A whole new year…

A whole new year lays ahead of us and I’m excited.

Excited and positive, anxious and scared.

Life is unpredictable which makes it interesting but scary at the same.

As a perfectionist you are going to hate it not to know what comes next but the truth is, we will never know what comes next. Neither planning nor wishing will bring us to the point that a life is going as smoothly as we would like.

I just need to look around our home and since we have a child it looks sometimes as if a bomb of Lego and toy animals exploded.

The wonderful part of these “explosions” is that there is life! I admit that I would sometimes which for this old home where you don’t have to clean 24/7 without an end in sight, the times where I just sat down on the couch with a book because nothing else needed to be done. Nowadays there is no “nothing else needs to be done”. This wishing back the old days are only short moments because reality quickly sets in and I’m so grateful for this reality.

Life is far far far away from perfect and this imperfection is so lovely. We are the happiest when we three are together (my son, my husband and I) because indeed, that’s life, that’s reality, that’s all to wish for.

The perfectionist in me is almost crying because I have no idea how this year will go along but what I know is that we can manage all as long as we are a family and love each other like we do.

Is it wisdom that comes with age? I don’t know. Is it what you learn through motherhood? Maybe.

I cannot tell you when exactly this thinking was setting in for me-The more I think about life and what matters most the more I realize that there are profound things like love, trust, emotions, feeling grounded, mindfulness, thankfulness for what is, appreciation of what we have. These are what matters most.

The NOW of our life.

Tomorrow can be anything but if we manage to be happy now we reached a lot!

I’m not a spiritual teacher nor a motivation guide but the more I read and the more I do some research the more I see that many seem to seek happiness and fulfillment.

Our life has far too many choices to reach this stage and we get lost. We lose focus due to the amount of possibilities we have.

Nobody can have it all! I think this is the first and most important step towards an inner satisfaction of what is.

We need to stop ourselves along the way, take a step back, and start to sort. What are our personal priorities, what makes us really happy.

Social media are great, if used properly, and at the same time our personal nightmare, if used as a comparator (in both directions).

As long as we are realistic enough to know that we never ever see the whole picture on social media the usage may be utterly inspiring, we can learn lots and get input. There are some influencers out there who are really showing lots, their raw authentic self, but careful, for the majority we will never grasp the full picture and this is completely OK. We ourselves would also not expose our most vulnerable moments or dark sides to strangers. Just be sure that everyone has these sides (just not visible). The trick is to get inspired by the exposed good stories but don’t feel less worth because of our own failures.

The same goes for news – I barely read them nowadays because I feel more and more depressed, it seems as if there is no peace on earth at all but that’s wrong. Nobody will write a headline about a country at peace. We are responsible to filter all of this for ourselves because no news agency and no influencer and no person besides you is able to see what you need or what you can take at this moment.

You are the first responsibility for yourself and afterwards you decide what you watch, listen to, hear, read, where you step in, help, work, etc. This sounds selfish but it isn’t. Only if you feel at ease with yourself you will be capable of taking the rest.

My husband’s country is in a war state since we met. It won’t help if we start to site here each day and cry and complain and talk about how blessed we are to live here and what an injustice it is that his family is there and and and – it simply won’t help! We need to make sure that we are fine, we are parents, we have a responsibility. And when we are fine we can work, we can try to support, we can be the realistic part on the outside as we are not within, we can be the uplifting part when things go wrong again and try to soothe, we can only give our best in these moments. It is hard but that’s life – unfortunately – we cannot change the world but we can change our approach to our “small” circle in this world and try to be good examples. If everyone would be the best version of him or herself we would make a step in the right direction.

And at teh end of the day my biggest mantra for this year will be nobody is perfect and new ways are always possible – these sentences from a perfectionist are a big step.

My lessons learned from the past years. They may be an inspiration or just a small hint in which direction to think.

Being grateful for what we have and never taking anything for granted is one of the biggest epiphanies ever.

Living in a country without knowing war is not my achievement, it was simply luck of being born here at that time. Thanks!

Having met my husband was such a coincidence, this could never have been planned. Thanks!

Having a really full fridge is a blessing. Thanks!

You could go on like this but you know what, waking up each morning, feeling my heart beating should be reasonenough to be grateful for this life.

A whole new year…lays in front of us.

Let’s focus on the good.

Let’s try to ease the pain.

Let’s help where we can.

Let’s do what we can to make this a better place for all of us.

This year, next year and as long as we are here.

