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Thoughts On how to Behave during a Pandemic

Thoughts On how to Behave during a Pandemic from a Yoga Teacher

Thoughts On how to Behave during a Pandemic

from a Yoga Teacher

A pandemic hits everyone, yogi or not, and all of us will have a different opinion on how to behave. I’m not questioning that and I will not judge it (which is even the first point to consider).

Judging

Judging – who are we to judge? It won’t be easy not to judge, I know. It will bring us to our limits, I know. But if everyone would start with this single approach we would live more peaceful than we do right now.

Besides, this is one of the fundamental lessons in yoga. We take others as they are. You can and should be a role model but you should not judge others. Everyone walks through life and some see more obstacles along the way than others, that doesn’t make them a good or a bad human being.

Is there an influence?

I wrote “my Yoga thought”, but to understand where I come from you need to know that I’m a project manager in clinical research for a living, so both, Yoga and clinical research, play into my thinking. This is an influence I cannot deny.

And that’s the second important point. Everyone is having influences which play into our thoughts. This non-attachment is almost impossible. In yoga we talk about Aparigraha, the last Yama of Patanjali’s Eight Limbs of Yoga. Yamas are moral guidelines by which we should live with regard to our relationship with ourselves, and with the world around us. Even if I would like to step back and tell myself to think not like a project manager, my subconscious will tell me something else. So before I build my opinion I step back and put light on a thought from different angles, try to see it from the other side, try to understand where others are coming from and why people build the opinions they share.

But what about facts?

What is not deniable are facts, this is what I thought until people came along with a huge portion of mistrust. Fake data, fake news, fake here and fake there. Humans are not perfect and we all make mistakes, which is great as we learn from mistakes. It is not so great if our mistakes and doubts have an affect on others.

I still believe in facts.

Maybe I judge these facts different as someone who had his whole life nothing to do with research, but either way, a fact is a fact until proofed wrong, right?

Why do people doubt and deny facts? I guess this is the point I will never fully figure out but on my search for understanding I learned that it’s often based on their very unique personal experiences. Which is a valid reason but which is also dangerous because trying to convince someone of an opinion which may do harm in the end is simply dangerous.

Fake News

Fake news – I get it, we are small figures when it comes to politics, but where is our own logic? News may not be 100 percent correct and may try to lead us in a direction which is good for the economy, politics, higher management reasons we don’t even know, but how can I deny the pandemic state? These pictures of patients in the ICU, coffins transported away from hospitals, nurses and doctors who explain how their current work day looks like, these are facts.

I would even go ahead and call it disrespectful to deny the fact that people are dying. And there is no matter how old they are, because this is often another “argument”.

They are all old. Really?

That’s not true, and honestly, even if, do we close our eyes because the people dying are old? They could be your grandparents, parents, siblings, relatives. You really don’t care? Then the problem is deeper than you imagine.

Empathy

Non-empathy is classified as a mental disorder on the ICD-10 of mental and behavioural disorders, which means nothing else than these people have a mental illness they should work on. And that’s sad, sad that they experienced something in their life which leads them to this disorder, but it is not an excuse to harm others. We all have an individual responsibility to at least not harm others. Even if you think that you only harm yourself, that is not true. You have people around you who care and if something happens to you they will be harmed as well. We are all not alone in this life. People can argue they have nobody. Who knows if you don’t harm the people who need to look at you when you are gone? Who need to treat you when you are ill and who take stories of their patients home because they have empathy with every human being?

Helping each other, being there when someone needs you, supporting one another, all of this is what we need in a state of a pandemic. Criticism and negativity won’t help anyone.

Kindness

What do you think will succeed in the long run? I’m sure it will be kindness. Something everyone can give, you don’t need a full bank account, a big house or a fast car to be kind.

A random act of kindness lights up the day for everyone and it costs you nothing at all!

There was a really old women in the drugstore, she had problems reading with her mask on – offer help. She was so grateful and I am sure I lighted up her day a bit. Someone in front of you isn’t fast enough packing up the bought items? Be patient, it won’t take more than five minutes. Why should you ruin this persons mood and your own for this? The homeless sitting outside in winter, is there an old coat you don’t need anymore? Instead of keeping it in your wardrobe just simply do something good and give it to those in need.

