Stay with me…always!

Stay with me…always!Another stay…has come to an end…
For almost the whole last month we had time together, my husband was back home here with me and we had lots of things to plan. The wedding should take place in August and we will not be able to have an actual date until all our documents are submitted in May and reviewed by the German registry office.
Nevertheless we should have a plan in place by then on how to organize things quickly as we cannot move the wedding to a later date – all docs have to be ‘not older than six months’.
Besides I was working full time this time and had no holidays in between as these vacation days are also needed in August and September. A tough time where we had small fights due to me being stressed and nervous from work but even more lovely moments until deep in the nights.
You want to spend as much time as possible together and therefore the evenings were extended up to two or sometimes even later in the night. Snuggling up in front of a movie, talking, eating, just time for us. The result is a major lack of sleep and the knowing that it won’t be easier with every goodbye. No, it’s getting worse. I thought we will get used to it to be apart and then back together but the truth is that I can’t wait for the day when we have one home where we both belong to without saying goodbye for two months.
This evening is kind of strange as I’m back to the being alone status and I don’t like it.
Skype will be started later on and no more real hugs and kisses.
I will start to write more again during the next weeks now, at least this is time filled with sense and I know my love will read it over there.

Stay faithful!

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Wedding brainstorming – part I

Wedding brainstorming – part IMy mind is crowded during these days with everything related to our planned wedding.
A wedding is exciting but what do you think a binational wedding is? I didn’t thought that it’s so hard to plan as you need to keep in mind the timeframe.
Biggest problem for us will be the final date.
As long as all personal documents from my future husband are under review we just can stay calm and wait for a reply. This reply is essential for the further planning as it could be good, means everything is ok and we can go ahead and schedule a date, but it could also be that we have to bring something additional and the whole package has to be send in again for a review.
As not even one of these papers has to be older than six month we are facing a tight schedule.
What does it mean exactly? It means we have to plan a whole wedding within a half year but we won’t be sure until around eight weeks before the wedding if it could really take place or if we have to start the whole process again.
Did someone ever planned a wedding within six month? I think that’s already a challenge but what about eight weeks?
The main problem is that we cannot invite someone more than eight weeks before as we will not have a date. And who will be able to confirm his or her attendance without exact dates?
Therefore we have no clue how many guests we will have, how much food we need or which location will fit.
A wedding planner will quit his job at this stage as its almost impossible to book a location within eight weeks unless you don’t care about how it looks like. I do care! The last I want for my wedding is a crappy location. To get out of this challenge we said we will have a small intimate celebration with just family and best friends around so that all will fit in the garden of my parents house.
This plan was nice until some became aware of our upcoming wedding.
The draft guest list went from around twenty five to fourth five within a couple of weeks.
It seems as if our loved ones are sure they will be able to attend without knowing a date, which is causing us the next problem. My parents garden is really so nice but it’s not a park!
Where to start and where to stop now? I have no idea, my fiancé will be here with me in a few days and I can’t wait to discuss all these things with him face to face instead of talking on Skype with interrupted connections from time to time.
Until then I try to stay calm and stop thinking too much. Everything happens for a reason and I believe in it even when reality let me struggle from time to time. As long as I can think it was fine in the end.
Faithfully, Miss Faith

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Love knows no distance

Love knows no distanceBelieve me, I know what I’m talking about! I never expected me to be in a situation like this, my love thousands of miles away from me, but it works.
Sure it’s not the best option but to be honest, it’s not that complicated. I wasn’t sure if it will work out when I was thinking about long distance relationships in the past. The present shows me that it does. But why is it working? Because of the persons themselves. If you are jealous beyond words you will have a big problem as well as when you have difficulties with trust. If you are loving and trusting from the bottom of your heart and if you are truthful and faithful, maybe even trusting that it was meant to be this way, then the love is growing more than in a day to day relationship, at least from my point of view.
Within a shorter timeframe you are knowing the other person just because you talk. Talking is essential for relationships and while being apart, what else could you do than talk? No one wants to stay quiet on the phone, on chats or on Skype, if that would be the case it cannot work. We miss each other each day and would be happy to stay together but as long as this is not possible we have to make the best out of it.
Another good thing about missing someone is that you will be even more happy when you finally are back together. Like falling in love over and over again whenever you have the chance to be together.
I’m sure that the time is limited as when it comes to planning a life together, a family and a future there must be a place called home. But until then we keep our spirits high, make the best out of each situation we have to faith and trust that there is a way for us together in the same place one day.
Life has no rules – we have to face everything as a challenge and believe that it will work.
Stay faithfully!

