Hello Lockdown 2.0

Hello Lockdown 2.0

Here we go, in the beginning / middle of the second wave we start lockdown 2.0 in Germany.

We went through the first lockdown in March/April and it feels somehow like an old companion and somehow weird and new.

Our life has changed profoundly in 2020 and still we remain somehow the same.

If someone would have told me what comes next, would I have changed something? 

No.

How?

What could I have changed?

Life is what happens to us when we are making plans, right?

What we can do is the following:

Stay positive 

Positive thoughts are so important in our life. The more we think in a positive way, the happier we are.

Stop complaining 

I know it is hard and I know that this wasn’t the plan for all of us this year, but we are alive, we have access to many things others could wish for.

Adhere to a new normal, at least for a while 

These rules are not that complicated, if we can get a virus under control with distance, masks and hygiene this is something great. Nothing in life is permanent so this will pass too.

Learn 

Everything that happens is teaching us lessons in life, right? What did you learn so far from this pandemic state?

Grow 

Did you surprise yourself? I think many of us grew already because we realised how flexible we are.

Use modern technology 

Instead of the coffee in the city schedule coffee dates via FaceTime, Skype, Zoom, whatever you like. We are honestly rich to have these possibilities, staying safe at home and not losing contact and eye sight with the people we love.

Immerse into nature 

For many this has been a long forgotten treasure and just now they re-discover the beauty around us. Walking from one shop to the next with a coffee in between versus walking through the fields and forests, having a steaming coffee out of a thermo cup. What is nourishing your soul more?

Get a hobby 

Now is the time to think about what you love to do. There are many activities you can do in the safe space of your own home. Reading all the books you ever wanted to read, start writing yourself, put an empty canvas in front of you and create something new, yoga (perfect for a mindful home workout), learn to meditate, cook all the recipes from your cooking books, I’m sure you will find something that suits you.

Let go of what’s no longer needed, free your stuff. 

During this time many homeless will be thankful to receive a warm coat, boots or a blanket.

The stricter we are now the easier it becomes in future. What I think is indeed astonishing is that many asian countries have close to zero new cases. They wore masks even before Covid19 was appearing, they keep distance in general (which isn’t a bad thing at all when it comes to strangers) and they complain less.

Germany (and this is where I am and where I grew up) is a nation of complainers – I always said they complain on a very high level and indeed this is what they do now as well. Instead of being thankful that we haven’t had many deaths up to now it is turned into “the virus isn’t dangerous, otherwise more would have died”. 

This kind of thinking is what I believe is dangerous. 

Reflect and trust and believe that scientist are trying to find the best way for all of us seems to be impossible for many. I don’t know where this mistrust is originating in because I cannot understand it at all. 

Of course you don’t take everything in and of course you don’t like every step a government is doing but in general our life in Germany is very good. 

We have the freedom of speech which many would love to have, we can walk around outside without being scared that military or who ever is controlling, we get news all over the world unfiltered if we want to, there are no restrictions of the internet, we have a legal system others would wish for. 

And of course nothing is perfect but I don’t expect everything to be perfect. All in life is flowing and changing and once you realise this life is much easier to handle.

Perfection is unreachable and also not needed, all the cracks and set backs and mistakes make our life so colourful and interesting. 

All agree with me if I say that nobody needed this virus, I guess, but that’s nothing we can change right now. 

So please, let’s focus on what good it brought us and what we can learn from this time which will one day be part of history books? 

I’d rather have my grand-grand-children reading how wonderful we all made it, how helpful we were, how kindness took over instead of that tis was the start of a war because of selfishness and mistrust.

What do you want them to read?

Renting until you are broken – the new city life?

Renting until you are broken – the new city life?

Can someone explain to me why rents are increasing as if there’s no tomorrow?

I mean, honestly, I understand fully that a landlord is not giving away his house/ flat for free and wants to earn some money with it. Some money, enough money to be able to maintain everything plus money on top for their own, I got this. What I am not getting anymore is why people who rent are seen as a luxury income. Hey, and I’m not writing about deluxe apartments or big mansions, I’m writing about normal flats, houses for families.

You can argue now that it is my very own fault if I decide to live in Munich and yes, you are partly right with it. Partly because I accept that everything is a bit more expensive here than in a small countryside city, but what I do not accept is that you pay a fortune for nothing.

