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Yogain‘t a Choice anymore

Yogain‘t a Choice anymore

It’s a lifestyle I can’t Escape, even if my inner lazy self would love too, once in a while.

I think I’m totally lost (some would say), lost in the sense of being unable to live without Yoga.

This journey started when I was lost and down to earth.

I was literally down on my knees because I treated myself not in the way I should have.

I guess everybody reaches a time in his / her life where you are forced to change something; something profoundly.

For me this change happened in 2011 and it was just the starting point. I wasn’t sure if my way would bring me up on my feet again or if I had to seek professional help one day.

Books and Yoga was my way and on top a single vacation which was needed more than I was aware when I planned it.

The adventure of my vacation is also on the blog:

First holidays on my own in Italy – part 1 (Arrival)

Ever since the decision to change my life the term Yoga is a present part of my life. Some days more and some days less, like waves. On days which are exhausting the waves are stronger and the urge to dive into my yoga is more present than on peaceful days.

Yoga has been my therapy. No, yoga is my therapy!

My drug, my realm, my happy place, my hideaway…it is bigger than visible for outsiders because so much takes place inside of me.

I may not be a typical yogi which raises the question what a typical yogi is.

This picture of how a yogi should be is changing fortunately because a yoga lifestyle is as individual as human mankind is. Nothing is typical, there are no rules on what need to be fulfilled, the only important point is: be authentic and live in a way you are feeling comfortable with!

Every yogi out there is following an individual path and none is better than the other. To learn not to judge others is a big lesson because we all tend to judge others.

How can she call herself yogi if she never stepped into a yoga studio?

How can she write about Yoga without being able to do a handstand?

How can she tell others she’s leading a yoga lifestyle if she is not rolling out her mat daily?

I can and I do because of all of this.

Who is able to tell you who you are, if not you yourself?

The first person being sure about how your life is going along, what path you are on, how you feel about certain topics, how happy you are is: YOU YOURSELF!

One of the biggest lessons in life for me has been that nobody except of me can tell me how I feel or who I am or what I need. I am in charge of it and I decide what I need and what I don’t need. I decide what I want and what I don’t want.

I tell you who I am and nobody else is telling me who they think I am!

Trust your journey and walk your path. This is the best advice I have to give simply because this is what I do. I may be wrong on my way but that’s fine, only if you walk in the wrong direction once in a while you will be able to readjust and turn things upside down to find your right direction.

You are worth to live in a way you want and if this includes yoga, religion, music, literature, any interest you have to feel better, then DO IT!

My way is the yoga way and this includes many side ways as well and at the end of the day my theme is “Yogain’t a choice any more” because it lives within me. Yours may be “Vegain’t a choice any more”, “Shambalain’t a choice any more” or whatever you choose / have Chosen for your life to have a profound impact-

Trust your journey and live it. Lots of love <3

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Yoga isn’t my religion

Yoga isn't my religion

Yoga isn’t my religion

This topic came up a few times since I started to practice Yoga and now I want to tell you that I can be a Yogi without being a Hinduist or a Buddhist!

Not everyone who is running into a Yoga Studio or carries a Yoga mat with him or her has suddenly a religion.

It’s not like “Buy one mat and get a religion for free”.

It is a fact that yoga works with each and every religion.

I am married to a Muslim and therefore I am in a couple of Facebook groups out of curiosity to read how other non Muslim women go along with their Muslim husbands.

What I realized quite quick is that many converted or reverted and are even more strict than a born muslim is.

We had the Yoga topic and I was bombarded with statements like “The wife of a muslim shoulnd’t do this!” as if I would instantly worship a “forbidden” religion.

Here’s my answer:

First of all, yes, my husband is a Muslim, but that doesn’t make me one automatically – like the buy one yoga mat it’s not “marry a Muslim and get his religion for free”. I’m still capable of choosing my own faith!

The second point is that I have never seen Yoga as a religion, why would I?

Many are discussing if you can practice Yoga and still hold your faith.

Why not?

The history of Yoga started around 5000 years ago and was connected to the Vedras which play a role in the roots of Hinduism.

What you can see nowadays, as they share the same language, is that some chanting refets to hindu gods.

Ok, but not every yogi is sitting in a class and is chanting in hindu (many are not even speaking nor understanding hindu so why would they do it?). There are many many people out there practicing yoga regularly whithout having chanted even once! I’m one of them.

I use mantras from time to time – uhuuhhh, what’s that?

A mantra is nothing else than any repeated word or phrase – in meditation you can use it for yourself to manifest certain things for your own life like for instance “Let go of …” or “Trust yourself and love yourself” – whatever is important for you rat that moment. Mantra comes from the Sanskrit word ‘meaning’.

