A day in the life of a working mum…

 

A day in the life of a working mum…without childcare

toddler at home

Let me show you a typical working day with a toddler at home.

8.00 am – 9.30 am – I actually work

9.30 am – the toddler wakes up

Washing him and changing diapers, breastfeeding, carrying him, sitting and rocking , playing, emptying the dishwasher, starting the washing machine, feed him, playing, answering the phone, breastfeed again, dressing him, reading mails in between, answering IMs from colleagues…

…and all of a sudden it’s 11.45 am.

He yawns.

So off to the bed, breastfeeding until he drifts off into sleep.

12.01 pm conference call

12.25 pm – the toddler (who found out recently how to leave the family bed on his own) taps into the room (seriously, only half an hour where I hoped for at least triple that time to get work done).

Breastfeeding number 4 – he still doesn’t want to eat, I tried.

I shift clothes from the washing machine into the dryer, make soap bubbles to entertain my son and try to answer some emails in between.

12.45 pm – I feel like a cow as he’s sitting on my lap latched again – number 5 for today and no end in sight. I truly love it but when you work you wish that he just eats his bread, yogurt, fruit, instead of occupying me every minute of the day (although he has the right for sure).

1.00 pm – my husband is home so that I can finally work properly at least for a while.

1.30 pm – I cooked pasta for my son with the end result that he ate exactly two while I ate the salad from yesterday evening.

It’s now 2.00 pm – I have a conference call soon that needs preparation (at 3.30 pm) and my lovely toddler sits on the floor beside me, makes noises with a paper box and yawns.

At least I can answer emails again – the sound would have disturbed me a year ago but hey, you’re getting used to focus even when it’s completely noisy around you.

2:30 pm – he ate a few bites of bread and the last was spit well chewed on the floor, and not on the wooden part, no, on the carpet so that I need to clean it with more efforts than on the wooden floor. Still no sign of being ready to sleep, I know after 14 months when it makes sense to lay down with him and when not. In his current mood we would spend an hour in the bed and he wouldn’t sleep so I let him play with the hope that he is soon really tired.

3.00 pm – less than 30 min left until my conference call and my toddler isn’t tired at all – the only option will be that he stays with his dad.

3:29 pm and he’s ‘talking’ loudly with his dad in the bedroom – I have a toddler resistant to sleep on some days. He will sleep, exactly then when we would like to go outside and do some grocery shopping.

Just happy that it’s Friday and this work week is almost over.

4.00 pm – he seems to sleep as I don’t hear anything but I can’t check as I need to jump from one conference call into the next, fortunately the last for today.

For this call I only need to listen so I can start to think about what to cook for dinner today and what we need to buy before shops are closing.

5.30 pm – I’m stuck in that call longer than expected and meanwhile all are awake again so I’m sitting on my desk with a muted headset, my son is running around and wondering what mommy is doing, breastfeeding number 6 for today (I’m not sure if I missed some already as it’s so normal these days) and I’m annoyed because I would give everything to just throw the laptop and enjoy the time with my family. But this job is paying lots what we love in our life and quitting is not an option, besides it is a great job at many times but just now I wish I would be a millionaire not caring for such things as conference calls.

Am I the only one or are other working moms also feel guilty not to be there 100% for their children. I’m apologizing so often to him although he won’t understand a word I’m saying that I still need to do this or that before we can play.

It’ll be past 6.00 pm when I finally am off work and then the private stress will start – what do we really need today, is there something that can’t wait until tomorrow? Cooking dinner is hanging like the Damocles sword above me because I long to have a bit time for NOTHING. No thinking, no you need to, you have to, have you already or when will you – just a quiet hour to recharge but that won’t happen until my son sleeps which recently is rarely before midnight.

I send this post now, unfinished, as the rest of the day until I will fall into my bed (or better until I try to go to my side of the bed without waking him up) I won’t find the time anymore. If I don’t send it now it may sit in my drafts for the next weeks.

That’s motherhood, a day of a working mom without childcare, a crazy day with a toddler, that’s my life and even if it is often beyond exhausting I would NEVER EVER change it back.

Stay strong – we are strong!