I am checking offers since a couple of years now and the market is truly insane. People offer for instance a house which is in the state of the 1980’s, the bathroom is a disaster, kitchen not available (means you have to bring your own), carpets everywhere also from the 1980’s, the garden not maintained at all. The size is 110 square metres and they ask for either a monthly rent of 2300 Euro (without gas and water) or if you want to buy the price is 980.000 Euro.

If only I could tell you that this is a joke, but they are indeed serious.

What should a family earn in order to have a nice family home to stay in?

As a family we are willing to pay entry for the zoo, we love to go and eat outside, grab ice-cream on the way to the playground, buy local and support smaller shops in our area, we love the “hood” we are living in. But all of this would be impossible when we move to a bigger place because of these ridiculous prices.

Our current living situation is tiny, our place is small but we live where we want to live. Of course we wouldn’t mind to have more place and a garden, not at all, but not if we have to cut our visits to the museum, eating out or summer vacations.

Are cities only made for the rich?

Are only the top managers allowed to live here? Is it the newly rich clients you are looking for to spend their money here? A city will lose its spirit like this and a city will not have any more stories to tell.

Apart from ‘normal’ families, has anyone ever thought about the elder people? A 82-year old widow who would love to stay in the flat where her husband died but cannot afford it anymore. A 90-year old man who is half blind but knows all the ways he needs for his daily life by heart. A couple married for 60 years and rooted exactly where they live. There is a saying that you cannot plug a tree out of the soil and plant it somewhere else, the same counts for many of the elder. It breaks my heart if I see them shattered because they don’t know where their life will go on. I even forget about all the young ones (us included) because we could make it anywhere, still.

Munich has a history, like every other city, there are biographies of people who lived here and brought something with them. There are statues all over the city and every single one of them tells a story. We will not write further history like this. A city lives through the personalities and if these are all forced to move outside the city spirit will slowly disappear.

Every even little personality surely was not rich and famous by the time they left their footprint in the heart of this city. Some where, some were not, it has always been a good mixture and that is how it should be.

Greedy is the new normal especially when it comes to living spaces within a city. Who has the newest building, who has the best view, who is in the most expensive area,… Shouldn’t it be: who can help neighbours when needed, who can support the homeless, who smiles at strangers because life is a wonderful thing?

Instead of greed let happiness rule because it doubles if you share – at the end of the day that counts more than the number on your bank account, does it not?

Off to new adventures – Yoga Teacher Training

I did it – I signed up for a 200 hour yoga teacher Training.

This day will be marked in my calendar as the first step towards a major shift.

When, where, why, what for – all of this will be something I may share in future posts.

For now I just want to shout out that I finally made the decision to sign up and to start this journey.

Burning

I’m literally burning, I want to soak in and learn, dive into the depth of my being and move from one Asana to another. I want Yoga in my life and I want to understand more about it.

It already feels like a wonderful decision and now it’s up to me to start.

Yoga Plays a role in my life since several years and this decision was already overdue I guess. I wrote several Posts About yoga already – one for example is this one https://misssfaith.yoga/2017/05/18/yoga-isnt-my-religion/

Now I will sit back and celebrate this first major decision of 2020 – off to new ways!!!

What has been your first major decision in 2020?

If you are interested in becoming a Yoga Teacher, I can recommend you the book “Teching Yoga beyond Poses”. It was one big inspiration for me and made it easy to finally sign up for the training.

A whole new year…

A whole new year lays ahead of us and I’m excited.

Excited and positive, anxious and scared.

Life is unpredictable which makes it interesting but scary at the same.

As a perfectionist you are going to hate it not to know what comes next but the truth is, we will never know what comes next. Neither planning nor wishing will bring us to the point that a life is going as smoothly as we would like.

I just need to look around our home and since we have a child it looks sometimes as if a bomb of Lego and toy animals exploded.

The wonderful part of these “explosions” is that there is life! I admit that I would sometimes which for this old home where you don’t have to clean 24/7 without an end in sight, the times where I just sat down on the couch with a book because nothing else needed to be done. Nowadays there is no “nothing else needs to be done”. This wishing back the old days are only short moments because reality quickly sets in and I’m so grateful for this reality.

