Less is more – my way to minimalism

Less is more – my way to minimalism

Minimalism is something I like so much. It gives you room, space, air – open spaces are a symbol of liberty.

How to start and apply this minimalism in a small flat which once was a single home? Now this is the home of our family, means my son, my husband and me and a change is needed.

The more we have the unhappier we are?

This sentence is partly true.

I am de-cluttering, everything, every tiny space in the house will be turned upside down. While doing this I start to realize how many things we have, how many unused items, how much of what doesn’t make us happier because most of it is hidden behind doors, in the back of an wardrobe buried under something else.

What do we use and wear frequently, what do we use and wear from time to time, what do we use and wear never?

Sorting out makes me feel good. This act of letting go is not only sorting my wardrobe but also sorting my life.

How much do you have in your life that doesn’t make you happy?

Have you ever thought about it?

We live in an overflow of possibilities.

How many white shirts does one single person need? Seriously, even if you wear them 24/7, even if you change it twice a day – the amount of clothes in my wardrobe isn’t to be justified. Not even if I try to find an excuse.

This overflow is present wherever we go. I think we are a generation with an amount of choices that is hard to handle, especially when someone has not yet developed a certain kind of confidence.

If your path in life is not yet clear and you are searching for your personal way you will find thousands of possibilities and you end up in a jungle.

The importance of going back to the roots

I think it’s important to cut down what’s not needed as much as we can. I say extra as much as we can. We don’t have to start and go so far back in time that we have the next “problem”. A certain kind of minimalism is needed, at least for me. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to use these billions of possibilities we have.

In contrary, it means that I am thankful for what we have. We are lucky to have this wonderful choice! The minimalism has to set in when we are choosing. Instead of taking all we can, which has the risk of getting lost again, we should take what we can handle.

I want to write, what I am doing here, that means I take the opportunity and use the internet for what I like to do.

I also would like to start a yoga teacher training and I could sign up right now. This opportunity is just a few clicks away. But I would not be able to succeed right now because I have a full-time job, a family with a toddler, a quite full calendar and barely time for writing and some yoga.

Do you see what I mean? I cut down and let go. That doesn’t mean this chance has passed, that means it isn’t fitting in at this moment. Once the toddler is older I may want to think about it again. Or I may have something else by then which is more important for my life at that stage. You never know where life goes. Things that were once important are vanishing from your life without leaving even traces. Sometimes it’s even enough to listen to your gut feeling.

My way

My way is just starting. Or even better said, this journey is the destination. Not everything in your life need to hit a predefined goal!

What am I doing in general?

I don’t have a plan, that means I go by intuition which is my way. Maybe you are the same kind because I have enough pressure in my life that I cannot fully control (like work for instance), it wouldn’t feel good to put myself under another kind of pressure. For some persons that won’t work because they need a strict plan in place. This is your way to find out what’s best for you.

I made a list, my list. It is kind of a plan, that’s correct, but it’s not written in stone. This list is like a working document. I add things as they pop up and I cross out either because it’s done or because it’s not important anymore. This list has no priorities, if I have checked something on it at the end of the day, then I’m happy. If not, then it is like it is.

To be honest, for me this works best, I don’t feel depressed when this list is long because I know that nothing on that list is urgent. Everything on there will make my life less cluttered once it’s done but without any pressure behind.

Let go AND change

My way doesn’t end here because I realized that it’s not only about minimizing what we have but also about making changes.

I used my electric toothbrush for years and would have had so many benefits in my brain to convince anyone to buy an electric brush. You don’t believe what I use now. A bamboo brush.

No plastic, no electricity, no batteries, no timer, no sounds, a simple and easy bamboo brush.

Does it make me happy? Yes!!!

I changed! The way forward for me is not only about getting rid of things. It is also to think about what we have and how we could improve there. Not feeding the plastic industry is a good feeling! This is just a small start.

