…do good movies start in the middle of the night
…does a white denim require washing after once worn
…does it rain during the weekend although the whole week was sunny
…is the chocolate empty whenever you would need it most
…is a helicopter circling above my area in the middle of the night
…is it colder in my flat than outside
…is not everyone talking proper english
…is my work to do list getting longer each day although I’m working
…can’t I put everything in the tumble dryer without shrinking
What “why the heck”s do you have?
Slowly calming down – don’t lose hope,
Observation during my single vacationI already wrote about my first single vacation in Italy and just stepped about notes I made on one of the last days being there.
What I wrote down is the following “observation” I made while sitting alone in a gelateria with an astonishing sea view:
Never ever do I want a relationship like the ones I saw abundantly during these holidays. Bad educated, spoiled children, parents which fight each other beyond words if they should go for a swim in the midday heat or if the junior, who didn’t had proper breakfast, is allowed to have ice cream or not.
Wife and child just leaving the husband/father behind like a fool although he may has been the one working the whole year to afford these lovely family holidays alà dolce vita and couples not able or willing to break the silence which may exist between them since years.
No wonder that these poor fools die-away looking after single women – whereas they probably wouldn’t if they knew what’s on my mind. Your own fault, you douche bag, you should be able to create your own life and it seems as if you aren’t able to do so. I honestly rather accept a few skeptical glances instead of not being able to decide if I eat three ice creams in a row and lay down to catch sunshine in the midday heat. I even could go for a swim in the middle of the night if I like or skip breakfast and eat Pizza in the morning.
Women wearing these not fashionable trekking sandals (while sitting is a cafe and now trekking area within miles), too dumb to use an iPhone, meal-rimmed glasses on their noses, unvarnished and hair on the head which needed a makeover weeks ago – can they honestly believe that this is attractive? A short khaki colored skirt with senseless stitched on pockets will not improve the overall picture, even not if you look at the not pedicured feet…
Some women are wearing jewelry, these are unornamental, even if they believe that the all inclusive ribbon is posh…
Now thinking about these scenes I’m still laughing and more than happy that my relationship is far away from entering this stage (mashalla – let it stay like this). If it would nearly go into this direction I will step back to this post and remember that I never ever want to be like this! In this short observation are already so many things I don’t like that I don’t anticipate me in a situation like this. Fighting in public AND in front of the kids about nonsense, my husband longing for other women because his is not making any effort to be attractive to him any longer…sorry to say this now, but women who stop to be women because they are wives and mothers shouldn’t be too astonished if their husbands are starting to look after other skirts. I don’t say it’s an easy job to handle all at once but everyone needs time outs so why not using them for painting toenails or having the hair done every now and then?
Regards from a fresh manicured Miss Faith!
How should women be in 2013?If you just look around you on a normal day and listen to what media and magazines think women should be like I’m pretty sure that this is nothing a woman could fulfill.
We first of all have to be dressed perfectly and stylish and take care of our body. Undone hair is a no go unless it’s just the newest trend and en vogue. Besides we also need to be successful in our full time job and raise children as if we always were mothers. Next to us the perfect husband, successful too and a loving father. Problems are nonexistent, or let me say if there are some then just because the personal trainer had to cancel a session or the flights are delayed. We handle all with a smile on our face and bad mood, what is that?
We shouldn’t be too cute but also not too sexy. Our sense of humor shouldn’t be completely funny, that’s too boyish nor completely serious, it could mean we tend to be boring. We should act mainstream but think forth going, thinking over the edge.
Please tell me how should this be possible?
A few tips I agree on like never talk about the men of your past – nobody wants to be compared and you shouldn’t compare either – something new means you open a new chapter in your life and the past belongs to the past. That’s true but nevertheless we only are what we are because of past experiences but I agree on don’t giving them names or details.
Ups, and we have to be skinny but healthy, this may work for a few but for sure not for all. I’m not the person who wants to be high sized and fortunately can eat whatever without gaining weight but honestly, what means skinny? Only skin and bones looks unhealthy from my point of view and women should have a shape. So please eat! Women are humans also and who can live without food? Food is pleasure…at least for me!
