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Week 10 of quarantine and night of destiny in Ramadan

Wow, we made it already to week 10 of this crazy corona quarantine and more than 3 weeks now additionally with a fasting husband at home.

If you ask me how I feel – a mixture of insanity, being tired, running out of ideas for our son, trying to move forward with my yoga teacher training, keeping the mood bearable, when will this be over???

As I know my husband since 2011 we are I guess one of the lucky couples who knew each other already well enough to “survive” a lock-down and a quarantine with no real end in sight (why has this virus to be so greedy – it’s enough little covid, time for you to disappear, please!).

As parents we were put into the situation to be…yeah, to be parents still, right? I need to admit that we are currently in the very fortunate situation to be at home, so no worry about how to get work done while having to take care of our son, this helps immensely and I remember my home office days with him around me too – if you are able to complete 50% of your tasks with your child at home then kudos (it’s like reaching level 200 in Super Mario I guess). I can’t say thanks often enough for platforms like pinterest to give us idea 196 for DIY projects with a 4 year old but also need to mention one book which gave us lots of inspiration and great times already.

Recommended so much (and no cooperation or link where I earn something) – I bought it just because I discovered Laura Brand on Instagram and her ideas are indeed magical!

I’m not lying – there are days where I want to hide under the blanket the whole day watching nonsense on Netflix uninterrupted because I cannot face this world anymore. But then a little hand reaches out to me and I know I cannot. These times are scary and uncertain but my fear is nothing to teach my son – his childhood lays on us and we are the ones to build memories for him. I want him to remember this as a very intense family time, a time we spent happily together, walking through the forest, discovering snails, searching for flat stones to draw on at home. This is our destiny, isn’t it? So we have to make the best out of it!

And writing about destiny – today is day 71 of our quarantine and tonight is the night of destiny in Ramadan. My husband told me last night and shame on me, he tells me each year the meaning but I often forget the whole story behind. As a short explanation:

Allah the Almighty states in the Holy Koran: “Surely, we sent it [the Koran] on the Night of Destiny. And what should make thee know what the Night of Destiny is? The Night of Destiny is better than a thousand months. Therein descend angels and the Spirit by the command of their Lord with their Lord’s decree concerning everything. Peace — so will it be even at the rising of the dawn.” (Surah al-Qadr, Ch 97: V 1-6)

So tonight will be the night of great blessings where god (Allah the Almighty) showers his mercy upon faithful believers. In the Koran it’s said the revelation of the Koran began on this very night. Especially in its last ten days there has been the a showering of blessings and mercy in the month of Ramadan.

If you want to read more in depths you can visit this site:

The Night of Destiny

When you know my blog you know that my husband is muslim whereas I am not – we live very well with these different beliefs but of course we discuss lots. But what we also do, and that’s I guess is the most important, we support each other in what we do. So when he is fasting during the month of Ramadan I adapt (not always to his mood 🙂 but to the schedule) and I like some of the rituals. We should spend a peaceful night tonight and there’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe there are angles, a spirit, a higher force – I am not the one who judges that. Especially when you raise a child together you need to treat each other with full respect and that’s what we do.

As yogi I believe more in destiny in general – not linked to a certain religion. There surely are shifts and I very often use the sentence “it was meant to be” and that’s what I belive in. The choices we make are made for reasons and they guide us to where we should be. If it turned out to be a direction we don’t feel fine in then we take it as a lesson learned and move on.

This is also the way from my perspective to treat this quarantine. Of course I made plans in the beginning (10 weeks ago), we can do so many great things as a family together. And of course this didn’t work out. There were days where I was struggling so so much with anxiety and panic, there were days where our mood was only enough to stare at the TV in disbelief of what’s going on, there were days where we stayed in our PJs from dusk till dawn and that’s OK. If it already taught me one thing than to let go. Letting go of trying to be strong when I feel weak – both are vaild and both are essential in life. Only when you know how it feels to be weak you can be strong.

Tell me, how do you experience this quarantine? I’d love to hear stories from around the globe because one thing is for sure:

We are all in this together!

Stay safe and healty

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Yogain‘t a Choice anymore

Yogain‘t a Choice anymore

It’s a lifestyle I can’t Escape, even if my inner lazy self would love too, once in a while.

I think I’m totally lost (some would say), lost in the sense of being unable to live without Yoga.

This journey started when I was lost and down to earth.

I was literally down on my knees because I treated myself not in the way I should have.

