When in Tuscany…

When in Tuscany…

When in Tuscany

…it is all about old villages, landscapes, chianti and la dolce vita.

This is what people expect when reading about Tuscany. 

Vacation time should then be even more, the above plus some beach relaxation, pool dips and museums.

My “When in Tuscany” differs from year to year…

This year I am sitting on the bed and am writing, besides that I am listening to Deepak Chopra’s “Metahuman”. 

My husband takes care of our son and the dinner we will have soon just needs to be heated up, I cooked it yesterday.

No fancy restaurant with a four-year old, we tried, we won’t try again until maybe next year. It had nothing in common with a relaxed dinner so why to bother about it any longer? Let go of what no longer serves you, I learned this through my yoga and as nothing is permanent (another yoga wisdom) we let go and have dinner “at home” in our own safe space.

We slept really long today and were just hanging around. Playing a bit, started a washing machine (yes, you read correctly, we wash while on vacation and return with suitcases full of clean clothes, it is great), enjoyed the big terrace we have here and we stayed in the shadow because it is HOT. For September it is really much more than we expected. The sun is burning and even though my two men are not that sensitive I am – I just look at the sun and already feel my skin burning.

This year I am putting in half an hour here and there to move forward with my 200 hour yoga teacher training, which literally means learning. Learning while on vacation, some would tell me now that this is not relaxation but believe me, it is. If you love what you do then you will find joy in it and here I am – I love Yoga, I love to write, I love my family. The only little problem is how to make money with the things I love 😉 I will figure this one out later.

When Covid-19 stepped into all of our lives a vacation this summer was far beyond our imagination – so all we do now is being thankful for being here!

Soaking up the tuscan sun before we will return to an autumn kissed Munich later in September is just soothing our souls.

Even though we haven’t been personally affected with an illness due to this pandemic, we have been affected like each and everyone. Stages from not believing what starts there in this world up to being scared of what lays in front of us. It became eventually a new normal and we are lucky to be in a quite good situation money and job wise, but still, this new normal is scary from time to time and leaves us depressed.

Once you tasted what pure freedom means everything scares us when it takes part of this freedom away from us.

And don’t get me wrong please, we are as free as we can be right now and we fully agree on all precautions which have been taken. But even though you know that you for instance need to stay at home for your safety it is different to staying at home just because you would like to spend a day at home doing nothing outside. 

Being here is giving all of us a little rest. A new normal is different on vacation and the Italians are doing it really good! Better than some germans to be honest, maybe because they suffered more but instead of complaining they include these new rules and still celebrate life. In Germany we often have the feeling we are trapped between the complete neglect and the over-caution, it still doesn’t feel normal and one of the reasons for me is that it’s treated different wherever you go, but that is another topic.

Back to tuscan life right now. And yes, of course here the Covid-19 topic is as present as everywhere else. Our tuscan life differs not too much from the life in Munich, we just have of course much more ice cream and we cook less. Also the luxury of having a pool in front of your doorstep is definitely a big plus here. Apart from that we decide on a day by day basis what we are going to do.

Last year we stayed at the same place, we enjoyed the pool as well as the beaches nearby and we strolled through every town in driving distance. This year we step back a bit because we avoid crowded places. We have been to so many places we truly love here but we love our health more than taking any risks. Some may ask now why we went if we don’t want to explore the region? Because we know the region and we love it, because we have the possibility and because we’d rather stay around the pool than in our flat in Munich. Because we may go to one city or another…like today when we visited Siena. Much shorter than all the times before but still wonderful as city.

Our son was chasing doves on every piazza we visited, this year he can do the same still but less often.

When we were in the Tuscany and Maremma region before our son was born we enjoyed restaurants, we drank coffee in small bars with great views, we strolled peacefully through cities exploring their wonderful history, now we check for playgrounds and check tripadvisor for things to do with children.

The “When in Tuscany” is our lifeline from a newly married couple to a couple soon to be parents in 2015 to parents of a toddler in 2017.

Today we are parents of a kindergarten child, active beyond words, running still after doves but asking every why-question he can think of and talking non-stop (if not talking then singing). Naps are uncool at four because he is not a baby anymore. He is teaching us life every second and at the end of the day, which can be very long these days, the sweetest words we could hear are: This was an awesome day today, I love to be on vacation, it is fun. This alone is enough to justify that we are here right now.