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Lonely in my flat

Lonely in my flatAfter my fiancé returned to Libya it was really strange. We were often outside for the already written about family visits and stuff like that but what we did is, that we did everything together!
The last weeks together in Munich we were painting my living room and made it more cosy for the two of us to enjoy every minute. My flat is now our flat, I emptied one wardrobe for his clothes and his shoes have a place next to mine at the front door. The couch area has lots of pillows on the floor which we bought together as well as two small tables where we sat on the floor to watch movies, listening to music and having tea or coffee. A bit of an Arabic style which I love so much.
When I returned from the airport it was a bit mean as there are so many memories in the flat. Not mean in a negative way because I love to have him around even if he is not here physically but mean when it comes to things like stepping inside and looking at his shoes. It gives the feeling of he is still around but he is not sitting in the living room.
Strange for me as I was so used to live alone after so many years and now it feels so wrong. From time to time I’m opening his wardrobe to smell him and after a few days I put his bathroom stuff out of the closet and put it next to mine in front of the mirror. I want to have him around me whatever I’m doing. Maybe that’s childish behavior but who’s making the rules? I feel better and so it is right for me.
In the end it’s just a matter of time until we are together again enjoying all this. He flew back beginning of December and probably will be back from work and back in Germany beginning/mid of February. I just have to go past the Xmas period and as I will spent this time with my family time will run, what’s left then is the nice month of cold, grey January and we are back together. Until then we bother Skype daily if possible and raise the missing. And to be honest, missing is something which is keeping a relationship more than alive. I don’t say that I want it for the rest of my life but for the time being we have no other choice and are making the best of it.
What is more romantic than waiting at the airport looking at each person coming out at the arrival gate until a bright smile covers your face when you finally see the one you were looking for. This is a scene replayed in so many movies – we are living our own movie.
Faith is keeping us moving on!

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Holidays to remember

Holidays to remember
After traveling a few places already I still have many vacation spots on my list to visit one day.
But the best things always happen unexpected.
After my year of struggling to get back on the feet it happened that I met my future husband. I wasn’t even thinking about a new relationship. My aim was to get along peacefully again just with me in my life.
Concentrating on a second person too was not my plan. But as I already wrote in a former post, there he was, entering my life without me being able to deny it.
To see him again we had to plan where and when.
As we both didn’t want to make it too complicated we just took the middle of the distance and decided that we meet on Cyprus.
No big hotel or all inclusive, we wanted to share daily life to see if we really are able to go along together in a near to normal surrounding.
We booked an apartment with a small kitchen, no restaurant, no breakfast buffet, nothing extra than in normal life also.
These holidays turned out to be the best we ever had although we both weren’t sure about it when we entered Cyprus from different continents and cultures.
Seventeen days to try daily stuff combined with holidays, relaxation and all of this in a nice surrounding.
Our apartment was in a small cypriot village and not in the tourism hotspots. It was interesting to discover routine things like stocking up the fridge, what to cook today, how do you drink your coffee in the morning, what may be bad habits the other one doesn’t like.
We met before but that wasn’t the same as the period was much more shorter and the main part for us was to become acquainted at all last time.
After our first meeting we were daily on Skype and talked several hours per night. This was the time where we shared our stories about childhood, how and where we were raised, when we started to work and as what, and also which aims we have for our life and which values count. I already thought during this time he could be the one.
I told him nothing about my feelings because struggles in normal circumstances or while living together should not be underestimated.
What we discovered on this small island is that we both like so many similar things, we have so much in common and most things were really easy going.
But the most important of all was that we indeed do love each other.
A feeling which cannot be described.
It was there and we felt it deep inside and it didn’t vanished up to today.
It’s growing each day.
On the last day we sat in a cafè and knew exactly what we want – a life together. Whatever we will face, as long as we are together, we will manage it.
You can think now how blue eyed Miss Faith maybe is…
First I’m green eyed and second is that we for sure have many things where we have to discuss, to make compromises, to even have small fights as our opinions are so different in some points.
But as long as we are talking and as long as we can say I love you it will not stop us from going this way together.
My grandmom told me one day that difficulties in life are there to manage them instead of running away. Giving up too quickly will never make you happy. And she was married more than fifty years to my granddad.
And what is important?
Here we go again…to keep the faith!

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