When days go by so fast…

When days go by so fast…

Here we go again, the time of being apart has started and we have to jump back into our second routine.
It’s quite interesting to discover that we are leading kind of two lifes.
Whenever we are together we have our routine, the time which belongs to us although we have several things to do throughout our days. Whatever we do, we think about what’s best for both of us.
And then the time follows when we are apart and lead different life’s, I stay and my husband goes back into another country, onto another continent which is so far away from what I know.
I grew up safely in Europe and sometimes start to wonder how he can stand it all.
It’s always good to hear that he arrived safe but there are also always incidents which are beyond my imagination. Roads blocked completely by rebels or people who fight for 1000 of different reasons. I have the feeling as if he is only safe in his house and even this thought is quite childish. I close my eyes and am invisible? Surely not.
I try to live my normal routine and hate it more and more as I love the together time so much. I’m not made for being alone, I found my other half and we should be together. We both know that we are lucky as we found each other.
It’s ridiculous but I’m not doing many things I usually love to do when we are together like for instance writing on this blog, I hardly find the time to just sit down and read a magazine or watch stupid things on TV but do I want him to leave just to have time for it? Not at all – I could say easily I put all these things back as long as I have my husband around – he’s the most precious to spend my time with!
On the other hand we both know that our routine would change if we knew that we are permanently together, there will be another routine one day inshallah. For the time being we just try to soak in every second.
It’s been five weeks and now we are back alone – these weeks were wonderful but flew by like a lear jet – now it will be weeks of waiting which will crawl by like a snail.
Weeks with lots of what’s app and Skype, weeks where we are exhausted by these stupid web connections, weeks where we miss the touch of one another so much, weeks where we have to sleep in beds with an empty half but also weeks where we still know that our love is greater than the distance and which let us look forward to the day we drive back to the airports and close our arms tight around our second half.
Nobody said it will be easy but we are confident that it is exactly the right thing we are doing – love leads the way and opens new facets of life where we weren’t even aware of their existence.

Hey, and being back blogging feels good as well 🙂
Take Care!

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A happy new year 2014…

A happy new year 2014…

…to all of you out there!!!!

I’m partly back, but as my husband is still with me I will not post too regular during the next two or three weeks.
Whenever we are together the time we have is precious as we know the next weeks of being apart are just around the corner.
The weeks when I’m alone I love to focus on writing as my evenings or weekends give me the time to do so.

But a small update here – we spent a wonderful Xmas time at my parents with lots of food and fun and joy. After Xmas we went to Belgium for two days where we visited a part of my husbands family and welcomed the newest family member who’s just three months old.
We spent nice hours there again with food, fun and joy.
I love how welcome we both feel in the other’s families.

After our return to Munich we prepared our first New Year’s Eve together and enjoyed the fireworks in the middle of Munich – my crazy (mahjnoon) husband dragged me to the Marienplatz and everyone who knows Munich can imagine that it’s not too much fun to stand in the middle of a crowd. It was hard to stand straight with so many people pushing and trying to get closer that I was happy when we left. We walked through the cold night for almost two hours and knew that we have a warm place waiting for us with cake and candles to enjoy this first night/morning of the new year. A perfect start!

Today I started to work again so the normal day to day routine is just a few days away but before that we will spent the weekend in Salzburg and enjoy a bit of wellness, spa and sightseeing.

Hope you all had a wonderful time as well as a good and healthy start in 2014!

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Finally the waiting has an end…

Finally the waiting has an end…

These hands will be back together tonight, holding each other so tight.
I can’t wait for the energy flooding through me as soon as I can touch my husband again.
It was a long time apart that finally comes to an end. He boarded his first of two flights already and inshallah will arrive this evening.
Weird to be actually married since two and a half months but physically together we were just one month.
You should see what I did last night, like a head over heels super wife I prepared everything for him coming home. The flat looks like new and dinner is almost ready as well as “welcome home” cake and all his favorite fruits and nuts and everything.
I know that this all are just things which are nice to have as the most important part is to hold each other tight after these weeks of missing.
How blessed we are to spend this year the whole Xmas and New Year’s Eve season together!

Written by a totally excited Miss (Mrs) Faith

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Are you jealous?!?

Are you jealous?!?

Are you jealous_!_

Do you know the feeling of being jealous?
I do not mean being jealous because there is someone near to your loved one.
No, what I mean is being jealous about what others have.
Are you sometimes envious when you see that others have something you may have not?
I’m not a jealous person in general and in most cases I’m just happy for the others when they have something I don’t have.
Sometimes because I don’t want to have it, sometimes because I already have it or sometimes because I’m not interested in it at all.