Patience

Patience is a virtue, but one you can learn. We have to spend more time at home these days, why not spending them with some learning – wasn’t there something you ever wanted to learn, to read or to write? A new language, an instrument, drawing – there are so many possibilities and many of them teach us patience. No book has been written in a day or two, colour needs time to dry, the sound of music is echoing longer than we think. I like to change things always to the positive and indeed, it is not easy, but it works.

Conclusion?

My conclusion is that we all should act with more kindness and patience and I truly believe the world would be in general a better place, not only during a pandemic. Especially now we should all take a step back before we act. Many of us are stressed and if you are stressed it’s harder to reflect. We live now, this now is not easy, that’s a fact. This now is complicated in many areas but isn’t that a chance for all of us to become better persons? This Now is all we have and nobody knows what tomorrow bring, so if we would change to live more in the present moment we would start to understand that we are able to bring lots of joy in our life, even in lockdowns. I hear often that everyone lacks time. Just remember – you had time to go shopping, to meet for lunch, to do sports, to hang out with friends, alone the time you have now because you cannot do it as you are used to. Use it wisely, call friends and ask if they are ok, write letters, start a journal. If you write down your thoughts they are off your mind and give space, that’s a wonderful side effect of writing.

I just would hope that human beings start to live with more empathy and more kindness.

Ram Dass once said:

We are all just walking each other home. – Ram Dass

Let this be our theme for the future.

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Don’t let Doubt be your Friend!

Don’t let Doubt be your Friend!

One of the lessons learned and believe me, this wasn’t an easy one.

It is natural I guess – throughout or life we are doubting… if we are on the right path, doing the right thing, meeting the right people … this is needed as check or ourselves. We build up confidence like that as well.

Doubt becomes a problem when we doubt more than being sure we did something right.

When I write don’t let doubt be your friend I don’t mean it should be your enemy, you will need it, until the end of your life, like a person you meet once in a while but not regularly. Like this person you know your whole life which tells you after a couple of years that you look great, that you changed your style and it suits you, that you were always adored for your skills in whatever, you get what I mean I hope. This person can also tell you that the old car was better than the new you have chosen, but in the end you are driving that car and you need to be feeling good in it.

What are you doing with the car for instance? You may reconsider changing it back because this person had some proper arguments, or you stop thinking about it because it was well thought over in first place?

Doubt is ALWAYS just an adjuster or a confirmer, it is rarely a complete changer but more a lesson learned.

But what if you think you are doing the right thing and all of a sudden Mr. Doubt shows up regularly? He considers himself your new friend and crawls into your life. He is telling you his opinion whenever he can and it’s always the opposite of what you were considering to be right. He starts to drain your energy because it is not easy to be criticized for every step you make. And it’s wrong!

Many may have this colleague who’s acting like that, or even a boss.

Believe me, a good colleague or a well-trained manager would NEVER make you doubt everything. they would make you aware if something isn’t going to the right direction and offer advise, training or help to fix it.

I doubted – too much, so much that I fell exhausted into my bed in the evening because I felt NOT ENOUGH. From the depth of my heart I knew that I did the right thing(s). I even knew it because I got feedback from many others but that one stupid Mr. Doubt was so present and so nagging with his comments that I started to doubt – more and more.

He stepped into my life as if he was an old friend but that’s not true. I knew him and I met him once in a while but I never considered him to be one of my close friends. The opposite, I was always happy when he disappeared and his permanent presence made me feel not good at all, not sufficient and not enough.

I had to learn this and especially I had to learn to tell him STOP!

Stop for the sake of my health – mentally and physically. Once this step was done it felt better because I gained my worth back. My knowledge that has been built up over the years could not be completely wrong as Mr. Doubt tried to make me believe. I was able again to hold my head up high and face him and tell him that he will not succeed in breaking me, because this is what he wanted as my “friend”.

Doubt is like a toxic person

We all know them and we all know that we should keep them very distanced as they otherwise would start to influence our life (and not in a good way).