Life is far far far away from perfect and this imperfection is so lovely. We are the happiest when we three are together (my son, my husband and I) because indeed, that’s life, that’s reality, that’s all to wish for.

The perfectionist in me is almost crying because I have no idea how this year will go along but what I know is that we can manage all as long as we are a family and love each other like we do.

Is it wisdom that comes with age? I don’t know. Is it what you learn through motherhood? Maybe.

I cannot tell you when exactly this thinking was setting in for me-The more I think about life and what matters most the more I realize that there are profound things like love, trust, emotions, feeling grounded, mindfulness, thankfulness for what is, appreciation of what we have. These are what matters most.

The NOW of our life.

Tomorrow can be anything but if we manage to be happy now we reached a lot!

I’m not a spiritual teacher nor a motivation guide but the more I read and the more I do some research the more I see that many seem to seek happiness and fulfillment.

Our life has far too many choices to reach this stage and we get lost. We lose focus due to the amount of possibilities we have.

Nobody can have it all! I think this is the first and most important step towards an inner satisfaction of what is.

We need to stop ourselves along the way, take a step back, and start to sort. What are our personal priorities, what makes us really happy.

Social media are great, if used properly, and at the same time our personal nightmare, if used as a comparator (in both directions).

As long as we are realistic enough to know that we never ever see the whole picture on social media the usage may be utterly inspiring, we can learn lots and get input. There are some influencers out there who are really showing lots, their raw authentic self, but careful, for the majority we will never grasp the full picture and this is completely OK. We ourselves would also not expose our most vulnerable moments or dark sides to strangers. Just be sure that everyone has these sides (just not visible). The trick is to get inspired by the exposed good stories but don’t feel less worth because of our own failures.

The same goes for news – I barely read them nowadays because I feel more and more depressed, it seems as if there is no peace on earth at all but that’s wrong. Nobody will write a headline about a country at peace. We are responsible to filter all of this for ourselves because no news agency and no influencer and no person besides you is able to see what you need or what you can take at this moment.

You are the first responsibility for yourself and afterwards you decide what you watch, listen to, hear, read, where you step in, help, work, etc. This sounds selfish but it isn’t. Only if you feel at ease with yourself you will be capable of taking the rest.

My husband’s country is in a war state since we met. It won’t help if we start to site here each day and cry and complain and talk about how blessed we are to live here and what an injustice it is that his family is there and and and – it simply won’t help! We need to make sure that we are fine, we are parents, we have a responsibility. And when we are fine we can work, we can try to support, we can be the realistic part on the outside as we are not within, we can be the uplifting part when things go wrong again and try to soothe, we can only give our best in these moments. It is hard but that’s life – unfortunately – we cannot change the world but we can change our approach to our “small” circle in this world and try to be good examples. If everyone would be the best version of him or herself we would make a step in the right direction.

And at teh end of the day my biggest mantra for this year will be nobody is perfect and new ways are always possible – these sentences from a perfectionist are a big step.

My lessons learned from the past years. They may be an inspiration or just a small hint in which direction to think.

Being grateful for what we have and never taking anything for granted is one of the biggest epiphanies ever.

Living in a country without knowing war is not my achievement, it was simply luck of being born here at that time. Thanks!

Having met my husband was such a coincidence, this could never have been planned. Thanks!

Having a really full fridge is a blessing. Thanks!

You could go on like this but you know what, waking up each morning, feeling my heart beating should be reasonenough to be grateful for this life.

A whole new year…lays in front of us.

Let’s focus on the good.

Let’s try to ease the pain.

Let’s help where we can.

Let’s do what we can to make this a better place for all of us.

This year, next year and as long as we are here.

Where are we heading to?

This question popped up just this morning when I opened Instagram.

I must confess, I like Instagram and I often go in and check and find inspiration and ideas how to live more sustainable, I see great campaigns against many injustices on this planet, I follow people I adore like Deepak Chopra or Ram Dass and this is great.

But what I also see is that there are thousands of women who call themselves influencer, mom blogger, whatever name you want to give them, who expose their whole families, grandparents and neighbors of neighbors to the world wide web. They literally “sell” their life and feel like kind of a celebrity.