But there are these days…
These evil days when I see for instance a couple walking hand in hand on a nice autumn day, their feet kicking leaves and both are laughing and seem to be totally happy.
These are the days when I start to be jealous as I don’t have it right now.
Take for instance supermarkets on Saturdays.
I truly hate to go there on a Saturday afternoon! I’m surrounded by couples and for sure I don’t know their story or something about them, I’m not interested in details as well, but I imagine how it would be when my husband would be there.
All of them may do the grocery shopping for their weekend, cook together in the evening, snuggle up on the couch for a cosy and romantic evening, starting the Sunday with a breakfast in bed but I can’t do all this (and I hate breakfast in bed unless it’s a hotel and I don’t have to care about changing the bed sheets, but if I see them I even want that).
All these stories are just in my mind because I start to hate to be alone.
I’m actually not alone, I have a loving husband and family and and and
BUT I am alone when witnessing these strange mind invented couple stories while just looking at a normal couple and they may even be just best friends, nevertheless they trigger the feeling of lacking something in my life.
Isn’t there a way to schedule opening hours for singles in supermarkets?
And can we adjust these hours during the times when my husband is with me?
Another question would be since when it is allowed to kiss in public?!?
They don’t know what they do to single human beings when celebrating their love in public.
I try hard to ignore it as best as I can and forget for sure completely that I was ever thinking about it as soon as my husband is back in town…
Talking and laughing happily with your spouse while others sit next to you or walk by – be careful, it’s a risk for all, who are alone, to become slightly depressive.

Wouldn’t it be an idea to invent couple restaurants and single restaurants, couple supermarkets and single supermarkets (in this case really worth a second thought as I don’t need family packs just for myself), couple parks and single parks, I would have many ideas to be honest.
What to do when I need to stop at a traffic light just after my husband went back to work and the car beside me inherits a couple – separate driveways or dark windows for couple cars may be a solution.

I think I’m desperate to be complete again and can’t wait for my second half to arrive.
Nobody told us that long distance relationships and in our case now a long distance marriage aren’t always easy to handle (indeed it were lots who told us, but we make our own experience!). We are now married for three and a half month and were physically together one month. That could be the explanation for my developed strange thinking, couldn’t it?

Fortunately the countdown started and I promise that I will do all the things which are “annoying” me now throughout his whole stay!!!

Are you jealous?

 

My husband & my best friend

My husband & my best friend

My husband & my best friend (1)

My husband and my best friend are one and only person.

I truly believe that this is the key for a good relationship.
We are not only husband and wife, we are also best friends.

There’s nothing I’m afraid of telling him. In good times and in bad times, I think that’s the most important part of it. Whenever there is something happening to him or to me we are calling each other and telling each other the news.

I want him to be the first person to know whatever is going on in my life, and fortunately he’s thinking the same way.

I not only love him, no, I trust him, I rely on him, I adore him, I laugh with him, I cry with him, I just want him to be around and to be the most important part of my life.
There are for sure many couple things we are doing together, grocery shopping, candlelight dinners in the evening, serious couple talking or future planning, building up our home, holding hands while strolling through the park, visiting the family and helping each other through tough times.

But there are on the other side also many friend things we are doing together, like sitting in a coffee gossiping about people walking by, chatting about nonsense the whole evening long, watching movie after movie and eating unhealthy things, clothes shopping (even shoe shopping although he is a man) or just sitting on the couch and talking for hours.

The time I spend with him is the most precious time in my life, even if we are fighting from time to time about stupid things, every second belongs to us and this is what I love most.

Whoever said that relationships have to be totally serious is wrong. Most important from my point of view is that you have to find the balance, the balance between being serious as a couple but also having lots of fun.

For sure if you’re tying the knot this is serious, but just because we are now husband and wife doesn’t mean that our personalities changed completely, we are still allowed to laugh out loud when we want to and to take life just as it is.
All facets of life should be displayed in a married life as well. We go through fun times and through sad times, we act serious and not serious, we behave like adults and we behave like children, and if you found the person where you can be all at once without getting a serious or a strange look, then you can be sure that you found it, the love you were looking for.

Keep it safe, hold onto it even if times are hard, it is a gift and it is so unique.
Many out there trying to search for it, they sometimes lose sight of the importance and search for something perfect and get frustrated because they’re not able to find it.
It will find you!

But it will only find you when you stop searching and if you get a way of wanting something perfect, it will never be perfect. It just can’t be perfect because we are humans. I’m truly convinced that these relationships happen by accident, accident in the best sense of the word accident. They hit you when you’re not expecting it. That’s the surprise of the meant to be.