The Yoga language is simply Sanskrit, the same way Christianity is in Latin but Latin itself is not a religion, Islam in Arabic but Arabic itself is not a religion and Judaism is in Hebrew but Hebrew itself is not a religion.

Yoga was even rejected by Hinduism because yoga would not insist that god exists. It didn’t say there was no god but just wouldn’t insist there was.

For me this is another proof that Yoga is not a religion and should not affiliate with any religion.

There’s not one religious creed to be found.

You don’t have to follow certain rituals, such as baptism or confirmation. You don’t have obligations like in several other religions, such as visiting the church or mosque for prayer, fasting, celebrating feasts or receiving sacraments.

What is it then if not a religion? Is it sports, fitness, a hobby?

No, yoga was formed as a way to sit for hours, days, months, maybe longer in a meditative state, as a spiritual practice.

It is a spiritual way of living.

It is a way that teaches you mindfulness, how to take care of your mind, body and soul and how to be a good person.

What about the yogis that eventually would like to reach the state of enlightenment?

This enlightenment will not turn them into a god or a worshiper of god!

It means that they are able to experience a state of inner peace, bliss, some are saying they’ve seen their inner light, they connected to their deepest inner self. But that’s indeed all – no religious sign.

It’s a journey to our inner self.

If I step on my mat I feel calm, I connect with myself and listen to my body, mind and soul.

I breate consciously and fade out the stress of the daily life.

It’s my time to unwind and relax while going in and out of different yoga poses that strengthen my body.

I listen to myself or am still and take the stillness as a recreation for my mind.

The time while I’m doing Yoga is simply the time where I am able to honor all I am and the people around me.

I feel blessed because in times of stillness you are able to connect to what really matters.

If it’s not my religion, why do I post Buddha quotes on my social networks from time to time?

Because I am in charge of who I am and what I like or dislike.

I love Buddha quotes but that doesn’t mean I am a Buddhist, I love quotes from ancient philosophers as well – there is lots of wisdom to be found in many directions and I don’t decide if I like it based on which religion the authors belonged to.

I choose what I like based on the words I read.

One last question was why I can say Namaste without being connected to Hinduism?

Do you have any idea what Namaste means?

My soul honors your soul.

I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides.

I honor the light, love, truth, beauty & peace within you, because it is also within me.

In sharing these things we are united, we are the same, we are one.

Said that I give you now my personal explanation; I’m open-minded and one rule for my life is to respect and tolerate every living being on this earth.

I would dare to say that I am a better person than someone else because it’s not my right to put myself in a higher position.

I appreciate my life how it is and therefore also honor or thank others because people teach people lessons.

I wouldn’t be where I am without all those people on this earth.

Sending love & light.

Namaste ॐ

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If religion seems to be a must

If religion seems to be a must

If religion seems to be a must

Which religion do you have?
I can say confidently “none”, as it is the truth.


How is that? Don’t most of us have a religion by birth?
Yes, probably many have. I had one as well but I have chosen the non-religious way.
And non-religious doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in something.
There will always be this “how to be good” thing within me.
There are times when I have the feeling as if I’m devilish, as if the devil is within me, just because I’m not written to religion.
True, my passport doesn’t contain that I am a Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist or whatever religion we may have on this world. And?


Am I a less valued person because of that?
I never killed, I never cheated on someone, I never have stolen something, isn’t that proof enough that I’m not the devil?
The struggle for me is that I will find something good in each and every religion on this world and that I will on the other hand find many bad things also in each and every religion on this
world. So what would be the correct answer?

I’m a Christian but I don’t like the institutional church, I’m a muslim but I don’t like the pressure to pray five times per day or the women suppression in some countries, I’m a Jew but I don’t like to eat kosher or I’m a Buddhist but love to eat beef?


To be religious you’re supposed to have one religion, that’s my problem.
I haven’t found the ONE religion yet and I’m not searching actually for the ONE.
Okay, you should never say never, I agree on that. Maybe one day my eyes will light up and then there is the one religion for me and I know exactly this is my thing.

But honestly, up to the day, if it may ever happen, who knows, I will stay like I am.
Wouldn’t that be a big lie, even worse than that, in a religious meaning, to say now I’m a Christian although I’m not totally convinced and I’m not standing 100% behind it?
When I was a baby I got the christening which means I’m Christian because I got it but that wasn’t my choice. I grew older and I have chosen not to be a Christian anymore, I have chosen not to pay for an institution which is from my point of view not what I expect.

