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Mommy time is night time…

Mommy time is night time…

…or better said the time when everyone is asleep besides herself.

When to relax and finally have just a little “Me” time?

When nobody wants something from me. When no child is tired or cranky or needs mommy. When my husband is completely busy like now on the phone with his Libyan guys or if he sleeps next to our son.

Time for me and instead of actually DOING something I’m laying next to a snoring toddler in a half dark bedroom and I type. I type my thoughts out of my brain and onto this blog (which started as a combined yoga/relationship/life wisdom blog and feels now like a one in a million mom blog).

I have so many things I would long to do but right here right now I’m too lazy to go back to the living room even if I know there’s some nicely prepared fruit on the table and that means what?

I am exhausted and tired.

Moms are sometimes exhausted and tired and yes, that’s ok!

Even more, it has to be like that!

I mean, seriously, let a man do what we accomplish day in and day out and hear what he will say.

I don’t doubt that there are some men out there who are able to handle our job perfectly, absolutely! But the focus lays on ‘some’. The majority will break down latest on the morning of day two (if not already after a messy day one).

Did I just mention my husband?

He came in and told me that he ate ALL the fruit while being on the phone and now he cuts a nectarine for me and I eat it in bed 😊

We need to be pampered once in a while!

People water plants day by day but they forget their spouses.

If your wife is having a warm dinner ready for you EACH evening, show her that you appreciate it – we need these things like plants need water!

I want to do some yoga since weeks and what am I doing instead?

Laying in bed eating nectarines. And should I tell you something? That’s OK! My muscles are sore anyway because I went the past two days with the bicycle to the kindergarten and as always last minute, so I simply deserve this moment now because I do enough!

I run through my life, from kindergarten to work, from work to kindergarten, from kindergarten to household to cooking to grocery shopping to playtime in between all of this and to being a wife in the evening when our son sleeps.

Isn’t that schizophrenia?

I understand each and every single mom out there who is about to shout a loud Stop once in a while.

We are no machines and we need time to be just ourself.

At least a few minutes. Please.

I go ahead and eat my nectarines now and just take this moment as a “that’s exactly what I need right now ” moment!

No regrets!

Take care of yourself my dear moms – you all are doing a fantastic job!

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Let’s make memories…

Let’s make memories…

Let's Make (1)

Here’s to a well deserved vacation for the three of us – mom, dad and toddler – yeah!

Better last minute than not at all!

We booked very very last-minute but who said that you cannot be spontaneous with a child?

Sure you can!

Crete – a sunny summer destination

So our next trip will bring us to the island of Crete. Any tips are welcome, we are ready to explore.

I’ve been to Greece before but Crete is completely new to me. My husband hasn’t been there as well but maybe by coincidence we found out that the southern part of Greece is facing the Libyan sea 🙂

In general my Libyan husband seems not to be too wrong on that island, the climate is close to what he knows very well from Libya. Which brings me to myself, puuuh, I may discover the Cretan nights if the sun is too hot during daytime. As our son is a little night owl this would work out as well.

Anyway, whatever the weather will be, it will be an experience!

Spontaneous trips or planned schedules – an in-between

I’m not planning, just checking a bit before we leave. That’s the German part of our family, I want to know at least a bit before I travel to a new place. But in the end, all we need is a place to stay (we booked that), food (I’m sure there is plenty of wonderful Greek food available) and us!

Everything else will be discovered while strolling around. Our son is the professional here as he sees many things we would not realize without him. Ants, puddles (even the tiniest), insects in general, holes where he can stick his fingers in, ice cream cones (the new favorite) and many more interesting things. The word boredom is not in his vocabulary yet. Means I’m sure we won’t be bored.

Just now when I’m almost ready to leave my job for three weeks I find the time to write a short update here.

It’s a shame! Why do we always push the things we love aside instead of  giving us space for them?

A bit “Me”-time

One of my small goals for this vacation is to free myself from nonsense and focus on the things I love and which inspire me. Re-discover the happiness!

If you miss something but cannot find the time for it, breaking through these vicious circles isn’t always easy.

