as he found out how to open the diaper box, was there a phone in the toilet, were your keys in the trash bin? EVERYTHING is forgotten at those moments and you are again 100% sure that having a child is the one thing in life which you will always be most proud of and which was the best decision you’ve ever made.
The most important in my life is my son and his well-being – blessed with a wonderful childhood myself I’m trying my best to give him exactly this, a carefree time, building memories, trust, love, understanding, time, time to grow and to discover the world in his own speed, time to spend with his parents, a family, the feeling of being loved and wanted because that’s the truth.
It’s a whole new dimension in life when you become a parent – I thought I had a rough idea on how it would be but I was innocent, only when you are a parent you will be able to partly understand what it’s all about and even then you will doubt if you are doing all right and if you are a good parent.
Believe me, you are!
Our children know more than we do and these little souls know that we are giving all we can to make their life wonderful.
I was practicing Yoga before pregnancy, almost until the very end of my pregnancy and I started about six weeks after birth again to roll out my mat and loved it but what happened then?
My baby started to move around. I think that was the point when I began to let go.
You prepare the place and it looks so inviting and before you start he wakes up after a 5 minutes nap that should have been a 2 hour nap.
And for sure you want your baby to grow and move and explore the world but not just at that moment when you are on your mat.
But that’s life – babies don’t care at all what you want and it is their right!
I’m always saying myself that I wanted him so much and that he deserves my attention. Life without him is unimaginable so what am I complaining about? But still, there’s a tiny voice inside of me saying that I deserve also some time for myself so I just started to check where to find this time because my yoga mat was invaded now by a toddler.
In general letting go is something wonderful, letting go old nasty habits, letting go people who stress you, letting go old wounds, letting go bad memories BUT why should I let go my personal realm?
I didn’t want to let it go, it just happened and I was too weak to scream STAY.
There were these endless nights of no sleep and days without one free arm, hours and hours of carrying a baby followed by hours and hours of breastfeeding. And then you see these super-fit moms on Instagram who breastfeed their babies while being in a state of complete relaxation while standing upside down – yes, this is what I needed to be more frustrated even.
We struggle more often than you can even imagine and all of a sudden the baby is asleep and then we worry if he or she is fine instead of using the time to relax, we think we need to be perfect but hey – we DON’T NEED to be perfect – we need to survive this crazy journey of being a mom to be there as we promised our babies in the very first second after birth.
“I’ll be there for you until the end of my life and beyond, my love for you will never die!”
My son is now 14 months and have no idea where all this love is coming from but I love him more each day although I thought it cannot be bigger than when we first met. BUT I am also tired on some days and stressed on others and sometimes both.
My Yoga practice is, let me call it, slightly irregular but I found out that I need less time to relax than before I was a mom. Less time because I know that I need to grab every second as this will be better than nothing so I relax while folding clothes, I relax while having a shower, I relax while being out for a walk when he sleeps, I relax these 5 minutes on the playground when he’s happily eating the sand again (it will improve his immune system, that’s what I tell myself because I cannot stop him anyway).
Today I had really time for yoga, my husband and my son had an afternoon nap and finally I rolled out my mat (to realize that I’m stiff like a wooden stick but who cares) and yes, it felt so so so good.
But more often the truth is that I try to squeeze in 5 minutes with a messy bun on my head just to have the feeling I haven’t lost my yoga at all.
I know that this is just a phase and that things change, until then I will embrace this motherhood exactly the way it is! Mostly the best ever and sometimes just beyond my strengths.
Stay strong dear moms out there because you know what – WE ROCK (no men can even imagine what we are capable of and we should be proud of ourselves!)
Standing on the mat for a few deep breaths is sometimes all we manage but that’s fine because we feel alive and know that one day these few deep breaths are just the start of a whole new yoga practice because our children grew up and we miss them on our mats so deeply.
I am thankful that I am experiencing all of this, even if it’s not easy from time to time, I just see my son and know it all is so worth it and everything happens for a reason!