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Don’t let Doubt be your Friend!

Don’t let Doubt be your Friend!

One of the lessons learned and believe me, this wasn’t an easy one.

It is natural I guess – throughout or life we are doubting… if we are on the right path, doing the right thing, meeting the right people … this is needed as check or ourselves. We build up confidence like that as well.

Doubt becomes a problem when we doubt more than being sure we did something right.

When I write don’t let doubt be your friend I don’t mean it should be your enemy, you will need it, until the end of your life, like a person you meet once in a while but not regularly. Like this person you know your whole life which tells you after a couple of years that you look great, that you changed your style and it suits you, that you were always adored for your skills in whatever, you get what I mean I hope. This person can also tell you that the old car was better than the new you have chosen, but in the end you are driving that car and you need to be feeling good in it.

What are you doing with the car for instance? You may reconsider changing it back because this person had some proper arguments, or you stop thinking about it because it was well thought over in first place?

Doubt is ALWAYS just an adjuster or a confirmer, it is rarely a complete changer but more a lesson learned.

But what if you think you are doing the right thing and all of a sudden Mr. Doubt shows up regularly? He considers himself your new friend and crawls into your life. He is telling you his opinion whenever he can and it’s always the opposite of what you were considering to be right. He starts to drain your energy because it is not easy to be criticized for every step you make. And it’s wrong!

Many may have this colleague who’s acting like that, or even a boss.

Believe me, a good colleague or a well-trained manager would NEVER make you doubt everything. they would make you aware if something isn’t going to the right direction and offer advise, training or help to fix it.

I doubted – too much, so much that I fell exhausted into my bed in the evening because I felt NOT ENOUGH. From the depth of my heart I knew that I did the right thing(s). I even knew it because I got feedback from many others but that one stupid Mr. Doubt was so present and so nagging with his comments that I started to doubt – more and more.

He stepped into my life as if he was an old friend but that’s not true. I knew him and I met him once in a while but I never considered him to be one of my close friends. The opposite, I was always happy when he disappeared and his permanent presence made me feel not good at all, not sufficient and not enough.

I had to learn this and especially I had to learn to tell him STOP!

Stop for the sake of my health – mentally and physically. Once this step was done it felt better because I gained my worth back. My knowledge that has been built up over the years could not be completely wrong as Mr. Doubt tried to make me believe. I was able again to hold my head up high and face him and tell him that he will not succeed in breaking me, because this is what he wanted as my “friend”.

Doubt is like a toxic person

We all know them and we all know that we should keep them very distanced as they otherwise would start to influence our life (and not in a good way).

Almost a year later I am sitting here typing, my stomach still hurts and seems twisted from time to time which is a reminder of what I went through. I’m not complaining because in the end I know who I am and what I am worth! In the end Mr. Doubt and his companions are the poor ones. They will never be happy in their life because as long as you are constantly criticizing others you ignore your own problems which probably are more intense than I can imagine them to be.

We are all human beings, we are all not perfect and that is perfectly fine!

We are supposed to make mistakes to learn and grow. We are exactly where we should be and if someone makes you start to doubt be careful. We can support, we can share experiences, we can give a helping hand, but if we start to put ourselves higher and make others doubting their worth we are the problem, not the other persons!

The struggle to accept and realize that not everyone is my friend even though they pretend to be was long and intense and I don’t want to go through it once again. But truly, I am more mindful and focused than ever before. I’m thankful to know that not I was the problem but others.

If you read my blog before you have an idea of how I think and in this case I could be mad, I could start to hate persons who tried to harm me but that’s not me.

Karma will catch them sooner or later!

I don’t want to poison my thoughts with hatred, I don’t want to invite negativity to my life and I don’t want to hate. To focus on what’s positive in all this is much more rewarding and makes me happier than giving attention to the bad. It doesn’t mean that I ignore, no, I acknowledge, analyse, take my lesson out and then put it aside as it no longer serves me.

I truly hope that whenever you doubt you don’t let these thoughts taking over the reigns – they won’t guide you in a good way. Doubt is not supposed to be permanently present but occasionally only.