I guess everybody reaches a time in his / her life where you are forced to change something; something profoundly.

For me this change happened in 2011 and it was just the starting point. I wasn’t sure if my way would bring me up on my feet again or if I had to seek professional help one day.

Books and Yoga was my way and on top a single vacation which was needed more than I was aware when I planned it.

The adventure of my vacation is also on the blog:

First holidays on my own in Italy – part 1 (Arrival)

Ever since the decision to change my life the term Yoga is a present part of my life. Some days more and some days less, like waves. On days which are exhausting the waves are stronger and the urge to dive into my yoga is more present than on peaceful days.

Yoga has been my therapy. No, yoga is my therapy!

My drug, my realm, my happy place, my hideaway…it is bigger than visible for outsiders because so much takes place inside of me.

I may not be a typical yogi which raises the question what a typical yogi is.

This picture of how a yogi should be is changing fortunately because a yoga lifestyle is as individual as human mankind is. Nothing is typical, there are no rules on what need to be fulfilled, the only important point is: be authentic and live in a way you are feeling comfortable with!

Every yogi out there is following an individual path and none is better than the other. To learn not to judge others is a big lesson because we all tend to judge others.

How can she call herself yogi if she never stepped into a yoga studio?

How can she write about Yoga without being able to do a handstand?

How can she tell others she’s leading a yoga lifestyle if she is not rolling out her mat daily?

I can and I do because of all of this.

Who is able to tell you who you are, if not you yourself?

The first person being sure about how your life is going along, what path you are on, how you feel about certain topics, how happy you are is: YOU YOURSELF!

One of the biggest lessons in life for me has been that nobody except of me can tell me how I feel or who I am or what I need. I am in charge of it and I decide what I need and what I don’t need. I decide what I want and what I don’t want.

I tell you who I am and nobody else is telling me who they think I am!

Trust your journey and walk your path. This is the best advice I have to give simply because this is what I do. I may be wrong on my way but that’s fine, only if you walk in the wrong direction once in a while you will be able to readjust and turn things upside down to find your right direction.

You are worth to live in a way you want and if this includes yoga, religion, music, literature, any interest you have to feel better, then DO IT!

My way is the yoga way and this includes many side ways as well and at the end of the day my theme is “Yogain’t a choice any more” because it lives within me. Yours may be “Vegain’t a choice any more”, “Shambalain’t a choice any more” or whatever you choose / have Chosen for your life to have a profound impact-

Trust your journey and live it. Lots of love <3

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The most wonderful time…

The most wonderful time…

… of the year is when?

I am a summer person so I should say summer, shouldn’t I?

But there are days in winter I like as well so here I already have a tiny problem to define my most wonderful time.

And if I think further I gave birth to my son in spring, so this time would be supposed to be mine.

Our wedding in August, we are going on summer vacation in August as well, August has long warm summer evenings and we wake up because the bright summer sun is lighting up the bedroom.

What about the golden September days, the end of the summer where we enjoy the still warm sunshine.

In October the first real autumn days are approaching us. Leaves are falling and make funny sounds when we walk through the park.

In November I’ve been born, winter is slowly showing us its face. Nights are starting to be colder and the air in the morning already smells snowy.

In December we like the snowflakes dancing through the cold air, the kitchen is warm and we start to bake Christmas cookies and look forward to spend the Christmas days with family and friends.

In January a new year just begun. We feel as if we have a million possibilities of things we can do throughout that year, we plan, we hope, we look forward to what it has in store for us.

In February my parents have their birthdays and a snowy Phase often starts before we will see the first signs of spring. We settle slowly into the still new year and wait for the warmth to return.

In March the spring feeling hits us, we drink coffee again outside, still in warm jackets but the outside season starts after we were inside for a long cold winter.

In April some days can we really warm already. Our son was born and lights up our life each second since. My sister and best friend are also having their birthdays in April.

In May everything blooms, this time of the year is so wonderful, I start to hear people outside in the evenings and this “life” in the city raises my mood. Almost everyone seems to smile because the dark days are over for a good while.

June is always my busy month to plan our summer vacation. I know there are early booking advantages but somehow I am the last (very last) minute person. However, we spent great summer holidays so far so it doesn’t seem to be too bad.

July is packed with sunshine. We try to spend as much time outside as possible and enjoy this summer atmosphere in the city.