I’m far away from being perfect and there are many things where I can start to check for alternatives. There are also many things where I don’t find alternatives because I wouldn’t feel happy with the alternative. And sometimes even there simply are no alternatives. The balance is the key, as it is so often. As long as you know where to cut things down you will be fine.

Every step you make to improve your life and your environment is important. If only each person is starting we all would make a difference. Be the example and show your family, friends and neighbors what alternatives we have.

This is my way.

I just started and am happy if you share what you are doing.

What about you?

Are you trying to change?

Are you living with all you need but not more?

Do you have stuffed closets and no clue what’s inside?

Are you lost in the jungle of possibilities you have?

How do you want to change your life?

Are you happy with your life as it is?

Let me know – I would love to hear your stories <3

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Why being an egoist isn’t always bad

Nobody will tell you to take care of yourself!
Your life – your responsibility

Why being an egoist isn’t always bad

We are growing up learning to take care of one another and to share, which in general is great, but what nobody is telling us along the way is that we will face times where nobody will take care of you.

We should not act egoistic, being an egoist is bad – we are bad if we are an egoist. While I partly agree, because I’d love to see non-egoists everywhere, I partly disagree quite strong.

To put myself behind is something which is valuable in many ways, if I stand up for elder persons and offer them my seat for instance. I can start and collect many examples why it’s good to think about others. The main problem is that it will not work out 100% because nobody is perfect and social and caring like I would like them to be.

To be a caring person is wonderful as long as it’s not affecting my own sanity and here the egoist has to step in.

Only if I take care about myself, if I give myself enough time to rest, to recover, to grow, to meditate, to move, to think, to whatever makes you feel good – only then I have the strength to be there when others need me. Center yourself exactly where you are!

We are often truly exchangeable – which is not nice but sadly the reality.

If I just think about work-life, be it my own or everyone else’s, every single one of us can be exchanged within the blink of an eye. The world isn’t stopping just because I’m not there anymore. Even if many think that they are very important especially in their professional life, I can assure you, YOU ARE NOT!

A waitress is kicked out and the next is starting right away, of course that can work, you think if you are the vice president of a large traditional family business and nobody can replace you? From whom did you take over? There will always be someone coming after and that’s life, nothing is permanent.

Knowing this and knowing that I can only be the best version of myself if I take care of myself taught me to step back if I need to. I worked through many “just a small” colds instead of going on sick leave and recover properly before being back at work. NOBODY will say thanks for that and that’s good because only then you learn what’s important.

No work is more important than my health. Only if I’m healthy I can work.

So here we are – if I answer the phone with a croaky voice being obviously not healthy not many will ask you to go to the doctor and stay in bed. Many will ask you with the pity in their voices if you don’t feel fine but will switch in the next second to tasks that need to be done.

Be an egoist and RECOVER properly, long-term this is the only possibility to stay healthy and maybe to reach the change you want to see in this society.

What about invisible problems? A croaky voice, ok, but if you have mental illnesses it’s not even visible. You will tell me now that you are happy about that fact but that’s wrong.

I would love to invent something like a face turning pink-striped when having mental health issues not to put the spotlight on that person but to raise awareness of how many people are affected. This taboo needs to be broken and people should be treated properly as if they have a broken leg. It may take longer, yes, but it’s as important as any other illness to be cured!

I seriously don’t want to stamp persons as sick but I am sure that many are not asking for help or are going to get help themselves because this stamp “crazy” is still so active in our society. If you are not visibly ill then what? You have a day where you don’t feel fine, that’s normal. If it’s more than one day, then pull yourself together, it’s easy like that, isn’t it?

No, it isn’t and everyone who thinks it is has luckily never experienced mental health issues!

So please, don’t be shy, don’t be ashamed, don’t feel ‘not normal’ or crazy – there is help out there and please reach for it!

There is slowly a re-thinking on it’s way in our society but it needs people to go out and to show their pink-striped faces, people to say “Yes, I have problems”, people to assure that it is nothing to be afraid of! I promise you, if we really would put stripes in our faces the ones without would even be in the minority.

