Don’t let Doubt be your Friend!

Don’t let Doubt be your Friend!

One of the lessons learned and believe me, this wasn’t an easy one.

It is natural I guess – throughout or life we are doubting… if we are on the right path, doing the right thing, meeting the right people … this is needed as check or ourselves. We build up confidence like that as well.

Doubt becomes a problem when we doubt more than being sure we did something right.

When I write don’t let doubt be your friend I don’t mean it should be your enemy, you will need it, until the end of your life, like a person you meet once in a while but not regularly. Like this person you know your whole life which tells you after a couple of years that you look great, that you changed your style and it suits you, that you were always adored for your skills in whatever, you get what I mean I hope. This person can also tell you that the old car was better than the new you have chosen, but in the end you are driving that car and you need to be feeling good in it.

What are you doing with the car for instance? You may reconsider changing it back because this person had some proper arguments, or you stop thinking about it because it was well thought over in first place?

Doubt is ALWAYS just an adjuster or a confirmer, it is rarely a complete changer but more a lesson learned.

But what if you think you are doing the right thing and all of a sudden Mr. Doubt shows up regularly? He considers himself your new friend and crawls into your life. He is telling you his opinion whenever he can and it’s always the opposite of what you were considering to be right. He starts to drain your energy because it is not easy to be criticized for every step you make. And it’s wrong!

Many may have this colleague who’s acting like that, or even a boss.

Believe me, a good colleague or a well-trained manager would NEVER make you doubt everything. they would make you aware if something isn’t going to the right direction and offer advise, training or help to fix it.

I doubted – too much, so much that I fell exhausted into my bed in the evening because I felt NOT ENOUGH. From the depth of my heart I knew that I did the right thing(s). I even knew it because I got feedback from many others but that one stupid Mr. Doubt was so present and so nagging with his comments that I started to doubt – more and more.

He stepped into my life as if he was an old friend but that’s not true. I knew him and I met him once in a while but I never considered him to be one of my close friends. The opposite, I was always happy when he disappeared and his permanent presence made me feel not good at all, not sufficient and not enough.

I had to learn this and especially I had to learn to tell him STOP!

Stop for the sake of my health – mentally and physically. Once this step was done it felt better because I gained my worth back. My knowledge that has been built up over the years could not be completely wrong as Mr. Doubt tried to make me believe. I was able again to hold my head up high and face him and tell him that he will not succeed in breaking me, because this is what he wanted as my “friend”.

Doubt is like a toxic person

We all know them and we all know that we should keep them very distanced as they otherwise would start to influence our life (and not in a good way).

Almost a year later I am sitting here typing, my stomach still hurts and seems twisted from time to time which is a reminder of what I went through. I’m not complaining because in the end I know who I am and what I am worth! In the end Mr. Doubt and his companions are the poor ones. They will never be happy in their life because as long as you are constantly criticizing others you ignore your own problems which probably are more intense than I can imagine them to be.

We are all human beings, we are all not perfect and that is perfectly fine!

We are supposed to make mistakes to learn and grow. We are exactly where we should be and if someone makes you start to doubt be careful. We can support, we can share experiences, we can give a helping hand, but if we start to put ourselves higher and make others doubting their worth we are the problem, not the other persons!

The struggle to accept and realize that not everyone is my friend even though they pretend to be was long and intense and I don’t want to go through it once again. But truly, I am more mindful and focused than ever before. I’m thankful to know that not I was the problem but others.

If you read my blog before you have an idea of how I think and in this case I could be mad, I could start to hate persons who tried to harm me but that’s not me.

Karma will catch them sooner or later!

I don’t want to poison my thoughts with hatred, I don’t want to invite negativity to my life and I don’t want to hate. To focus on what’s positive in all this is much more rewarding and makes me happier than giving attention to the bad. It doesn’t mean that I ignore, no, I acknowledge, analyse, take my lesson out and then put it aside as it no longer serves me.

I truly hope that whenever you doubt you don’t let these thoughts taking over the reigns – they won’t guide you in a good way. Doubt is not supposed to be permanently present but occasionally only.

Always tell yourself that you are doing the best you can at that time in your life and you are learning along the way. At every second you are where you are supposed to be as the best version of you.

You are worth to kick Mr. Doubt out if he starts to approach you more than you can take. It’s your life!

Stay strong and never doubt the wholeness of your being!

Our life search

Our life search

You only know what you are searching for when you loose something…

It can be good and bad, each will leave a trace in your life and suddenly you realize what’s important.
There may be times when you feel lost, when you don’t see reasons for things that happened, but be faithful, these incidents open new doors you weren’t aware of that they exist.
Fairytales are for kids, this is partly true as in each of them you will find hints on what’s important and the knight is mostly appearing when the princess went through her struggles.
I found my “knight” although I don’t say I’m a princess, but there will be a time when you realize what the past was for. I truly believe that this “meant to be” does exist.
Maybe it strengthens you, makes you more mature, gives you happy times and memories.
We are all searching and this search will never stop. If you stop searching you will stop living as we have still so much to discover.
I like to say that I arrived in my life but this is only half true. I did actually feel as if I arrived, but only partly (which is already a great achievement).
There are many other parts left as life is big and full of challenges, wonders and experiences.
Don’t aim for all at once, take steps on your way.
Nobody can stand on the top of a mountain without walking upwards, having rest in between, struggles, is about to give up, feels exhausted or just takes a break to enjoy the moment. We all start on the foot of the mountain called life and I’m not sure who’s the happier person when reaching the top.
Is it the one running upwards, who may miss the silence, the view, the temperature changes and all the things which are present around him?
Or is it the one walking step by step, who knows how the snow smells at a certain height, who see ice crystals on his nose and feels the cold creeping up, who breathes in the cold air while having the view backwards to realize how far he got already?