I mean, seriously, I show my home, my sacred place and start to tag everything from the lamp on the ceiling to the rug on the floor, I give away shopping codes and link web pages while hoping that people love me and follow my life and at the end of the day BUY.

This kind of commercializing products is not only weird, it’s also going into a direction where being unique seems to be outdated.

Every mom blogger account has the same brands (at least for what I can see in Germany), the wear the same jewelry, call themselves even designer because they put their name on products they designed? To be a designer for you normally need to attend classes in a design school, university, whatever, but hey, this is the easy way, right? They eat the same, the drink the same tea, they own the same coffee machines in their stylish mainly white colored new built homes and their kids have the same toys and clothes and prams. All for the price of inviting people into their life on a daily basis, day in and day out, from morning to bedtime routine, being healthy or not feeling fine.

I’m honest and especially the ones who build up their life like this will not agree on it, but filling the washing machine with the camera in my hand or making a time-lapse of how I clean the kitchen is NOT real life and is far away from what we should do with our time.

As wonderful as all these technologies are, as careful they need to be handled. What do we teach our children when we document every step we take, inside and outside? What do we teach them if mommy is putting on her make up each day in front of the phone while she’s talking to the phone instead of talking to her child?

Did you ever check your screen time per day? I know that it hits you once you start to focus on it, at least it hit me when I checked it, because this screen time means that you spent the time with a phone in your hand instead of being in the real NOW.

Eckhart Tolle wrote this wonderful book “the power of NOW” and I can recommend this to everyone – we are all right now here and we should spend our time wisely.

If it’s your job and your income to advertise and to sell, that’s great, but do it need the 24/7 exposure to the whole world? Isn’t it enough to create good selling content and pictures and tutorials?

I may never understand but wanted to share as I feel we are heading to a time where personal contact starts to be rare and real life exists only in form of a hashtag.

Go out, meet friends, take your children to the playground and just sit there, watching the leaves dancing in the wind with the sound of children laughing and playing, that’s real life, at least for me.

Take care

misssfaith <3

Back to the New Normal of Parenthood

Back to the New Normal of Parenthood

Back to the New Normal of Parenthood

Another mom post – mmmh – yes and no, I would call it HUMAN but mum influenced.

When you are only responsible for yourself these things like “am I a role model” or “what do others think” seem not to be important at all. OK, for some the second point is their life but let’s go away from those 🙂

What I mean is, I lived my life before I was a mom just the way I wanted to – I never thought of being a good example – I did what I wanted and what I deemed for myself to be correct and that’s it.

Now I see it slightly different because I have to be a good example, especially at the moment with a little parrot toddler.

My child is showing me where I can improve to be a better person on the one hand and on the other I realize that there are many things which I don’t want him to learn as being normal in this world.

It’s funny how wonderful my own childhood is now in my memory. It was wonderful but people tend to remember things brighter as they were. Surely not everything was better and I don’t want to sound like an old grumpy lady stating everything was better in the past because that’s not true but there were VALUES and I start to miss many of them nowadays.

I see children with no respect, running into adults without saying sorry, taking toys for granted and many seem to have no behavior anymore.

I don’t want my son to be that kind of child. He learns that respecting others is important because he wants to be respected as well. He learns that everyone makes mistakes and saying sorry is not a sign of weakness, saying thanks and please is something we live, he learns it as being normal and that’s how I learned it as well when I was a child.

We don’t bury him under the newest toys and gadgets for toddlers because it’s simply not needed. Children are so wonderfully innocent and find always something to play with, I don’t want to take away his curiosity and fantasy because that’s what is so precious in growing up. A simple carton box can be his toy for several days and only he knows what he is playing but if you watch him he’s the happiest little boy on earth.

The new normal is the headline, maybe you realize already what I mean.

I’ve seen a little girl recently which wanted to look like Elsa and I have no idea who Elsa is and had to google it. She’s influenced at the age of not even two by an artificial figure and wants long blond hair and princess dresses “to be also so beautiful”.

A little boy (around 4 to 5 years) is telling his mom in the supermarket that he wants to go home because he is too stressed and wants to relax.

These are only two examples from many many others I could give.

Where is the carefree childhood? Why do girls think they need to look like someone else to be beautiful, why does a boy at the age of four even know the word stressed?

It’s us!