Vacation time starts mid August and ends always with my husbands birthday followed by our wedding anniversary ❤️

So now, how should I decide which time of the year I like most?

If I would ask my son he would answer NOW, simply because he does not have this time feeling yet. If he wants something he wants it directly, not in 5 minutes and surely not tomorrow or next month or even year.

He lives NOW and this is one of the biggest lessons he teaches me day in and day out.

Now is the best time of the year, now is the best time of our life, now is all that matters.

Everything I do now will influence my tomorrow so if I complain the whole day long I may think the next day that I wasted a whole day for nothing, which will make me mad again – this is a vicious circle, it draws me into a life of complaining.

But if I cherish what I have and start to make the best out of even the darkest moments, then I wake up the next day and I will be grateful for what I have.

Be here now and love your life the way you want to – we only have this one!

Much love to you, you are in the most wonderful time of the year now, tomorrow and every day after!

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Blogging Mom

Blogging Mom

Hey there,

I do call myself a blogging mom because that’s what I do – sometimes – irregular – when there’s time – yeah, indeed not that often – BUT I do it.

Who’s a blogging mom and who defines that?

If I look just at myself, self reflection is a good thing, isn’t it, then I see that whenever I find the time to write I enjoy it like Christmas and my birthday together. This time is MY time.

But this rarely happens – am I a bad blogger?

I think I’m an authentic blogger, that’s what I like to call myself because it turns me into something positive. Why should I call myself bad and have a bad feeling because of it?

I mean, honestly, I am a mom and how much time moms have? Answer honest.

Almost no time at all which enables us to sit on a clean desk in a clean flat or house with a mind focused only on the newest topics everyone is talking about…

I’m happy when I can catch up with what’s in at the moment at all between changing diaper, playing, working, cooking, doing the laundry, etc. – I don’t have to make that list because most of you know very well what I mean.

How the heck are moms able not only to write twice or more per week OR even do vlogs? You don’t want to see daily vlogs or Instagram stories from me, I promise you.

These perfect families are suspicious (for me) – do they have jobs? Do they have dirty carpets? Do they have to do grocery shopping with a crying child because it’s not getting everything it wants? I wonder where the normal families are where life is wonderful, absolutely wonderful, but far away from perfect.

My home is a place where we live and the only time when it looks completely sorted and clean is either directly after cleaning or when we are not there. That’s real life.

Back to the topic – I would love to write on this blog daily, I would love to be here more frequently and share what’s on my mind, but at the moment my life has other priorities, the main is 22 months old and doesn’t like it at all when mommy is sitting on the desk.

If you go back to my first posts here you see that this blog is my life, it needs to adapt to the needs and I’m happy to adapt to my child’s needs so that’s what we are.

A little family with a blogging mom, a growing child, a husband and dad without whom I would not have this time even, and a life we three love like crazy.

I hope you stay even if you don’t see new posts every week. Be sure there will be another one – soon – when there is a tiny time slot for me to start writing.

Until then take care, kiss your loved ones and embrace the mess in your life because that’s what is most important!

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Pregnant through the Tuscany – part II

Pregnant through the Tuscany – part II

As I wrote in part one – these holidays would be the best before a new chapter in our life would start.

Ok, the start of these holidays were mainly food and toilets.

I love to eat, I always did, but pregnant I was eating more and was craving fresh and healthy food (mainly) so not the typical pregnancy cravings but the healthier version of them. Especially breakfast, I love breakfast.

Italian Breakfast

Fresh fruit daily, without would have been a nightmare, so it was great that Marzia’s father had his daily walk over the farm and that he stopped by to give us some fresh peaches out of their garden for the bambini.

My daily breakfast was greek yogurt with peaches and while writing about it I could just eat it again although I’m not pregnant.

Greek Yoghurt with Peaches

In Siena we sat on the Piazza del Campo the year before eating Pizza out of the box, just enjoying the sunshine and watching people. This year I preferred the Caprese Con Mozzarella Di Bufala.

Caprese Con Mozzarella Di Bufala

There was lots of food this year but honestly, what would Italy be without food, still nice but something would be wrong. They have so much wonderful food that not eating would be a shame. Besides I had to eat for two now, hadn’t I 😉

I mentioned toilets earlier but don’t worry, all I ate stayed with me, I just had the wonderful pregnancy urge to go to the toilet felt every half an hour. That’s not a big thing when you are at home but it can be really annoying when you are in cities or sometimes even villages and you have to find public (eeewww) toilets. My best friend was a disinfection spray in my bag and wet tissues.