Always tell yourself that you are doing the best you can at that time in your life and you are learning along the way. At every second you are where you are supposed to be as the best version of you.

You are worth to kick Mr. Doubt out if he starts to approach you more than you can take. It’s your life!

Stay strong and never doubt the wholeness of your being!

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A birthday post…

A birthday post…

…yes, it is my birthday today, and yes, I’m staying home and work normally like each Monday.
And no, I’m not lonely or weird (kind of lonely as I would love to have my husband around, but that’s another story). For weirdness, hello, it’s my birthday, so nobody can say today that I’m weird even if I may be from time to time a bit out of the range of “normal”.
I’m just not this “Heyyyy, it’s my big day and I HAVE to celebrate it”-type of woman.

I honestly like my birthday because it means I’m still here and I’m growing older, getting more wise sometimes, learn more, and have a day where the courier pops by to deliver nice surprises. Not celebrating doesn’t mean I don’t like gifts!
Mom is baking each year something I love and sends it frozen so that I can start to eat the yummie things right after arrival.
My parents, my sister and friends (which are all not living near) are sending greetings and presents and I love it.
Being on Facebook means that at least once per year my timeline is full of new posts and this is the reason why I started this one here.

Ok, I’m one year older and it’s a sign of good behavior to congratulate. I learned that as well when I grew up. But, and that’s a big but, why do people think I don’t like my age?
I got messages this morning like “all the best to your 28. birthday” or “Happy hatch day”.

I’m 36!!!
I’m neither losing my mind and think I’m younger than I am nor am I a chicken!
What do these people think?
Earlier when I had my sister on the phone I was suggesting to write on Facebook later today the following entry:

“Thanks for all congratulations today! Just to clarify, I like my age and I’m hardly doubting that I have a hatch day as my mom confirmed she went through labour 36 yrs ago. For the ones who mentioned the word hatch or a number which is far away of my real age – thanks for being my “friends” throughout the last years but I think I have to get rid of your profiles through to unbridgeable differences in thinking and growing. Getting older means being more mature and sorry to say that, but as you seem to remain at 28 over even younger (hatch) I’d rather say goodbye instead of ripping my nerves.”

Would that be too rude?

And what can I do about all these online shops which are sending me emails today?
I was thinking to reply back to each single one:
“Dear (amazon, iTunes, Miles&more, Dove, Biotherm, L’Occitane, Cosmopolitan, Elle, miu miu, Harrods, Tiffany, Lafayette,…I think you’ve got it, so I don’t list all the others.),
It’s really nice that you took the time for checking your calendar and realized that it’s my birthday today.
Also thanks for sitting down and writing such nice words just for me to honor my day but instead of offering me a discount of 10% with a minimum order of 150€ or a free mascara with a minimum order of 75€ or something similar may I explain something?
If I’m not wrong the birthday should be a day where I receive gifts and gift means, according to Wikipedia, the following:
A gift or a present is an object given without the expectation of payment.
Although gift-giving might involve an expectation of reciprocity, a gift is meant to be free.
In many human societies, the act of mutually exchanging money, goods, etc. may contribute to social cohesion.
Economists have elaborated the economics of gift-giving into the notion of a gift economy. By extension the term gift can refer to anything that makes the other happier or less sad, especially as a favour, including forgiveness and kindness.

Said this I want to point out that if you want to make me happier or less sad I attached a list of objects – you can choose whatever you want as all of them would make me happier.
The shipping address is added and I look forward to see what the surprise will be in the end.
If you can’t decide as the list is too long, don’t worry, no one said a birthday gift can only be one item.

Thanks for your understanding and best regards,
Miss Faith”

Writing this post already made me happier to be honest.
You can start to congratulate now if you like – haha.
Have a good day and take care!

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My husband & my best friend

My husband & my best friend

My husband & my best friend (1)

My husband and my best friend are one and only person.

I truly believe that this is the key for a good relationship.
We are not only husband and wife, we are also best friends.

There’s nothing I’m afraid of telling him. In good times and in bad times, I think that’s the most important part of it. Whenever there is something happening to him or to me we are calling each other and telling each other the news.

