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Why are conspiracy people so famous – help me understand

Why are conspiracy people so famous - help me understand

Why are conspiracy people so famous – help me understand

This pandemic brought up what I thought is long behind us.
People who start to influence masses with their strange theories.

I can tell you upfront, I’m a realistic person, I don’t believe in conspiracy which doesn’t mean automatically that I trust 100% all systems in charge and walk blindfolded, surely not.

But between a healthy mistrust and a conspiracy are lightyears of fairytale authors.

How can it be that someone tells you we will all be chipped and you run after that person? As soon as we use smartphones, smartwatches, the internet, even old-fashioned land line phones, we can be tracked, we can be spied on…but seriously, how important are you that you believe your way to work and back would be of the utmost importance to any secret service?

We have profile picture on our social media profiles, we send holiday pictures over servers, we play games, do online banking and have chip cards for healthcare and bonus systems and the local pizza delivery – why you you think you need to get another “chip”, what for?

Denying a pandemic is also a very interesting part of all these conspiracy theories.

It’s a calculation, simple like that, to give a virus which spreads quickly the status pandemic. The probability of severe cases, actual severe cases, actual total cases, incubation time, spread and there we are, pandemic due to an unknown virus spreading really fast across the world.

Scientist love to do all these calculations and research. An unknown virus is something which isn’t happening very often (like every other week) and especially not with this speed. And one principle of science and research is “try and error” because with something totally unknown you have no other chance. 

That means YES, they make mistakes, because that’s the only way to learn.

Each try can give a result which is great or not. With each patient something is learnt and one day they will know how this virus works, mutates, attacks, and unfortunately sometimes a minimal risk of the unknown will remain. That’s life, nature and human capability. 

So everyone who criticises the scientists and all the doctors working with Covid19 right now, do you want to be in their position? Do you want to explain what triage means to the relatives of severe cases?

Politics – please help me, that’s a very wide field and I don’t even want to start with right wing, left wing, alternative, extreme, whatever.

Just a general statement – which politician could have the aim to ruin his country by stopping everything if there would be any other choice?

Are you seriously believing that countries want to stop their production, their exports, their trading, their alliances?

Seriously – what do these people think?

I just followed a few of the German conspiracy people on the platform “telegram” because that’s the “only uncensored platform” in the whole wide web, according to them. What I read there is beyond imagination. Not only that they ask people to break rules wherever possible and stand up for their rights – they talk about a German dictatorship, about supply chains outside of the web because all will be monitored, about forced mass vaccinations…they share wildly links to websites nobody ever heard of, not reviewed of course. Mass instead of class – scare instead of educate – call to action against the government, call to action against recommendations.

I honestly had to delete this app because you feel sick after a couple of days of these awful “news”. The people who call it dictatorship in Germany never ever lived in a dictatorship! 

Who ever talked about a forced mass vaccination??? Nobody?

What had the whole election in the US to do with the German lockdown? Why are there links against the rescue of immigrants shared? Why do they use typical sentences which specially germans know from the darkest German history under Hitler?

Why are all of a sudden all the former celebrities, who weren’t in the news since felt ages, the leaders of this weird conspiracy clan?

You have the feeling as if you are watching the conversations between psychiatry patients from the schizophrenic department but the dangerous part is that all of them are spreading their news and people take it seriously, a quite large amount of people…

This says a lot about our society – this is scarier than the virus itself.

It’s their truth – you cannot convince them because they are so deep inside their spiderweb similar network that even if they would start to doubt the next would tell them we want to make them doubt with telling lies.

Psychologically a very interesting topic, but this is the job of others, not mine.

I just sit and stare and wonder how it can happen – how can someone drift in such a weird direction even though their families and friends give their best to show them all the lies he/she follows?

Many seem to be lost and I don’t judge this. These times are harder than we would have ever imagined. These times influence all of us.

I doubt, I agree, I follow, I overthink, I stay quiet, I speak up, I hide, I go out before I go crazy at home – all of this is Corona. 

But what I don’t do, I don’t lose the realistic view, I don’t assume, I don’t follow blindly, I don’t blame, because who’s to blame? The virus is here (manmade or not, it doesn’t matter). Most important is to get the curve down as we did in March/April. It’s not helpful to gather for demonstrations, it’s not helpful to call for action against the use of masks, it is surely not helpful to use your own children as an instrument against the rules and I write this because it just happened yesterday.

An 11-year old girl on stage of a conspiracy demonstration. She states that she had to celebrate her birthday five times to have all guests at home not to exceed the number of allowed persons per meeting. She has to celebrate her birthday with her friends quietly as they were too many children and scared that neighbours may call the police. She had to hide like ANNE FRANK! (Is this seriously what an 11-year old girl thinks? The mom standing proud next to her and now I assume although I know I shouldn’t but the notes in the girl’s hand were obviously tweaked by her mother).

The next, a 13-year old is attacking the chancellor Merkel with “You are not even a mother or a grandmother, how dare you to tell us that we should wear masks in school? …. my friends are “deforming” me when I don’t wear one” – best example, defame is what she should have said, but she has no idea of what she is saying there! 

What if Merkel wanted children but for whatever reason wasn’t able to conceive? Is this how you attack politicians who struggle, who try to make it right? Of course nobody will ever reach the whole population, but personal attacks won’t help in this Covid pandemic.

Parents should protect their children, I agree on that, and that doesn’t mean I use them when I have no other arguments anymore.

Thanks if you read so far – I hope you stay safe and healthy!

As a side note – this is my blog and if there will be comments pro conspiracy or rude I will delete them – sorry, not sorry!