Nobody ever told me that I have to go through so many struggles before this happens, but in the end I can say all these struggles were worth it. We found each other without searching and that was the best thing that happened to us. Now it’s our task to keep it going and we will give the best in us for the future.
Stay faithfully and never stop hoping!

 

My window into a new life

My window into a new life

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You see the window on this picture, that’s “my” window, it was taken while we were on our first holidays on Cyprus.
My husband gave me the sight back – I was blind, blind in regards to life.
Too many struggles, never ending thoughts, resignation, running in circles, I simply lost the view towards my own future. Life was mainly dark and silent and then he stepped all of a sudden into my life and was so optimistic.
Life is not easy but we should live it as whatever is meant to happen will happen – his faith. We are both faithful persons but in complete different meanings.
What counts is the outcome – being able to love yourself, listen to your heart, trust others, look forward instead of living in the past.

The past is not our life anymore so we need to let it go.

This window is special as it was in an old castle and the way up scared me, always the abyss in sight and for me far too close to the car.
He reassured me, nothing will happen.
He was wrong – something happened – within me!

I trusted because he was confident to take us up there safe.
I looked forward to discover the ruins.
I enjoyed this amazing view with his arms around me, safe and sheltered.
And most important – I was absolutely sure that this view will change my life, this view we enjoyed together, the old ruins we discovered but then left behind like our past.

Sometimes you need to fall, but there will always be one person helping you getting back on track if you struggle and are scared of making it on your own.
I was on the edge of my own darkness, I crawled up slowly throughout the year before these holidays and I have to thank him for dragging me out there before I may fall in again.
This last piece of the way was what stopped me. Maybe because I had no aim to walk towards to.
Love is a great power in both ways, the good and the bad.
Today I can say I found the good, the one that is real and the one where you are loved just the way you are.

 

I wonder why . . .

I wonder why . . .

…every single piece you need for a wedding is three times more expensive than usual.
Have you ever heard of wedding bubbles? These bubbles are normal bubbles, the difference is that they come in form of a wedding cake for example AND three times smaller than the normal ones but cost the triple. Are people honestly that stupid to buy them? Otherwise I have no explanation why they still exist. The same for a cake. As soon as you mention the word wedding prices going upwards – but isn’t the cake made of the same ingredients as any other cake on this earth?
A really nice tailored and exclusive evening or even ball gown is less than the half of a wedding dress. Where’s the big difference? Apart from the color the work should be the same, shouldn’t it?
To save at least quite a bit of money we decided to do a bit of ‘DIY’ work ourselves.
We did for instance the invites. It took me ages and fingers full of glue but in the end it was something completely unique.
Also the placeholders\seatcards – I didn’t like the idea of buying general ones and just put the names on it. As the wedding took place in my parents’ garden and it’s all a bit vintage I bought small black plates like little chalkboards and wrote the guest names in silver on them.
Don’t hesitate to do things yourself as it seems more complicated as it will be and you give your wedding your stamp.

Faithfully,
Miss Faith

Attached a few pictures of DIY things from our wedding.

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How to be a good couple?

How to be a good couple?

A good partner doesn’t make a good couple.
Two persons are able to become one but it’s work!
What I realize every now and then is that we both need to look in the same direction, at least for the main parts of our life together.
Sure we will always be two unique persons and we don’t need to have the same hobbies but we should have to have the same goal – growing old and wrinkle together.
You don’t see too many good couples although they surely exist and the main reason is that they act normal. They don’t talk about it in either way, good or bad, they do live.
Comparing yourself with other couples is the start to ruin your relationship as we are talking about humans, what’s right for someone hasn’t be the right choice or way of life for someone else.
The most important as a couple is to be happy with one another, not with people outside, not with family members or with whoever wants to step in.
A relationship is a couple thing, it hasn’t to be a public topic on how it should be.
I even think that it would be boring for people outside to listen to couple stories, discussion, or fights about their relationship as these moments are intimate, unique and they only belong to these two persons.
If you two go along like you want a relationship to be then it’s perfect!
Stay loving your life,
Miss Faith

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Stay with me…always!