I miss my Yoga, really, as if I’m missing a good old friend! And this is not because I forget about it but because I’m often too busy in the mornings, too occupied during the day by my job and then my child (which is his right!) and too tired in the evenings. Finding time is often not easy but it’s not impossible! We can adjust, plan, move, what is holding us back?

Let’s make some changes.

Change is needed – I will try to take a few minutes each day just for myself. Yoga and a time-out (and when I find some more time I promise I will write!).

Focusing on new things is ahead, if not during a vacation, when then?

Until then I say goodbye to get ready for our first flight as family and for a serene and relaxing vacation on Crete.

Cheers

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The Magic of being a Mother

The Magic of being a Mother

The Magic of being a Mother (1)

Yesterday was mother’s day, the day where mothers are cherished a bit more than normal.

Shouldn’t we be celebrated daily? I mean, honestly, aren’t we doing extraordinary jobs day in and day out?

Yes, we do and we know deep down in our heart. And you know what? All the people around us know this as well, they just don’t tell us daily.

There’s lots of sparkle and magic around us, we are just often too blind to see it. If we could once see ourselves through the eyes of our children we would know.

If I feel exhausted, tired and crappy I doubt that I would smile to my own face in the mirror BUT my son is looking at me and smiles, he’s kissing me and hugs me in the morning with a look on his face as if there’s nothing better than having morning snuggles in bed with me.

He doesn’t care if my hair isn’t sorted or if I have an imprint of the pillow on my cheek – he sees his mom, his shelter, his world, his universe – he see’s me with a childish purity and this purity is what we lost along the way while growing up.

For him I sparkle even on my worst days. For him I am surrounded by magic day in and day out (he is Crafted by Magic). I can blow away the pain if he got hurt, I can give hugs which save him from bad dreams, I can do so many things he sees as magic and I want to keep him in his little bubble of pure happiness for as long as I can.

We went out of the city yesterday and while being at a lake it started to rain heavily but instead of leaving we ate crepes and watched the rain.

We are the ones who show how life is, if I run and hide each time I see a raindrop my child will do it too. Why don’t we follow our children once in a while and jump into puddles simply because it is so much fun?

There was a thunderstorm in the evening when we were back home and we stood in the darkness on the window and were waiting excited for the lightning, counting the seconds until the thunder was following. These are the magic moments of motherhood, stillness, awe, magic, thunder and lightning, life in its purest form, scared hugs to realize after a while that mom isn’t scared so I can let go as well and enjoy the sound of the rolling thunder.

You see – my mother’s day wasn’t all sunny and pink and flower-ish BUT it doesn’t have to be to be a wonderful day. What makes my mother’s day perfect and any other day as well is the wonderful child I am allowed to raise and my husband who shows me maybe not daily how wonderful I am but who sees with his heart and that’s the magic we all need in our life!

Happy Mother's Day

This heart

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Back to the New Normal of Parenthood

Back to the New Normal of Parenthood

Back to the New Normal of Parenthood

Another mom post – mmmh – yes and no, I would call it HUMAN but mum influenced.

When you are only responsible for yourself these things like “am I a role model” or “what do others think” seem not to be important at all. OK, for some the second point is their life but let’s go away from those 🙂

What I mean is, I lived my life before I was a mom just the way I wanted to – I never thought of being a good example – I did what I wanted and what I deemed for myself to be correct and that’s it.

Now I see it slightly different because I have to be a good example, especially at the moment with a little parrot toddler.

My child is showing me where I can improve to be a better person on the one hand and on the other I realize that there are many things which I don’t want him to learn as being normal in this world.

It’s funny how wonderful my own childhood is now in my memory. It was wonderful but people tend to remember things brighter as they were. Surely not everything was better and I don’t want to sound like an old grumpy lady stating everything was better in the past because that’s not true but there were VALUES and I start to miss many of them nowadays.

I see children with no respect, running into adults without saying sorry, taking toys for granted and many seem to have no behavior anymore.

I don’t want my son to be that kind of child. He learns that respecting others is important because he wants to be respected as well. He learns that everyone makes mistakes and saying sorry is not a sign of weakness, saying thanks and please is something we live, he learns it as being normal and that’s how I learned it as well when I was a child.