In regards to fashion I wouldn’t go completely with the newest fashion pieces as no one except of models can wear these combinations. Have you ever seen an average woman who can wear the pieces presented on fashion show stages without looking ridiculous, bitchy or undressed?
I found another tip where I also agree on. Accept the child in you – life is serious enough so acting goofy is essential from time to time.
But careful because when it comes to what we should be like we have to hide our next steps – nothing is more boring than persons where you exactly know what they will do next. For instance being goofy.
What would be my on tip of how women should be in 2013?
The main points from my point of view are the following:
– be yourself and don’t try to please others
– take care of yourself
– be truthfully, reliable and honest
– have fun
– live every moment
Be faithful, cherish what you have and love life like it is!
The first weeks of 2013Just around two weeks have passed in 2013 and it feels like months already. I’m quicker back in my working routine than I thought. Where is the relaxation from before? Gone almost in the second I turned my computer on and checked the first emails. As I wrote in one of my earlier posts, I have no New Years resolutions but there’s one point I honestly have to think about. Either how I regain the motivation for my current job or how to change my life in regards to work to be motivated again, maybe another job in a different area. Let’s see what this year may bring.
It’s less than one month left until my parents celebrate their 60st and 66th birthday and if all goes as planned, my fiancé and me will be there together. At least my parents are prepared when it comes to food as I was the halal meat deliverer. We have a good halal butcher here in Munich and I carried eight kilogram of meat to them last time to put it in the freezer.
The January itself is not really exciting up to now. Besides working I meet from time to time my neighbor for coffee or tea, or for exchanging food. We made almost a habit out of cooking for the two of us, one day it’s her turn, the next mine, so that we have days off cooking and also get to know more recipes. As the weather is more than awful I spend most of my time in the flat. Even the newspapers were writing about the “depressive” weather, the last sunshine was visible in December, since then it’s only cloudy, rainy and grey sky. I’m definitely not a winter person and can’t wait for the first spring days.
The only good thing about this is that I have lots of time to read and watch the movies I wanted to watch and of course to update my blog! I’m in the process of collecting ideas and topics to write about and if someone would pay me for doing it I would say in the second yes and make it my daily job. This is more interesting and fascinating as I discover so many things I want to know more about. But for the time being this is just a dream.
My colleague told me one be careful what you wish for as it sometimes can come true. So I try to wish more, maybe I’m lucky – haha.
Never loose the faith!
After we spent lovely days with my family we moved on to meet part of his family in Belgium.
I was excited as he told me so many stories upfront about his uncle in Belgium who is married to a Belgian. How will it be? Will I be accepted and welcomed in the same way as he was? Many questions for me as there still is a difference as his uncle is older and Libyan, kind of a respectable person. Even if he’s living in Belgium for a long time and his daughters were raised there I knew also stories about him having problems with the western life style of his daughter.
I’m completely western, yes, I had contact with Arabic cultures but first of all they differ from country to country and second is that people are always acting in a way they can justify for themselves. So what to expect?
I expected nothing, I just assumed from his stories that we would at least go along in a friendly way for the coming days. My thesis always is that I have to meet persons first to see myself how they are and I didn’t changed it in this case. For his uncles wife I was pretty sure upfront that we will like each other and it turned out to be right. When we arrived his uncle was still working but his uncles wife welcomed me in the same loving way I’m used to from my family. We were very quickly talking about each and everything as if we knew each others already. When his uncle arrived home he was acting a bit like my father, greeting me but then watching me eating, moving, talking. During dinner he warmed up and started to ask me what I’m working, about my family, normal stuff. His wife told me later that evening that he likes me and that he’s entirely happy for his nephew that he found his second part. My fiancé told me the same when we went to sleep. Sleeping in one room but in single beds, the uncle is the older one and he’s making the rules in his house. It was ok for two nights even if I think it’s kind of funny. We are no teenagers anymore but we accepted it. The next day was separated in the morning. His uncle likes to go to a big fruit market nearby because he can taste all fruits there without buying them and its kind of a hobby for him to do it. In the end he’s always buying but I like how he behaves, the little boy in the old man is visible. My fiancé was there with him already and liked it too, also in him the child is present, which is great. So the men planned to go there and I had to choose if I want to join them or if I go with the uncles wife to another biological market to buy vegetables for dinner. I choose to join her for several reasons. It’s not that I’m a big fan of shopping for dinner but I wanted the men to be able to talk just for them and I also wanted to listen to stories from a woman’s point of view. The decision was good as we talked non stop and became well acquainted within just a few hours. I heard stories about how difficult it was raising daughters and how they managed it, the mother is always on the daughters side and even more if she’s born and raised in a western country, at least it was the case for them and I can imagine myself being similar if we may face the same discussions to be honest. Maybe even harsher, who knows. We are not there yet.