Almost a year later I am sitting here typing, my stomach still hurts and seems twisted from time to time which is a reminder of what I went through. I’m not complaining because in the end I know who I am and what I am worth! In the end Mr. Doubt and his companions are the poor ones. They will never be happy in their life because as long as you are constantly criticizing others you ignore your own problems which probably are more intense than I can imagine them to be.

We are all human beings, we are all not perfect and that is perfectly fine!

We are supposed to make mistakes to learn and grow. We are exactly where we should be and if someone makes you start to doubt be careful. We can support, we can share experiences, we can give a helping hand, but if we start to put ourselves higher and make others doubting their worth we are the problem, not the other persons!

The struggle to accept and realize that not everyone is my friend even though they pretend to be was long and intense and I don’t want to go through it once again. But truly, I am more mindful and focused than ever before. I’m thankful to know that not I was the problem but others.

If you read my blog before you have an idea of how I think and in this case I could be mad, I could start to hate persons who tried to harm me but that’s not me.

Karma will catch them sooner or later!

I don’t want to poison my thoughts with hatred, I don’t want to invite negativity to my life and I don’t want to hate. To focus on what’s positive in all this is much more rewarding and makes me happier than giving attention to the bad. It doesn’t mean that I ignore, no, I acknowledge, analyse, take my lesson out and then put it aside as it no longer serves me.

I truly hope that whenever you doubt you don’t let these thoughts taking over the reigns – they won’t guide you in a good way. Doubt is not supposed to be permanently present but occasionally only.

Always tell yourself that you are doing the best you can at that time in your life and you are learning along the way. At every second you are where you are supposed to be as the best version of you.

You are worth to kick Mr. Doubt out if he starts to approach you more than you can take. It’s your life!

Stay strong and never doubt the wholeness of your being!

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One month is gone

One month is gone already – it’s February!

We are getting closer to the renewal time of spring. How lovely is alone this thought.

Are you also tired of winter?

In general I like winter, if it would be the winter we all dream of. Snowy landscapes, cosy homes, steaming tea cups, children building a snowman…

The problem is that my winter doesn’t look like that. Whenever we would have time for these real snow days there is no more snow but grey mud or even worse just rain.

The first time my son was on his new slide was the last so far because since then there either was no snow or in the snow regions it was so much that they called out the emergency status. That means we have a new slide, a new snow suit, even wonderful warm boots but no snow.

The same goes for the snowman. As wonderful as a winter could be, this winter wasn’t showing up like we wished (at least not in Munich).

Others may say now that this isn’t entirely true, and they are right. The winter for us wasn’t like we wished for. We work from Monday to Friday and only the weekend is the time where we could fully enjoy the winter-wonderland. If we would have had time throughout the week our feeling towards this winter would be different.

As always in life it’s the personal perception.

I’m not complaining, we are fine, we won’t break into tears because of these missed snowportunities 🙂

The interesting part is indeed how different we all see things.

My husband is Libyan, for him everything under 0°C is too cold to go outside unless you have to. For me, I like the warm days more but it’s OK if it’s cold. I learned there is no wrong weather, there are only wrong clothes, that’s the way to handle the weather in Germany. And our son? With almost three years he is simply exploring the world. If it’s cold or warm, dry or wet, lighted up or dark, he will always find something on every single day that is interesting.

January

We started into this year with a month full of snow, rain, grey days and a bit of winter sun. The first half of January was a re-adjusting at work for me. Even if the break between Christmas and the new year is just a couple of days it seems as everyone is starting new and not too stressed into another year. The second half took the speed up again and currently I ask myself how to survive a full year with this level of stress.

What comes next?

The simple answer would be February.

I know that my work life will change a bit in the next months as projects are closed and new are starting. I hope there will be more time again to focus on my development, professional as well as private.

As days start to be longer again we will wait patiently for the spring to spend more and more time outside. The lack of sunshine is draining the last depots. Even better to have the possibility to plan a short vacation before the long summer vacation this year.

Travelling with a toddler is not pure relaxation but indeed a wonderful experience. We plan another flight with him in March and look already forward to new discoveries.

Apart from that I guess the only plan is to enjoy more and worry less.