We don’t bury him under the newest toys and gadgets for toddlers because it’s simply not needed. Children are so wonderfully innocent and find always something to play with, I don’t want to take away his curiosity and fantasy because that’s what is so precious in growing up. A simple carton box can be his toy for several days and only he knows what he is playing but if you watch him he’s the happiest little boy on earth.

The new normal is the headline, maybe you realize already what I mean.

I’ve seen a little girl recently which wanted to look like Elsa and I have no idea who Elsa is and had to google it. She’s influenced at the age of not even two by an artificial figure and wants long blond hair and princess dresses “to be also so beautiful”.

A little boy (around 4 to 5 years) is telling his mom in the supermarket that he wants to go home because he is too stressed and wants to relax.

These are only two examples from many many others I could give.

Where is the carefree childhood? Why do girls think they need to look like someone else to be beautiful, why does a boy at the age of four even know the word stressed?

It’s us!

We are the ones who have to give them the carefree childhood they deserve, it’s us who have to protect them from thinking they are not beautiful because they are the most beautiful humans on earth! We need to protect them and give them all the time they need to develop and grow without knowing what the word stress even means.

They need us to assure them day by day that they are perfect the way they are, that they can trust we are there for them whatever may happen, that they are cared for and loved endlessly, this is what they need to build a strong self-confidence, not figures like Elsa or a full calendar at the age of four.

I want to be like daddy, I want to be like mommy – aren’t these the sentences which proof that we are doing our job?

I sit down on the floor and I build castles out of sand, we snuggle and giggle and hide under blankets, we run in a goofy way through the house and can’t stop laughing – these are the memories I want my son to share with his children one day, not that he loved a movie character when he was three and the Chinese teacher (which seems to be a new trend as well) was his best friend at the age of three.

Let’s start a new normal, let’s be the old-fashioned parents who don’t start to park their children in front of the TV, who don’t support this big movie toy/gadget market out there, who choose to be retro if you want to call it like that in a modern way. We don’t have drive cars without seats for our children because we know better than the generation of our parents how dangerous it can be, but we still don’t need the iPad adapter for the back seats because we can sing all children’s songs loud in the car.

I love to go back to the old style with the knowledge from today!

Greetings from the new normal mom <3

 

 

 

 

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There was a time…

 

There was a time

There was a time…

When I had plenty of time – day in and day out. I started to draw and paint to live the creative part of me. I started to do Yoga to move my body and still my mind.

I had time to go to get my nails done, to sit in a café and just watch people walking by while slowly drinking a huge latte macchiato, I had regular hairdresser appointments and lots of time for shopping.  I spent lots of time on writing and even more on reading, reading real paper books.

This time has gone!

I have no time at all, this is a feeling that implanted itself into my brain.

I need to rush through my life because everything is planned and organized and if I get off this schedule tragedies will happen.

I rush to the Kindergarten to be in time before they start their day, I rush back to work, I squeeze appointments in between my work schedule as I cannot attend them with my son. I rush to the Kindergarten to pick him up and run with him through the supermarket because he’s tired and cranky. I rush back home and hope he sleeps so that I can finish my work and prepare dinner, when he wakes up there’s no possibility that I sit on my desk as he will go mad.

We need to play (which is his right!) and that’s the first time where I can slow down a bit. After dinner he’s fully awake and energized to enjoy a long evening with us which means not really time for me to do something creative or watch a movie without interruption, a bit of Yoga works as he starts to like that. It’s late when the day ends and sleeping without me is still rarely happening and instead of reading a few “pages” on my e-book I check emails in bed and hope he’s sleeping deeply soon so that I can take a shower before my eyes close because I’m so tired.

Is this the life I imagined with a child? No. Is this how life just is as a working mum? No.

I think I had to go through this to realize something…

No tragedies happen if I’m off the schedule!

Surely work needs to be done and there will always be days like this BUT it’s up to me to change the majority of days to a more relaxed and flexible schedule.

The more relaxed I am, the more relaxed my son is.

We listen to music in the morning while getting ready to leave the house and we snuggle a while, that’s MORE important than sitting five minutes earlier in my office.

These moments won’t come back!

