I’m proud because I designed a journal. A gratitude journal.
Being grateful is wonderful to commit to a healthier lifestyle. Being happy with our life is something many are striving for. We don’t need to look on the outside but instead put our focus on what we have already. Shifting perspective is the aim of this journal.
You can start now your own journey with it. Cherish your life in the present moment.
Believe me, this is just the start. My time off-work made me start to write again and there is much more to come, I promise.
A journal is indeed not a masterpiece of writing but for me it is my first printed book with an ISBN on it and I am beyond proud. This is one of the lessons – be grateful for each step, why should I belittle myself if it is an achievement on my way?
Of course I can only write for myself and I changed my mindset to focus on the good and not the bad.
Instead of “it is not a great book where you say about a plot for ages” I’d rather tell myself “be proud of this step on your way. You figured out how to design and create something that’s finally printed and hey, it looks awesome”.
What are the things you are proud of right now?
Let me know in the comments – share your wonderful achievements from your personal way.
And of course here is the link to it if you’d like to have a look.
I’m writing – that’s why I’m here. My plan is to have written one book at least one day – no time schedule up to now – and here is an extract, I’m on my way but I wonder what professionals would say as well as for sure readers.
If you take the time to read what I produced I would be more than happy to receive feedback!
Please be honest, I can stand it 🙂
Thanks a lot upfront!!!
Downstairs I’m standing now with my suitcase and the keys in my hand to remember where I parked the car. It’s autumn already and I always try to find a place away from the trees. I walk through the autumn filled air to my car, it’s covered with leaves already although the autumn just starts. I see it but my mind is already traveling, far ahead of me. My scarf isn’t protecting me from the cold air, or is it just my inner feeling?
The first thing after starting the car is turning the heater on, I’m freezing. The way to the airport is an half an hour drive and normally I turn the radio on and sometimes I even sing along but today I don’t even realize the silence in the car. My mind is loud enough, thoughts of how it will be and how I will feel. The streets are still empty, it’s early morning and weekend. The river besides the street is flowing quietly, no more kids playing there before they head off to the school, just a few people go for a walk with their dogs. We have many dogs in the city, this is what my husband realized quickly when he was here for the very first time. He’s scared of dogs and to have one as a pet is normal here but completely unusual for him. There are dogs existing where he is and he even had one as a child but nowadays it’s not common anymore.
I stand a the first traffic lights, wondering how often I drove this way and when I will be there again. The way to the airport is well known, I went there a felt thousand times. In the past mainly for catching flights for work, after I changed my job position the drives were rarely. Once or twice a year for work or holidays but it wasn’t my weekly drive anymore. When I met my husband the first time in person it was the first time for me as well to drive there and wait for someone to leave the arrival area. Someone I rarely knew at that time. It was exciting, scary, a strange feeling deep inside on what will happen and how we will spend the weekend.
Since then this airport has a special meaning for me, or better said, two.
The pick ups every few weeks are the happy drives. When I am near I even imagine in which arriving plane he may is or if he is already so near to me as I wish. The departure drives are the sad ones and we both try to catch every second of us before he is walking through the security check. I mostly try to walk away quickly so that he is not seeing the tears welling up. And also not to be one of those movie women at airports, crying because a spouse is leaving. I want to be stronger.
My car is parked and I am on my way to the check-in. The flight is on plan so far and I don’t have to hurry. Time to have a coffee and check the duty free offers but I’m walking like absent minded through the shops. I buy his perfume as it’s cheaper here and I love his smell so much. At home I open his wardrobe from time to time just to catch his scent. It’s easing somehow. He’s not there but I can smell him.
The gate opens and I walk between strangers into the plane. This is not unusual as I did it many times but this time it feels different. The language already changed although we haven’t started yet and I am happy that the stewardesses speak my language. I’m able to communicate at least until I arrive. Most of the passengers seem to be residents of our destination and the cultural difference is already present. Women are covered, some loosely, some from head to toe. They smell different than European women. I’m feeling slightly uncomfortable as I have the feeling as if everyone is staring at me. Who is she, the blonde woman, uncovered on her way to their country. I’m not uncovered like uncovered in a European meaning. I’m wearing comfortable jeans, flat shoes, a T-shirt and my wool jacket as I’m always freezing in planes. My scarf is in my bag, I’m sure I need it later on when the air condition of the plane starts. I’m pretty sure that they aren’t watching me because I’m not covered, they will always do that as I’m different. I will never fit into their picture on how women should look like and I will always be whiter and blonder. At this moment I’m glad to have booked a window seat as usual, that way I can snuggle up in my corner without strangers stepping over me to grab their bags, needing a toilet or whatever. A last message is sent to say that I’m in the plane, arrival time should be on schedule and that I will call as soon as I have arrived and the phone has net. Time to plug in the ear phones, music is always calming me down. Not because I’m scared of flying, I like it, but in general. To listen to my favorite music while starting is one thing I love. Everything is getting smaller below me and we break through the clouds and fly directly into the shining sun. The sun will be the same here and there but its intensity will change.
