Being able to spend time alone…
…is so very important. A full schedule every day of the week just because you are not able to cope with yourself cannot be healthy. It’s essential to know how to spend time alone and to cherish these times. Regardless of sitting on the couch and watch weird things on TV or reading a good book, just being alone shows us that we are we and only if we can be happy with ourselves we will be able to make others happy. I love it from time to time to do only things for me and these things can be thousands of different situations. Reading while eating lots of chocolate, listening to music on an open window with the sun on my face, not talking, not even picking up the phone for two hours. Your friends will still be there after three hours when you are in the mood to call them back.
Being able to spend time alone…
Struggling to get into a meditation rhythm
I don’t know if you ever tried it but when I first thought about meditation I bought a small book which told on its cover that you learn quickly how to meditate.
I read it and that’s it. No inspiration, no guiding, no motivation for me at all.
I put it aside but the thought about needing something to stop my mind running in circles was still present. I took my iPad and downloaded some free apps with meditations to listen to and here I started.
Just using the earplugs and listening to it is the easiest way to start instead of reading lots of instructions. What happened for several times is that I just fell asleep after a while but that was fine for me. The women telling me what to do, how to breath, what to focus on, etc. has such a calm voice and in combination with quiet background music it’s really inviting you to have a nap. But again I wasn’t doing it regularly as I planned and I’m still not found a rhythm for myself. What’s the worst about it is that I see myself in front of stupid stuff on TV telling myself that this is relaxing time although I know I’m totally wrong. To change a manifested behavior is not as easy as I thought in first place. So if anyone has tips and tricks on how to change it please let me know. One thing I realized is that even the few nights were helping me getting rid of TV in my bedroom which is already a good thing. I turned back to what I was used to and am reading again. Maybe I’m expecting too much from myself which also isn’t unusual for a perfectionist. And in the end, the big question, what is meditation? Can’t it be a state of just doing something else instead of running in circles on your mind? If yes than reading already would be kind of meditation as its easing. During the time I read I focus on the story and not about problems, work, what to do next, what still isn’t finalized, and and and…
If I start thinking too much I take the earplugs and its calming me down. This will not be the end of this journey as I honestly want to get rid of stupid behavior like staying up too long without a sense but I think I have to accept and also to appreciate that the first steps are already gone, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to write about it. Sometimes you only realize small efforts if you see them written in front of you.
Maybe this blog is also kind of mediation for me as I’m focusing only on one single topic each time and black out the rest going on around and inside me.
I found the following definition and while reading it I was affirming to myself that I’m not too wrong in what I’m doing.
“Meditation is the act of remaining in a silent and calm state for a period of time, as part of a religious training, or so that you are more able to deal with the problems of everyday life.”
And another conclusion after I read is – am I doing it to match the definition or to feel better afterwards? Are we running to much after how we should be and how things are defined from the outside instead of focussing on what we like and feel comfortable with? But that’s another topic.
Keep the faith in your life and most important, keep it within you!
1. Make a compliment or honor someone
– That’s really easy and something we should do more often as it put a smile on faces. Just think about yourself, we all like to hear compliments.
2. Consciously breathing
– Interesting as it makes you aware of purity again. I did it as part of a guided meditation and it’s astonishing how breath techniques can help to relax and calm down. I can recommend to give it a try.
3. A lazy day in bed from morning to evening without TV, Radio or Internet
– Here I failed up to now. As long as I haven’t muted my phone and iPad I’m too curious if it’s beeping, checking Facebook, emails…something to put also on my list to work on.
4. Getting rid of ballast – an old radio or cleaning up the cellar
– I cleaned up my wardrobe, each piece which I didn’t touch during the last 3 months was put out. What I did then is selling all on eBay and the nice side effect was that I got so much for all these clothes that I was able to buy me the iPad where I was too stingy before as its just another toy. But with this extra money I made myself a gift.
5. Cook your favourite food just for yourself and enjoy
– In my opinion a stupid one. I never cook something for myself which I don’t like, so this is daily routine.
6. Build something with your own hands
– Thanks to my neighbor I really did it a few weeks ago. I thought this will not happen and I could never check this task but one of our neighbors children turned six and we built a small theater out of everything we found, painted it colorful and put little dolls and sweets in as birthday surprise. I felt like back in kindergarten but it was really funny when you finally look at the result, even if I still think children can do it much better than adults. They have more fantasy than almost all adults nowadays.
7. Dive into the idyllic world of childhood (watch movies you loved as child, read children’s books)
– Perfect relaxation for me, I think this depends on how your childhood has been. I took one of my favorite books I read as child and it was like a flashback to the age of six or seven where you were free of problems and where your parents gave you good night hugs and kisses and checked if the blanket is covering you before you sleep tight. I recommend this one for a rainy Sunday afternoon.
8. Travel the world (all continents)
– I stepped on two continents so far…if I win the lottery one day I will let you know if I like this task or not.
9. Go consciously into nature – sense details (flower, grass, insects)
– Just stroll around and breath the smell of trees and flowers, watch ants carrying leaves six times bigger than themselves, it’s a bit like a meditation. You are just watching and breathing and not thinking, makes the mind free.
10. Not to buy new clothes for the next six months
– I’m pretty sure it was written for men. They will succeed easily but I am a woman! No way, even if I would try it I would fail, that’s 100% sure. Do you think I can walk by a shop if I see something nice which isn’t yet in my wardrobe but soooo cute and the colour is matching and it’s on sale and and and? Even if I stay at home for six months, there are so many newsletters offering us daily new stuff. I have to admit, yes, I am weak in regards to shopping. I can’t resist for such a long time.
11. Admit you made a mistake and say sorry
– That’s not too long ago and something I do whenever needed. I can’t understand people who are not able to say sorry. We are all humans and humans make mistakes, no one is free from it as no one is perfect and always right. So why should I bother myself with negative thoughts longer than needed? If I realize I was wrong or mean for sure I admit and say sorry.
12. Travel alone
– I did and you will soon read about it here (that’s how I keep it thrilling, haha).
13. Don’t talk one day
– Is talking to myself counting?
14. Watch an opera
– I listened around seven minutes to one where I don’t even know the title. Sorry, but this kind of music is nothing for my ears. Call me low-brow, I can live without. (But for sure only my opinion!)
15. Afford a cleaning woman/man for your home
– As long as I’m living on fifty five square meters I do it myself. This is another pair of shoes which is more important for me than someone doing the cleaning for me. If I move into a palace I will over think this item.
Bye for now, hope you enjoyed it a bit.