… is not a virtue – being kind is.
Just a little reminder at times where people start discussing for multiple reasons.
Be kind, don’t judge, rather leave quietly instead of engaging with rage.
We all walk around not knowing perfectly where we go, so be gentle with the lost ones, be kind to the confused, we only see a change in humanity if we start to change ourselves first.
But if I look around we are further away from it than ever before.
This sentence is on point – we are so free in this century than never before but instead of using this freedom wisely it is abused. People are hiding behind their mobile devices and hit other with words, written out, stamped and traceable, the seem to be fearless in the sanctuary of their own home.
I love to reach many people across the globe with what I write here but if I check social media it also scares me. For almost every news line you read you find comments below which are hard to take in. Many are so awfully beyond what is considered respectful that I wonder what monsters hide behind these profiles.
A mother loses her child – comments start from “why didn’t she watch her child better” and end with “She doesn’t deserve to be called mother”.
People in an ICU were burned to death due to a fire breakout in the hospital track – comments are “You see, with the flu symptoms you better would have stayed at home instead of calling it Covid-19 and blocking the ICUs” or “who cares, their own fault”.
A new Corona-Hotspot has been named and one of the first comments is “Why don’t the finally stop to let immigrants in, the borders should be closed” – this is so completely out of context.
I’m just sitting and staring at the screen, wondering when all of this happened.
It is like a disease, slowly entering every space. These “monsters” start to reveal their faces when going out on the streets, we have seen it several times. I’ve never heard about so many demonstrations before against the government than in 2020. Especially when it would be the time to stay at home they start to show up in masses outside.
If we want peace, the start should be within us! If we want freedom, we should not try to take freedom away from others. It is just a simple game, only do to others what you want others to do to yourself. Do I want to be attacked by strangers because of my mindset? Surely not! So why would I attack someone who is different than I?
When it comes to spirituality many people claim it for themselves, as if they own it, as if they are the incarnation of wisdom. If you are a spiritual person, then you don’t fight for it! You live it because you want to go ahead and be a role model for others.
Smile and step away. Know when it is worth to explain your side but also know when it is completely senseless. Being quiet sometimes means being wise and not getting involved in the drama. I’m a person who loves to “correct” if I see false assumptions but I also know how to take care of my mind and soul. The more I get involved with stubborn people, the more my energy levels disappear. I don’t want to feel depressed because of what others think? Their drama is not my cup of tea, instead I rather drink a cup of tea in peace and surround myself with the positive things life has in store for us.
With all the bad news and craziness around us, we can learn to see the positive and once we change our mindset we start to be happier. You cannot change the world, no, but you can change your world and the more you change the more others see that it works.
To live peacefully is our right and we are the first person to be in charge of it. Only when you change profoundly to the good you can start to see the good in every situation.
What if we comment on each and every bad comment we read something nice?
Let’s start a wave of positivity rolling over the web – there must be more people out there who are compassionate and empathic and nice than the ones who are not.
For every nice reply to a mean comment add the hashtag #BeThePeaceYouWantToSee Who is with me? I can’t take it any longer that mean and harsh comments remain uncommented and instead of starting war we just are as we would all to be, peaceful and positive!
I never ask you to share something – this time I ask you – please do us all a favour and share, the more who participate the more we reach together.
Thanks so much <3 Namaste & stay safe
A whole new year lays ahead of us and I’m excited.
Excited and positive, anxious and scared.
Life is unpredictable which makes it interesting but scary at the same.
As a perfectionist you are going to hate it not to know what comes next but the truth is, we will never know what comes next. Neither planning nor wishing will bring us to the point that a life is going as smoothly as we would like.
I just need to look around our home and since we have a child it looks sometimes as if a bomb of Lego and toy animals exploded.
The wonderful part of these “explosions” is that there is life! I admit that I would sometimes which for this old home where you don’t have to clean 24/7 without an end in sight, the times where I just sat down on the couch with a book because nothing else needed to be done. Nowadays there is no “nothing else needs to be done”. This wishing back the old days are only short moments because reality quickly sets in and I’m so grateful for this reality.
Life is far far far away from perfect and this imperfection is so lovely. We are the happiest when we three are together (my son, my husband and I) because indeed, that’s life, that’s reality, that’s all to wish for.
The perfectionist in me is almost crying because I have no idea how this year will go along but what I know is that we can manage all as long as we are a family and love each other like we do.
Is it wisdom that comes with age? I don’t know. Is it what you learn through motherhood? Maybe.
I cannot tell you when exactly this thinking was setting in for me-The more I think about life and what matters most the more I realize that there are profound things like love, trust, emotions, feeling grounded, mindfulness, thankfulness for what is, appreciation of what we have. These are what matters most.
The NOW of our life.
