What else happened during the past weeks?

What else happened during the past weeks?

There is so much to write about from the past weeks besides the engagement, the family visits and our islamic wedding that I don’t even know where to start.
Shortly after my love arrived from Libya he proposed to me and made me the happiest person ever. But after a proposal the planning starts and this is honestly not that easy. Two cultures, two countries, Europe and North Africa, Christian and Muslim, woohoo, lots to keep in mind and focus on. But some wise man one day said ‘love can handle everything’ so here we go on our journey to be finally husband and wife. For the legal part the first step was to ask just for informations about a wedding in Germany. To make it easy we choose the registry office in my birth town. It’s a small city and you don’t have to wait ages until they have a date for you but it quickly turned out that we have to check it in Munich as I’m officially registered there. The first sentence almost before the woman working there said hallo was – you have to pay before we start to review the fact sheet for a binational wedding. What a start, the first money already spent before we know anything. Next was that she was approaching my fiancé in German. And what a surprise, his German is not enough to consent to anything legal so even if he’s speaking clearly English and also is trusting my translations we have to bring a certified translator when we want to apply for the wedding. As if that’s not enough we got a full list of documents he has to bring translated and certified in Germany! It is not sufficient if the translation and certification was done in Libya and the German embassy there, no, we have to authorize a German agency. Sure we have because it is more expensive to do it here and my feeling is that the registry office is supporting local agencies but that’s just my thinking…
If we have all documents in place and applied for the wedding the documents will be checked at several departments. This hopefully won’t take too long as most documents will expire after six months, they cannot be older than that, otherwise we have to arrange again the whole paper stuff. If they agree within these 6 months, then the registry office in Munich will send everything to the small registry office of my home town and we can schedule a date with them.
This would be perfect as it is smaller, more intimate, located in a small park instead of a grey building and most important, we would have our families around. Belgium is not too far away from my parents, so his uncle could be there as well as my family.
Let’s keep our fingers crossed that it will work without major problems and we soon are also legally husband and wife!
Keep the faith and never lose hope!

How is it to meet his family

How is it to meet his family

After we spent lovely days with my family we moved on to meet part of his family in Belgium.
I was excited as he told me so many stories upfront about his uncle in Belgium who is married to a Belgian. How will it be? Will I be accepted and welcomed in the same way as he was? Many questions for me as there still is a difference as his uncle is older and Libyan, kind of a respectable person. Even if he’s living in Belgium for a long time and his daughters were raised there I knew also stories about him having problems with the western life style of his daughter.
I’m completely western, yes, I had contact with Arabic cultures but first of all they differ from country to country and second is that people are always acting in a way they can justify for themselves. So what to expect?
I expected nothing, I just assumed from his stories that we would at least go along in a friendly way for the coming days. My thesis always is that I have to meet persons first to see myself how they are and I didn’t changed it in this case. For his uncles wife I was pretty sure upfront that we will like each other and it turned out to be right. When we arrived his uncle was still working but his uncles wife welcomed me in the same loving way I’m used to from my family. We were very quickly talking about each and everything as if we knew each others already. When his uncle arrived home he was acting a bit like my father, greeting me but then watching me eating, moving, talking. During dinner he warmed up and started to ask me what I’m working, about my family, normal stuff. His wife told me later that evening that he likes me and that he’s entirely happy for his nephew that he found his second part. My fiancé told me the same when we went to sleep. Sleeping in one room but in single beds, the uncle is the older one and he’s making the rules in his house. It was ok for two nights even if I think it’s kind of funny. We are no teenagers anymore but we accepted it. The next day was separated in the morning. His uncle likes to go to a big fruit market nearby because he can taste all fruits there without buying them and its kind of a hobby for him to do it. In the end he’s always buying but I like how he behaves, the little boy in the old man is visible. My fiancé was there with him already and liked it too, also in him the child is present, which is great. So the men planned to go there and I had to choose if I want to join them or if I go with the uncles wife to another biological market to buy vegetables for dinner. I choose to join her for several reasons. It’s not that I’m a big fan of shopping for dinner but I wanted the men to be able to talk just for them and I also wanted to listen to stories from a woman’s point of view. The decision was good as we talked non stop and became well acquainted within just a few hours. I heard stories about how difficult it was raising daughters and how they managed it, the mother is always on the daughters side and even more if she’s born and raised in a western country, at least it was the case for them and I can imagine myself being similar if we may face the same discussions to be honest. Maybe even harsher, who knows. We are not there yet.
On the other hand she told me lots about Libya and how much she loves the country, they lived in tripoli for quite a while before moving back to Belgium when the daughters were in a school age as they wanted them to learn French as well as Arabic. Libya is present all over the house, pictures, paintings, books, jewellery, small tea plates, lots of stuff she bought during her travels to keep part of it with her in Belgium. Fascinating!
During lunch time the men returned and we had a quick lunch before his uncle wanted to show us Brussels and Waterloo. He drove fast not to miss a piece of what he planned and guided us through the centre of Brussels, quickly showing all the important places. It was really cute, he was showing me that he likes me in his style. Standing beside me for pictures and happily smiling all the time. He even bought the chocolate I wanted as gift for my parents, not letting us pay.
In Waterloo we were climbing up the felt thousands of stairs on the memorial although it was foggy and slightly raining, breathlessly reaching the top. He was opening up more and we had a coffee together afterwards before heading back. It was a great day!
After dinner at home my fiancé and me went out on the terrace and what we were watching then was again so lovely, his uncle went into the kitchen and started to put dishes and cups on the table to prepare it for breakfast. He’s doing it every night so that his wife doesn’t have to do in the morning. When she’s waking up the breakfast table is already prepared. So much about the MAN in the family, he’s caring and loving. Cutting fruits for all of us so that we get enough vitamins in winter to stay healthy, talking proudly about his grand child’s, that’s why I said in the beginning, never go preoccupied into something, discover yourself how someone is and mostly it’s the small things which matter so much.
The next day we were about to leave after breakfast and the most impressive gesture for me was that his uncle was holding my hand closely, squeezing it while telling me that he is glad we met each other and he hopes to see me soon again. That was the “yes” from his side.
Faithfully, Mrs. Faith!


