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Balanced Mom or how to relax with a toddler

Balanced Mom or how to relax with a toddler

© by misssfaith2017 (1)

Who said motherhood is easy-going?

It isn’t!

Or better said, it isn’t always!

I was practicing Yoga before pregnancy, almost until the very end of my pregnancy and I started about six weeks after birth again to roll out my mat and loved it but what happened then?

My baby started to move around. I think that was the point when I began to let go.

You prepare the place and it looks so inviting and before you start he wakes up after a 5 minutes nap that should have been a 2 hour nap.

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And for sure you want your baby to grow and move and explore the world but not just at that moment when you are on your mat.

But that’s life – babies don’t care at all what you want and it is their right!

I’m always saying myself that I wanted him so much and that he deserves my attention. Life without him is unimaginable so what am I complaining about? But still, there’s a tiny voice inside of me saying that I deserve also some time for myself so I just started to check where to find this time because my yoga mat was invaded now by a toddler.

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In general letting go is something wonderful, letting go old nasty habits, letting go people who stress you, letting go old wounds, letting go bad memories BUT why should I let go my personal realm?

I didn’t want to let it go, it just happened and I was too weak to scream STAY.

There were these endless nights of no sleep and days without one free arm, hours and hours of carrying a baby followed by hours and hours of breastfeeding. And then you see these super-fit moms on Instagram who breastfeed their babies while being in a state of complete relaxation while standing upside down – yes, this is what I needed to be more frustrated even.

I love Jen Pastiloff’s No Bullshit Motherhood because that’s the truth!

We struggle more often than you can even imagine and all of a sudden the baby is asleep and then we worry if he or she is fine instead of using the time to relax, we think we need to be perfect but hey – we DON’T NEED to be perfect – we need to survive this crazy journey of being a mom to be there as we promised our babies in the very first second after birth.

“I’ll be there for you until the end of my life and beyond, my love for you will never die!”

My son is now 14 months and have no idea where all this love is coming from but I love him more each day although I thought it cannot be bigger than when we first met. BUT I am also tired on some days and stressed on others and sometimes both.

My Yoga practice is, let me call it, slightly irregular but I found out that I need less time to relax than before I was a mom. Less time because I know that I need to grab every second as this will be better than nothing so I relax while folding clothes, I relax while having a shower, I relax while being out for a walk when he sleeps, I relax these 5 minutes on the playground when he’s happily eating the sand again (it will improve his immune system, that’s what I tell myself because I cannot stop him anyway).

Today I had really time for yoga, my husband and my son had an afternoon nap and finally I rolled out my mat (to realize that I’m stiff like a wooden stick but who cares) and yes, it felt so so so good.

But more often the truth is that I try to squeeze in 5 minutes with a messy bun on my head just to have the feeling I haven’t lost my yoga at all.

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I know that this is just a phase and that things change, until then I will embrace this motherhood exactly the way it is! Mostly the best ever and sometimes just beyond my strengths.

Stay strong dear moms out there because you know what – WE ROCK (no men can even imagine what we are capable of and we should be proud of ourselves!)

Standing on the mat for a few deep breaths is sometimes all we manage but that’s fine because we feel alive and know that one day these few deep breaths are just the start of a whole new yoga practice because our children grew up and we miss them on our mats so deeply.

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I am thankful that I am experiencing all of this, even if it’s not easy from time to time, I just see my son and know it all is so worth it and everything happens for a reason!

Namaste ॐ Yogamamas

 

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Sunday Mornings

Sunday Mornings


My son snores to my left and my husband snores to my right and instead of standing up I stay in the bed and start to read a bit.

This time is rarely recently with a toddler.

He slept so late last night and is giving his mummy some rest in the morning now.

We are always talking about the little lion but he already snores like a big one.

How I love Sundays – they belong to the family and it may sound old fashioned but as soon as you have a child/children you know what I’m talking about.

I don’t know yet what we will do today but what I can see through the closed curtains is that the weather is great. 

I will wait for them to wake up and then we will decide together.

I wish you a peaceful and sunny Sunday as well.

Take care!

Hello…someone’s there, I want to join your life…

Hello…someone’s there, I want to join your life…

It took us less than two months until I had a new positive pregnancy test in my hands and this time the excitement was completely different.

© by misssfaith2017 (1)

We were so happy but at the same time completely scared – what if?