And stay away of the thought to be perfect, nobody needs to be perfect! My messy hair will be in a bun in 5 minutes to leave the house and if you look around then you will see many imperfections, so no worries. Most important now is a happy toddler and that’s why I’m off into the weekend now. Bye

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Are you jealous?!?

Are you jealous?!?

Are you jealous_!_

Do you know the feeling of being jealous?
I do not mean being jealous because there is someone near to your loved one.
No, what I mean is being jealous about what others have.
Are you sometimes envious when you see that others have something you may have not?
I’m not a jealous person in general and in most cases I’m just happy for the others when they have something I don’t have.
Sometimes because I don’t want to have it, sometimes because I already have it or sometimes because I’m not interested in it at all.

But there are these days…
These evil days when I see for instance a couple walking hand in hand on a nice autumn day, their feet kicking leaves and both are laughing and seem to be totally happy.
These are the days when I start to be jealous as I don’t have it right now.
Take for instance supermarkets on Saturdays.
I truly hate to go there on a Saturday afternoon! I’m surrounded by couples and for sure I don’t know their story or something about them, I’m not interested in details as well, but I imagine how it would be when my husband would be there.
All of them may do the grocery shopping for their weekend, cook together in the evening, snuggle up on the couch for a cosy and romantic evening, starting the Sunday with a breakfast in bed but I can’t do all this (and I hate breakfast in bed unless it’s a hotel and I don’t have to care about changing the bed sheets, but if I see them I even want that).
All these stories are just in my mind because I start to hate to be alone.
I’m actually not alone, I have a loving husband and family and and and
BUT I am alone when witnessing these strange mind invented couple stories while just looking at a normal couple and they may even be just best friends, nevertheless they trigger the feeling of lacking something in my life.
Isn’t there a way to schedule opening hours for singles in supermarkets?
And can we adjust these hours during the times when my husband is with me?
Another question would be since when it is allowed to kiss in public?!?
They don’t know what they do to single human beings when celebrating their love in public.
I try hard to ignore it as best as I can and forget for sure completely that I was ever thinking about it as soon as my husband is back in town…
Talking and laughing happily with your spouse while others sit next to you or walk by – be careful, it’s a risk for all, who are alone, to become slightly depressive.

Wouldn’t it be an idea to invent couple restaurants and single restaurants, couple supermarkets and single supermarkets (in this case really worth a second thought as I don’t need family packs just for myself), couple parks and single parks, I would have many ideas to be honest.
What to do when I need to stop at a traffic light just after my husband went back to work and the car beside me inherits a couple – separate driveways or dark windows for couple cars may be a solution.

I think I’m desperate to be complete again and can’t wait for my second half to arrive.
Nobody told us that long distance relationships and in our case now a long distance marriage aren’t always easy to handle (indeed it were lots who told us, but we make our own experience!). We are now married for three and a half month and were physically together one month. That could be the explanation for my developed strange thinking, couldn’t it?

Fortunately the countdown started and I promise that I will do all the things which are “annoying” me now throughout his whole stay!!!

Are you jealous?

 

Suggested apps – thanks Facebook!

Suggested apps – thanks Facebook

I’m neither complete dull nor a teenager insecure about my appearance.
And to be honest – if I look at the two pictures – this should be forbidden.
There are so many youngsters out there who have already weird idols and opinions caused mainly by media as I don’t think it should be worsened.
Who on earth is able to recognize them if they stand in front of you?

Stick to what you are, instead of trying to improve pictures it may be a consideration to go out and meet friends, work out, eat healthy, etc…

Nobody is perfect!

(Advise from a grown up 😉)

20131203-154545.jpg

Can you please grow old with grace?

Can you please grow old with grace?

I have the feeling as if the world around me is getting more and more insane.
As soon as I open the web, a magazine, the TV and sometimes even the front door I see false faces.
Who ever made a law that women past 30 aren’t allowed anymore to have small wrinkles around their eyes or normal lips?
What I’m wondering is, do they like what they find each morning in their mirror?
Questions which are answered with “No, I just drink lots of water and eat healthy, there was nothing done to my face, honestly!” – sure, and I’m living on the moon.

