Every year we start again…

Every year we start again…

…and write down new year’s resolutions, we think what we could do better than last year, what we could change, what was good and what wasn’t a masterpiece at all.

And every year I am wondering why we are doing it…

I never set new years resolutions for myself – the typical ones are to eat less sweets, stop smoking, loosing weight, etc. and I have seen to often that all those weren’t met anyway.

Are we too weak or do people just set the wrong goals? I believe it’s the later.

When I want to reach a goal it doesn’t matter if I write it down on 31st Dec or on any other day. If I want it desperately then I will work on it.

If I don’t want it desperately, then no date will help me to reach it and that’s why so many great resolutions never become real.

Why don’t we change this habit to reflect each day on where we are and what we want. This is a routine with more depth than a once-per-year kind of deep thought. I take a certain time just for myself and reflect the past 24 hours.

  • Am I happy?
  • What was good today?
  • What was not so could and how can I change it?
  • What’s my plan for the next days?
  • Do I need something that can help me?
  • Am I treating myself with love?

There are so many questions I can ask myself at the end of the day or in the morning of a new day – these are just a few examples.

Life is complicated enough so we should not start to make it more complicated with setting goals we are not able to reach, this is just frustrating and will bring us down. What we need are things that lift us up, goals which are realistic, people who support us, dreams to catch…

I miss my Yoga and instead of writing down that I want to take 15 min. per day to do some Yoga I stand up and do some sun salutations right here and right now. I can write in my journal “8 sun salutations” and that feels good!

Yesterday I wrote on Instagram the following: Be simply happy is often the most complicated

This sentence has so much to say and but is also so simple to follow. It’s saying nothing more than be simple and live now! We tend to over-do, over-plan, over-think, over-write, over-talk instead of doing what we want to do.

I am one of them, I’m maybe the best worst example for that because I over-think literally EVERYTHING. I try to reach a perfection instead of just taking the moment and that all with knowing very well that nothing is perfect and that imperfection is even more interesting than something that seems to be perfect. I struggle as we all struggle and that’s why it is even more important to remind me and all that we are not here to be perfect.

We should be happy, we should love and smile and enjoy and treat us well.

At the end of our life nobody will remember the perfect house, the neat clothes, the combed hair, the clean windows or the success at work. At the end all that counts are all those imperfect happy moments we spent.

Instead of running after imaginary goals start and live now!

Stand up wherever you are right now, look up, breathe, reach your arms up high and embrace all the beauty around you. This life is wonderful if we let it be…

<3

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Please BE Yourself

Please BE Yourself

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I start to go mad more and more – as a mom and as a woman and as a human – why the heck do people tend to be pretenders?

I mean, seriously, there are tons of face filters in social media nowadays and yes, it’s sometimes fun, but as soon as someone is not seeing it like a fun gimmick anymore but seriously thinks that we need them it’s weird.

Where are the real sunsets, where are the real wrinkles after long nights, where are the real bad hair days, where are the real people?

I’m afraid to meet people I know only from their social accounts as I would expect flowers in their hair or ears from dogs on their head (how weird is that in between?). If the face has no softener applied, would I even recognize them in real life?

Also, the #eathealthy hash taggers, would I recognize you sitting in the fast food restaurant with a huge burger in your hand?

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And I can confess that under the apples there is a drawer full of chocolate – this is what life is about! The balance! I don’t have make-up applied, just a filter – why? Besides , I’m not even perfect at using these filter things as my hair still stands up on both sides and I cannot help it 🙂

Are there yogis with picture where they just are normal standing without striking a pose?

I’m happy there are! But I’m not happy that these are still a minority.

There’s a trend now to go back to more reality because life isn’t perfect – there are lots of perfect moments but the majority of them went by too fast to even take a picture and that’s good – only then we start to realize the importance of those moments.

But even for the hashtags #reallife or #morerealityon… I see thousand of pictures where I ask myself where the reality is visible.

I said I’m mad and I can tell you why – we are adults, we are leaders, we are teachers, we set expectations and if we keep it like it is we will have generations of insecure people who never feel good enough in everything they are doing. They feel ugly because their face isn’t lit up by a virtual rainbow in the morning, they feel incapable because their so delicious meal doesn’t look delicious at all regardless from which ankle they try to make that picture, they feel boring because they don’t have each day five really exciting pictures to post.

Do we want the next generations to be like that? Do we want to teach our children that life happens in these devices?

NO – I don’t want this!

I absolutely love my online, virtual communities, but I want to see a shift there, I want to see what’s really going on.

Nobody needs to pour their heart out in public, unless you want to, but can we stick to what is instead of what I want it to be?

I’m tired, my hair isn’t perfect, I look pale due to a lack of sleep, but my eyes shine when I see my son learning something new. These moments are visible if you focus on what counts – no judging but loving.