We are the ones who have to give them the carefree childhood they deserve, it’s us who have to protect them from thinking they are not beautiful because they are the most beautiful humans on earth! We need to protect them and give them all the time they need to develop and grow without knowing what the word stress even means.

They need us to assure them day by day that they are perfect the way they are, that they can trust we are there for them whatever may happen, that they are cared for and loved endlessly, this is what they need to build a strong self-confidence, not figures like Elsa or a full calendar at the age of four.

I want to be like daddy, I want to be like mommy – aren’t these the sentences which proof that we are doing our job?

I sit down on the floor and I build castles out of sand, we snuggle and giggle and hide under blankets, we run in a goofy way through the house and can’t stop laughing – these are the memories I want my son to share with his children one day, not that he loved a movie character when he was three and the Chinese teacher (which seems to be a new trend as well) was his best friend at the age of three.

Let’s start a new normal, let’s be the old-fashioned parents who don’t start to park their children in front of the TV, who don’t support this big movie toy/gadget market out there, who choose to be retro if you want to call it like that in a modern way. We don’t have drive cars without seats for our children because we know better than the generation of our parents how dangerous it can be, but we still don’t need the iPad adapter for the back seats because we can sing all children’s songs loud in the car.

I love to go back to the old style with the knowledge from today!

Greetings from the new normal mom <3

 

 

 

 

When days go by so fast…

When days go by so fast…

Here we go again, the time of being apart has started and we have to jump back into our second routine.
It’s quite interesting to discover that we are leading kind of two lifes.
Whenever we are together we have our routine, the time which belongs to us although we have several things to do throughout our days. Whatever we do, we think about what’s best for both of us.
And then the time follows when we are apart and lead different life’s, I stay and my husband goes back into another country, onto another continent which is so far away from what I know.
I grew up safely in Europe and sometimes start to wonder how he can stand it all.
It’s always good to hear that he arrived safe but there are also always incidents which are beyond my imagination. Roads blocked completely by rebels or people who fight for 1000 of different reasons. I have the feeling as if he is only safe in his house and even this thought is quite childish. I close my eyes and am invisible? Surely not.
I try to live my normal routine and hate it more and more as I love the together time so much. I’m not made for being alone, I found my other half and we should be together. We both know that we are lucky as we found each other.
It’s ridiculous but I’m not doing many things I usually love to do when we are together like for instance writing on this blog, I hardly find the time to just sit down and read a magazine or watch stupid things on TV but do I want him to leave just to have time for it? Not at all – I could say easily I put all these things back as long as I have my husband around – he’s the most precious to spend my time with!
On the other hand we both know that our routine would change if we knew that we are permanently together, there will be another routine one day inshallah. For the time being we just try to soak in every second.
It’s been five weeks and now we are back alone – these weeks were wonderful but flew by like a lear jet – now it will be weeks of waiting which will crawl by like a snail.
Weeks with lots of what’s app and Skype, weeks where we are exhausted by these stupid web connections, weeks where we miss the touch of one another so much, weeks where we have to sleep in beds with an empty half but also weeks where we still know that our love is greater than the distance and which let us look forward to the day we drive back to the airports and close our arms tight around our second half.
Nobody said it will be easy but we are confident that it is exactly the right thing we are doing – love leads the way and opens new facets of life where we weren’t even aware of their existence.

Hey, and being back blogging feels good as well 🙂
Take Care!

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The life of my dreams – how would it be?

The life of my dreams – how would it be?