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Interesting fact from the Libyan herald

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Interesting fact from the Libyan herald

While preparing all our wedding documents beginning this year we were quite shocked when hearing that the German embassy in Tripoli closed.
Fortunately we had all stamps and legalizations we needed shortly before.
Now it’s even more interesting to find the article below, explaining that the German embassy never closed down all work in Libya but instead just moved to another building.
And how were the “wrong” news spread?
Read it below 🙂

German embassy working as normal explains new ambassador

Tripoli, 23 September 2013:

Despite reports to the contrary, the German embassy is open and working normally, the new German ambassador, Christian Much, has stressed.

“We’re busy, dealing with commercial, cultural, academic and many other matters such as de-mining and visits,” Much said today.

The embassy had closed its building in central Tripoli at the end of April because of security concerns following the attack on the French embassy and moved operations to Palm City in Janzour. However, the change of location was not noted by numerous Libyan organisations and the belief spread that the embassy itself had completely shut down – a belief reinforced when the Prime Minister said on 28 April Libya was at risk of frightening embassies away and that it would make it more difficult for Libyans to obtain Schengen visas.In his statement, he mentioned that the German embassy had closed. He meant merely the building but others, including Libya officials, thought that the Germans had packed their bags and left.

Another of the reasons for the mistaken view was that as a result of the move, Germany stopped issuing Schengen visas in Tripoli.

That has now changed, the ambassador noted today. Visas are gradually starting to be issued again in Tripoli. The embassy was looking at organising the visa section by using a visa service, similar to what some other embassies are doing, which would help people to fill in their forms and submit the applications, he added. A full visa service would be up and running well before the end of the year, he said.

Much also indicated that once he had presented his credential to the President of Congress, Nuri Abu Sahmain, he would be looking to increase Germany’s profile in Libya.

Read more: libyaherald

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Facebook status

Facebook status

Am I on Facebook?
Sure I am as several others, or let me say I hardly know persons who aren’t.
Why is Facebook not showing up on my blog then?
I mean, I’m just writing about it but there is no possibility to follow me on Facebook.
You want the truth?
My Facebook is my private fun.
A network where I’m connected with friends, family members and colleagues and it was hard to separate them into groups with restricted views on my profile.
I’m not shy or prude but I don’t believe that my colleagues need to have access to my latest holiday pics or need to know where I was exactly at which time where on the other hand my friends are allowed to see it.
I’m happy when friends just pop up in the same location as they have seen my status on Facebook. It’s also a nice way to stay in touch with friends or family spread all over the world.
Even now when I’m in the situation that the whole family of my husband is living in Libya I love to have a network like this.
Just yesterday my husband became a proud uncle of a little girl for the first time and the cutie was shown in our private family circle.
You see, this is internal stuff for myself on Facebook and that’s why I haven’t linked it to this blog.
My plan for the future is to have a public Miss Faith profile.
But this needs to be set up in a professional way and I honestly didn’t found the time yet to start working it out. Stay tuned, as soon as its online I will let you know for sure!
Now back to the private account.
What I recently discovered is that Facebook is asking its members directly how they feel, what they think or where they are.
Does they mean they care – I would rather say they want even more information from users.
Some are serving them well already nowadays or would you put in your status that you are just on your way to hospital for giving birth?
Not me, that’s a no-go from my point of view. Even if we are all and everywhere online and connected there should still remain some privacy.
As Facebook isn’t that easy to handle in regards to privacy I just post stuff where I would have no problem if strangers may see it. Means not posting almost naked pictures or status updates which carry my deepest emotions. Break ups are often posted and what for? Should my friends be sorry for me or back bite my then ex-boyfriend? If I want to share these stories with a good friend I pick up the phone and dial his or her number.
Preferred by me are updates like favorite songs, favorite quotes, some funny pics from time to time or congrats to whatever. I can show my new bought couch to my family who is not living directly around the corner or send my husband snowy pictures from Germany to Libya.
What are your favorite status updates and what would you never write on a social network page?
Let me know your “random” thoughts.
Yours Miss Faith
P.S.: the pic is my status on New Year’s Day 😉

Facebook status

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Lonely in my flat

Lonely in my flatAfter my fiancé returned to Libya it was really strange. We were often outside for the already written about family visits and stuff like that but what we did is, that we did everything together!
The last weeks together in Munich we were painting my living room and made it more cosy for the two of us to enjoy every minute. My flat is now our flat, I emptied one wardrobe for his clothes and his shoes have a place next to mine at the front door. The couch area has lots of pillows on the floor which we bought together as well as two small tables where we sat on the floor to watch movies, listening to music and having tea or coffee. A bit of an Arabic style which I love so much.
When I returned from the airport it was a bit mean as there are so many memories in the flat. Not mean in a negative way because I love to have him around even if he is not here physically but mean when it comes to things like stepping inside and looking at his shoes. It gives the feeling of he is still around but he is not sitting in the living room.
Strange for me as I was so used to live alone after so many years and now it feels so wrong. From time to time I’m opening his wardrobe to smell him and after a few days I put his bathroom stuff out of the closet and put it next to mine in front of the mirror. I want to have him around me whatever I’m doing. Maybe that’s childish behavior but who’s making the rules? I feel better and so it is right for me.
In the end it’s just a matter of time until we are together again enjoying all this. He flew back beginning of December and probably will be back from work and back in Germany beginning/mid of February. I just have to go past the Xmas period and as I will spent this time with my family time will run, what’s left then is the nice month of cold, grey January and we are back together. Until then we bother Skype daily if possible and raise the missing. And to be honest, missing is something which is keeping a relationship more than alive. I don’t say that I want it for the rest of my life but for the time being we have no other choice and are making the best of it.
What is more romantic than waiting at the airport looking at each person coming out at the arrival gate until a bright smile covers your face when you finally see the one you were looking for. This is a scene replayed in so many movies – we are living our own movie.
Faith is keeping us moving on!