My office day is scheduled, there’s no way to be completely relaxed there as we have timelines and things need to be done in time but that’s just a matter of prioritizing my work and have proper to-do-lists. If I work highly concentrated instead of being distracted by stressed thoughts about what comes next I work in a more efficient way and yes, more de-stressed. If I need to finish something in the evening anyway why not to drive to the supermarket before I pick my son up? This way I’m faster and my son can go home from the kindergarten right away and snuggle up for a good sleep. I prepare dinner, I work, I am finished when he wakes up and we can do some great things together – we can finish cooking on days I didn’t manage to and he loves the kitchen, or we play or we go to the playground for a while, or we bath him, or or or.

I may not have the time still to work on my paintings, to write lots, to read lots, but I find time to enjoy, I find time to look at a caterpillar as if I discovered something completely new because my son shows me how to do that.

We go outside and search the whole sky until we find a plane or the moon or even both. We start to walk and stop again because there’s a cat climbing up a tree and we follow her to see where she goes.  My little love is not even two years old.

He learned a ton of things in his life already and he is ruling our day!

I am his mother and it’s my task to be at his site, to carry him when he’s tired, to feed him when he’s hungry, to show him this world and to go on my knees to face him on his level.

It’s my life as his mother and I love to do all of this because he should be the happiest child on this planet.

I’m able to write (as you can see), it isn’t as regularly as it once was but does that matter? I’m able to do things just for myself, they are limited and not much but that’s OK. I’m able to draw once in a while, I’m able to do many things I used to do but is that really important right now? No, it isn’t.

Important right now is that we live in this very moment because these days pass by like crazy. My little baby is a toddler already and he soon will be doing things on his own and doesn’t want me to help him or to play with him. I don’t want to miss these days and look back one day to regret that I wasn’t crawling on the floor, checking what is under the table or under the couch, just because it makes him laugh in such a giggling wonderful way. I will have plenty of time in the future for all the other things but right now every minute spent with this little bunch of pure happiness is all I need.

There was is a time…it’s called NOW!

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Are there still real blogs or is everyone sponsored?

Are there still real blogs or is everyone sponsored?

Real Blog

I would lie if I wouldn’t think about sponsored blog posts, it’s nice if you get something for your work, isn’t it?

I mean, honestly, I write because I love to write and I publish my writing because?

Because I would love to start discussions, receive some feedback, connect with others BUT this won’t happen. It’s not happening because this tiny blog here is my hobby.

I’m not professional when it comes to setting up a blog because I have no time for it – I’m a mom, a full-time worker, a wife, a woman, I cannot be as professional as someone who works in that area.

But what I am, and this is something I can ensure, I am real.

So what? I am happy and thankful for the few readers I have and my eyes light up whenever I receive a comment on one of my posts because it’s something special.

I may not be perfect but who is?

What I wonder about indeed is this whole influencer story. What means influencer? I try to influence my readers, followers, friends, family, correct?

Do I want to influence or rather be someone who is showing reality?

This feeling that everyone recently is sooooooo excited and soooooooo in love with each and every new item is something I don’t believe.

Many influencers are sitting in their stylish clean designer house, they drive the newest car and have the happiest marriage, their kids are little dressed up mannequins and life is perfect. That’s what they show us.

But is that what we want to see? Really?

Where are the messy moms who barely are able to shower once per day because either a cranky kid is hanging on her leg or she is just too tired in the evening after a day full of work, grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, kids and who prefer to spend an hour sitting on the floor building wooden castles instead of blow drying their hair for the perfect look?

Where are the wives with not so perfect marriages, the women who would love to wipe a shiny floor again for a YouTube video but who struggle to walk through the house without stepping on toys.

Where are all of you?

Don’t tell me I’m the only one with a messy life, the only one who dreams of a spa weekend (or better week) but who would miss her kids and her husband too much to leave them behind?

I think I knocked myself latest with this post out of the influencer circle unless there is someone out there who wants an authentic opinion.

I like that yogurt because I really like it or I don’t like the yogurt because it sucks. I can explain both scenarios, don’t worry, but I would not tell you it’s so delicious that I recommend it to everyone out there. Maybe you want a messy mom, then this here is my application.

