Lao Tzu once said…

Lao Tzu once said…

My son is my life

so many things that I barely know where to start but one thing stayed in my mind, especially now that I am a mom of an almost two-year old who starts to check where his limits are.

A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.

The more you try as a mom to insist the more your child will try to break through. If I sit down with my son and talk with him and try to explain him the world the more he will lose interest and start doing something else.

If I gently guide him towards an experience he can make himself the more he understands and also accepts.

We are all busy and stressed, there are thousands of things during a normal day we have to do but I actively try more and more to put a stop in, for my son and for my own sanity.

I never decided to become a mother to be a leader and have someone who should obey me. I decided to become a mother because giving life is the biggest miracle, because this amount of pure love is something you can not describe. My son is my life and he should not be the victim of my life choices!

Is there something more pure than a child at the beginning of life?

This treasure of innocence is something I don’t want to lose or better written I don’t want to take it away from him (life will do that anyway one day).

His curiosity is something to “work” with. Children are hungry to explore, they understand so much and we should stay in the background as their guardians to protect them on their journey.

So to better understand what I mean, here’s one of a million examples.

My son starts to take the stairs and yes, it takes a lot of time in the beginning! When I need to be fast because we are late the easiest is to pick him up but this causes frustration on his side and to be honest, on my side as well when I see him frustrated. I’m a human being and it won’t always be possible but if he generally is allowed to walk by himself (and I mean by himself without holding my hand) he realizes quite fast that it’s not yet easy for him. He gives his best and is reaching out to me after a couple of stairs he took alone.  He’s the proudest little man when he manages it on his own and it’s his choice to go up and be carried the rest. We both are happy.

There are so many things where we should trust our children – they grow and learn and build their personalities with their own pace and our job is to be there along the way, BE THERE, not chase them, not force them, not expect them to do something because others can do it already, TRUST! Be there and trust your child!

As I’m the mom and by law his legal guardian many consider me to be his authority and yes, I have the responsibility for my son. So if I am the authority in his life then I want to be the gentle one – the one he barely feels, who is meeting him on eye level.

True authority lies in gentleness – this is how we should see it.

My son should one day look back at his childhood and feel a ton of love present along the way, a lot of precious memories, a lot of having fun together, a lot of warmth and lovely shivers when he thinks back to the time we spent together.

We all are human beings which means we all make mistakes, as long as we never lose sight of the big picture, the way we walk side by side, we all are fine.

Sending lots of love <3

 

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Blogging Mom

Blogging Mom

Hey there,

I do call myself a blogging mom because that’s what I do – sometimes – irregular – when there’s time – yeah, indeed not that often – BUT I do it.

Who’s a blogging mom and who defines that?

If I look just at myself, self reflection is a good thing, isn’t it, then I see that whenever I find the time to write I enjoy it like Christmas and my birthday together. This time is MY time.

But this rarely happens – am I a bad blogger?

I think I’m an authentic blogger, that’s what I like to call myself because it turns me into something positive. Why should I call myself bad and have a bad feeling because of it?

I mean, honestly, I am a mom and how much time moms have? Answer honest.

Almost no time at all which enables us to sit on a clean desk in a clean flat or house with a mind focused only on the newest topics everyone is talking about…

I’m happy when I can catch up with what’s in at the moment at all between changing diaper, playing, working, cooking, doing the laundry, etc. – I don’t have to make that list because most of you know very well what I mean.

How the heck are moms able not only to write twice or more per week OR even do vlogs? You don’t want to see daily vlogs or Instagram stories from me, I promise you.

These perfect families are suspicious (for me) – do they have jobs? Do they have dirty carpets? Do they have to do grocery shopping with a crying child because it’s not getting everything it wants? I wonder where the normal families are where life is wonderful, absolutely wonderful, but far away from perfect.

My home is a place where we live and the only time when it looks completely sorted and clean is either directly after cleaning or when we are not there. That’s real life.

Back to the topic – I would love to write on this blog daily, I would love to be here more frequently and share what’s on my mind, but at the moment my life has other priorities, the main is 22 months old and doesn’t like it at all when mommy is sitting on the desk.

If you go back to my first posts here you see that this blog is my life, it needs to adapt to the needs and I’m happy to adapt to my child’s needs so that’s what we are.

A little family with a blogging mom, a growing child, a husband and dad without whom I would not have this time even, and a life we three love like crazy.

I hope you stay even if you don’t see new posts every week. Be sure there will be another one – soon – when there is a tiny time slot for me to start writing.

Until then take care, kiss your loved ones and embrace the mess in your life because that’s what is most important!