I slowly get back to my yoga – one step at a time, sometimes two steps back, yes, that’s real! I would love to send each day a great yoga pose out on Instagram to impress, but that’s simply not me. I struggle to hold the crow that I could so perfectly two years ago. I will never go into a headstand (or at least I feel as if I will never manage that right now!). This NOW is my reality but that doesn’t mean that my NOW is not enough, not worthy, not something I like.

We all have phases where we accomplish more and phases where we are adjusting and phases where we are still and where we are loud, phases where we are beyond happy and phases where we are depressed – ALL of this is us and that’s PERFECT!!!

Be real – do it for your own sanity, do it to show others that this life is not a fairy-tale and that it’s OK to be … (however you feel right now)!

Rant over – enjoy this beautiful life and embrace every moment!

If you like – follow me on Instagram and let’s create a #BeREAL community which is uplifting and empowering! See you there 🙂

 

 

Can you please grow old with grace?

Can you please grow old with grace?

I have the feeling as if the world around me is getting more and more insane.
As soon as I open the web, a magazine, the TV and sometimes even the front door I see false faces.
Who ever made a law that women past 30 aren’t allowed anymore to have small wrinkles around their eyes or normal lips?
What I’m wondering is, do they like what they find each morning in their mirror?
Questions which are answered with “No, I just drink lots of water and eat healthy, there was nothing done to my face, honestly!” – sure, and I’m living on the moon.

I don’t like to drink plain water but therefore lots of different teas and yes, also the scary brownish fluid called coffee, may this be the reason for the wrinkles around my eyes? Definitely no! I live and I love and I laugh!!!
I fortunately get older each year. Oh, and I mean each year, I’m not celebrating my 29th birthday for the sixth time in a row.
Don’t get me wrong, I love to look beautiful and I’m almost addicted when it comes to new creams, oils, etc. (mmhh, I’m lazy with eye cream) but if I see needles or even surgery knifes near to a face I run as fast as I can. I’m a coward, I know. These surgeries for sure don’t hurt. It’s just like buying new shoes, isn’t it?
The cruel part is that you can get the idea of “easy done” when you see all these perfect faces (which in reality remind me of the rocky horror picture show).
Aren’t they scared of mistakes, reactions to narcotics, a loose hand of a surgeon who worked 48 hrs in a row? I would be and in the same way I would be scared of the result.
Will I be able to recognize myself afterwards or do I look like a brand new person?

Thanks, that I don’t have to answer as I won’t do something to my face but I’m sure I would miss the stories it’s telling. My husband has many expressions of my face he loves (tired, laughing loudly, looking scared) and some he dislikes (no, I never look at him in an angry way even if he’s saying so…).
Just imagine what a loss it would be when I turn up with a stiff face – no movement visible.
And lips is also a topic which is scaring me. If the whole face seems to be just lips and more important, their sensitivity. Lips belong to the most sensitive parts of a human and it’s just taken to have one rubber hose above another? Isn’t that insane?
Not to mention want can be done besides the face…sitting has to be hard for some for a couple of weeks when the inlays are new.

Why are woman doing that?!?

There is always a ‘behind the scenes’ and I would say it’s first of all a big lack of self confidence. Whatever this comes from, a deep look into oneself would be better than trying to hide insecurities or scars behind a mask.

Other reasons could be to follow the crowd, like in childhood – eeeeeveryone has this, mummy, I neeeeed that too!!!! I’m happily swimming against the crowd then.

Or to get closer to ideal faces you find in commercials as the for sure NEVER went through photoshop!!! Just check some Facebook profiles from teenager, they already know with Instagram and several other apps how to look as if they just turned twenty five with no spots on their skin and sleek hair. The problem is just that you won’t recognize them in real life.

Could men be a reason? I’m not entirely sure about men – there are men who love these masks but hopefully the majority still loves real beauty.

But the main point is, for whom am I doing something and for me it’s in first place myself. Sure I like to be pretty for my husband but if I ask him he states, I love you how you are, if you just stood up in the morning or put make up for whatever, it’s you.
That’s one of the most important points.
You can do as much as you want but beauty means more than the face, it means attitude, authenticity, charisma, radiation, aura, inner feelings and so on – all these will shop up on your face and in your eyes.
The majority of these lifted, unreal, I-want-to-be-perfect women have one thing in common – dead eyes. What I mean is their eyes are blank, emotionless, the sparkle is missing and they do not glow.