Waiting for the day…

Waiting for the day…

Waiting for the day...

It’s near now, the day my fiance will finally be with me again, and what am I doing?

Starting to clean my flat but not in a normal way, no, from the deepest places up to what is visible.
Why am I doing it? Simple explanation, I just want to focus on what’s important during his stay and not thinking about stupid cleaning or sorting out or whatever during this precious time.

And besides I do this normally every two or three years but nowadays it’s something special.

One wardrobe is almost empty for him to store his clothes. Nothing would be more stupid than living out of a suitcase for one month and I want him to have the feeling to be at home and not feeling like a guest.

The same for my bathroom which is normally crowded with my bottles and creams and make up, now it’s pure and clean and free space for men’s stuff (which isn’t that much compared to women’s).

The living room is as cosy as it could be because it will be wintertime and it’s already getting colder each day. A place to snuggle up in warm light and relax, that’s how I like it and how it always has been but now it becomes a special meaning. We will spend our time here together once again and I can’t wait for the days to pass by until its reality.

These weeks will be exciting as we will meet parts of the family, mine and his, so the plan is to drive there at the beginning of his stay so that we end up with lots of time afterwards just for the two of us.

It’s interesting to start something new with the unique feeling of having found the missing piece in life.

Sure, as adults, there have been relationships in the past but if you then found someone where it feels so right just from the very first beginning it’s something special. It’s hard to explain but I already thought I found it and was proven wrong afterwards and now it’s so different.

Different in the best meaning as I cannot see one single piece which could separate us. This is something I never had before, the feeling of being completely complete with this man on my side even when it seems for outsiders not that easy – living thousands of miles apart, out of different cultures, that cannot be easy.

I can assure you it is!

If you love each other as basis and then discover the same humor, the same sense of what life should be like for the two of you, the same opinions about values, family, even the same taste in many things, then you are able to make it. Even if I’m completely stressed and tired after a long working day I just need to hear his voice shortly and calm down because I know that this is more important than anything else.

Relationships are precious and not only the one to your wife/husband, boyfriend/girlfriend, partner or fiancé.

Life is built on relationships with every kind of human being as these are the people around you who should be there for you whatever life is going to give you.

People who bring you down, make you sad, are envying you or putting stones on your way are the wrong ones, this is also something to sort out. I did it a few months ago and that was the right decision.

Surround yourself with honest persons!

It’s early for me to write all these sentences but I am absolutely doubtless. Which doesn’t mean that we won’t face difficulties but I’m sure we will go towards each other when facing them to find the middle way instead of running apart.

No one said life is easy so why should we give up on something we finally found so easily?

It will be an absolutely exciting time, my family can’t wait almost like me to meet the new family member and my mom is already caring as if her own son is coming home, asking me every now and then what to cook for the first evening and buying warm bedclothes so that he is not freezing in winter time.

And his family will be another adventure for me. He has an uncle in Belgium who moved there a long time ago, also married to a European, and I like to listen to their stories on how they did it. They still seem to be happy together and this is what we want for our future.

So you see, there are many things more important than cleaning up and when the most is done before he arrives I just can focus on the main parts in life.

Another effect is that I start to sit on my couch more relaxed when I know that I have nothing else to do instead of enjoying quality time.

It’s freeing my mind and soul and is giving me a certain kind of serenity.

Not faithless – no, full of faith!
Take care!