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What else happened during the past weeks?

What else happened during the past weeks?

There is so much to write about from the past weeks besides the engagement, the family visits and our islamic wedding that I don’t even know where to start.
Shortly after my love arrived from Libya he proposed to me and made me the happiest person ever. But after a proposal the planning starts and this is honestly not that easy. Two cultures, two countries, Europe and North Africa, Christian and Muslim, woohoo, lots to keep in mind and focus on. But some wise man one day said ‘love can handle everything’ so here we go on our journey to be finally husband and wife. For the legal part the first step was to ask just for informations about a wedding in Germany. To make it easy we choose the registry office in my birth town. It’s a small city and you don’t have to wait ages until they have a date for you but it quickly turned out that we have to check it in Munich as I’m officially registered there. The first sentence almost before the woman working there said hallo was – you have to pay before we start to review the fact sheet for a binational wedding. What a start, the first money already spent before we know anything. Next was that she was approaching my fiancé in German. And what a surprise, his German is not enough to consent to anything legal so even if he’s speaking clearly English and also is trusting my translations we have to bring a certified translator when we want to apply for the wedding. As if that’s not enough we got a full list of documents he has to bring translated and certified in Germany! It is not sufficient if the translation and certification was done in Libya and the German embassy there, no, we have to authorize a German agency. Sure we have because it is more expensive to do it here and my feeling is that the registry office is supporting local agencies but that’s just my thinking…
If we have all documents in place and applied for the wedding the documents will be checked at several departments. This hopefully won’t take too long as most documents will expire after six months, they cannot be older than that, otherwise we have to arrange again the whole paper stuff. If they agree within these 6 months, then the registry office in Munich will send everything to the small registry office of my home town and we can schedule a date with them.
This would be perfect as it is smaller, more intimate, located in a small park instead of a grey building and most important, we would have our families around. Belgium is not too far away from my parents, so his uncle could be there as well as my family.
Let’s keep our fingers crossed that it will work without major problems and we soon are also legally husband and wife!
Keep the faith and never lose hope!

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My Islamic wedding

My Islamic wedding

What is that? Hadn’t I wrote just a few days ago that I’m so happy because I’m engaged? And now already a married wife, how quick is that?
It’s true, I married my fiancé, shortly after our return from the family visits but not in the way that we are now legally bonded husband and wife, we married in the Islamic way which is not legal in Germany.
Why did we do it?
The story started when I met him as I knew from the very first beginning that he is a Muslim and not only by birth, he’s living it. That doesn’t mean that he’s the super religious person as many think when hearing Muslim, but he’s sticking to his religion and believes in it by heart.
To go directly against preoccupied people, no, I’m not married to an extremist, Al Kaida member or self suicide Muslim, I’m married to a faithful person and to the greatest husband ever for me. And another no, he’s not putting pressure on me in any way, I am still free and still without religion.
I’m German and I know also persons around me who are Christians by heart and who believes in their religion just in a natural way, so nothing to even talk about but when it comes to Muslims you always have to justify and clarify and explain just because of the stupid extreme persons showing off something which has in my point of view nothing to do with religion. Sorry, I interrupted myself but that’s something I wanted to add.
So we did it in the Islamic way as it was important for my fiancé. You can consider it like kind of blessing. Similar to what Christians do when they went to a church. Gods mercy through the prayer and advise from an imam.
Ok, it wasn’t that easy to find an imam because I thought in first place we should choose a mosque with Arabic background but it was quickly proofed to be the wrong decision. I don’t know how often we went there in total and to how many persons we spoke but the bottom line was that a twenty something young so called imam started a speech about why he cannot do the wedding. He went so far to almost calling me ‘unpurified’, I don’t even want to write the words I heard unsaid about what he was thinking about me. My reaction was purely to say: honey, lets go, I don’t need to listen to someone like him, judging me without even being able to look at me while talking. This “imam” was looking at the wall behind me while trying to convince me that I have to regret everything I did in my life. I do not regret anything! I had good times and bad times and precious memories and memories which are not sunny and happy but in the end all this made me the person I am today. The person my fiancé fell in love with. Just later a sentence came to my mind which would have fitted: let him who is without sin cast the first stone. And I don’t even think that I have sins – I just lived, I never hurted anyone on purpose or lied about important things, I haven’t killed or stolen my neighbors husband, and so on, I just lived my life for the last thirty-five years and tried to be a good person along the way.
This is not worth talking about because we drove off and my fiancé was as angry as me.
Soon afterwards we found a small mosque nearby where people were almost enthusiastic to find the imam for us. Two old men were almost running stairs up and down to locate him for us.
A bit worried from the first experience I was waiting and then he asked us to come into his rooms.
A white haired old man with, which gave me a good feeling, a kind and calm expression on his face. The two others joined us as during an Islamic wedding you need two witnesses. It turned out to be good as the imam was only talking arabic and Turkish, so the witnesses were also my translators.
The imam was explaining what he will do, what’s the sense of agreeing on a wedding, that in their tradition a sum for the wife has to be written down and agreed on in case of the husband leaving the wife. What for sure is not a bad thing but what we – inshallah – will never need. He was so kind and asked me upfront if it would be OK for me to cover my hair for the celebration. I had a zebra scarf around my neck, maybe not the kind of cover he thought, and did it as even if I’m without a religion I have a deep respect before religious persons. Not only for the imam, also for priests, rabbis, whatever there is on the world, as long as they treat me with respect I respect them too. And he was respectful and even kind of funny as the wife has to agree three times that she’s willing to take the man as her husband and he told me that I have to say “OK” three times. He said OK, OK, OK and I repeated it.
The first time I have ever heard that as an agreement for a wedding, I know the “Yes, I do” but OK was not on my mind before. He said the prayer together with my newlywed husband and the witnesses and afterwards the three old men were congratulating us and wishing us all the best and a happy future together. The witness gave us our wedding documents and they led us out of the mosque. There we were, newlyweds, on a snowy Sunday afternoon in the middle of Munich and what should I say, I’m so happy that we did it.
It’s kind of weird as I never thought that it will change something for me but it is like the engagement day, when you don’t expect anything you will discover in the end, that these steps are changing your life. I’m called wife now from my husband and even if the legal wedding is more important for me as I will take on his last name on that day I feel like his wife already and am talking about my husband. And it has shown me another thing in life, be open-minded, don’t cut precious moments like this out of your life because you are pre-occupied. You never know how it would be unless you do it.
Keep the faith, it hasn’t to be religious but it could, just the way you feel comfortable with is the right one.