A blog with a handful of real readers, a twitter account that is linked to everything I post but where I have no idea if someone indeed read something there, an Instagram account which I absolutely love and which has quite a decent number of followers but the majority of them is either sleeping 24/7 or lost their phones as interaction is rarely, ah, and my Facebook account, I love facebook but also there the interaction mainly takes place in secret mommy groups instead of public on my profile.

I can recommend everything I like and I indeed do and maybe even be able to influence, but I cannot sell a fridge to a penguin and I don’t want to do that either.

Are you real or are you sponsored?

#thisisNOTasponsoredpost 😉

 

 

 

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Sleeping without mommy

Sleeping without mommy

Sleeping without mommy

I’m sitting in the kindergarten and am not believing what I’ve seen.

My son, the little one who sleeps only with me or his dad, is actually sleeping.
It’s the first day where we wanted to try if he may sleep and he’s surprising us all.

This little bunch of energy was on the arm of his kindergarten teacher and she rocked him into sleep.
Help, this is another point which seems to be harder for me as a mom than for him during this integration phase.

My baby does not need me.

I know I know – it’s not true and surely he needs me and I will be there for him until my last breath but these mini steps away from me always show me how grown up he already is.

The tiny baby is walking through his toddler life and he has a strong will and confidence – we gave him the unconditional love and he knows he can count on us.

He trusts and when I say “I pick you up later, my love” he knows that I will be there.
My heart is bursting – I’m so proud of this little fellow ♥️

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Hello…someone’s there, I want to join your life…

Hello…someone’s there, I want to join your life…

It took us less than two months until I had a new positive pregnancy test in my hands and this time the excitement was completely different.

© by misssfaith2017 (1)

We were so happy but at the same time completely scared – what if?

There was this what if it happens again and I tried to get it out of my mind as often as possible but it was always lingering around.

This little baby doesn’t deserve a worried and scared mom, it should get all the endorphins a happy mom produces so most of the time I put the ‘what if’ thought aside.

We found out very early as I was tracking my cycle after the first one. I was just 4 weeks pregnant when I had the test in my hand and we started a close schedule of gynecologist appointments for the first weeks mainly to be reassured that all is fine.

© by misssfaith2017 (3)

Our holidays were booked already and during that time I would be around 9 weeks, the same time when we lost our first, so we went for one last check-up before we started to drive to Italy.

In Italy we started to relax and more and more to enjoy this pregnancy and to look forward to the months to come.

This little bean was fed with the best Italian food for almost 3 weeks and swam in the sea with us. We drove back completely relaxed and happy.

Once we hit the 12 week milestone we started to tell others and I finally could walk with a smile on my face.

I had the most wonderful pregnancy you can wish for, no morning sickness, no cramps, no bleeding, no nothing – just a tiny bean that was happily growing inside of me.

I will give you some pregnancy impressions in the posts to come so stay with me if you like to read more.

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Momlife

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Hello my dears,

I’m not sure how many of you are still there as I abandoned my blog for quite a long time.
But for those who are still with me – Thanks Thanks Thanks!
And for those who decide to join in – you are very welcome!

I need to go over the published posts, I need to sort out, I need to shape and renew my blog but most of all I need to WRITE.

I indeed missed writing and as my life profoundly changed while this blog was laying on ice I’m happy if I find the time to.

As you can read in the title “Momlife” this is the profound change ❤️
Since April 2016 I am a mom and I couldn’t imagine something more wonderful than this state of being.
This little boy turned our world upside down and he’s so so so wonderful.
There are so many stories to tell – how was the pregnancy, my birth story, when do we sleep 😴, are we good parents, how is this little boy developing, how do I manage to work with a toddler, and and and.
Besides being a mom I still remain me and also here are challenges to write about.
Do I still stick to my Yoga practice, how is meditation working, can I remain the old me with a baby, the more I think about it all the more topics I have on my mind.

Let’s see how regular I will be able to write and publish.
I don’t set myself a goal (not yet at least) and let it happen.
If it’s only a short post once in a while then it is like that, if it’s more than that I’m happy.

Happy to be back and I hope to read comments from you soon.
What do you want to know, what should I write about, how do you manage kid and blog and husband and work and household and and and.

Take care 🕉