People tend to be stressed 24/7

Going back to what really counts in life is one of the keys to happiness. Our jobs are eating lots of time and if we don’t work we worry about work. That’s not how it’s supposed to be. Once you are out of the office you should start to enjoy your private leisure time. Somehow many forgot how it works.

We don’t live to work until we die. The purpose in life should be greater and bigger than heading to work and be a good employee, employer, boss, manager, consultant, sales assistant, truck driver, whatever you work. Where are the happy men and women, mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, wives and husbands, cousins, artists, dancers, hippies, all these who don’t have places in their work?

At work I am a manager but the rest of my life I am a woman, a mom, a wife, a yogi, a painter, a cook, an artist, a writer, a blogger, a psychologist, a healer and so much more. I need this work-free time to be happy in everything else that I’m here for and being stressed because of my job should not have a place there. Not I, neither my husband nor my son deserve to be surrounded by a stressed person.

We need to let go

It’s hard to let go and just be. I know because I’m not good at it but I try. I will never stop trying to let go as it is one important part for my own sanity.

One month is already gone. Eleven more will follow until we reach 2020 and what do we want to remember? The sleepless nights of worry, the break-downs of being over-worked, the mistakes we made?

No, we want to remember the lessons learned, the laughter, the love that surrounded us. We want to remember the good time which was more than the bad time. To reach this we have to let go and that means to shift our focus. At work my focus is on my work but as soon as I shut down my laptop and turn off my phone the focus is on me and my family – that’s where it belongs to.

I wish you all a shift of your own personal focus. Let go of what isn’t needed at all and minimize the stress as best as you can.

Months are passing by so fast – we need to cherish the time we have!

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Why being an egoist isn’t always bad

Nobody will tell you to take care of yourself!
Your life – your responsibility

Why being an egoist isn’t always bad

We are growing up learning to take care of one another and to share, which in general is great, but what nobody is telling us along the way is that we will face times where nobody will take care of you.

We should not act egoistic, being an egoist is bad – we are bad if we are an egoist. While I partly agree, because I’d love to see non-egoists everywhere, I partly disagree quite strong.

To put myself behind is something which is valuable in many ways, if I stand up for elder persons and offer them my seat for instance. I can start and collect many examples why it’s good to think about others. The main problem is that it will not work out 100% because nobody is perfect and social and caring like I would like them to be.

To be a caring person is wonderful as long as it’s not affecting my own sanity and here the egoist has to step in.

Only if I take care about myself, if I give myself enough time to rest, to recover, to grow, to meditate, to move, to think, to whatever makes you feel good – only then I have the strength to be there when others need me. Center yourself exactly where you are!

We are often truly exchangeable – which is not nice but sadly the reality.

If I just think about work-life, be it my own or everyone else’s, every single one of us can be exchanged within the blink of an eye. The world isn’t stopping just because I’m not there anymore. Even if many think that they are very important especially in their professional life, I can assure you, YOU ARE NOT!

A waitress is kicked out and the next is starting right away, of course that can work, you think if you are the vice president of a large traditional family business and nobody can replace you? From whom did you take over? There will always be someone coming after and that’s life, nothing is permanent.

Knowing this and knowing that I can only be the best version of myself if I take care of myself taught me to step back if I need to. I worked through many “just a small” colds instead of going on sick leave and recover properly before being back at work. NOBODY will say thanks for that and that’s good because only then you learn what’s important.

No work is more important than my health. Only if I’m healthy I can work.

So here we are – if I answer the phone with a croaky voice being obviously not healthy not many will ask you to go to the doctor and stay in bed. Many will ask you with the pity in their voices if you don’t feel fine but will switch in the next second to tasks that need to be done.

Be an egoist and RECOVER properly, long-term this is the only possibility to stay healthy and maybe to reach the change you want to see in this society.

What about invisible problems? A croaky voice, ok, but if you have mental illnesses it’s not even visible. You will tell me now that you are happy about that fact but that’s wrong.

I would love to invent something like a face turning pink-striped when having mental health issues not to put the spotlight on that person but to raise awareness of how many people are affected. This taboo needs to be broken and people should be treated properly as if they have a broken leg. It may take longer, yes, but it’s as important as any other illness to be cured!