And I had a “wedding” piece of cake afterwards 😉

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Buying engagement rings

Buying engagement rings

Sealing the bond of life or at least entering the stage of planning it with an engagement is great!
If you ever have the feeling you found your soulmate, your second half, the one who’s fitting, who’s giving you the feeling of being the most precious person on earth, who’s loving you just the way you are, and if this person is asking you to marry him/her, do yourself a favor and say yes.
Beyond what you can imagine is the love which is growing in the second even if you would have thought before it can’t get more.
Being engaged is great, I love it and I’m proudly wearing my ring so that everyone can see I belong to someone special!
But buying rings was not as easy as I thought before. Sure, as a woman I had a picture in my mind of how it should look like but also a limit in regards to the price.
Tiffany has great stuff if you robbed a bank before but there must be something similar which is affordable without committing a crime.
I started to ask google because in the pre-Christmas season it’s not much fun to go window shopping in Munich. You cannot walk, you will be pushed in directions you never wanted by the crowd of people running for Christmas presents. The other thing was that we wanted to have as much quiet time for ourselves as possible for the duration of my fiancé’s stay in Germany. But what google has shown me was awful, trashy, glittery, immature, ugly, too kittenish or girlish.
I don’t want to wear a ring with hearts on it and colored imitation diamonds. Maybe a twelve year old is dreaming about it but not me as a grown woman. The next was that if they looked acceptable the only difference between the man and the woman was a small “stone” on the woman’s ring but I don’t want a male shape for mine neither a female shape for my fiancé’s ring. Maybe I have to clarify one thing, normally the engagement ring will be switched on the wedding day from the left hand to the right hand or as in Libya the other way round, from the right hand to the left hand. In our case we decided to have an engagement ring AND an extra wedding ring. The wedding ring can be pure with just a little stone but for the engagement I wanted something special.
Means I had to forget the pair couple offers. You will not find a pair where the ring for the woman has a special shape or form, they are all similar.
Fortunately my fiancé was already aware that I’m not the crowd follower, I wanted something unique and different. And who is making the rules? We, as I don’t want to be told by others what and where I have to wear a ring.
After I disagreed on almost all rings I found on the web we went to a tiny small jewellery shop and decided to buy silver rings, but not to choose them because the fit together, instead to choose what we like and what we want to wear.
Our rings are beautiful, for us, and we know what they mean to us, even if they may not fit together in someone’s opinion, we don’t care!
The most important thing is that we love them, gave them their meaning and are wearing them proudly.
They have names inside and the engagement date so they will always reflect this special day for us.
Keep the faith, once again, you can only be happy if you are doing what you like instead of pleasing others.

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Busy?!?

Busy?!?

How busy can a person be – not being able to write although writing is one of my favorites during leisure time.
I have to educate myself once again. Being busy is something we often pretend to be although in most cases it is kind of not structuring our life and not taking enough time for the things we love.
It’s almost 2013 and I normally should have had enough time during the last days to just sit down and do things I want to do. Instead of doing it I snuggled up in front of the TV and watched all the Christmas fairy tales – maybe that was what I needed but my book was almost looking at me annoyed and my mind told me that it’s wasted time as I didn’t do anything creative or productive.
TV is really something which is bringing me away from stuff I could do better during that time. Nevertheless – I found the way back to write at least today. This is what I mean with educating myself, I should make a habit like taking one hour per day I concentrate on books and writing, as it should become daily routine after a while if I stick to it. On the other hand there’s a small problem, do I really want it to be routine? No, and I say no because for me routine and creativity or relaxing time has nothing in common. Maybe it’s just my impression but if I hear the word routine I’m thinking about things we have to do, things I do without thinking too much, cleaning is routine, washing is or asking the trash out, but nothing like writing thoughts down. My thoughts change as does my enthusiasm to write about something. There are times when I love todo it but there are also times when I cannot calm down as I know that some things need to be finalized before I have the quiet surrounding to let my thought flow.
Bottom line – I was too busy.
Shortly after my fiancé left Germany for work I was buried with work to finish before driving to my parents for the Christmas celebrations.
Here I am now, sitting in my old children’s room, and finally writing again.
There happened so much during the past months that I started several posts already but it’s too confusing to bring one to an end right now. I can’t wait to get them finalized and posted and this is another point. Am I busy now with writing although I have no idea if people like what I’m writing or not – I will not start to stress myself more than needed. In the end I’m believing that everyone who’s thinking a bit in the same way I do understands how it is and also understands that my blog is a real life persons blog. Life never goes as you plan it and it is ok – otherwise it would be boring, wouldn’t it?
Some drafts are already written and I hope to find the right time and place during the next days and weeks to tell my story, to write about how it is now, being engaged although miles apart, being entirely happy although missing is hard, all the stories I want to write and give them a second thought, remember these times as they were so precious and moving forward into an exciting future.
You see, I need to sort my thought because otherwise no one would understand what I’m writing about, my mind is full of so many impressions.

Keep the faith and already a happy 2013!