On the other hand she told me lots about Libya and how much she loves the country, they lived in tripoli for quite a while before moving back to Belgium when the daughters were in a school age as they wanted them to learn French as well as Arabic. Libya is present all over the house, pictures, paintings, books, jewellery, small tea plates, lots of stuff she bought during her travels to keep part of it with her in Belgium. Fascinating!
During lunch time the men returned and we had a quick lunch before his uncle wanted to show us Brussels and Waterloo. He drove fast not to miss a piece of what he planned and guided us through the centre of Brussels, quickly showing all the important places. It was really cute, he was showing me that he likes me in his style. Standing beside me for pictures and happily smiling all the time. He even bought the chocolate I wanted as gift for my parents, not letting us pay.
In Waterloo we were climbing up the felt thousands of stairs on the memorial although it was foggy and slightly raining, breathlessly reaching the top. He was opening up more and we had a coffee together afterwards before heading back. It was a great day!
After dinner at home my fiancé and me went out on the terrace and what we were watching then was again so lovely, his uncle went into the kitchen and started to put dishes and cups on the table to prepare it for breakfast. He’s doing it every night so that his wife doesn’t have to do in the morning. When she’s waking up the breakfast table is already prepared. So much about the MAN in the family, he’s caring and loving. Cutting fruits for all of us so that we get enough vitamins in winter to stay healthy, talking proudly about his grand child’s, that’s why I said in the beginning, never go preoccupied into something, discover yourself how someone is and mostly it’s the small things which matter so much.
The next day we were about to leave after breakfast and the most impressive gesture for me was that his uncle was holding my hand closely, squeezing it while telling me that he is glad we met each other and he hopes to see me soon again. That was the “yes” from his side.
Faithfully, Mrs. Faith!
Exciting! Totally exciting!
For me it was really as if I’m waiting for Xmas like a child, I was so curious on how it will be when we arrive at my parents house. Shortly after our engagement we started to drive to my parents. My fiancé was cool, he told me he’s curious to meet them and can’t wait to arrive there. But when we drove into the street where they live he became quiet. It’s a habit for me to push the horn of my car as soon as I park the car in front of the house so they know I’m there. When I did hit he sank deeper into his seat and told me he’s staying in the car and I should wake him up tomorrow morning. Haha, Mr.Cool was a bit afraid of the first meeting. But it wasn’t to be stopped as all, means my parents and my sister, were already stepping out of the front door to welcome us. Mom was hugging me tight, congratulating to our engagement and quickly on her way to close her arms around a shy man, standing behind me. I think he was really surprised from the look on his face but positively surprised. I hugged my dad but a dad has to be the major of the family, so he was just shaking hands with my fiancé. My sister was writing and joking with him on Facebook several times before but it differs if you are standing in front of each other and she wasn’t sure on what to as was he. They also were shaking hands shyly. The first part was done. But what then, how to communicate, it’s already not easy to find topics in the beginning when you don’t know each other but if you don’t even speak the same language it becomes more difficult. My sister talks English so we didn’t had a problem there but my parents never did and my dad didn’t even learn it at school. He had a few years Russian during his school time but that’s not very helpful. I translated simultaneously, how was the travel, did you like it in Munich, again congratulations to our engagement, how is the family, how is the weather in Libya, it must be hard to travel into winter when being in the desert before, small talk.