Stay with me…always!Another stay…has come to an end…
For almost the whole last month we had time together, my husband was back home here with me and we had lots of things to plan. The wedding should take place in August and we will not be able to have an actual date until all our documents are submitted in May and reviewed by the German registry office.
Nevertheless we should have a plan in place by then on how to organize things quickly as we cannot move the wedding to a later date – all docs have to be ‘not older than six months’.
Besides I was working full time this time and had no holidays in between as these vacation days are also needed in August and September. A tough time where we had small fights due to me being stressed and nervous from work but even more lovely moments until deep in the nights.
You want to spend as much time as possible together and therefore the evenings were extended up to two or sometimes even later in the night. Snuggling up in front of a movie, talking, eating, just time for us. The result is a major lack of sleep and the knowing that it won’t be easier with every goodbye. No, it’s getting worse. I thought we will get used to it to be apart and then back together but the truth is that I can’t wait for the day when we have one home where we both belong to without saying goodbye for two months.
This evening is kind of strange as I’m back to the being alone status and I don’t like it.
Skype will be started later on and no more real hugs and kisses.
I will start to write more again during the next weeks now, at least this is time filled with sense and I know my love will read it over there.

Stay faithful!

My first try to write a poem…

…perhaps that’s why it’s called poeTRY…Would love to hear if you like it!

Our love

I remember the last time
You were holding my hand.
I remember the last time
We had our feet in the sand.

Time is passing so fast
But remembrance will last.

Do you remember the time
When I kissed you goodnight.
Do you remember the time
When hearts felt so light.

Time is getting me through
All those days without you.

Faith is keeping us moving fast
As we know our love will last.

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Love knows no distance

Love knows no distanceBelieve me, I know what I’m talking about! I never expected me to be in a situation like this, my love thousands of miles away from me, but it works.
Sure it’s not the best option but to be honest, it’s not that complicated. I wasn’t sure if it will work out when I was thinking about long distance relationships in the past. The present shows me that it does. But why is it working? Because of the persons themselves. If you are jealous beyond words you will have a big problem as well as when you have difficulties with trust. If you are loving and trusting from the bottom of your heart and if you are truthful and faithful, maybe even trusting that it was meant to be this way, then the love is growing more than in a day to day relationship, at least from my point of view.
Within a shorter timeframe you are knowing the other person just because you talk. Talking is essential for relationships and while being apart, what else could you do than talk? No one wants to stay quiet on the phone, on chats or on Skype, if that would be the case it cannot work. We miss each other each day and would be happy to stay together but as long as this is not possible we have to make the best out of it.
Another good thing about missing someone is that you will be even more happy when you finally are back together. Like falling in love over and over again whenever you have the chance to be together.
I’m sure that the time is limited as when it comes to planning a life together, a family and a future there must be a place called home. But until then we keep our spirits high, make the best out of each situation we have to faith and trust that there is a way for us together in the same place one day.
Life has no rules – we have to face everything as a challenge and believe that it will work.
Stay faithfully!

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Lonely in my flat

Lonely in my flatAfter my fiancé returned to Libya it was really strange. We were often outside for the already written about family visits and stuff like that but what we did is, that we did everything together!
The last weeks together in Munich we were painting my living room and made it more cosy for the two of us to enjoy every minute. My flat is now our flat, I emptied one wardrobe for his clothes and his shoes have a place next to mine at the front door. The couch area has lots of pillows on the floor which we bought together as well as two small tables where we sat on the floor to watch movies, listening to music and having tea or coffee. A bit of an Arabic style which I love so much.
When I returned from the airport it was a bit mean as there are so many memories in the flat. Not mean in a negative way because I love to have him around even if he is not here physically but mean when it comes to things like stepping inside and looking at his shoes. It gives the feeling of he is still around but he is not sitting in the living room.
Strange for me as I was so used to live alone after so many years and now it feels so wrong. From time to time I’m opening his wardrobe to smell him and after a few days I put his bathroom stuff out of the closet and put it next to mine in front of the mirror. I want to have him around me whatever I’m doing. Maybe that’s childish behavior but who’s making the rules? I feel better and so it is right for me.
In the end it’s just a matter of time until we are together again enjoying all this. He flew back beginning of December and probably will be back from work and back in Germany beginning/mid of February. I just have to go past the Xmas period and as I will spent this time with my family time will run, what’s left then is the nice month of cold, grey January and we are back together. Until then we bother Skype daily if possible and raise the missing. And to be honest, missing is something which is keeping a relationship more than alive. I don’t say that I want it for the rest of my life but for the time being we have no other choice and are making the best of it.
What is more romantic than waiting at the airport looking at each person coming out at the arrival gate until a bright smile covers your face when you finally see the one you were looking for. This is a scene replayed in so many movies – we are living our own movie.
Faith is keeping us moving on!

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