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On the road

On the road

On the road

While John Mayer’s Album Continuum is playing (which makes me feel good but also weird old as it’s quite old already), my husband is driving our car towards my parents, and my son is holding my hand after he threw his shoe at me, I decided to use this quiet time and type (left-handed because my right hand is occupied from some sticky toddler fingers).

I start to enjoy spending the time in the car in the back next to my son – it’s relaxed. We have created a little living room here, some toys, some sweets, enough to drink, water wipes, a book, charging cable for my phone, a pillow and his baby blanket. What more can we ask for?

Sometimes I miss driving, but often I just enjoy that I don’t have to.

Time in the road was mostly some “lost” time except of course that it brings us to the places we want to go, but these hours in the back of the car are now filled with laughter and fun, with silly singing, snuggles and sleep, with watching the trees and cities go by and (as now) with time to write down my thoughts in a safe space with a sleepy child next to me.

While I type my husband tries every feature our car has, from autopilot to Chinese navigation settings, happy that I seem not to notice that he speeds up and extra happy that I don’t say something to interrupt his “toy” time. Men 🙂

How life has changed.

We are the same yet completely different.

We are parents but still love what we did before this little boy stole our hearts.

I imagined how I will write blog posts while he naps and my husband thought he will watch his soccer games in the evenings while he sleeps – he taught us how life works.

He hates naps when he senses that I may do something that could be interesting for him. He also prefers to sleep only when minimum mommy, even better both of us, are also in the bed. So no more uninterrupted TV time.

And what do we do? We learn to adapt, we shift priorities, we embrace the life as it is now, we love him to the moon and back and we are grateful to learn so much as he shows us what really matters.

We are on the road, our life, our alleys with blooming trees and our dark slippery bumpy roads through dark places, wherever we go, we have the assurance that we can count on each other and that we will make it, we step over stones and take hurdles because we are responsible, not only for ourselves but also for the light that is shining day in day out, for this little heart-thief, the one who makes us a we and us three a family.

Whatever road you are on right now – go, glide, step, slide, walk steady and confident. Adapt to the surface but keep your eyes straight forward. Be on it now and feel this very moment in time.

Love, from the road ❤️

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Balanced Mom or how to relax with a toddler

Balanced Mom or how to relax with a toddler

© by misssfaith2017 (1)

Who said motherhood is easy-going?

It isn’t!

Or better said, it isn’t always!

I was practicing Yoga before pregnancy, almost until the very end of my pregnancy and I started about six weeks after birth again to roll out my mat and loved it but what happened then?

My baby started to move around. I think that was the point when I began to let go.

You prepare the place and it looks so inviting and before you start he wakes up after a 5 minutes nap that should have been a 2 hour nap.

© by misssfaith2017 (8)

And for sure you want your baby to grow and move and explore the world but not just at that moment when you are on your mat.

But that’s life – babies don’t care at all what you want and it is their right!

I’m always saying myself that I wanted him so much and that he deserves my attention. Life without him is unimaginable so what am I complaining about? But still, there’s a tiny voice inside of me saying that I deserve also some time for myself so I just started to check where to find this time because my yoga mat was invaded now by a toddler.

© by misssfaith2017 (5)

In general letting go is something wonderful, letting go old nasty habits, letting go people who stress you, letting go old wounds, letting go bad memories BUT why should I let go my personal realm?

I didn’t want to let it go, it just happened and I was too weak to scream STAY.

There were these endless nights of no sleep and days without one free arm, hours and hours of carrying a baby followed by hours and hours of breastfeeding. And then you see these super-fit moms on Instagram who breastfeed their babies while being in a state of complete relaxation while standing upside down – yes, this is what I needed to be more frustrated even.

I love Jen Pastiloff’s No Bullshit Motherhood because that’s the truth!

We struggle more often than you can even imagine and all of a sudden the baby is asleep and then we worry if he or she is fine instead of using the time to relax, we think we need to be perfect but hey – we DON’T NEED to be perfect – we need to survive this crazy journey of being a mom to be there as we promised our babies in the very first second after birth.

“I’ll be there for you until the end of my life and beyond, my love for you will never die!”

My son is now 14 months and have no idea where all this love is coming from but I love him more each day although I thought it cannot be bigger than when we first met. BUT I am also tired on some days and stressed on others and sometimes both.

My Yoga practice is, let me call it, slightly irregular but I found out that I need less time to relax than before I was a mom. Less time because I know that I need to grab every second as this will be better than nothing so I relax while folding clothes, I relax while having a shower, I relax while being out for a walk when he sleeps, I relax these 5 minutes on the playground when he’s happily eating the sand again (it will improve his immune system, that’s what I tell myself because I cannot stop him anyway).

Today I had really time for yoga, my husband and my son had an afternoon nap and finally I rolled out my mat (to realize that I’m stiff like a wooden stick but who cares) and yes, it felt so so so good.

But more often the truth is that I try to squeeze in 5 minutes with a messy bun on my head just to have the feeling I haven’t lost my yoga at all.

© by misssfaith2017 (7)

I know that this is just a phase and that things change, until then I will embrace this motherhood exactly the way it is! Mostly the best ever and sometimes just beyond my strengths.

Stay strong dear moms out there because you know what – WE ROCK (no men can even imagine what we are capable of and we should be proud of ourselves!)

Standing on the mat for a few deep breaths is sometimes all we manage but that’s fine because we feel alive and know that one day these few deep breaths are just the start of a whole new yoga practice because our children grew up and we miss them on our mats so deeply.

© by misssfaith2017 (9)

I am thankful that I am experiencing all of this, even if it’s not easy from time to time, I just see my son and know it all is so worth it and everything happens for a reason!

Namaste ॐ Yogamamas