My baby was so wonderful, growing inside of me without bothering me with pregnancy sickness, heartburn, nausea or other pregnancy signs. OK, I had a bit a bloated belly but hey, I had nothing to hide, it looked even a bit like a baby bump.

Baby bump or bloated

It looks even more than a baby bump and not just bloated when you place your hand on your belly 😉

My husband was the happiest daddy-to-be you can even imagine. Our mood was really great and we are often fighting for nothing, two stubborn minds, but during these holidays I cannot remember that we had lots of senseless fights about who bought the wrong water or other life-changing topics.

Parents-to-be seem to be full of oxytocin.

Parents to be

I love stunning views and could sit and look at them for hours just thinking nothing, during these holidays I was loving to sit and just watch the ocean, breathing in the salty air and thinking if our baby would realize the change from Munich to Italy, thoughts what he or she feels, tastes, do embryos taste even at that early stage?

Sunset

Hours could pass like that without me being impatient or bored.

As I’m a bookworm I surely took a book with me to the beach but I think I read if at all the introduction page and the remaining time my thoughts were everywhere but focused on that book.

Book Beach

What I was reading at night was Deepak Chopra’s “Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives: A Holistic Guide to Pregnancy” and I can recommend that to every pregnant woman. I loved it!

We had not only our wedding anniversary but also my husband’s birthday while we were in Italy and I always wanted to visit the archaeological site of Pompeii since I heard the story during my Latin’s lessons in school.

If not this time when then? That surely wouldn’t be something with a baby or toddler so the next years not on our list.

Wedding anniversary in Pompeii, the biggest catastrophe you can imagine not only for couples but for whole families – thanks that we both don’t believe in bad luck or better said will always find the opposite if something is bad.

More about Pompeii in part three – the little embryo is already 13 months old and needs my attention now. I hope you stay with me.

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Train yourself to let go…

Train yourself to let go...

Train yourself to let go…

…of pictures on how others think you should be – focus on how you want to be.

…of the feeling that you need to be perfect – being imperfect is authentic.

…of the past which was hunting you far too long – life is going on now.

…of the aim of being better than everyone around you – you are better than you probably think.

...of thoughts of how something could be – live the moment.

…of stress, as life is too short to be permanently stressed, enjoy as much as you can.

…of anger, take it as something you cannot change or try to change it.

…of frustration, every frustration bears a hint on how to do it better the next time. Take it as a lesson learned.

…of bitterness because it makes you lonely.

…of jealousy as things are meant to be, if the time is right you will see that there was no reason for being jealous.

…of mistrust as it will make your life easier. If you have reasons for mistrust kick these persons out of your life, they don’t belong there.

…of envy as you are the person with the reins in your hands on how your life should be, if you don’t like it try to change it.

If you want to read more about it I can recommend this blog:

Letting Go: How to Master the Art

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The life of my dreams – how would it be?

The life of my dreams – how would it be?