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Updates!

Upates!

I haven’t been in here for quite a while as my fiancé was in Germany and we tried to catch every second to be together. The are so many ‘updates’ to write about and I have to sort it out during the next days. Time is running as always, he was just her and is now already back in Libya at work. Also the year is ending soon and this means lots to do until I can relax over the Xmas days.
There are only less than two weeks left until I go to my parents for the Xmas celebrations and visit my best friend for New Year’s Eve. Unbelievable how quick one year is over when you are happy.
Wen starting to write this I realize that I missed it but as the electrician will be ringing my bell really early tomorrow morning even now I have to hurry and catch some sleep.
Stay tuned as there will be lots of news I want to write about, how is it to introduce a fiancé to parents, how is it to meet his family, how to marry in a mosque, will a marriage in Germany be as possible as we thought, and we already thought that its not that easy, and so on.
Bye for now & keep the faith!

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Shopping in Madrid

Shopping in Madrid

Oh my god, I promised to tell you about shopping in Madrid and then I almost forgot about it. The main reason why I didn’t wrote it shortly after my stay there was on the one hand that my mind was filled up with training topics and on the other hand I had to calm down as I was so angry on a person who crashed this shopping trip. I like to go shopping, some may even say I’m addicted to it. Mostly exciting for me are cities I visit for the first time as I can explore them step by step. My favorite parts are the small streets with small local shops. The main shopping areas always have the same shops we have almost everywhere around Europe and these are less interesting for me. If I buy something new I like it that not everyone has the same piece in his wardrobe. When I knew that I will be in Madrid for a few days I loved the idea of exploring the city but I was aware upfront that I will not go alone, we were three colleagues from Germany and its like an unwritten rule that you go together and not completely alone. That’s not the problem at all, as normally as an adult I would assume that even if I like one shop and the others don’t that they just move on and we meet up a few shops later again. Not in this case. One of the two others, and that was the one who told me upfront that shopping was the main aim, was crashing it completely. Zara and Mango, two shops we have here in Germany too, were the place to go for her. Accepted as I know they are cheaper in Spain because they are Spanish and they often have different collections, but that the first questions afterwards was where to sit down for a coffee was already making me slightly angry. We just went into the city and to sit down after two general shops for rest and coffee was ridiculous for me. Not only because I wanted to see other shops, no, also because I wanted to see Madrid, explore the city instead of staying in a cafe. She was persuaded quickly by me and the other colleague that we like to move on a bit. What happened then was even more ridiculous. She was standing near to the exit in each shop she didn’t liked and there were many she seemed to disapprove, it was like having a guard standing there, pointing to clock, yawning in between, a face like being exhausted and the urgent need to sit down and rest. You an imagine how much fun it was for us to stroll through a shop knowing that she’s waiting. It’s like putting pressure on someone without saying it, completely mean. But if you think we just stopped for a coffee and the world was ok afterwards, haha, not at all. After a coffee it was the same scenery as before, the one who wanted to buy her whole winter wardrobe in Madrid was standing in waiting position in front of each and every shop, one bag in her hand with a tiny, cheap, Mango pullover. I started to ignore it as my day was still kind of fine and I discovered a few more shops to enter as she was suddenly asking if we may go now and have dinner. Dinner at seven pm where the shops are open until nine? I would go for dinner at nine and enjoy the shopping upfront and besides that is seven time for having dinner? Maybe for a child but surely not for me while being in Madrid with shops open. But she was so hungry and her time for dinner is always seven and she made a face like fainting in five minutes if she’s not getting her dinner in time so that we finally said ok and swallowed the bitter pill. We never ate dinner as speedy as this to get out of the restaurant before the shops were closing. Forty five minutes later she was happy again as we were on our way back to the hotel and we, the other two, were sure of one thing: never ever go shopping this person!
As bottom line, Madrid is a wonderful city with lots of shops, there’s the main street, the gran via, and many of small streets with tiny and cute shops. Almost everything in fashion is a bit cheaper than in Germany and I’m really sad that it didn’t turned out as it was planned. I hopefully may go there once again, but this time not on business, just private to really enjoy the city.
My fiancé is already aware that next time he’s needed to carry my shopping bags 😉

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My favorite…body oil

My favorite…body oil

When I went to Parrot Cay back in 2008 we stayed at the Como Shambhala Resort on this island and that was the first time I got into contact with their own beauty series.
Besides the fact that I like almost all products my absolutely favorite is the “Como Shambhala Invigorate Body Oil”.
The scent is seducing, it’s a mixture of several essential oils, biological ingredients and it is smelling like a spa version of mainly lavender, sweet almond, peppermint and eucalyptus.
When the bottle was empty I was searching on how to buy it being back in Germany. As a shipment from the Turks and Caicos islands wasn’t my first thought. It’s not too cheap and I didn’t want to pay a fortune on it. Google helped and I haven’t expected that there is really a shop in Munich selling it. Lucky me! I don’t use it daily, it is something special and thats how I treat it. A 100ml bottle is lasting several months, sometimes I just pour a few drops into my body lotion which is neutral, this is a nice way to save it for a longer period.
But for all who want to try it also, my best tip is the following webpage: http://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/
This page is addictive as you find products there which are not available everywhere and this is something I like.
They don’t sell the body but the massage oil which is even better (ingredients are exactly the same). I just rub a bit onto my skin and the scent is surrounding you within seconds. For me always a short time-out and also nice to calm down before I sleep. I love this scent!