Truly, even though I try to learn so much spiritually which comes along with becoming a yoga teacher, with shifting priorities, with changes in life in general, my son is one of my greatest teachers.

He shows me that life shouldn’t be complicated.

We make it complicated. Simplicity is often giving us more room to grow than anything else. It sets time free to do something more important. His childhood is our day to day life – we should always listen and shift priorities because his childhood will never return. It has been affected already by this pandemic, he wasn’t able to see his friends or just play freely in his kindergarten and he adapted so wonderful to the new situation. He deserves a lovely childhood more than anything else and we as his parents are the ones to make this happen!

Am I a metahuman? Nope, definitely not yet, but even if I will never be one, that will be OK. We are all OK as we are right now. Striving for success is great but stepping back once in a while to reconnect with who we are is essential!

We will live into the day and enjoy our tuscan time at our pace and after that we will see what comes next. It is pretty sure that this won’t be our last time here (and if it would be for whatever reason we could still say we enjoyed it to the fullest).

Step into your life and be in the present moment, not thinking too much about the past or the future. People forget to live because they are stuck in their past or too busy planning their future. I don’t want to miss the present moments.

Right now next to Deepak reading his book aloud on my phone my son came in with superwings on the iPad asking me for food. My feet are warm because he snuggles up upon them to be close. This moment is precious and I need top now and heat up our dinner because he won’t be that calm much longer 😉

Take care and leave comments if you like these snapshots of my life.

Lao Tzu once said…

Lao Tzu once said…

My son is my life

so many things that I barely know where to start but one thing stayed in my mind, especially now that I am a mom of an almost two-year old who starts to check where his limits are.

A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.

The more you try as a mom to insist the more your child will try to break through. If I sit down with my son and talk with him and try to explain him the world the more he will lose interest and start doing something else.

If I gently guide him towards an experience he can make himself the more he understands and also accepts.

We are all busy and stressed, there are thousands of things during a normal day we have to do but I actively try more and more to put a stop in, for my son and for my own sanity.

I never decided to become a mother to be a leader and have someone who should obey me. I decided to become a mother because giving life is the biggest miracle, because this amount of pure love is something you can not describe. My son is my life and he should not be the victim of my life choices!

Is there something more pure than a child at the beginning of life?

This treasure of innocence is something I don’t want to lose or better written I don’t want to take it away from him (life will do that anyway one day).

His curiosity is something to “work” with. Children are hungry to explore, they understand so much and we should stay in the background as their guardians to protect them on their journey.

So to better understand what I mean, here’s one of a million examples.

My son starts to take the stairs and yes, it takes a lot of time in the beginning! When I need to be fast because we are late the easiest is to pick him up but this causes frustration on his side and to be honest, on my side as well when I see him frustrated. I’m a human being and it won’t always be possible but if he generally is allowed to walk by himself (and I mean by himself without holding my hand) he realizes quite fast that it’s not yet easy for him. He gives his best and is reaching out to me after a couple of stairs he took alone.  He’s the proudest little man when he manages it on his own and it’s his choice to go up and be carried the rest. We both are happy.

There are so many things where we should trust our children – they grow and learn and build their personalities with their own pace and our job is to be there along the way, BE THERE, not chase them, not force them, not expect them to do something because others can do it already, TRUST! Be there and trust your child!

As I’m the mom and by law his legal guardian many consider me to be his authority and yes, I have the responsibility for my son. So if I am the authority in his life then I want to be the gentle one – the one he barely feels, who is meeting him on eye level.

True authority lies in gentleness – this is how we should see it.

My son should one day look back at his childhood and feel a ton of love present along the way, a lot of precious memories, a lot of having fun together, a lot of warmth and lovely shivers when he thinks back to the time we spent together.

We all are human beings which means we all make mistakes, as long as we never lose sight of the big picture, the way we walk side by side, we all are fine.