I don’t like to drink plain water but therefore lots of different teas and yes, also the scary brownish fluid called coffee, may this be the reason for the wrinkles around my eyes? Definitely no! I live and I love and I laugh!!!
I fortunately get older each year. Oh, and I mean each year, I’m not celebrating my 29th birthday for the sixth time in a row.
Don’t get me wrong, I love to look beautiful and I’m almost addicted when it comes to new creams, oils, etc. (mmhh, I’m lazy with eye cream) but if I see needles or even surgery knifes near to a face I run as fast as I can. I’m a coward, I know. These surgeries for sure don’t hurt. It’s just like buying new shoes, isn’t it?
The cruel part is that you can get the idea of “easy done” when you see all these perfect faces (which in reality remind me of the rocky horror picture show).
Aren’t they scared of mistakes, reactions to narcotics, a loose hand of a surgeon who worked 48 hrs in a row? I would be and in the same way I would be scared of the result.
Will I be able to recognize myself afterwards or do I look like a brand new person?

Thanks, that I don’t have to answer as I won’t do something to my face but I’m sure I would miss the stories it’s telling. My husband has many expressions of my face he loves (tired, laughing loudly, looking scared) and some he dislikes (no, I never look at him in an angry way even if he’s saying so…).
Just imagine what a loss it would be when I turn up with a stiff face – no movement visible.
And lips is also a topic which is scaring me. If the whole face seems to be just lips and more important, their sensitivity. Lips belong to the most sensitive parts of a human and it’s just taken to have one rubber hose above another? Isn’t that insane?
Not to mention want can be done besides the face…sitting has to be hard for some for a couple of weeks when the inlays are new.

Why are woman doing that?!?

There is always a ‘behind the scenes’ and I would say it’s first of all a big lack of self confidence. Whatever this comes from, a deep look into oneself would be better than trying to hide insecurities or scars behind a mask.

Other reasons could be to follow the crowd, like in childhood – eeeeeveryone has this, mummy, I neeeeed that too!!!! I’m happily swimming against the crowd then.

Or to get closer to ideal faces you find in commercials as the for sure NEVER went through photoshop!!! Just check some Facebook profiles from teenager, they already know with Instagram and several other apps how to look as if they just turned twenty five with no spots on their skin and sleek hair. The problem is just that you won’t recognize them in real life.

Could men be a reason? I’m not entirely sure about men – there are men who love these masks but hopefully the majority still loves real beauty.

But the main point is, for whom am I doing something and for me it’s in first place myself. Sure I like to be pretty for my husband but if I ask him he states, I love you how you are, if you just stood up in the morning or put make up for whatever, it’s you.
That’s one of the most important points.
You can do as much as you want but beauty means more than the face, it means attitude, authenticity, charisma, radiation, aura, inner feelings and so on – all these will shop up on your face and in your eyes.
The majority of these lifted, unreal, I-want-to-be-perfect women have one thing in common – dead eyes. What I mean is their eyes are blank, emotionless, the sparkle is missing and they do not glow.

For sure these are all extremes and to be natural, authentic and real doesn’t mean that we can’t use a bit of make up, of course we can, we are women. I like that as well to underline, but what we should not to is trying to paint something new onto something old or vice versa. It will never work.
Do they think about the coming years? How will it look like in ten years, will they look like a hobbit with hanging ears? Or will they have monthly appointments to stretch the skin again a bit more and fix it behind their hanging ears?
I cannot imagine that we won’t have cute grand moms anymore in a couple of years, that’s a big loss!
The perfect women society – teenager look as if they are twenty nine as well as their moms and grand moms?
I don’t want to join this society!

I was thinking about before/after pictures but I decided against as I’m sure everyone knows instantly what I mean (if not, then this post may not be for you ;-))
Instead of horror pictures I reveal my first wrinkles (please ignore the mascara spread below but fortunately I’m not the photoshop master).
It may be a horror picture for the addicted ones, for me it’s my life and it looks as if I had good laughs and I plan to have them in the future as well!

Stay real!!!

20131106-184706.jpg