I truly believe in so many things, just see my name “faith”, I believe in faith, I truly believe that there is something called destiny, things that are meant to be, I believe in trust, in honesty, I vowed to my husband that I will be there for him in good times and in bad times, I can say sorry if I know I did something wrong, I am thankful for the life I have, thankful for the people surrounding me, I believe in hope and sometimes in little wonders, isn’t that enough?
And yes, I’m against so many things, there shouldn’t be hate and war and people killing each other, but all this does not count as religion.
Do I not have the right to find my own path, my own way of life? As long as I am not harming anyone I think I have this right!
I believe in love!!!

Why this topic? I can explain it to you.
I’m married and my husband is a Muslim. This is not a problem at all for me or for him. As long as we love each other there is no need to fight about something. He lives his religion and it is going along perfectly with my way of living. We made some compromises like no pork in the fridge, no alcohol in our flat and so on. Why do authorities think they have the right to interfere? After the wedding we’ve got our German family book. So the next thing to apply for was the Libyan family book. And here we go where the struggle starts.
To accept me as his wife they want the certificate of my religion. I’m honestly angry, i’m legally his wife, I carry his name and they start to treat me as if I am nothing.
The story has not yet an end, let’s see how we will manage it.

Meanwhile the story had an end – they accepted my christening certificate, that seemed to be sufficient. If that’s correct stands on a different paper.

Bein stamped doesn’t make any sense for me at all, especially not when you look back in history or just open your eyes in the now. Crimes in the name of a religion. It will never be the religion itself but the people who interpret as they wish. The people who stamp themselves as belonging to a religion although from my perspective they aren’t religious, they abuse the religion for their evil and cruel actions.

I don’t want to get a stamp rather than human, because that’s what I am.

Being religious vs being spiritual – I choose spiritual as it feels more like me.

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My Islamic wedding

My Islamic wedding

What is that? Hadn’t I wrote just a few days ago that I’m so happy because I’m engaged? And now already a married wife, how quick is that?
It’s true, I married my fiancé, shortly after our return from the family visits but not in the way that we are now legally bonded husband and wife, we married in the Islamic way which is not legal in Germany.
Why did we do it?
The story started when I met him as I knew from the very first beginning that he is a Muslim and not only by birth, he’s living it. That doesn’t mean that he’s the super religious person as many think when hearing Muslim, but he’s sticking to his religion and believes in it by heart.
To go directly against preoccupied people, no, I’m not married to an extremist, Al Kaida member or self suicide Muslim, I’m married to a faithful person and to the greatest husband ever for me. And another no, he’s not putting pressure on me in any way, I am still free and still without religion.
I’m German and I know also persons around me who are Christians by heart and who believes in their religion just in a natural way, so nothing to even talk about but when it comes to Muslims you always have to justify and clarify and explain just because of the stupid extreme persons showing off something which has in my point of view nothing to do with religion. Sorry, I interrupted myself but that’s something I wanted to add.
So we did it in the Islamic way as it was important for my fiancé. You can consider it like kind of blessing. Similar to what Christians do when they went to a church. Gods mercy through the prayer and advise from an imam.
Ok, it wasn’t that easy to find an imam because I thought in first place we should choose a mosque with Arabic background but it was quickly proofed to be the wrong decision. I don’t know how often we went there in total and to how many persons we spoke but the bottom line was that a twenty something young so called imam started a speech about why he cannot do the wedding. He went so far to almost calling me ‘unpurified’, I don’t even want to write the words I heard unsaid about what he was thinking about me. My reaction was purely to say: honey, lets go, I don’t need to listen to someone like him, judging me without even being able to look at me while talking. This “imam” was looking at the wall behind me while trying to convince me that I have to regret everything I did in my life. I do not regret anything! I had good times and bad times and precious memories and memories which are not sunny and happy but in the end all this made me the person I am today. The person my fiancé fell in love with. Just later a sentence came to my mind which would have fitted: let him who is without sin cast the first stone. And I don’t even think that I have sins – I just lived, I never hurted anyone on purpose or lied about important things, I haven’t killed or stolen my neighbors husband, and so on, I just lived my life for the last thirty-five years and tried to be a good person along the way.
This is not worth talking about because we drove off and my fiancé was as angry as me.
Soon afterwards we found a small mosque nearby where people were almost enthusiastic to find the imam for us. Two old men were almost running stairs up and down to locate him for us.
A bit worried from the first experience I was waiting and then he asked us to come into his rooms.
A white haired old man with, which gave me a good feeling, a kind and calm expression on his face. The two others joined us as during an Islamic wedding you need two witnesses. It turned out to be good as the imam was only talking arabic and Turkish, so the witnesses were also my translators.
The imam was explaining what he will do, what’s the sense of agreeing on a wedding, that in their tradition a sum for the wife has to be written down and agreed on in case of the husband leaving the wife. What for sure is not a bad thing but what we – inshallah – will never need. He was so kind and asked me upfront if it would be OK for me to cover my hair for the celebration. I had a zebra scarf around my neck, maybe not the kind of cover he thought, and did it as even if I’m without a religion I have a deep respect before religious persons. Not only for the imam, also for priests, rabbis, whatever there is on the world, as long as they treat me with respect I respect them too. And he was respectful and even kind of funny as the wife has to agree three times that she’s willing to take the man as her husband and he told me that I have to say “OK” three times. He said OK, OK, OK and I repeated it.
The first time I have ever heard that as an agreement for a wedding, I know the “Yes, I do” but OK was not on my mind before. He said the prayer together with my newlywed husband and the witnesses and afterwards the three old men were congratulating us and wishing us all the best and a happy future together. The witness gave us our wedding documents and they led us out of the mosque. There we were, newlyweds, on a snowy Sunday afternoon in the middle of Munich and what should I say, I’m so happy that we did it.
It’s kind of weird as I never thought that it will change something for me but it is like the engagement day, when you don’t expect anything you will discover in the end, that these steps are changing your life. I’m called wife now from my husband and even if the legal wedding is more important for me as I will take on his last name on that day I feel like his wife already and am talking about my husband. And it has shown me another thing in life, be open-minded, don’t cut precious moments like this out of your life because you are pre-occupied. You never know how it would be unless you do it.
Keep the faith, it hasn’t to be religious but it could, just the way you feel comfortable with is the right one.