I want him to be the first person to know whatever is going on in my life, and fortunately he’s thinking the same way.

I not only love him, no, I trust him, I rely on him, I adore him, I laugh with him, I cry with him, I just want him to be around and to be the most important part of my life.
There are for sure many couple things we are doing together, grocery shopping, candlelight dinners in the evening, serious couple talking or future planning, building up our home, holding hands while strolling through the park, visiting the family and helping each other through tough times.

But there are on the other side also many friend things we are doing together, like sitting in a coffee gossiping about people walking by, chatting about nonsense the whole evening long, watching movie after movie and eating unhealthy things, clothes shopping (even shoe shopping although he is a man) or just sitting on the couch and talking for hours.

The time I spend with him is the most precious time in my life, even if we are fighting from time to time about stupid things, every second belongs to us and this is what I love most.

Whoever said that relationships have to be totally serious is wrong. Most important from my point of view is that you have to find the balance, the balance between being serious as a couple but also having lots of fun.

For sure if you’re tying the knot this is serious, but just because we are now husband and wife doesn’t mean that our personalities changed completely, we are still allowed to laugh out loud when we want to and to take life just as it is.
All facets of life should be displayed in a married life as well. We go through fun times and through sad times, we act serious and not serious, we behave like adults and we behave like children, and if you found the person where you can be all at once without getting a serious or a strange look, then you can be sure that you found it, the love you were looking for.

Keep it safe, hold onto it even if times are hard, it is a gift and it is so unique.
Many out there trying to search for it, they sometimes lose sight of the importance and search for something perfect and get frustrated because they’re not able to find it.
It will find you!

But it will only find you when you stop searching and if you get a way of wanting something perfect, it will never be perfect. It just can’t be perfect because we are humans. I’m truly convinced that these relationships happen by accident, accident in the best sense of the word accident. They hit you when you’re not expecting it. That’s the surprise of the meant to be.

Nobody ever told me that I have to go through so many struggles before this happens, but in the end I can say all these struggles were worth it. We found each other without searching and that was the best thing that happened to us. Now it’s our task to keep it going and we will give the best in us for the future.
Stay faithfully and never stop hoping!

 

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How to be a real and true friend

How to be a real and true friendWhat are the most important things in real friendship and how can friendships last?
Many pretend to have hundreds of friends but are these real ones?
I cannot believe it as from my point of view a friendship is a relationship growing over the years and we have to “work” on it. Trust is one of the basics as is honesty. We all haven’t just happy days and the phrase “in good and in bad times” is not only valid for marriage. Real friends are the ones who smile and laugh with you and not about you and who are not ashamed of sharing tears with you when times are not good. They share their last piece of bread and invite you for dinner when you ran out of money or food.
But only taking is no friendship, you have to act the same way.
We are living in a stressful world and what I appreciate about my real friends is that regardless of when we had the last meeting or phone call we stay friends – it’s like having spoken the day before even if it were two or three months and nobody is angry as we understand that all of us have enough to do and are sometimes just too tired to pick up the phone and dial a number.
When meeting friends face to face focus on them, you scheduled a date to have them around you so the worst you can do is focussing on something else or talking only about yourself. If you want to be friends you have to be one yourself.
Selfish or not interested persons are the ones without real friends at the end because no one can bare to be put in the background on every occasion.
Sure there are times when one or the other has more to talk about and it’s normally regulated by life but as soon as you realize that the topics are always about others and never about what you experience, feel or go through it’s time to think it over.
Either you are able to discuss it honestly and maybe the other person just didn’t realize and promises to change and be more attentive or it’s time to say goodbye.
I said goodbye last year to a few and after almost one year without them I can say, I don’t miss anyone. Even better, I’m truly happy to have no contact any longer because there are so-called friends who can eat you up and suck your energy. These are the ones to kick out as soon as you realize as they don’t do any good thing in your life, they just live in their little world and suggest themselves as the key of the universe.
Going seriously to your list of friends and decide who is worth to move forward with and who not is a great thing. Free yourself from negative persons and surround yourself with the true and real ones.
I rather end up with just a few real friends instead of having many fake ones!

Keep the faith, Miss Faith!