Sending lots of love <3

 

Toddler on the road or what’s the essence of life


Do you know these families who have a certain area around their home for the first years after a child was born?
"Aurora needs her nap time in her bed."
"Lucas is not sleeping anywhere else."
Or worse, the parents who need the whole children equipment from bottle warmer to rocking chair, the ones who are not able to improvise and stick to their patterns.
We are not like that, neither our child nor we.
We love to travel and the easiest for me ist to travel by car.
You throw all you need inside and off we go.
We spent already lots of time in the car so it's a bit like a second home.
If you don't expect it you'll find a diaper (often when you indeed need it) or jacket which we thought lost.
Yes, it's a bit messy and I admit that we are at the end of October and we still have the beach umbrella in the back and Tuscan sand on the floor, that's us and I love it!
The best of these messy details is that they don't matter, what matters is that we have a big radius around home already and that we know we can go in whatever direction and we are happy.
A travelling toddler who sleeps everywhere is worth the mess.
His seat is based on cookie crumbs and our family is based everywhere.
He sleeps apparently everywhere when he is tired. What he needs is the reassurance that we are around and that he is safe with us.
Everything else doesn't matter, it can be loud or quiet, sunny or dark, crowded or peaceful, when he is tired he grabs our hand or hugs us tight and off to the land of toddlerdreams.
But what about sleeping times and nap times?
We don't have them.
And before someone starts to argue how important steadiness is…we love that we don't have them!
He is 18 months old, he sleeps when he's tired, he eats when he's hungry and we give him the freedom to grow without a strict schedule as much as we can.
Latest with 6 years when he starts school this life is over as he cannot go to school when he likes or stays in bed longer in the morning when he's supposed to be in his class.
What are 6 years compared to a lifetime?
We should cherish these first six years where our kids are mainly free little birds.
The kindergarten (Kita) for kids under three started for us in September and he's doing it great.
He has a nap time there and he's actually napping and he eats when they all eat.
Children are able to adapt quickly and they know which rules apply where so why should we limit his freedom at home?
We are now on our way to my parents and he sleeps in his car seat next to me while I'm writing and my husband drives, this is our on the road life, one glance at it.
Most people tend to make life more complicated than it is. What is really important, especially with children?
Now! Now is all we should focus on. Our children could be our teacher because they know how it works by heart.
BE HERE NOW (look at your child and soak in the love).
At the end of the day WE are important, the core of our beings.
Our travelling toddler is happy, and so are we ♥️ that's the essence of life, isn't it?

Stepping back into childhood

Stepping back into childhood

Stepping back into childhood

I discovered a nice way of getting myself back on track if my life feels like upside down.
What many of us forget is how easy life is through the eyes of a child.

Ok, you can start now arguing that naturally a child’s life is more easy as the parents are responsible for earning the money, taking care, providing the food, paying bills and so on.
But this is not the point I’m thinking about.
The first important point is that you had a beloved childhood, that’s the precondition and here I know that this is not the case for each and everyone…everyone who had such a childhood is blessed already.

If I have the feeling that everything is too much and I cannot cope with all expectations others but also I have for myself on how life should be I take a time out. Take myself back for half an hour, make it cosy on the the couch, in my bed or just lay down on my carpet.

Remember how you were calmed down as a child. There were many ways how your mum or dad said “shush, my love, everything’s alright”. It could be a cup of hot chocolate, just snuggling up and listen to a radio play, music or being read to. What was your favorite? What I did a few weeks ago is I ordered my favorite childhood book. It’s a story about a little scallywag and his friends in the ancient caesarean Rome. Stories about their schooldays, how they make fun of their greek teacher Xanthippos and so on.

I love it. When I sit down and read these stories written for kids it’s taking me back to these days, days when everything was so easy. After ten minutes of reading I’m already more calm and relaxed.

Going back to the roots is sometimes the best way to ground you again, it’s not the story itself or the taste of a hot chocolate, it’s the emotions connected to them, the sense, the values your parents taught you.

I am for my life entirely sure that it was never the expectation or the wish of my parents to see a grown up perfect super woman who’s able to handle each and everything.

No, I’m sure they wanted me to be happy with what I’m doing, to be senseful and caring, honest and just me.

No one wants me to be a super woman and the last one expecting it from me should be myself. For all who may want me to be different, sorry to say that, they don’t deserve to be part of my life. I don’t care for those who aren’t accepting me as I am.

Find a place in your home which is just yours, which is protecting you when being angry, scared, sad or worn out. You should not hide yourself there for days, it’s more that you know where to calm down whatever happens just for a short time to ground you and where you regain your inner peace.

It may also be a ritual instead of a place or a combination of both but I think honestly that we need something to ease us in this rushing world.
Keep the faith in what you are and who you are and don’t step to far away from your inner self just to fit into this weird world or to please someone. It’s you who’s counting!