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A wedding in Greece 2009

A wedding in Greece 2009
You are getting more memories about the travels in my life.
One amazing and completely unexpected was attending a wedding in Greece. I didn’t knew either bride or groom. My best friend from childhood days called me a few weeks prior to the wedding date and asked me to accompany him. He was invited by them to their wedding in her home town and didn’t want to go alone. A nice surprise as it was more than a welcome for me. I hadn’t planned any holidays and to go to Greece for five days was a good plan. Two other friends of him travelled there also and we decided upfront not to stay for the two days but to stay one week and hire a car. Mid September promised to have nice weather and it turned out to be true.
We four met at Thessaloniki airport and from first sight it was clear that we like each other and will make the best out of this short stay.
The couple was awaiting us at the hotel reception to give us the time schedule for the wedding days and they were so lovely. Since a long time a couple I met which was truly meant to be together. For the first night we just picked a small local restaurant and ordered a mix of different local dishes – try it if you ever go to Greece – it was delicious and not our last visit to a local restaurant. For the next evening the eve-of-the-wedding-party was planned where I’m not entirely sure if it was German or Greek or both’s traditions. It was a mix of cultures with the typical throwing crockery but also live music to dance the sirtaki, greek barbecue and German music, people talking without knowing the same language, an amazing evening or night to remember. But it was only the start. The big wedding was on the next day and fortunately not starting in the morning as we all were a bit sleepy. After a long and big breakfast the women were getting their hair done by an extra ordered stylist whereas most of the men went for a nap on the beach.
When all were ready we drove to a small Greek-orthodox church in the middle of a tiny village. It was so small that not even all guests were able to stay inside during the ceremony but that was handled easily. Doors just left open and from outside you still heard partly how the ceremony was conducted. But before we all including the stylish groom were waiting for the bride to arrive. The stylish groom? He was wearing a shiny light blue suit with a solver belt and silver shoes. Sounds weird but it was first suiting him and second to know he bet with the bride to surprise her with an unnormal outfit and she wasn’t believing him. So the moment they met in front of the church was lots of laughter and also lots of love flowing between them. The ceremony itself was held in Greek but was nice to watch. After that lots of rice was “raining” on the newlyweds which is still allowed there. I learned that its forbidden in Germany because the doves are eating too much of it and then kind of explode afterwards. And then the party started. You an say about Greek people what you like but one thing they absolutely can is celebrating. Even the oldest stayed until late at night and danced the Sirtaki. I can’t remember when I danced the last time a whole night long but this night was great. And after all the different courses of the menu also a good thing, some may take Ouzo as digestives, I prefer the Sirtaki. Many ended up after lots of ouzo and dancing to go for a swim in the early still dark morning hours which amused the rest of us. We went to bed around five in the morning which was a clear sign that the wedding was a full success not only for the bride and groom but also for the guests.
The few days we stayed afterwards were great relaxation and a bit of visiting heritage sites in Greece. I still have a reminder in my flat from this wedding as the bride was giving me one of a few olive branch crowns. She explained that her task is to give them to the persons she wants to get a special portion of luck in future and even if we met just a few days before she decided that I’m one of them. I was honored and this crown has now a place in flat, I keep it there as a reminder of this wonderful stay. Amazon.de Widgets

Thanks to Anna and Dino!

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First holidays on my own in Italy – part 3 (Departure)

First holidays on my own in Italy – part 3 (Departure)
One week alone in Italy – was it what I wanted?
On the bus travel back to the airport I was trying to draw a conclusion of what was good, what not so good.
There are many if I’m honest, I just tell about the main for me.
The first and most important lesson learned for me was that you always carry your mind with you, there’s no escape. But if you are out of your daily routine you are able to get another view on it. You have the time to re-think, over-think, search, at least I had the passion to do so and was driving back in a better shape.
Another good experience was not to be scared of traveling alone. If you are a bit communicative you will make contact to others. I kept it on a low level as my intention was not to make friends but nevertheless I had some nice chats with tourists like the two women or my neighbor couple as well as with some of the locals, the poolbar chief who had once a gelateria in Germany, one of his co-workers who proudly showed pictures of his newborn daughter and a farmer who lived near to the hotel.
This was a nice story as I was walking by each day and from time to time I was buying some of his fruits, tomatoes, pepper, and as he was only talking Italian he teached me some phrases. This reminded me again on my wish to learn Italian, unfortunately it’s still just a plan and I haven’t worked on it yet. But it showed me how friendly these people are and they don’t need big houses or expensive cars, they just enjoy there being which is something I took back with me.
Simplicity is often the healthier way to live instead of running after timelines, being stressed or work until you fell asleep exhausted in the middle of the night.
What I missed is someone to share the beauty with. If you are standing at the lighthouse and enjoy the beautiful view of the sea you miss someone next to you to share it with. I took so many pictures and for sure I shared them with others afterwards but the moment itself was just for me.
Also many of these places were romantic and these were the moments when I asked myself what I did wrong to be there alone instead of snuggling up into the arms of someone, but that’s life. Everything which happens in life has a deeper sense.
And it was still better than traveling in a group with a guide explaining stuff you don’t want to know. These guides which hold up an umbrella and you run after it. I think I would have felt even more lonely within such a group.
In the end it was exactly what I needed. I went back with new impressions, new thoughts, ready to do something in my life to change it. I wasn’t completely renewed but it was a step towards myself.
I regained the faith in me, trusting myself, having the ability to change and to live in a happy way.