Tomorrow can be anything but if we manage to be happy now we reached a lot!
I’m not a spiritual teacher nor a motivation guide but the more I read and the more I do some research the more I see that many seem to seek happiness and fulfillment.
Our life has far too many choices to reach this stage and we get lost. We lose focus due to the amount of possibilities we have.
Nobody can have it all! I think this is the first and most important step towards an inner satisfaction of what is.
We need to stop ourselves along the way, take a step back, and start to sort. What are our personal priorities, what makes us really happy.
Social media are great, if used properly, and at the same time our personal nightmare, if used as a comparator (in both directions).
As long as we are realistic enough to know that we never ever see the whole picture on social media the usage may be utterly inspiring, we can learn lots and get input. There are some influencers out there who are really showing lots, their raw authentic self, but careful, for the majority we will never grasp the full picture and this is completely OK. We ourselves would also not expose our most vulnerable moments or dark sides to strangers. Just be sure that everyone has these sides (just not visible). The trick is to get inspired by the exposed good stories but don’t feel less worth because of our own failures.
The same goes for news – I barely read them nowadays because I feel more and more depressed, it seems as if there is no peace on earth at all but that’s wrong. Nobody will write a headline about a country at peace. We are responsible to filter all of this for ourselves because no news agency and no influencer and no person besides you is able to see what you need or what you can take at this moment.
You are the first responsibility for yourself and afterwards you decide what you watch, listen to, hear, read, where you step in, help, work, etc. This sounds selfish but it isn’t. Only if you feel at ease with yourself you will be capable of taking the rest.
My husband’s country is in a war state since we met. It won’t help if we start to site here each day and cry and complain and talk about how blessed we are to live here and what an injustice it is that his family is there and and and – it simply won’t help! We need to make sure that we are fine, we are parents, we have a responsibility. And when we are fine we can work, we can try to support, we can be the realistic part on the outside as we are not within, we can be the uplifting part when things go wrong again and try to soothe, we can only give our best in these moments. It is hard but that’s life – unfortunately – we cannot change the world but we can change our approach to our “small” circle in this world and try to be good examples. If everyone would be the best version of him or herself we would make a step in the right direction.
And at teh end of the day my biggest mantra for this year will be nobody is perfect and new ways are always possible – these sentences from a perfectionist are a big step.
My lessons learned from the past years. They may be an inspiration or just a small hint in which direction to think.
Being grateful for what we have and never taking anything for granted is one of the biggest epiphanies ever.
Living in a country without knowing war is not my achievement, it was simply luck of being born here at that time. Thanks!
Having met my husband was such a coincidence, this could never have been planned. Thanks!
Having a really full fridge is a blessing. Thanks!
You could go on like this but you know what, waking up each morning, feeling my heart beating should be reasonenough to be grateful for this life.
A whole new year…lays in front of us.
Let’s focus on the good.
Let’s try to ease the pain.
Let’s help where we can.
Let’s do what we can to make this a better place for all of us.
This year, next year and as long as we are here.
The Importance of Self-care…
I believe almost everyone can relate to this and many are saying now: I know but I have no time!
Exactly this “I have no time” is the crucial starting point!
Why do we all have no time?
I’m a mom and I can easily put my child in front of me and have the answer, plus being a full-time employee, so any more questions?
The thing is, it won’t help. It won’t help myself nor my job when I find excuses. I need to approach it differently and find time.
Time for myself, time for my sanity, time for self-care!
Now one of the questions will be, but what is self-care?
Everything that feels good and is lasting!
A glass of red wine in the evening may feel good for some but will it leave a good feeling? I don’t think so (which doesn’t mean that you should not drink it, it’s just not the solution to anything).
What is lasting (for me) for instance is reading a book – it’s giving me a good feeling in several ways. I do something just for myself, I read something which has an effect, it’s maybe funny or thoughtful or even life changing, books can have many effects. I will remember how I felt when I was reading a particular book simply because I built memories. It’s lasting.
Another example is sports (whatever you like), in this case for me Yoga. I roll out my mat, I’m standing bare-feet and grounded and I’m breathing before I start to move. Now you ask why this is lasting? Because my body is gaining strength, flexibility, my muscles ‘remember’ it, my brain is focusing only on one single item and has not “hundreds of tabs open” like a browser. This is sustainability for my body and health and even mental health. It’s lasting.
What else is self-care in general?
The word itself is the explanation. To care for one self!
Many tend to care for others and would give everything to make them happy which is a wonderful thing but it’s also dangerous. Dangerous because if they forget about themselves while focusing on all people around them they may lose themselves along the way.
Surely I care for my family, for my friends, for strangers even from time to time but to have the ability to care for others I need to be cared for and who can do this better than me?