I think this is one of the questions many ask themselves, how would it be?
Do I want to be rich, do I want to be kind of perfect, do I want a big career, or just a tiny house and lots of children?
If I should answer this question for myself my life would be like that:
First of all I keep my husband in my life, I think that’s a good thing if he’s reading that, and I want him just to stay as he are and I want me to stay the way I am.
To be honest we already have a quite good life, but I would like to make some adjurations.
We need a home!
Not that we’re homeless right now, but a home where we are together most of the time. At the moment he is traveling lots between work and home, so I would dream of less work and more home but with the highest salary.
For my job I would like to switch from a full-time job to a part-time job also with the highest salary and with changing the job itself.
Okay, we are talking about dreaming, wishing how it could be, right?
So we will have a house by the sea in the south of England, obviously completely furnished in our style, including a few amenities like steam bath, Jacuzzi, a mid size garden, enough rooms for us and two kids, as well as one or two guestrooms with bathrooms en suite, a big kitchen and a big living room.
Our second house, yes, I’m not joking, will be exactly like the first one. The style could be a bit more oriental, a few palm trees in the garden and it is built in Libya.
So here we go, to be more realistic I wish Libya to be a calm country where we can spend half of the year while it’s winter in England.
In both houses I dream of having a room for myself with Gardenview where I can sit down quietly to write, to read a book or to start my paintings again.
I dream of less stress in our lives so that we can spend lots of leisure time with our kids and the family.
In between wish – keep all of them healthy and happy for a long, long time!
I wish our bank accounts to be always full with enough money so that we don’t have to worry about things.
I wish to have two kids, and for them I don’t care if it’s a boy and a girl, two boys or two girls, I just want them to be healthy and happy children that are raised in a loving surrounding. So, that they can say one day when they are grown ups, we had a beloved childhood.
I also wish for my husband and me that we stay healthy and are able to see them grow and have children themselves.
If I am dreaming on we are traveling each year to another destination to discover the world.
One of my personal dreams would be also that I am able at one point in time to send a book written by myself to many publishers just to see if I am able to write from a publishers point of view.
A wider view for sure would include a healthy environment, less poverty and a reduction of all the bad things in this world which are so present and which we see daily in the newspapers – no more wars, people living in peace, etc., but I’m not sure if I can heal the world in my dream.
I mainly dream about my small family circle as these are the most important persons for me. Nevertheless I could imagine as well that I don’t just travel to the nicest spots of this world but also see where is need to help. I don’t mean financial help as I haven’t dreamed of the super super lottery jackpot but to maybe volunteer in some well picked help organizations from time to time.
I’m not that selfish and when it comes to my future kids I want them to know that not everyone has lots of luck.
But back to my dream, I exclude parts like which type of car I want to drive as cars are there to get me from A to B, so not too much luxury needed. As long as the motor works in the morning and it’s a safe car I’m happy.
I wish for inner peace, this is something personal as well and I think I will never stop worrying, but to have an inner peace calming me down would be nice.
I wish I could learn it a bit from my husband, he seems often more relaxed than I.

What else do I wish for? Honestly, nothing, as when these dreams would come true I would be happy. Happy like a general happiness. There will always be dreams and wishes and they will change throughout the years but from my current point in life this would exactly be it.

What are you dreaming of?

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Our life search

Our life search

You only know what you are searching for when you loose something…

It can be good and bad, each will leave a trace in your life and suddenly you realize what’s important.
There may be times when you feel lost, when you don’t see reasons for things that happened, but be faithful, these incidents open new doors you weren’t aware of that they exist.
Fairytales are for kids, this is partly true as in each of them you will find hints on what’s important and the knight is mostly appearing when the princess went through her struggles.
I found my “knight” although I don’t say I’m a princess, but there will be a time when you realize what the past was for. I truly believe that this “meant to be” does exist.
Maybe it strengthens you, makes you more mature, gives you happy times and memories.
We are all searching and this search will never stop. If you stop searching you will stop living as we have still so much to discover.
I like to say that I arrived in my life but this is only half true. I did actually feel as if I arrived, but only partly (which is already a great achievement).
There are many other parts left as life is big and full of challenges, wonders and experiences.
Don’t aim for all at once, take steps on your way.
Nobody can stand on the top of a mountain without walking upwards, having rest in between, struggles, is about to give up, feels exhausted or just takes a break to enjoy the moment. We all start on the foot of the mountain called life and I’m not sure who’s the happier person when reaching the top.
Is it the one running upwards, who may miss the silence, the view, the temperature changes and all the things which are present around him?
Or is it the one walking step by step, who knows how the snow smells at a certain height, who see ice crystals on his nose and feels the cold creeping up, who breathes in the cold air while having the view backwards to realize how far he got already?

What do you prefer? Are you the runner or the walker in life?
Happy journey!

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Can you please grow old with grace?

Can you please grow old with grace?