What do you prefer? Are you the runner or the walker in life?
Happy journey!

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Can you please grow old with grace?

Can you please grow old with grace?

I have the feeling as if the world around me is getting more and more insane.
As soon as I open the web, a magazine, the TV and sometimes even the front door I see false faces.
Who ever made a law that women past 30 aren’t allowed anymore to have small wrinkles around their eyes or normal lips?
What I’m wondering is, do they like what they find each morning in their mirror?
Questions which are answered with “No, I just drink lots of water and eat healthy, there was nothing done to my face, honestly!” – sure, and I’m living on the moon.

I don’t like to drink plain water but therefore lots of different teas and yes, also the scary brownish fluid called coffee, may this be the reason for the wrinkles around my eyes? Definitely no! I live and I love and I laugh!!!
I fortunately get older each year. Oh, and I mean each year, I’m not celebrating my 29th birthday for the sixth time in a row.
Don’t get me wrong, I love to look beautiful and I’m almost addicted when it comes to new creams, oils, etc. (mmhh, I’m lazy with eye cream) but if I see needles or even surgery knifes near to a face I run as fast as I can. I’m a coward, I know. These surgeries for sure don’t hurt. It’s just like buying new shoes, isn’t it?
The cruel part is that you can get the idea of “easy done” when you see all these perfect faces (which in reality remind me of the rocky horror picture show).
Aren’t they scared of mistakes, reactions to narcotics, a loose hand of a surgeon who worked 48 hrs in a row? I would be and in the same way I would be scared of the result.
Will I be able to recognize myself afterwards or do I look like a brand new person?

Thanks, that I don’t have to answer as I won’t do something to my face but I’m sure I would miss the stories it’s telling. My husband has many expressions of my face he loves (tired, laughing loudly, looking scared) and some he dislikes (no, I never look at him in an angry way even if he’s saying so…).
Just imagine what a loss it would be when I turn up with a stiff face – no movement visible.
And lips is also a topic which is scaring me. If the whole face seems to be just lips and more important, their sensitivity. Lips belong to the most sensitive parts of a human and it’s just taken to have one rubber hose above another? Isn’t that insane?
Not to mention want can be done besides the face…sitting has to be hard for some for a couple of weeks when the inlays are new.

Why are woman doing that?!?

There is always a ‘behind the scenes’ and I would say it’s first of all a big lack of self confidence. Whatever this comes from, a deep look into oneself would be better than trying to hide insecurities or scars behind a mask.

Other reasons could be to follow the crowd, like in childhood – eeeeeveryone has this, mummy, I neeeeed that too!!!! I’m happily swimming against the crowd then.

Or to get closer to ideal faces you find in commercials as the for sure NEVER went through photoshop!!! Just check some Facebook profiles from teenager, they already know with Instagram and several other apps how to look as if they just turned twenty five with no spots on their skin and sleek hair. The problem is just that you won’t recognize them in real life.

Could men be a reason? I’m not entirely sure about men – there are men who love these masks but hopefully the majority still loves real beauty.

But the main point is, for whom am I doing something and for me it’s in first place myself. Sure I like to be pretty for my husband but if I ask him he states, I love you how you are, if you just stood up in the morning or put make up for whatever, it’s you.
That’s one of the most important points.
You can do as much as you want but beauty means more than the face, it means attitude, authenticity, charisma, radiation, aura, inner feelings and so on – all these will shop up on your face and in your eyes.
The majority of these lifted, unreal, I-want-to-be-perfect women have one thing in common – dead eyes. What I mean is their eyes are blank, emotionless, the sparkle is missing and they do not glow.

For sure these are all extremes and to be natural, authentic and real doesn’t mean that we can’t use a bit of make up, of course we can, we are women. I like that as well to underline, but what we should not to is trying to paint something new onto something old or vice versa. It will never work.
Do they think about the coming years? How will it look like in ten years, will they look like a hobbit with hanging ears? Or will they have monthly appointments to stretch the skin again a bit more and fix it behind their hanging ears?
I cannot imagine that we won’t have cute grand moms anymore in a couple of years, that’s a big loss!
The perfect women society – teenager look as if they are twenty nine as well as their moms and grand moms?
I don’t want to join this society!

I was thinking about before/after pictures but I decided against as I’m sure everyone knows instantly what I mean (if not, then this post may not be for you ;-))
Instead of horror pictures I reveal my first wrinkles (please ignore the mascara spread below but fortunately I’m not the photoshop master).
It may be a horror picture for the addicted ones, for me it’s my life and it looks as if I had good laughs and I plan to have them in the future as well!

Stay real!!!

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