And I had a “wedding” piece of cake afterwards 😉

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Do I have to explain my life?

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Do I have to explain my life?
I recently asked me this question as I found myself in the situation of always explains that it’s not like that, that it’s different, that it’s not as they think…
What was it about. It was because I met my fiancé who’s not German. Even worse, he’s also not fitting into the European picture as he’s from the unknown continent Africa. Mystical stories about people there are in the heads of the common German or even in the heads of the common European. And for my story it’s even worse. Not only that he’s not European, he’s also a Muslim. All cliches existent, you can be sure I heard them already.
Where is he from? From Libya. Oh god, you will soon be sitting completely covered on a camel in the desert. Yes, that was exactly what I planned for my life was my answer. You can only reply in a sarcastic way to stupid comments like this.
But what I realized in myself was that each time I was asked about him I was already answering in a defensive way. Yes, he’s from Libya but he doesn’t want to marry me for a residence permit. Yes, he’s Muslim, but he’s open minded and it’s ok for him that I’m not religious at all. Yes, he has a big family in Libya but they will not influence him not to marry a non-muslim.
I saw myself acting like this and questioned myself. Why am I answering like this? Am I thinking the same way, are these my hidden fears? Definitely no. We talked hours over hours and are both completely aware that we led different lives up to now. I’m living on my own since years and was raised so freely. He was always close to his family and surrounded by them. As long as you are unmarried it’s normal to stay with your family whereas for me it was normal to leave when earning the first own money and to start a life on your own. Religion plays a big role in his life, which is even bigger as we are at the moment within the holy month of Ramadan. Whereas for me religion was present in an easy way from childhood into the teenage years and as adult I decided that Christianity is not my path and I signed out officially. So I am without any religion at all.
But, and this is what we realized very quickly, even if it seems so different from an outside position, we are not too different. My family is so close to me. We are not living together, not even in the same city, but if we don’t hear from each other like we are used to we feel incomplete. There are never more than two days without contact and news or changes or questions are discussed with my family before anyone else will know. And for the religious part, even if I don’t have one it doesn’t mean I’m unbelieving. I have values in my life, which I’m believing in, most of them already taught by my parents, who still are Christians, but I see them as values of life itself. Being honest, truthful, good to others, not cheating, not stealing, not lying, never harm anyone, don’t kill, don’t do something to others which you never want for yourself, and, and, and…
These are common values in life which also exist in each religion.
He met me like this, I found so many good things in different religions but I also found parts in them, where I cannot say that I agree on them. What I try is to live in the most valuable way I’m able too and to find inner peace with myself. Wherever this way leads to, I will see. And he is completely with me as he knows that I’m not worse than one with an official religion. You will find good and bad people everywhere, this is no proof.
He is him and me is me and we are happy that we found each other – so more more explanations why, how, when and where!
Maybe I write some day sitting on a camel, who knows…