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Writing – passion or possession?

Writing – passion or possession?

And what about my day job…

Since I joined wordpress and imported everything I wrote before, this page is getting me back to what I thought blogging is in first place.
Even more to be honest, it’s really the best platform for me to do what I want to do around my blog.
And here it starts, now that I get more and more into it I want to spend more time with my writing passion – the problem is that I have a day job which consumes lots of my time and sometimes doesn’t leave much for enjoying my writing.
What’s dragging me to the blog – several reasons if I listen carefully to my heart.
It’s not only that I love to write and to pin all ideas down, it’s also kind of thrilling when I see likes coming in or persons start to follow.
Follow me!
Who am I that persons click the follow button?
Is it really interesting what I do on this blog or is it just me, thinking that I may improve now in writing?
Are they following because it’s a bad example on “how not to start a blog” or do they understand what I mean?
If I would write now that it is for sure that I am good and that’s the reason for people following me, the great thinker and writer, it would be insane.
I really think sometimes I’m getting insane, but vice versa.
From the bottom of my heart I believe that I’m not the dumbest person alive, I was always interested in many things with a certain kind of intelligence to understand them properly. Literature is accompanying me since I read the first word. A life without books is impossible for me, it’s like the air we need to breathe.
But there are times when I start feeling insecure. Am I really good enough? There are so many blogs, why should mine be the one dragging people to it?
Isn’t my layout too easy, shouldn’t there be more features included, but in the end I find back to myself and back to the reason why I have started.
I want to write, purely and simply write. So why to have the most stylish layout if the main focus should lay on what I write?
To be honest, I don’t want to spend hours on trying a light green background with purple dots or a sidebar with pop ups and polls as I see more purpose in using the time to write new posts.
Yet it is another kind of life story what I’m doing here. My life story, sometimes mixed with fiction, sometimes pure reality, and sometimes just things I love and adore.
But if I see how I am, then it’s not yet another life story as I’m the kind of person who loves to listen or read from someone else’s life. Not because I’m a stalker or jealous on how others go along, no, just because I think that each life is unique and each story can fulfill needs.
What needs?
There are the ones, which can amuse us, or make us cry, the ones that raise awareness and let us realize that we should be thankful for what we have, the ones which are similar to ours and which may show us another way when we feel to be on the one way road. And still there are so many stories out there which should be written but can’t as not everyone is in the wonderful position of being able to write, read or having a computer and electricity.
I hope you see the point, this is why I am writing.
I wouldn’t call it a possession although I realize since I’m here that life is so much more than working – where is my way, is it really to work through the day and write through the night?
Is my passion to have a lack of sleep because I need both?
I think I’m on my way and this is indeed something good already. I’m curious to see where this way will lead to but it would be far too early to know now. Another story which still needs to be written, one day, when I may found out the purpose of this passion possession.
What was your first intention when you started to blog?

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Changing my Job?