To reach a change we need to start.

Be the change you want to see…

Be an egoist and take care of yourself!!!

(Because nothing is permanent 🙂 )

Back to the New Normal of Parenthood

Back to the New Normal of Parenthood

Back to the New Normal of Parenthood

Another mom post – mmmh – yes and no, I would call it HUMAN but mum influenced.

When you are only responsible for yourself these things like “am I a role model” or “what do others think” seem not to be important at all. OK, for some the second point is their life but let’s go away from those 🙂

What I mean is, I lived my life before I was a mom just the way I wanted to – I never thought of being a good example – I did what I wanted and what I deemed for myself to be correct and that’s it.

Now I see it slightly different because I have to be a good example, especially at the moment with a little parrot toddler.

My child is showing me where I can improve to be a better person on the one hand and on the other I realize that there are many things which I don’t want him to learn as being normal in this world.

It’s funny how wonderful my own childhood is now in my memory. It was wonderful but people tend to remember things brighter as they were. Surely not everything was better and I don’t want to sound like an old grumpy lady stating everything was better in the past because that’s not true but there were VALUES and I start to miss many of them nowadays.

I see children with no respect, running into adults without saying sorry, taking toys for granted and many seem to have no behavior anymore.

I don’t want my son to be that kind of child. He learns that respecting others is important because he wants to be respected as well. He learns that everyone makes mistakes and saying sorry is not a sign of weakness, saying thanks and please is something we live, he learns it as being normal and that’s how I learned it as well when I was a child.

We don’t bury him under the newest toys and gadgets for toddlers because it’s simply not needed. Children are so wonderfully innocent and find always something to play with, I don’t want to take away his curiosity and fantasy because that’s what is so precious in growing up. A simple carton box can be his toy for several days and only he knows what he is playing but if you watch him he’s the happiest little boy on earth.

The new normal is the headline, maybe you realize already what I mean.

I’ve seen a little girl recently which wanted to look like Elsa and I have no idea who Elsa is and had to google it. She’s influenced at the age of not even two by an artificial figure and wants long blond hair and princess dresses “to be also so beautiful”.

A little boy (around 4 to 5 years) is telling his mom in the supermarket that he wants to go home because he is too stressed and wants to relax.

These are only two examples from many many others I could give.

Where is the carefree childhood? Why do girls think they need to look like someone else to be beautiful, why does a boy at the age of four even know the word stressed?

It’s us!

We are the ones who have to give them the carefree childhood they deserve, it’s us who have to protect them from thinking they are not beautiful because they are the most beautiful humans on earth! We need to protect them and give them all the time they need to develop and grow without knowing what the word stress even means.

They need us to assure them day by day that they are perfect the way they are, that they can trust we are there for them whatever may happen, that they are cared for and loved endlessly, this is what they need to build a strong self-confidence, not figures like Elsa or a full calendar at the age of four.

I want to be like daddy, I want to be like mommy – aren’t these the sentences which proof that we are doing our job?

I sit down on the floor and I build castles out of sand, we snuggle and giggle and hide under blankets, we run in a goofy way through the house and can’t stop laughing – these are the memories I want my son to share with his children one day, not that he loved a movie character when he was three and the Chinese teacher (which seems to be a new trend as well) was his best friend at the age of three.

Let’s start a new normal, let’s be the old-fashioned parents who don’t start to park their children in front of the TV, who don’t support this big movie toy/gadget market out there, who choose to be retro if you want to call it like that in a modern way. We don’t have drive cars without seats for our children because we know better than the generation of our parents how dangerous it can be, but we still don’t need the iPad adapter for the back seats because we can sing all children’s songs loud in the car.

I love to go back to the old style with the knowledge from today!

Greetings from the new normal mom <3

 

 

 

 

Six years ago…

Six years ago...

Six years ago…

Six years ago I would’ve never pictured my life the way it is now.

Six years ago I planned my first single vacation in Italy

Six years ago I tried to become happy again just on my own and with myself.