I know myself better than anyone else would be able to so there is the point to start.
What do I need to feel happy, to be healthy, to de-stress, to CARE about me?
There are thousands of examples to be found on the internet which is a wonderful inspiration – important is that out of these you find what suits you best.
Not everybody likes to go in a downward facing dog or do a head stand and feels great afterwards.
YOUR way is the way you should find. It may be that you need an hour per day where you just sit on the front porch doing nothing – any this doing nothing for you means everything (so it’s not nothing!). It’s lasting because this doing nothing contains so much we don’t see as an outsider – it calms your body and mind, your whole system slows down and get’s rest which serves your health after a busy day, you have time to breathe deeply and just be with yourself. So this is exactly what you need? Great, go ahead and “do” this nothing!
Each morning you start your day with 15 minutes just for yourself – that’s self-care!
You need your daily soap for half an hour because there your thoughts are quiet and you just watch TV – that’s self-care!
You dance like crazy to your favorite songs for a while – that’s self-care!
You shower each evening before you go to sleep – that’s self-care!
You buy a chocolate and eat it all alone – that’s self-care! 🙂
You write a diary and this is your daily habit before dinner – that’s self-care!
You walk each weekend an hour alone through nature – that’s self-care!
You sit 10 minutes per day and meditate – that’s self-care!
Self-care has thousands of faces and that’s good.
There’s no ultimate guide, the rule is that you start to be mindful about yourself!
Learn what you need, learn who you are, treat yourself minimum as good as you would treat others.
What do you like most to care about yourself? I’d love to hear your stories <3
Take (self-) care!
Daily Mindfulness is so easy
Seriously, we often forget how easily we can have small time-outs because we are too stressed to realize.
Life is not that complicated, we make it complicated.
Are you showering? What question is that you may ask now.
Did you ever try to shut down your thoughts while being in the shower and started to be aware of the moment?
Raise your awareness instead of thinking about what to do next. Listen to the sound of the water, smell the soap, really smell it. Watch the water and follow it’s path, one drop against the tile, it’s slowly running down and ends up in the puddle your’re standing in. Realize how your hair becomes softer when it’s getting wet, see the chicken pox on your arm when you turn the water off. This shower experiences is like a little spa visit for free. You will feel better afterwards than before if you give yourself these little brain time-outs.
Another daily mindfulness idea is going for a walk. You don’t have to walk an hour if you don’t like walking because it’s not really about the walking itself, it’s more about the whole experience. You step outside and actively feel and see and smell where you are.
What sound does it make when you walk, are your shoes making a sound or the surface you are walking on and how does it change when you step on another surface from tar to grass for instance. What are you doing with your arms, are they swinging, are you walking with your hands in your pockets? Is your breathing different? Listen to your breath, try to calm it down while you are walking and inhale deeply, how does it feel?
Do you see the little birds along the way or the trees which are loosing all leaves right now? There are so many little things we don’t see when we daily rush by and it’s beautiful to realize them one after the other.
So, and for how long were you walking now, because the best thing is that you start to loose track of time and all of a sudden you were walking much longer than anticipated. These are the precious moment which energize you and give you the power to go through the really stressful times for example at work.
I have lots of other examples but will end up with giving you my favorite third one.
Lay down – yeah, that’s a great one, isn’t it?
If you read my blog for a while you know that I love Yoga and when I say “lay down” I mean laying down in a yoga way.
One wonderful asana (yoga pose) to relax is Supta Baddha Konasana or the reclined bound angle:
Actually my aim was to show you a picture of me in one of my favorite relaxing positions but try to make some yoga pictures when your toddler in running around you.
The result was the following:
That’s life with children and it’s so worth it!
You’ll find millions of pictures on the web but this moment will last a lifetime.
Back to the relaxation pose – besides this reclined bound angle there are several other Yoga poses which are not complicated at all but give you instantly a time out and also time to focus on something completely different.
Child’s Pose is one, it relieves back pain and when you lay your forehead on the floor you will have new sensations I assume you never did since a while – did you smell the floor? I like our wooden floor as it has a wonderful smell which I only can realize when I am like that on the floor.. Outside in the grass is great as well, when the grass is tickling your nose and you close your eyes and just feel the earth below you.
If it comes to relaxing yoga poses I could go ahead for a while I assume, but the essence is that you do what feels good for you and that you just start to open your mind to what surrounds you at that very moment.
It’s indeed much easier than we think as life is not that complicated, it’s all about feeling, tasting, smelling, being, living – mindful moments are present every second of our life, we just have to raise our awareness to appreciate them instead of rushing through our life as if we are hunted. We aren’t, we are here to live this life we have.
What are your mindful moments? What do you like to do to feel yourself again?
I would be happy to know your thoughts.
Take care!