I think this is one of the questions many ask themselves, how would it be?
Do I want to be rich, do I want to be kind of perfect, do I want a big career, or just a tiny house and lots of children?
If I should answer this question for myself my life would be like that:
First of all I keep my husband in my life, I think that’s a good thing if he’s reading that, and I want him just to stay as he are and I want me to stay the way I am.
To be honest we already have a quite good life, but I would like to make some adjurations.
We need a home!
Not that we’re homeless right now, but a home where we are together most of the time. At the moment he is traveling lots between work and home, so I would dream of less work and more home but with the highest salary.
For my job I would like to switch from a full-time job to a part-time job also with the highest salary and with changing the job itself.
Okay, we are talking about dreaming, wishing how it could be, right?
So we will have a house by the sea in the south of England, obviously completely furnished in our style, including a few amenities like steam bath, Jacuzzi, a mid size garden, enough rooms for us and two kids, as well as one or two guestrooms with bathrooms en suite, a big kitchen and a big living room.
Our second house, yes, I’m not joking, will be exactly like the first one. The style could be a bit more oriental, a few palm trees in the garden and it is built in Libya.
So here we go, to be more realistic I wish Libya to be a calm country where we can spend half of the year while it’s winter in England.
In both houses I dream of having a room for myself with Gardenview where I can sit down quietly to write, to read a book or to start my paintings again.
I dream of less stress in our lives so that we can spend lots of leisure time with our kids and the family.
In between wish – keep all of them healthy and happy for a long, long time!
I wish our bank accounts to be always full with enough money so that we don’t have to worry about things.
I wish to have two kids, and for them I don’t care if it’s a boy and a girl, two boys or two girls, I just want them to be healthy and happy children that are raised in a loving surrounding. So, that they can say one day when they are grown ups, we had a beloved childhood.
I also wish for my husband and me that we stay healthy and are able to see them grow and have children themselves.
If I am dreaming on we are traveling each year to another destination to discover the world.
One of my personal dreams would be also that I am able at one point in time to send a book written by myself to many publishers just to see if I am able to write from a publishers point of view.
A wider view for sure would include a healthy environment, less poverty and a reduction of all the bad things in this world which are so present and which we see daily in the newspapers – no more wars, people living in peace, etc., but I’m not sure if I can heal the world in my dream.
I mainly dream about my small family circle as these are the most important persons for me. Nevertheless I could imagine as well that I don’t just travel to the nicest spots of this world but also see where is need to help. I don’t mean financial help as I haven’t dreamed of the super super lottery jackpot but to maybe volunteer in some well picked help organizations from time to time.
I’m not that selfish and when it comes to my future kids I want them to know that not everyone has lots of luck.
But back to my dream, I exclude parts like which type of car I want to drive as cars are there to get me from A to B, so not too much luxury needed. As long as the motor works in the morning and it’s a safe car I’m happy.
I wish for inner peace, this is something personal as well and I think I will never stop worrying, but to have an inner peace calming me down would be nice.
I wish I could learn it a bit from my husband, he seems often more relaxed than I.

What else do I wish for? Honestly, nothing, as when these dreams would come true I would be happy. Happy like a general happiness. There will always be dreams and wishes and they will change throughout the years but from my current point in life this would exactly be it.

What are you dreaming of?

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If religion seems to be a must

If religion seems to be a must

If religion seems to be a must

Which religion do you have?
I can say confidently “none”, as it is the truth.


How is that? Don’t most of us have a religion by birth?
Yes, probably many have. I had one as well but I have chosen the non-religious way.
And non-religious doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in something.
There will always be this “how to be good” thing within me.
There are times when I have the feeling as if I’m devilish, as if the devil is within me, just because I’m not written to religion.
True, my passport doesn’t contain that I am a Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist or whatever religion we may have on this world. And?


Am I a less valued person because of that?
I never killed, I never cheated on someone, I never have stolen something, isn’t that proof enough that I’m not the devil?
The struggle for me is that I will find something good in each and every religion on this world and that I will on the other hand find many bad things also in each and every religion on this
world. So what would be the correct answer?

I’m a Christian but I don’t like the institutional church, I’m a muslim but I don’t like the pressure to pray five times per day or the women suppression in some countries, I’m a Jew but I don’t like to eat kosher or I’m a Buddhist but love to eat beef?


To be religious you’re supposed to have one religion, that’s my problem.
I haven’t found the ONE religion yet and I’m not searching actually for the ONE.
Okay, you should never say never, I agree on that. Maybe one day my eyes will light up and then there is the one religion for me and I know exactly this is my thing.

But honestly, up to the day, if it may ever happen, who knows, I will stay like I am.
Wouldn’t that be a big lie, even worse than that, in a religious meaning, to say now I’m a Christian although I’m not totally convinced and I’m not standing 100% behind it?
When I was a baby I got the christening which means I’m Christian because I got it but that wasn’t my choice. I grew older and I have chosen not to be a Christian anymore, I have chosen not to pay for an institution which is from my point of view not what I expect.

I truly believe in so many things, just see my name “faith”, I believe in faith, I truly believe that there is something called destiny, things that are meant to be, I believe in trust, in honesty, I vowed to my husband that I will be there for him in good times and in bad times, I can say sorry if I know I did something wrong, I am thankful for the life I have, thankful for the people surrounding me, I believe in hope and sometimes in little wonders, isn’t that enough?
And yes, I’m against so many things, there shouldn’t be hate and war and people killing each other, but all this does not count as religion.
Do I not have the right to find my own path, my own way of life? As long as I am not harming anyone I think I have this right!
I believe in love!!!