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First holidays on my own in Italy – part 1 (Arrival)

First holidays on my own in Italy – part 1 (Arrival)
Did you ever had the feeling of being totally worn out?
It was last year September when I had the feeling the only thing I really need is silence, time for myself, lots of it.
This year was full of stupid bad stories and I was tired, soooo damn tired of everything.
I never went on holidays alone, it was always someone around me to share things with so I was a bit scared first of booking something just on my own.
What if I feel completely uncomfortable during the holidays or got homesick?
But the urge of relaxing and calming down was bigger than the little fear in the back of my mind. Not to over stress myself I decided to split my two weeks of holidays and start with a visit of family and friends, they can bring me back on track whenever I’m unsure, and for the second week I booked my first “just me” holidays.
I chose Italy as I’m loving the country.
When I was there for the first time I instantly fell in love with the landscape in Tuscany.
The food is one of my favorites and I’m also addicted to old buildings. But instead of looking for Rome or Milano I picked a small town in Calabria.
My aim was to relax and not to go from one big city to another and even if I like shopping so much, the need of silence was bigger.
Calabria in mid September meant still up to over 30°C and the sea was just a short walk away from the hotel.
Italy welcomed me with blue sky and lots of sunshine when I arrived in Lamezia Therme airport and the women from the travel agency was waiting for me to guide me to the bus driving tourists to their different destinations.
As I thought, there were so many German tourists, like the cliche with white socks in sandals, that I quickly turned my “I’m not German” mode on. After many travels I’m not too bad in pretending as I’m really almost running away when hearing my mother language in a foreign country. The last thing I wanna do is making friends somewhere. I have friends, thanks, and I’m fine just on my own. Even better than with groups of persons who order German food in Italy or expect everyone to talk German just because they are not able to adapt.
I sat down at the window and put music on my ears. It would be an one hour drive through Calabria and I just wanted to enjoy the view.
The music was not too loud, I was still able to hear people talking behind and in front of me and it proofed quickly that I wasn’t wrong with my assumptions.
“How dirty, did you see? They just put the garbage on the street. Plastic bottles, they need to put them extra in a separate trash can. This would never be possible at home.”
“Hey, there’s a German restaurant, remember the name so we may go there one day. Honey, our hotel has a German menu, I checked it upfront.
“It’s too hot here, I thought it’s around 25°C, hopefully it will cool down a bit during our stay.”
“Oh, did you see how the houses look like? Cannot imagine to live like they do. Awful.”
“Each car has big scratches, the decision to fly was the right, not that ours got damaged here.”
You wanna more, I still have many sentences in my portfolio.
I know that not everyone is like that but honestly, most of the tourists are annoying me wherever I have been.
I experienced the same in Hungary, Greece, Malta, UK, Spain,…
Maybe it’s me, sensing it, but in the end I try my best everywhere to get out of sight very quickly before I’m getting mad.
When we stopped in front of my hotel two women were leaving the bus together with me. I was the first at the reception for checking in and the receptionist was directly talking English so I communicated with her that way until I got my room keys.
The bad thing of traveling alone was the time of breakfast and dinner. I skipped lunch as I didn’t want to stay near the hotel each day to be in time for lunch. But there were still the mornings and evenings where I had a singe table just for me. And I was the only person there traveling alone. It felt strange the first evening, I had the feeling as if everyone is watching me. And not only watching, also like feeling sorry for me, sitting there so lonely.
Not to feel to uncomfortable myself I started to analyze the people around me.
The couple in the room next to me was, who thought it, from Germany and the wife said hello to me when I first stepped out on my balcony. They had a table on the other side of the room and she was smiling from time to time, saying cheers across the room. He just turned once to see to whom she cheered and then they were talking to each other like couples do when eating outside.
Next to me were the two women I had on the bus. They were also saying cheers in a nice but unsure way. They were talking a bit but nothing really interesting, just about the trip itself, that it seems to be a nice spot they chose and what to plan for the next days. The rest was only looking and from the different expressions on their faces you could start to assume their thoughts.
The young couple with the baby, he was staring from time to time whereas it was for me like he’s dreaming about something completely not related to me, I was just sitting in the same direction. She was looking at him as if she was jealous not realizing the situation at all. Maybe he was just tired, and she not feeling comfortable after giving birth with her own look, who knows but I wasn’t the reason for the silence between them while eating.
An old American couple where both were chatting as if there’s no tomorrow, where you saw they are not listening to what the other one is saying. Two people living in separate worlds but still a couple. They seemed as if they arranged and it was OK for them.
There was another old couple in a completely different style. She was only serving her husband, not saying anything without being asked. From time to time you saw in her face thoughts running but before she was starting to talk she held herself back with a sad face. He was only ordering, can you give, could you go and ask, will you bring, not even a please.
Interesting but also scary, how would I be one day? What I saw there was nothing I would love for my life.
After we finished dinner and just had our drinks left in front of us my room neighbor was waving me over to join her and her husband. She told me it’s hard to see someone sitting there alone although I was not looking sad or unhappy.
A nice gesture and it was ok. I wanted to travel alone but that doesn’t meant to avoid each human contact.
The two women who arrived with me were more than surprised and stopped on their way to leave the dinner. “Are you German? We just heard you during check-in and we’re both sure you must be from UK or US, what an awesome English you are talking.”
Not too bad as compliment because it was proofing that I really can pretend to be anything but German if I want to.
The first day was coming to an end and the first hurdles like eating my dinner alone were taken. I was tired in a good way and just sat for one hour on my balcony, reading Paulo Coelho’s ‘Warrior of light’, listening to the chirping of crickets, enjoying the sounds and smell of Italy.
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City or countryside?

City or countryside?
City or countryside?
 
I will turn thirty-five in November and luckily met a man who’s thinking in the same direction as me about life.
 
I have a small flat in the middle of the city.
Perfect if you wanna have the complete city feeling. Cafés and restaurants are just around the corner as well as supermarkets and the green stripe of the river where you have the feeling to be in nature.
That was exactly what I ever wanted when I moved to this place.
My area has grown during the past years and is nowadays one of the hip places to live in Munich.
But why am I not satisfied anymore?
It’s not that I don’t like my flat, it’s still my home, my place where I’m feeling so comfortable but I’m starting more and more to miss the silence.
Not silence like taking earplugs and shut down the world around you.
No, silence like hearing no cars outside twenty-four hours, like not closing the window just to hear what they say on TV, like being outside and having only birds and bees and wind around you which makes sounds while hitting a tree.
A place to step out of the door and being in peace.
A place to slow down and also a place where you can imagine to raise up a child freely.
 