I seriously don’t want to stamp persons as sick but I am sure that many are not asking for help or are going to get help themselves because this stamp “crazy” is still so active in our society. If you are not visibly ill then what? You have a day where you don’t feel fine, that’s normal. If it’s more than one day, then pull yourself together, it’s easy like that, isn’t it?

No, it isn’t and everyone who thinks it is has luckily never experienced mental health issues!

So please, don’t be shy, don’t be ashamed, don’t feel ‘not normal’ or crazy – there is help out there and please reach for it!

There is slowly a re-thinking on it’s way in our society but it needs people to go out and to show their pink-striped faces, people to say “Yes, I have problems”, people to assure that it is nothing to be afraid of! I promise you, if we really would put stripes in our faces the ones without would even be in the minority.

To reach a change we need to start.

Be the change you want to see…

Be an egoist and take care of yourself!!!

(Because nothing is permanent 🙂 )

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Do Rock Stars Need Social Media Strategies

Do Rock Stars Need Social Media Strategies

Yes, they definitely do!
I’m not a social media expert but I’m a social media user. This is written from my point of view, the user site. I’m not a fan in the meaning of the word fan but I like some singers, songwriters, etc. and I realized that there a big differences for instance in Facebook fan pages.
In times of Facebook and twitter there’s no way to ignore these media. But it’s not done with only sharing a fan page.

Fans want to get updates on what’s going on in their idols life. And most of them do not only want to read news about the development of a new album or getting the next dates for gigs, no, they want to have the feeling of participating a bit. They wanna see pictures from “behind the scenes”, having insight in the ‘private’ part of them.
On the other hand it’s absolutely understandable that the artist him/herself is not keen to share too much private life and to draw a strict line between business and private life.
That’s the reason why strategies are needed. What to share when and what not.

Surely one important thing is how known the artist is. If Justin Bieber is posting the view from his hotel room he may run into problems. Some of his fans will know the city where he is currently staying, some the view itself and the hunt is opened whereas some “unknown” or niche artist can do that without sharing too much information.

To develop a strategy the artist him/herself is needed. It doesn’t make sense if a management is updating and the artist not involved at all.
People realize that. There are some good profiles which proof that it’s working whereas you have also the bad examples in masses out there.
I don’t even believe that the amount of likes or followers is the most important. It has an importance but it’s not the key to success of a page. We all know that the follow or like button is quickly pressed but that doesn’t mean they are all honestly interested.

Connection is another bullet point on the development list.
Spread the message on many social networks instead of focussing on one.
You will always have some who love for instance myspace whereas others just log onto twitter.
Technology nowadays makes it really easy to take one network as a main page but connect it to several others ones so that one post is distributed to all – so all get the same message at the same time.

If you don’t want to loose fans or followers, inform them! There’s nothing bad in posting that you will be on holidays for two weeks and therefore not posting but that there will be news on the date you return. This way they’ll stay curious and wait for the next message.
Also inform them about dates, not only gigs, when are TV shows, press conferences, radio interviews, etc. Here it’s important to let them know in time. Is a date fixed, inform them. You still can send a reminder on the day itself but too short notice will minimize the audience. Not everyone is 24/7 on the web but many will put notes in their calendars if they are aware upfront.

Read comments – you don’t have to read them all as that would in some cases fill a full day, no, sneak in randomly – it’s always good to see what they think or may request. “There was no update on the new album release, when will it be on the shelves?” – this is a good comments to base the next post on.

Interact, not like talk to all of them personally but ask – did you like…, what can I improve…, where do you want to see me…, etc. they will have the feeling as if they are a part.

Give them previews on new things, they follow you because they expect to have a bit more insight than the public mass. “I’m working on a new song called…, stay tuned”.

Add small challenges – to give away an album or autograph doesn’t hurt you but will keep your fans happy.

Mention cities where the audience was awesome, they get the feeling as if they were special.

All in all what I want to emphasize is that this is a wide spread topic and that it’s not enough to just have an account. It needs to be feeded.
Good luck!

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