You see the window on this picture, that’s “my” window, it was taken while we were on our first holidays on Cyprus.
My husband gave me the sight back – I was blind, blind in regards to life.
Too many struggles, never ending thoughts, resignation, running in circles, I simply lost the view towards my own future. Life was mainly dark and silent and then he stepped all of a sudden into my life and was so optimistic.
Life is not easy but we should live it as whatever is meant to happen will happen – his faith. We are both faithful persons but in complete different meanings.
What counts is the outcome – being able to love yourself, listen to your heart, trust others, look forward instead of living in the past.
The past is not our life anymore so we need to let it go.
This window is special as it was in an old castle and the way up scared me, always the abyss in sight and for me far too close to the car.
He reassured me, nothing will happen.
He was wrong – something happened – within me!
I trusted because he was confident to take us up there safe.
I looked forward to discover the ruins.
I enjoyed this amazing view with his arms around me, safe and sheltered.
And most important – I was absolutely sure that this view will change my life, this view we enjoyed together, the old ruins we discovered but then left behind like our past.
Sometimes you need to fall, but there will always be one person helping you getting back on track if you struggle and are scared of making it on your own.
I was on the edge of my own darkness, I crawled up slowly throughout the year before these holidays and I have to thank him for dragging me out there before I may fall in again.
This last piece of the way was what stopped me. Maybe because I had no aim to walk towards to.
Love is a great power in both ways, the good and the bad.
Today I can say I found the good, the one that is real and the one where you are loved just the way you are.
Does Pink Floyd’s “Coming Back To Life” reflect my life?
Who loves music not only for the beat but for the lyrics?
I’m a music addict!
Dancing or feeling the beat are nice but the heart of music are the lyrics.
If a song doesn’t have a message it’s not a song I will add to my play list.
Texts are the most important part for me followed by the music composition.
Let’s have a look at the lyrics
I recently listened often to Pink Floyd’s ‘Coming back to life’ while I’m checking out songs for our wedding day. My husband loves this song and it reflects parts of his life so I was wondering if it reflects parts of my life as well.
Songs are emotions many know but only a few are able to say them
I would even say that many songs probably would fit into many life stories but not all humans are thinking deeply about their own life. There are always those who wipe emotions away quickly as it seems to be the easy way. I personally would say this way is wrong but I’m not the one to teach others, at least for me I think that I have to face it all and only this way I’m able to reflect, think about, learn, yes, even suffer, because in the end I’m more wise than before. That’s for sure not the easiest way but the most proper from my point of view.
There were times when I was exactly thinking that. Relationships in the past where I thought we were meant to be but when I needed the other one most I was standing alone. A true sign that it wasn’t meant to be but this is something I knew afterwards only.
“While the days slipped by from my window watching”
There were many of these days where you are unable to move. Stuck within deepest grief for whatever reason. Scared of when this state will change again or is it getting worse and ends up in a depression? People around me were telling me to stand up again, let go of the past and live and but I was still unable to move forward. Being stuck in the dark is sometimes needed to start all over again.
“Where were you when I was hurt and I was helpless”
Wishing for one special person to knock on my door, pick up the phone or show me at least a small sign of interest. The feeling that nobody cares is the worst. And it’s in most cases not even true. I always had persons who cared about me, but they were not the one I was longing for. I felt hurt and helpless but knew always that I have family and friends. They would always be there, nevertheless it wasn’t getting me out of this state as the “One” wasn’t showing up to be there at my side.
“Because the things you say and the things you do surround me”
Exactly, I remembered words and gestures, moments which passed by already but still were present and overlaid the reality. Life went into a state of dreaming, wishing, remaining still where I want to be although everything around me went on. Getting out was hard but worth it and sometimes it needs someone real to drag you out of this lethargy.
“While you were hanging yourself on someone else’s words”
This is a mean thing as I at least know from myself that these words become other meanings the longer you try to interpret them. Sentences which were totally clear remained in my mind until I saw them completely different just to have a valid reason for myself to hang on a bit longer. Words are often nice and charming but if actions never follow be careful.
“Dying to believe in what you heard”
One thing I learned from the past is that talking is absolutely important. Listening for sure as well. I heard many promises and plans but they never became reality. I love to talk about deeper thoughts and many other things but there is a big BUT.
Actions have to follow!
You can talk about planning something endlessly, but if you never start to do it, all those words are without meaning.
“I was staring straight into the shining sun”
Sunshine makes happy and I tried to escape from my messed up life and traveled to enjoy sunshine. What happened is that I realized quickly that there is no escape! Sunshine is nice, but it will never be able to erase your thoughts and feelings. I don’t know how many hours I stayed in the bright sunshine just staring into the sun, it were many. I felt low but the sun on my skin gave me the feeling of being alive.
“Lost in thought and lost in time”
What can travel and sunshine give? This travel and sunshine gave me time! Time to think about everything. What do I want, where do I wanna go, what do I expect from my life? And even more important what do I expect from myself.
Time out of the everyday circle to really sit down and think, forgetting the time and just listening to yourself, that’s a gift!
“While the seeds of life and the seeds of change were planted”
It was grounding me, getting me back partly to the person I was before. A change needs time and sometimes it’s not easy to remain in that state when heading back home. But what it does is planting seeds, like reminders for yourself not to fall into the same state you were about to escape from.
“Outside the rain fell dark and slow”
There’s no sunshine without rain and vice versa. Life isn’t always happy and yes, there were days when everything seemed to be dark again.
I unfolded in the darkness. What I learned is indeed that the darkness was needed to ground me and to bring me back to my raw inner self. Without these dark moments I would not have been able to start all over again.
“While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime”
Ghosts from the past were hunting me, no more daily but they still were present in my life. You can never erase the past completely, it is a part of your life and will remain but these ghosts will fade and loose shape after a while.
“I took a heavenly ride through our silence”
I never said I hate something but I learned that I hate silence.
Not the silence when you are alone in a house or walking through a forest, no, I hate emotional silence. The silence when two persons, who where more than close to each other, stop communicating. Or let me say it better, if you are not getting answers any more. This silence hurts and is able to break a person.
“I knew the moment had arrived”
For killing the past and coming back to life.
It took almost years and ‘the moment’ were many moments, quietly popping up in my life, showing me there is a future and I can make it.
Inner strength built up in tiny steps, month by month, week by week.
A moment can be a day or a month or a year, a moment is defined by yourself.
“I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the waiting had begun”
Waiting for the day when the past is no longer important in the present. It will stay in the past where it belongs to, where it was important but the way forward should be free and open.
“And headed straight..into the shining sun”
Yeah, and sometimes it fits completely!
I struggled for a long time and the way back was hard and full of stones but it was worth it.
I married my shining sun and most important, there is no silence!