Am I getting old or is it just the normal way to settle down at a certain age?

 
On the other hand I will not completely loose the comfort a city has.
A wide spread variety of different restaurants, we have almost each country here and it’s always exciting to try some unknown food.
Shopping is also so easily done as you will find everything you can think of.
Meeting friends in a café especially in summer is awesome. Sitting outside and just watching the busy people around you is something I like so much.
But would I like it if I always see the same persons like in a small village?
For sure not because this was one of million reasons why I moved.
 

You have to decide what you want…

 
I want a quiet place with a small garden and nature around me but it should only take me no more than fifteen minutes to be in the middle of the city.
Also important is that it’s near to an airport as we will need in more often in future.
I need it from time to time as I’m not traveling too much nowadays but my future husband will not move completely to Germany.
He has his job which he likes so much and we may be able to start our life together in 4-5 week rhythms.
So what to look for?
I’m a person who always wants to plan and organize and know where to be when. But that’s not what life’s about.
 
Perfect would be a small house around Munich where we live and raise our children one day?
No, because where is the father – just there every four weeks?
 
Perfect would be a house in Libya?
No, as I haven’t been there up to now and I cannot imagine something I never saw.
 
Perfect would be moving to a country we both can imagine like UK?
No, as we don’t know how it work out with our jobs.
 
Too many No’s at the moment but where we have a big YES is the question if we want to travel the path of our life together and wherever it will lead us, we will make it hopefully or how libyans say, inshallah.
 
Keep the faith!
 
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What is high society about?

What is high society about?

Fame and fortune, money and sex, drugs and Rock’n’Roll, many think these are the key words for high society.
I see it differently and say it is superficiality.
 
Superficiality?!?
My impression and experience are saying definitely YES.
I had a very bad year in Munich.
(Ok, it were two but the second was a hard way back to myself, that’s another story.)
 
The first year had the overall theme “how to distract myself from the messy life I’m leading”.
 
A relationship where I wasn’t sure if it’s better to stay or to leave.
In order not to think too much about it I was putting myself in a surrounding of ‘so-called’ friends.
Friends who are always happy and smiling and who have no problems at all in their entire life.
 

The first superficial sign!

 
Any human being around the globe has good and not so good or sometimes really bad days. The ones who are hiding who they really are behind a certainly bleached smile are the persons I am writing about.
 
Of course I can only write about my experience. This is no social report about people in Munich, but I think you can find this phenomenon everywhere.
 
As long as you meet these society’s expectations you are very welcome on each and every occasion.
 

What means meeting expectations?

 
They want you to be perfect.
Perfectly dressed, stylish, educated, on the top of actual discussion topics, intelligent, always in a good mood, funny, slightly sarcastic, successful in your business (even better if it’s your own business), interested, and that is how the list goes on and on.
You should have, or at least pretend to have, the money to live an above average standard.
 
Adapt to these expectations is much easier for women, you only pay the drinks once and show that you could afford it and from there on it is definitely a self runner.
You will be invited most of the times – the only money you need is for the taxi back home (if you want to go home alone). It is not that you are invited by men who expect something in return, it is more that you become part of this society. Several persons just book half restaurants to celebrate something and you are invited. As soon as the “group leaders” know your name you’ll find yourself on guest lists for events, openings, charity concerts and more.
 

That sounds awesome, does it? But believe me, it isn’t!

 
I have to admit that I really had lots of fun in the beginning – me, grown up in a small village, in the society of “top” people, which are all successful in what they do and the world is just so easy. Just enjoy life to the fullest.
The dark site of this game is quicker there than you think.
All these people live something which they a.) cannot afford or b.) is a fake or (and this is the biggest mistake) c.) they think life is all about.
 
It’s a big society of pretenders.
They are all artists, singers, actors, high society ladies and so on but at the end of the day they are all poor human beings with low self esteem, lonely and without friends – until the next event starts.
They’re also not successful, the really successful people will not show up there because they know the game.
If you enter the community you will be pulled into it which isn’t good.
Fake Persons
How I Learned To Stop Being Superficial

Leaving this part of my life behind…

  I realized after a few weeks that you see the same faces, each and everywhere; why? Because they have no personal life and no real sense in their being. I intended to live this lifestyle because I was also running. Running away from myself, from lonely nights, from decisions which were long overdue and which I wanted to avoid. The difference is that most of these people, these always seen faces, lead their life in this way since years, sometimes more than decades.   I saw them all, if you start to look behind the scenes you’ll find the actor who has no engagements anymore, who drinks at night to survive the dark and lonely nights.   Or the old rockstar, who once was great, who was successful with his band for a year or two and who is still not accepting that his life is not the rockstar life anymore, and it will not return just because he dresses like one with over sixty.   The model from the seventies thinks she is not getting older because of botox and beauty surgeries.   If the curtains fall, then piece by piece you will find yourself in the middle of the rocky horror “people” show.

Is this what I wanted? NO

My decision was clear, leaving this life behind and face why I turned towards it. Facing the mess my life has been at this stage was the hard way. Running away is much easier, or better said, it seems much easier. Running isn’t easy too, maybe it is the sad way because this life is so unreal until they awake, if they wake up at all, and for some it will be too late by then. My hard way was the way to get back on my path, to find my values, what do I expect from myself and how do I wanna live.   A journey which is never ending and where you can never say I reached the goal until you die but at least I’m on the way to the right direction. But this is another topic, another idea for the next post maybe…

One book recommendation would be “An Elegant Madness: High Society in Regency England”. Enjoy