The first ice was broken and the men, means father and fiancé, started to take the luggage up to my old room. My old room which has been completely renovated before. Noooo, sure not because we were planning to visit, according to my mom it was needed nevertheless. But to be honest, just because my dad is watching TV there once in a while she wouldn’t have painted the whole room, placed decoration all over, some in shape of hearts. Whatever reason it was, it was lovely, cosy, welcoming and like a new room. When we started to unpack it was the first moment to recap how it was and he was overwhelmed from the loving and kind way he was welcomed into the family. I couldn’t stop smiling for the most of our stay as it really is the best what can happen if you see your loved ones going along that way.
Before dinner my mum brought champagne to have a cheers for our engagement. One bottle of dry champagne for her, one of half sweet for my sister and me and one alcohol free for my fiancé. This habit was completely new for him as it’s not common to say cheers with alcohol, even if it’s alcohol free “alcohol” in Libya.
I’m not the fan of drinking alcohol but I do it from time to time a glass when there’s a special occasion. But the other thing is that I made a compromise and promised to drink nothing in his presence. This has nothing to do with not being allowed or cutting my liberty, I just said for myself that I don’t want him to be bothered by the smell of alcohol when we are together. I don’t miss it as I never drink lots and he’s happy with this compromise. So the idea of champagne was lovely but kind of weird for him. I drank the one without alcohol as he does and we said cheers altogether. Besides, we didn’t forgot my dad but he does not like champagne so he lifted a bottle of beer, what should I say, German, haha.
My dad was still a bit suspicious and during dinner he was watching him like a detective. But when I was alone with my dad in the room I asked him if he’s “approving” my choice and he answered with a big and happy smile. I write approving in brackets as I’m surely don’t need an approval but to know that they like the new family member is important for me and gives me a good feeling. It’s much more easier than going against opinions or struggle because they don’t like each other. The coming days were running quickly but from day to day more convenient, my parents even started to talk English, a mixture of German and English and my fiancé put the words he knows in German into the conversations.
All in all it was a great time being there and realizing that everyone is happy is so precious.
My faith wasn’t disappointing me once again so please keep yours!
I don’t know if its just a German phenomenon but during the past years the tv programm was becoming more and more crap and trash.
Where are all the good movies? Where are the interesting talks and discussions?
When I just start zapping through channels in the evening I hardly find anything interesting to watch. Instead of movies it’s common to have tv shows, singing contests, problematic couples, youngsters, pets, news about catastrophes around the world and celebrity stuff.
I’m wondering which persons are keen to see all this as it seems to be the majority. TV channels are adapting their program to what people want to see. That’s scary if you think about it. Which insane mind wants all this crap each day? Interesting topics are on late in the evening or even in the middle of the night. But the main question is what is happening to our society if that’s the new “normal”? Are we losing our minds from generation to generation? I’m not that old to say sentences like “when I was young it was…” but I already found myself several times saying it. And if you look at people outside you already realize there was a change, which in first place isn’t bad at all, changes are needed cause otherwise it would mean we stopped living, the problem is that these changes are not good ones. It’s not only crap on TV, it’s also just in front of your door when you step outside.
I’m living next to a school with children from twelve to sixteen years, when they have lunch breaks and you see them walking, talking, acting its like another planet. When I imagine myself at this age I was still almost a child, nowadays girls with thirteen look like eighteen or even more, dressed up in mini-mini-skirts, a make up like a parrot, smelling as if they just walked out of a perfume store, wearing the highest high-heels available. Is that the new normal? Every girl is the next top model of the world at this age because that’s what they are taught on TV or the web. Boys are like gangsters, they have to be so cool and stylish, where stylish means the clothing out of the newest rap videos, and what they don’t are allowed too is to show emotions, that would be the worst thing. They can have each girl as their new girl friend if they want, at least that’s what they think.