Why this topic? I can explain it to you.
I’m married and my husband is a Muslim. This is not a problem at all for me or for him. As long as we love each other there is no need to fight about something. He lives his religion and it is going along perfectly with my way of living. We made some compromises like no pork in the fridge, no alcohol in our flat and so on. Why do authorities think they have the right to interfere? After the wedding we’ve got our German family book. So the next thing to apply for was the Libyan family book. And here we go where the struggle starts.
To accept me as his wife they want the certificate of my religion. I’m honestly angry, i’m legally his wife, I carry his name and they start to treat me as if I am nothing.
The story has not yet an end, let’s see how we will manage it.

Meanwhile the story had an end – they accepted my christening certificate, that seemed to be sufficient. If that’s correct stands on a different paper.

Bein stamped doesn’t make any sense for me at all, especially not when you look back in history or just open your eyes in the now. Crimes in the name of a religion. It will never be the religion itself but the people who interpret as they wish. The people who stamp themselves as belonging to a religion although from my perspective they aren’t religious, they abuse the religion for their evil and cruel actions.

I don’t want to get a stamp rather than human, because that’s what I am.

Being religious vs being spiritual – I choose spiritual as it feels more like me.

If religion seems to be a must Click To Tweet
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Writing – passion or possession?

Writing – passion or possession?

And what about my day job…

Since I joined wordpress and imported everything I wrote before, this page is getting me back to what I thought blogging is in first place.
Even more to be honest, it’s really the best platform for me to do what I want to do around my blog.
And here it starts, now that I get more and more into it I want to spend more time with my writing passion – the problem is that I have a day job which consumes lots of my time and sometimes doesn’t leave much for enjoying my writing.
What’s dragging me to the blog – several reasons if I listen carefully to my heart.
It’s not only that I love to write and to pin all ideas down, it’s also kind of thrilling when I see likes coming in or persons start to follow.
Follow me!
Who am I that persons click the follow button?
Is it really interesting what I do on this blog or is it just me, thinking that I may improve now in writing?
Are they following because it’s a bad example on “how not to start a blog” or do they understand what I mean?
If I would write now that it is for sure that I am good and that’s the reason for people following me, the great thinker and writer, it would be insane.
I really think sometimes I’m getting insane, but vice versa.
From the bottom of my heart I believe that I’m not the dumbest person alive, I was always interested in many things with a certain kind of intelligence to understand them properly. Literature is accompanying me since I read the first word. A life without books is impossible for me, it’s like the air we need to breathe.
But there are times when I start feeling insecure. Am I really good enough? There are so many blogs, why should mine be the one dragging people to it?
Isn’t my layout too easy, shouldn’t there be more features included, but in the end I find back to myself and back to the reason why I have started.
I want to write, purely and simply write. So why to have the most stylish layout if the main focus should lay on what I write?
To be honest, I don’t want to spend hours on trying a light green background with purple dots or a sidebar with pop ups and polls as I see more purpose in using the time to write new posts.
Yet it is another kind of life story what I’m doing here. My life story, sometimes mixed with fiction, sometimes pure reality, and sometimes just things I love and adore.
But if I see how I am, then it’s not yet another life story as I’m the kind of person who loves to listen or read from someone else’s life. Not because I’m a stalker or jealous on how others go along, no, just because I think that each life is unique and each story can fulfill needs.
What needs?
There are the ones, which can amuse us, or make us cry, the ones that raise awareness and let us realize that we should be thankful for what we have, the ones which are similar to ours and which may show us another way when we feel to be on the one way road. And still there are so many stories out there which should be written but can’t as not everyone is in the wonderful position of being able to write, read or having a computer and electricity.
I hope you see the point, this is why I am writing.
I wouldn’t call it a possession although I realize since I’m here that life is so much more than working – where is my way, is it really to work through the day and write through the night?
Is my passion to have a lack of sleep because I need both?
I think I’m on my way and this is indeed something good already. I’m curious to see where this way will lead to but it would be far too early to know now. Another story which still needs to be written, one day, when I may found out the purpose of this passion possession.
What was your first intention when you started to blog?

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Half way gone again

Half way gone again

Since we are married, which is two months now, we spent half of the time together.
Half, this word is present in my/our life.
My husband is my second half, and we are again half way gone until I can close my arms around him and feel complete.
It’s strange, one half on the African and one on the European continent. We never feel complete during the times we are apart. But we are feeling home where ever we are as long as we are together.
Each time it cuts like a knife when we have to say good bye, we know that a part of our life’s will be far away for several weeks. No opportunities to hold hands, to snuggle up when being tired. Endless nights spent alone and many things more. Even the grocery shopping makes much more fun when being together, it’s ridiculous but it’s true.
Inshallah, half way gone again, beginning of Dec we can enjoy the complete life once again.