There was this what if it happens again and I tried to get it out of my mind as often as possible but it was always lingering around.

This little baby doesn’t deserve a worried and scared mom, it should get all the endorphins a happy mom produces so most of the time I put the ‘what if’ thought aside.

We found out very early as I was tracking my cycle after the first one. I was just 4 weeks pregnant when I had the test in my hand and we started a close schedule of gynecologist appointments for the first weeks mainly to be reassured that all is fine.

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Our holidays were booked already and during that time I would be around 9 weeks, the same time when we lost our first, so we went for one last check-up before we started to drive to Italy.

In Italy we started to relax and more and more to enjoy this pregnancy and to look forward to the months to come.

This little bean was fed with the best Italian food for almost 3 weeks and swam in the sea with us. We drove back completely relaxed and happy.

Once we hit the 12 week milestone we started to tell others and I finally could walk with a smile on my face.

I had the most wonderful pregnancy you can wish for, no morning sickness, no cramps, no bleeding, no nothing – just a tiny bean that was happily growing inside of me.

I will give you some pregnancy impressions in the posts to come so stay with me if you like to read more.

This baby wasn’t meant to be

This baby wasn’t meant to be

After 6 weeks in pink clouds and the most happy state I ever have been in with visits to the ultrasound, hearing a tiny heartbeat, seeing already arms and legs on a tiny embryo I started to bleed a bit.

That can happen and doesn’t mean something bad is going to follow.

In our case unfortunately something bad followed.

“There is no heartbeat!”

These words were touching me again at the core of my being like the positive test I held in my hand 6 weeks earlier – only this time it wasn’t the happy touch but the sad touch.

Our baby has no heartbeat anymore – we won’t have a baby boy or girl at the end of November around my own birthday, why is this happening, did I something wrong, is it my fault, all these thoughts were running wildly through my mind while my husband was asking what we need to do now, how will it go on, the little embryo cannot remain in my belly.

You get options and from the first second it was clear for me that there is only one option for me – let my body do the work. It’s a complete natural process and I didn’t want to go to a hospital, get a surgery with all those risks, I wanted the natural way to be sure everything else is still there and nobody cuts too much.

As we surely knew already then that this is not the end of our baby story and that a new pregnancy happens often soon afterwards this decision was easy made.

The coming weeks weren’t easy but worth it. I had time to let go, time to give my body the rest it needs, time to recover, physically and psychically.

After the so called little birth we went to the gynecologist to check if all is fine and yes, it was.

I have to say that I’m really proud of my body. A human body is a wonder, it can do much much more than we imagine. We should trust our bodies more often instead of going the way which looks easier. The little nest was empty, all that belonged to our baby was gone but the nest was still there and ready to be filled again.

This thought of having built a tiny cosy nest for a sibling was easing my mind and made sense. Our baby was surely not OK, otherwise it would’ve stayed to grow but it had a very important task in his/her life – it prepared a home for a brother or sister to settle in.

© by misssfaith2017

Momlife

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Hello my dears,

I’m not sure how many of you are still there as I abandoned my blog for quite a long time.
But for those who are still with me – Thanks Thanks Thanks!
And for those who decide to join in – you are very welcome!

I need to go over the published posts, I need to sort out, I need to shape and renew my blog but most of all I need to WRITE.

I indeed missed writing and as my life profoundly changed while this blog was laying on ice I’m happy if I find the time to.

As you can read in the title “Momlife” this is the profound change ❤️
Since April 2016 I am a mom and I couldn’t imagine something more wonderful than this state of being.
This little boy turned our world upside down and he’s so so so wonderful.
There are so many stories to tell – how was the pregnancy, my birth story, when do we sleep 😴, are we good parents, how is this little boy developing, how do I manage to work with a toddler, and and and.
Besides being a mom I still remain me and also here are challenges to write about.
Do I still stick to my Yoga practice, how is meditation working, can I remain the old me with a baby, the more I think about it all the more topics I have on my mind.

Let’s see how regular I will be able to write and publish.
I don’t set myself a goal (not yet at least) and let it happen.
If it’s only a short post once in a while then it is like that, if it’s more than that I’m happy.

Happy to be back and I hope to read comments from you soon.
What do you want to know, what should I write about, how do you manage kid and blog and husband and work and household and and and.

Take care 🕉