Six years ago I was far away from thinking about my own wedding.

Six years ago I was not thinking that a man would step into my life and turn it upside down so quickly.

Six years ago I wasn’t even aware where exactly Libya is on the map (I knew Northern Africa, but that’s all I knew).

Six years ago I wasn’t able to touch my toes easily.

Six years ago I never imagined myself being a yogi.

Six years ago I never thought that I will have my own blog.

Six years ago I tried to get more balance in my life.

Six years ago I wouldn’t have cooked lamb meat.

Six years ago I thought Prada shoes are what I desperately need.

Six years ago my life was completely different.

Six years ago I had not the slightest idea of how wonderful motherhood feels like.

Six years ago I didn’t know that I would have a sweet family of three in a few years.

Six years ago I had no idea where Libya is.

Six years ago I just wanted to put my head under the blanket and wait for better times.

Six years ago I told myself I had to look up again.

Six years ago I thought all doors are closed.

Six years ago I wasn’t able to imagine how loved I will be six years later.

Six years ago are thankful six years ago and there were so so so many lessons learned since then. Life changes and so did I – taking a step back to see where I am today is good. I look back and am thankful, thankful of how it all turned out, thankful of the past, thankful of each single tear, thankful of being strong enough to change what can be changed and thankful that I am today right here, right now.

How was your life six years ago?

Greetings from the past but living and loving the now from misssfaith

Who am I

Crazy days of motherhood (2)

Who am I and where am I is maybe the better title.

I am just sitting here in a quiet flat (if you can ignore the washing machine and dryer in the background), my son sleeps and my husband is at work.

It’s Saturday afternoon and I have finally time just for myself.

The whole week was insanely busy – our bathroom is renewed which means that we had workers in the flat EACH day and really EARLY in the morning.

As a home office worker that’s great because you don’t have to leave them unattended, but honestly, no bathroom is a nightmare and strangers in the flat as well.

The whole week I was rushing my son in the morning to the kita, followed by a day of work and answering questions like “where is the heater”, “why wasn’t that done years ago” and “where do you want the towel holder”. When I finished work I rushed back to pick up my son, followed by quick grocery shopping before starting to cook at home (not to mention that each day I had to remove layers of dust which found their way outside of the bathroom within seconds, even in the last corner of the living room we found it.

I am happy that it’s weekend (even if the bathroom isn’t ready as promised) but at least there is time to re-charge.

And while I’m sitting here this question popped up in my mind – who am I?

This week I was only a mom and an employee, barely a wife and just me was almost invisible.

There are seldom days where I’m just me because with a toddler you are a 24/7 mom, but that’s fine, I like it (most of the times) and I wanted exactly this.

I’m a wife too and the combination of me, mom and wife is really great, just recently I have the feeling as if the employee is taking far too much time and I’m hardly able to be the rest.

I am also a yogi, if I’m lucky for half an hour per day, sometimes less and sometimes more.

Whom I’m missing recently are the artist, the jewelry maker, the relaxed and the shopping me, they are hiding themselves somewhere and I need to dig hard to find them I think, but I know that they are there.

Also the reading one seems to got lost along the way, I try so hard but after a few sentences I cannot keep my eyes open on most of the days.

I know that these times change and I know that it is all worth it in the end. I just have to look into the eyes of my son to know that this overflowing pure love is the greatest gift in life, everything else is a plus, an extra, something I will have time for when he’s older.

I also lost some mes along the way and that’s great, I’m happy that I’m not them anymore. That doesn’t mean I didn’t like them, they were wonderful the way they were, they are just not important any more and their time is over. There was the single and the undecided twen, the partying and the what cost’s the world one, the newly hired and the where do I wanna be in 20 years one, the blindly in love and the sad and depressed one, I look back and say thanks to all of them, you made me the person I am today and I won’t miss anyone of you.

Who are you right now? And are you happy with the others vanishing or hiding? Who won’t show up again?

Questions over questions, I’d love to read your stories.