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My window into a new life

My window into a new life

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You see the window on this picture, that’s “my” window, it was taken while we were on our first holidays on Cyprus.
My husband gave me the sight back – I was blind, blind in regards to life.
Too many struggles, never ending thoughts, resignation, running in circles, I simply lost the view towards my own future. Life was mainly dark and silent and then he stepped all of a sudden into my life and was so optimistic.
Life is not easy but we should live it as whatever is meant to happen will happen – his faith. We are both faithful persons but in complete different meanings.
What counts is the outcome – being able to love yourself, listen to your heart, trust others, look forward instead of living in the past.

The past is not our life anymore so we need to let it go.

This window is special as it was in an old castle and the way up scared me, always the abyss in sight and for me far too close to the car.
He reassured me, nothing will happen.
He was wrong – something happened – within me!

I trusted because he was confident to take us up there safe.
I looked forward to discover the ruins.
I enjoyed this amazing view with his arms around me, safe and sheltered.
And most important – I was absolutely sure that this view will change my life, this view we enjoyed together, the old ruins we discovered but then left behind like our past.

Sometimes you need to fall, but there will always be one person helping you getting back on track if you struggle and are scared of making it on your own.
I was on the edge of my own darkness, I crawled up slowly throughout the year before these holidays and I have to thank him for dragging me out there before I may fall in again.
This last piece of the way was what stopped me. Maybe because I had no aim to walk towards to.
Love is a great power in both ways, the good and the bad.
Today I can say I found the good, the one that is real and the one where you are loved just the way you are.

 

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Could writing be my destiny?

Could writing be my destiny?
Sometimes I’m thinking if I could be able to make a living out of writing, if I’m able to set up a plot in a direction that others like to read it. The main problem currently is that I have no idea when and where to start. There are stories popping up out of my fantasy and vanish as I haven’t the time to sit down in this very moment to get them on paper.
And what about all the thousands of rules authors should keep in mind? If you start to google it will bring you even more away from the initial idea as it seems to be so complicated. On the other hand I cannot imagine that all the big authors were sitting in front of their drafts to check them for rules. Isn’t the miracle to pin down what your fantasy is telling you? Sure there are re-reads and corrections needed but is that the most important?
On the other hand the main problem is to find the time besides a full-time job and a relationship. I cannot start to write during working hours and my husband would be annoyed and think I have a big spleen if I would focus the remaining time on writing instead of a couples life.
A never ending circle where I have to find a way to break through.
The first step for me at the moment is my writing here. This is at least a good opportunity to check for myself if there are persons outside of my comfort zone which may like to read what I write. And even this is not as easy as I thought.
How many blogs do we have on the web? I never started to count as this would be a 24/7 job for the next weeks. It seems as if I’m not the only one trying my writing skills in front of an audience. A blog needs to be cared about and to be updated, improved, adapted and so many things more. Also a permanent audience is something you need to work on. No one will just step over my personal blog and think I’m the greatest writer ever without me feeding him or her with new stories. Stories are the next key point. Which stories exactly meet the audience I would like to see for myself, this is again a key to find out and needs efforts from my side. So bottom line, where am I now after around seventy published posts?
Yes, right away at the start. The time where I discover day by day a writing style, how to find post ideas and discover what I like to write about.
One thing I learned already for myself is that the story of Miss Faith is a life story where not everything is fitting which is randomly popping up on my mind. So there will be posts in between, all my random thoughts about different aspects in life, pictures I love or quotes which inspire me.
Is that all? Again a surely said no. I need to find ways to distribute what I’m writing, means different channels to get a bigger audience. For the time being I started with this account and connected it to google+ and twitter. Next step is to create a Facebook page for Miss Faith. This task is a big challenge, at least for me. Why is that? As it will be another story to tell stay tuned, there will be a post about my struggles while creating it soon.
Last key, and here I need you, are comments on my posts. I would love to get some feedback on everything. Everything means do you like how I write, the topics I’m writing about, how this blog is set up, what do you think in general about “Miss Faith”? I don’t want to be pampered, if you dislike it please tell me also as this is the only opportunity for me to improve.
Thanks and take care,
Yours Miss Faith