For sure these are all extremes and to be natural, authentic and real doesn’t mean that we can’t use a bit of make up, of course we can, we are women. I like that as well to underline, but what we should not to is trying to paint something new onto something old or vice versa. It will never work.
Do they think about the coming years? How will it look like in ten years, will they look like a hobbit with hanging ears? Or will they have monthly appointments to stretch the skin again a bit more and fix it behind their hanging ears?
I cannot imagine that we won’t have cute grand moms anymore in a couple of years, that’s a big loss!
The perfect women society – teenager look as if they are twenty nine as well as their moms and grand moms?
I don’t want to join this society!

I was thinking about before/after pictures but I decided against as I’m sure everyone knows instantly what I mean (if not, then this post may not be for you ;-))
Instead of horror pictures I reveal my first wrinkles (please ignore the mascara spread below but fortunately I’m not the photoshop master).
It may be a horror picture for the addicted ones, for me it’s my life and it looks as if I had good laughs and I plan to have them in the future as well!

Stay real!!!

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Fighting my perfectionism

Fighting my perfectionism
I’m cleaning up my life.
Trying to get rid of old habits is not as easy as getting rid of old stuff.
I cannot sell my bad habits on eBay.
Who wants a piece of my perfectionism?
Maybe some people would say directly yes if they don’t have it all. But if it would be so easy…it wouldn’t change me. It’s something you have to work on.
If I ask friends or tell them what I don’t like in me it’s common that they don’t understand it at all.
For them my life is near to be perfect.
But who wants to be perfect?
At least not me – it’s more an insult than a compliment for me.
So the first step is, what is my perfectionism in detail, splitting it into its various details.
These are only a few examples. If I list each single item I could write a book of thousand pages.
Just a small example on how things influence us and if we become aware it’s the first step of changing them.

Cleaning – I cannot sit quietly and read something or relax if I have the feeling that my flat needs some cleaning.
Problem: it’s only me seeing the dust on the cupboard, water drops on the mirror or dirt in the corner behind my couch, people who visit me just see a complete clean flat.

Solution so far: I started now to set rules for my weekends.
Weekends are cleaning free days from now on. For sure I’m not keeping it too harsh but I try my best to remind myself if I want to start a “cleaning-action”. Just sit on the carpet and read a book or start a meditation and even if I see the dust on the TV, just leave it. I could clean it later or during the week. There will always be something not perfect, as I’m living here, it’s not a sterile area, it’s my home.

Work – having the complete overview. Being aware of every step my staff is doing and detecting the need of additional work or problem solving directly before anyone is considering it.
Problem: I have no twenty-four hour days and even if it’s not my task. Sure I want to deliver quality but the first thing to learn is to trust others that they are doing their jobs and second is to delegate. Delegate with checking it again in depths afterwards, I could have done it myself if I feel the need to check it.

Solution so far: Letting go and trusting, that’s on my to do list for work.
I work with professionals so why don’t trust. I started to let go at least a bit and one of the results is that I’m really stop working after my contracted working hours. And not as before with a bad feeling as still so many things need to be done. No, with the feeling, that things are fine and my leisure time can start. I’m not feeling as exhausted as I felt weeks before. Just get some time for yourself to be with yourself, friends and live. Work life shouldn’t be the major part of your life. We work to live, not we live to work!

Look – everything is fitting, the nail polish is chosen to meet the colour of my shoes, belt, handbag, my shape is completely underlined by the clothes I’m wearing. My hair is shiny and perfect but should look a bit undone, not too perfect. No spots in my face or lipstick on my teeth. Skin needs to be slightly tanned.
Problem: No one is perfect and no one is looking like women in magazines – and I know that, there’s no photoshop in real life and it’s good that we are all unique beings, so why am I like this?
I have to relax!
All these small things bothering me are not realized by anyone around me. It’s just my mind pushing me into this direction. Simply be and don’t think too much.

Solution so far: I tried it with tiny steps.
Hair undone and I go for shopping, once you realize that no one is looking in a strange way at you, you become more confident with yourself. Only because the nail polish is not matching the rest of your style doesn’t make you a person which looks weird or strange. The truth is nobody is realizing but you. Instead of needing at least fifteen minutes before leaving the flat I go out now without checking and re-checking. A more relaxed way and also something others will like in you. You aren’t the one to wait for any longer.

Others – what may they think about me and my life?
Problem: fortunately no problem.
Solution: I changed already and not recently, no, years ago. When you are young you think about what others think of you. You try to adapt just to fit into the picture others want to have of you. It’s not like this in life. I grew into myself which means whatever decision I made, I made it for my life. So don’t care what others think. It’s your life and you should be happy. It doesn’t mean that you deny other opinions, no, as they are essential, you just judge for yourself if you follow them, took parts out of them into your life or just ignore them totally. For sure I care about what my loved ones think, but this a small holy circle in my life and they don’t expect me to be perfect or to be like they want me to be. They take me as I am. For the rest: I really don’t care what they think.

And again my motto is matching a blog post – keep the faith in you and you are fine.