I have the feeling as if the world around me is getting more and more insane.
As soon as I open the web, a magazine, the TV and sometimes even the front door I see false faces.
Who ever made a law that women past 30 aren’t allowed anymore to have small wrinkles around their eyes or normal lips?
What I’m wondering is, do they like what they find each morning in their mirror?
Questions which are answered with “No, I just drink lots of water and eat healthy, there was nothing done to my face, honestly!” – sure, and I’m living on the moon.

I don’t like to drink plain water but therefore lots of different teas and yes, also the scary brownish fluid called coffee, may this be the reason for the wrinkles around my eyes? Definitely no! I live and I love and I laugh!!!
I fortunately get older each year. Oh, and I mean each year, I’m not celebrating my 29th birthday for the sixth time in a row.
Don’t get me wrong, I love to look beautiful and I’m almost addicted when it comes to new creams, oils, etc. (mmhh, I’m lazy with eye cream) but if I see needles or even surgery knifes near to a face I run as fast as I can. I’m a coward, I know. These surgeries for sure don’t hurt. It’s just like buying new shoes, isn’t it?
The cruel part is that you can get the idea of “easy done” when you see all these perfect faces (which in reality remind me of the rocky horror picture show).
Aren’t they scared of mistakes, reactions to narcotics, a loose hand of a surgeon who worked 48 hrs in a row? I would be and in the same way I would be scared of the result.
Will I be able to recognize myself afterwards or do I look like a brand new person?

Thanks, that I don’t have to answer as I won’t do something to my face but I’m sure I would miss the stories it’s telling. My husband has many expressions of my face he loves (tired, laughing loudly, looking scared) and some he dislikes (no, I never look at him in an angry way even if he’s saying so…).
Just imagine what a loss it would be when I turn up with a stiff face – no movement visible.
And lips is also a topic which is scaring me. If the whole face seems to be just lips and more important, their sensitivity. Lips belong to the most sensitive parts of a human and it’s just taken to have one rubber hose above another? Isn’t that insane?
Not to mention want can be done besides the face…sitting has to be hard for some for a couple of weeks when the inlays are new.

Why are woman doing that?!?

There is always a ‘behind the scenes’ and I would say it’s first of all a big lack of self confidence. Whatever this comes from, a deep look into oneself would be better than trying to hide insecurities or scars behind a mask.

Other reasons could be to follow the crowd, like in childhood – eeeeeveryone has this, mummy, I neeeeed that too!!!! I’m happily swimming against the crowd then.

Or to get closer to ideal faces you find in commercials as the for sure NEVER went through photoshop!!! Just check some Facebook profiles from teenager, they already know with Instagram and several other apps how to look as if they just turned twenty five with no spots on their skin and sleek hair. The problem is just that you won’t recognize them in real life.

Could men be a reason? I’m not entirely sure about men – there are men who love these masks but hopefully the majority still loves real beauty.

But the main point is, for whom am I doing something and for me it’s in first place myself. Sure I like to be pretty for my husband but if I ask him he states, I love you how you are, if you just stood up in the morning or put make up for whatever, it’s you.
That’s one of the most important points.
You can do as much as you want but beauty means more than the face, it means attitude, authenticity, charisma, radiation, aura, inner feelings and so on – all these will shop up on your face and in your eyes.
The majority of these lifted, unreal, I-want-to-be-perfect women have one thing in common – dead eyes. What I mean is their eyes are blank, emotionless, the sparkle is missing and they do not glow.

For sure these are all extremes and to be natural, authentic and real doesn’t mean that we can’t use a bit of make up, of course we can, we are women. I like that as well to underline, but what we should not to is trying to paint something new onto something old or vice versa. It will never work.
Do they think about the coming years? How will it look like in ten years, will they look like a hobbit with hanging ears? Or will they have monthly appointments to stretch the skin again a bit more and fix it behind their hanging ears?
I cannot imagine that we won’t have cute grand moms anymore in a couple of years, that’s a big loss!
The perfect women society – teenager look as if they are twenty nine as well as their moms and grand moms?
I don’t want to join this society!

I was thinking about before/after pictures but I decided against as I’m sure everyone knows instantly what I mean (if not, then this post may not be for you ;-))
Instead of horror pictures I reveal my first wrinkles (please ignore the mascara spread below but fortunately I’m not the photoshop master).
It may be a horror picture for the addicted ones, for me it’s my life and it looks as if I had good laughs and I plan to have them in the future as well!