Changing my Job?Do you know the feeling of being fed up after working more than ten years in the same area? I have it and I’m more and more thinking what I may do for a living with having the enthusiasm I had when I started my current job.
The problem is that I’m stucked in my area when it comes to experience and almost all employers ask for experienced staff and are not hiring newbies.
But am I really stucked or is it only my mind?
I spent the last couples of weeks more and more with thinking about what to do instead of my current job. And what I realized is that there is always another possibility.
Our experience is never only job based, it’s cumulative experience of what you did at work, how you grew as human, what you experienced in life and how you are going on with others.
The school of life is a never ending one and we went through class after class, some realize it and think about it, others just take it as it is.
What am I currently?
I’m a project manager in the clinical research area, I’m a thirty five year old woman who is finally planning a life together with my love like a grown up, I’m interested in several topics like music, art, writing, personality, traveling, psychology, and so on.
A previous blog post which I wrote myself just brought me on the next idea. If I wouldn’t see a reason in writing posts up to now, that is the moment where I appreciate at least for myself. I’m sure if I would never have pinned it down somewhere I wouldn’t had realized.
It was about the training I attended in Madrid and just opened my eyes once again.
If I am a project manager, what does it mean? It means I’m able to handle project and in the best case bring them to a successful end.
So why am I stucked in the research area? I’m not, I just have to find out thoroughly what area could be handled by me.
My goal is to change in near future into the travel planning area. But not the planning for typical tourists who go into an agency and book the two week all-inclusive holidays once per year. that would be boring, at least for me.
I want challenges and contact and real planning instead of typing dates into a system which delivers me a certain choice of offers to book.
When I travelled with my best friend to the Caribbean a luxury travel agency was handling everything for us. These agencies are consulted by people with enough money to spend. Persons who don’t care if the costs are more than expected when the result is fulfilling their expectations.
Why do I think that I’m able to do it?
One of my strengths is communication, if I communicate with clients, doctors or heads of hospitals or if I communicate with airlines, hotels, guides or restaurant, there is not a big difference, in the end the result has to be fine.
If I go through my strengths I can see the parallels, I just have to switch them to another area.
Scheduling appointments with different persons in my current job or scheduling when which of my clients in traveling would like his breakfast, lunch or dinner is nearly the same.
Planning and organizing is my day to day work since more than ten years, instead of planning my business trip I am sure to be able to plan leisure trips for others. I’ve been in many different hotels in my life so far and checking somebody into a three star hotel instead of the five star he wants is something which wouldn’t happen as I know the differences in standard. But I also know that five stars aren’t the same all over the world.
What else? English fluently and in writing as well as handling different computer systems is not a real challenge.
So what am I waiting for? Honestly, my fixed salary at the moment as I know we need it to plan the next two years. But this means also that I have the next two years time for research in traveling. Where are the agencies I would love to work for, how is the range of salaries for people stepping in from the side without the typical education, what do I need to have on my CV before applying and many more.
Anyone who has experience is very welcome to comment and send me some tips or website links, I would love to learn as much as I can upfront!
Thanks and never lose the faith, we are more than we think and not limited just because we chose something years ago.
Miss Faith

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Busy?!?

Busy?!?

How busy can a person be – not being able to write although writing is one of my favorites during leisure time.
I have to educate myself once again. Being busy is something we often pretend to be although in most cases it is kind of not structuring our life and not taking enough time for the things we love.
It’s almost 2013 and I normally should have had enough time during the last days to just sit down and do things I want to do. Instead of doing it I snuggled up in front of the TV and watched all the Christmas fairy tales – maybe that was what I needed but my book was almost looking at me annoyed and my mind told me that it’s wasted time as I didn’t do anything creative or productive.
TV is really something which is bringing me away from stuff I could do better during that time. Nevertheless – I found the way back to write at least today. This is what I mean with educating myself, I should make a habit like taking one hour per day I concentrate on books and writing, as it should become daily routine after a while if I stick to it. On the other hand there’s a small problem, do I really want it to be routine? No, and I say no because for me routine and creativity or relaxing time has nothing in common. Maybe it’s just my impression but if I hear the word routine I’m thinking about things we have to do, things I do without thinking too much, cleaning is routine, washing is or asking the trash out, but nothing like writing thoughts down. My thoughts change as does my enthusiasm to write about something. There are times when I love todo it but there are also times when I cannot calm down as I know that some things need to be finalized before I have the quiet surrounding to let my thought flow.
Bottom line – I was too busy.
Shortly after my fiancé left Germany for work I was buried with work to finish before driving to my parents for the Christmas celebrations.
Here I am now, sitting in my old children’s room, and finally writing again.
There happened so much during the past months that I started several posts already but it’s too confusing to bring one to an end right now. I can’t wait to get them finalized and posted and this is another point. Am I busy now with writing although I have no idea if people like what I’m writing or not – I will not start to stress myself more than needed. In the end I’m believing that everyone who’s thinking a bit in the same way I do understands how it is and also understands that my blog is a real life persons blog. Life never goes as you plan it and it is ok – otherwise it would be boring, wouldn’t it?
Some drafts are already written and I hope to find the right time and place during the next days and weeks to tell my story, to write about how it is now, being engaged although miles apart, being entirely happy although missing is hard, all the stories I want to write and give them a second thought, remember these times as they were so precious and moving forward into an exciting future.
You see, I need to sort my thought because otherwise no one would understand what I’m writing about, my mind is full of so many impressions.

Keep the faith and already a happy 2013!