The problem is from my point of view honestly the lack of possibilities. Parents have no ideas than to place them from sometimes the age of two onwards in front of the TV. And TV to learn what life is about cannot work at all. If I remember my childhood the TV was there but it was not the main part of my childhood. We went outside whenever it was possible, played in the garden, the small forest nearby or just strolled through the village. Collecting beetles in summer, eating corn directly in the field, all the stuff where I would say that’s what children should do. Instead the society is keeping them inside, in summer is too hot, in winter too cold, the surrounding isn’t safe enough and the TV or play station is not disturbing the adults in their daily routine. If that’s really the new normal I will be an awful future mom, I’m sure that my child will not be allowed to watch stupid stuff the whole day. I want it to know how grass smells or a beetle looks like, I want it to activate its fantasy to play instead of reading instructions of the new computer game. And TV will be a hard battle, fortunately all nice movies for children are available as DVDs but for the crap on TV there will be no way, at last as long as I’m in charge of it.
Go outside, read books, choose carefully what to watch on TV, communicate, love, surround yourself with thinking mind, this may beware us of getting “crap” people…
It’s near now, the day my fiance will finally be with me again, and what am I doing?
Starting to clean my flat but not in a normal way, no, from the deepest places up to what is visible.
Why am I doing it? Simple explanation, I just want to focus on what’s important during his stay and not thinking about stupid cleaning or sorting out or whatever during this precious time.
And besides I do this normally every two or three years but nowadays it’s something special.
One wardrobe is almost empty for him to store his clothes. Nothing would be more stupid than living out of a suitcase for one month and I want him to have the feeling to be at home and not feeling like a guest.
The same for my bathroom which is normally crowded with my bottles and creams and make up, now it’s pure and clean and free space for men’s stuff (which isn’t that much compared to women’s).
The living room is as cosy as it could be because it will be wintertime and it’s already getting colder each day. A place to snuggle up in warm light and relax, that’s how I like it and how it always has been but now it becomes a special meaning. We will spend our time here together once again and I can’t wait for the days to pass by until its reality.
These weeks will be exciting as we will meet parts of the family, mine and his, so the plan is to drive there at the beginning of his stay so that we end up with lots of time afterwards just for the two of us.
It’s interesting to start something new with the unique feeling of having found the missing piece in life.
Sure, as adults, there have been relationships in the past but if you then found someone where it feels so right just from the very first beginning it’s something special. It’s hard to explain but I already thought I found it and was proven wrong afterwards and now it’s so different.
Different in the best meaning as I cannot see one single piece which could separate us. This is something I never had before, the feeling of being completely complete with this man on my side even when it seems for outsiders not that easy – living thousands of miles apart, out of different cultures, that cannot be easy.
I can assure you it is!
If you love each other as basis and then discover the same humor, the same sense of what life should be like for the two of you, the same opinions about values, family, even the same taste in many things, then you are able to make it. Even if I’m completely stressed and tired after a long working day I just need to hear his voice shortly and calm down because I know that this is more important than anything else.
Relationships are precious and not only the one to your wife/husband, boyfriend/girlfriend, partner or fiancé.
Life is built on relationships with every kind of human being as these are the people around you who should be there for you whatever life is going to give you.
People who bring you down, make you sad, are envying you or putting stones on your way are the wrong ones, this is also something to sort out. I did it a few months ago and that was the right decision.
Surround yourself with honest persons!
It’s early for me to write all these sentences but I am absolutely doubtless. Which doesn’t mean that we won’t face difficulties but I’m sure we will go towards each other when facing them to find the middle way instead of running apart.
No one said life is easy so why should we give up on something we finally found so easily?
It will be an absolutely exciting time, my family can’t wait almost like me to meet the new family member and my mom is already caring as if her own son is coming home, asking me every now and then what to cook for the first evening and buying warm bedclothes so that he is not freezing in winter time.
And his family will be another adventure for me. He has an uncle in Belgium who moved there a long time ago, also married to a European, and I like to listen to their stories on how they did it. They still seem to be happy together and this is what we want for our future.
So you see, there are many things more important than cleaning up and when the most is done before he arrives I just can focus on the main parts in life.
Another effect is that I start to sit on my couch more relaxed when I know that I have nothing else to do instead of enjoying quality time.
It’s freeing my mind and soul and is giving me a certain kind of serenity.