Stay real!!!

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Half way gone again

Half way gone again

Since we are married, which is two months now, we spent half of the time together.
Half, this word is present in my/our life.
My husband is my second half, and we are again half way gone until I can close my arms around him and feel complete.
It’s strange, one half on the African and one on the European continent. We never feel complete during the times we are apart. But we are feeling home where ever we are as long as we are together.
Each time it cuts like a knife when we have to say good bye, we know that a part of our life’s will be far away for several weeks. No opportunities to hold hands, to snuggle up when being tired. Endless nights spent alone and many things more. Even the grocery shopping makes much more fun when being together, it’s ridiculous but it’s true.
Inshallah, half way gone again, beginning of Dec we can enjoy the complete life once again.

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My window into a new life

My window into a new life

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You see the window on this picture, that’s “my” window, it was taken while we were on our first holidays on Cyprus.
My husband gave me the sight back – I was blind, blind in regards to life.
Too many struggles, never ending thoughts, resignation, running in circles, I simply lost the view towards my own future. Life was mainly dark and silent and then he stepped all of a sudden into my life and was so optimistic.
Life is not easy but we should live it as whatever is meant to happen will happen – his faith. We are both faithful persons but in complete different meanings.
What counts is the outcome – being able to love yourself, listen to your heart, trust others, look forward instead of living in the past.

The past is not our life anymore so we need to let it go.

This window is special as it was in an old castle and the way up scared me, always the abyss in sight and for me far too close to the car.
He reassured me, nothing will happen.
He was wrong – something happened – within me!

I trusted because he was confident to take us up there safe.
I looked forward to discover the ruins.
I enjoyed this amazing view with his arms around me, safe and sheltered.
And most important – I was absolutely sure that this view will change my life, this view we enjoyed together, the old ruins we discovered but then left behind like our past.

Sometimes you need to fall, but there will always be one person helping you getting back on track if you struggle and are scared of making it on your own.
I was on the edge of my own darkness, I crawled up slowly throughout the year before these holidays and I have to thank him for dragging me out there before I may fall in again.
This last piece of the way was what stopped me. Maybe because I had no aim to walk towards to.
Love is a great power in both ways, the good and the bad.
Today I can say I found the good, the one that is real and the one where you are loved just the way you are.

 

The proposal

The proposal

Did I mentioned already that I’m the happiest person on earth right now?
And did I mentioned already that I’m engaged? Engaged like going to marry, like starting really an adult life, being serious and sharing my life with a precious person?
If not, then you know it now – yes, I said yes to THE question.
The question we saw so many movies about, the most romantic moment in a women’s life…there are many mysteries about how a proposal should be to be perfect.
Luckily for my fiancé I’m not a girly, princess-like woman who loves pink and dreams about a wedding in a castle.
To be honest I don’t even like all this stuff. I like to be a woman, to dress up sometimes, to look beautiful, I have my nails done etcetera but if it comes to wedding ceremonies I like it pure and small.
How did he ask me?
The sky was red, the sun fading in the horizon, music was playing far away and brought to us by a summer breeze, he kneeled down in front of me…blablabla…
No, that would have been the version many expect but not me.
I have to disappoint all now as this most intimate moment is something so pure and private and even if I’m really so so happy it is a moment that belongs to us. Just the two of us who sealed somehow our future way.
But what changes if you answer the question of all questions?
As a realistic thinking person I always thought it will not change my life too much as I will stay the same person but I was totally wrong.
This feeling of connecting, of sealing a bond for the rest of my life, it’s something so new and exciting. For instance, I wear rings, always, and I change them according to my mood, but when we bought the engagement rings it was different. (Also finding the right ones was different or special but that’s another story – haha. The rebel in me wasn’t convinced of all these couple rings.) I’m hardly taking it off nowadays and whenever I look at it my heart is bumping. There is my second half present in this ring and giving me the feeling of being loved, wanted, needed, taken care of – no doubts just entirely happiness. It’s kind of weird as I never could imagine how it would be and that a tiny question could change so many things but it does. I think even if I would start to write a full book about it it will never catch all emotions as you have to experience them.
The dimension of a relationship changes in the second and I love it!
More stories soon and up to then, keep the faith!

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