I am leaving, I am really leaving and am on my way. It’s kind of exciting and nervous at the same. Yes, I’m nervous as I go into a country I have never been to before. A country where the war is just over and it’s still not as calm as I would wish. A culture so different from ours. I tried to imagine several times how it will be but I will never know until I’m there. Imaginations, pictures, scenes from TV news, everything is running through my mind.
Since I joined wordpress and imported everything I wrote before, this page is getting me back to what I thought blogging is in first place.
Even more to be honest, it’s really the best platform for me to do what I want to do around my blog.
And here it starts, now that I get more and more into it I want to spend more time with my writing passion – the problem is that I have a day job which consumes lots of my time and sometimes doesn’t leave much for enjoying my writing.
What’s dragging me to the blog – several reasons if I listen carefully to my heart.
It’s not only that I love to write and to pin all ideas down, it’s also kind of thrilling when I see likes coming in or persons start to follow.
Follow me!
Who am I that persons click the follow button?
Is it really interesting what I do on this blog or is it just me, thinking that I may improve now in writing?
Are they following because it’s a bad example on “how not to start a blog” or do they understand what I mean?
If I would write now that it is for sure that I am good and that’s the reason for people following me, the great thinker and writer, it would be insane.
I really think sometimes I’m getting insane, but vice versa.
From the bottom of my heart I believe that I’m not the dumbest person alive, I was always interested in many things with a certain kind of intelligence to understand them properly. Literature is accompanying me since I read the first word. A life without books is impossible for me, it’s like the air we need to breathe.
But there are times when I start feeling insecure. Am I really good enough? There are so many blogs, why should mine be the one dragging people to it?
Isn’t my layout too easy, shouldn’t there be more features included, but in the end I find back to myself and back to the reason why I have started.
I want to write, purely and simply write. So why to have the most stylish layout if the main focus should lay on what I write?
To be honest, I don’t want to spend hours on trying a light green background with purple dots or a sidebar with pop ups and polls as I see more purpose in using the time to write new posts.
Yet it is another kind of life story what I’m doing here. My life story, sometimes mixed with fiction, sometimes pure reality, and sometimes just things I love and adore.
But if I see how I am, then it’s not yet another life story as I’m the kind of person who loves to listen or read from someone else’s life. Not because I’m a stalker or jealous on how others go along, no, just because I think that each life is unique and each story can fulfill needs.
What needs?
There are the ones, which can amuse us, or make us cry, the ones that raise awareness and let us realize that we should be thankful for what we have, the ones which are similar to ours and which may show us another way when we feel to be on the one way road. And still there are so many stories out there which should be written but can’t as not everyone is in the wonderful position of being able to write, read or having a computer and electricity.
I hope you see the point, this is why I am writing.
I wouldn’t call it a possession although I realize since I’m here that life is so much more than working – where is my way, is it really to work through the day and write through the night?
Is my passion to have a lack of sleep because I need both?
I think I’m on my way and this is indeed something good already. I’m curious to see where this way will lead to but it would be far too early to know now. Another story which still needs to be written, one day, when I may found out the purpose of this passion possession.
What was your first intention when you started to blog?
You want to know which book is my all-time favourite?
The first book that comes to my mind when being asked about books is Elizabeth Gilbert’s “Eat Pray Love”
That’s on the top of my list and feels already like an old companion!
How often I read it? I cannot count it anymore.
It was several times and I also watched the movie afterwards more than once. Not sure if it was hitting me because I was in a same situation when I started to read it first and that’s completely the reason I like it so much or because it’s really that good.
What made me wonder is that I like both, book and movie, although in most cases the movie never can reach the book. It’s in this case also not matching up completely as you cannot exactly translate all sense of writing into pictures but both have a unique kind of showing people what it is all about.
First time read
When reading it for the first time I was flashed of all the hidden messages in it but when reading it for a second and a third time I was taking even more out of it.
There are always passages which I didn’t focus deep enough on during the first reading which got me the second or third time.
I would say it’s more detailed in description about how she feels and thinks and how hard she is trying to find her path in life but also the movie has many of this hidden sense in it too.
Here again I realize each time I watch it again something “new” and this is awesome.
I was never a big fan of any actress or actor but for this movie I have to say Chapeau to Julia Roberts. She fits perfectly as she’s able to act the way it was meant in the book and still it seems to be easy. It’s kind of art to act like this and it’s really appreciated, she’s not changing the story to adapt it to her, she’s adapting herself to fit into the story. And what’s most important is that my impression of the book didn’t suffer after I watched the movie, no, it was supporting it and giving a bit extra sense. I read some recensions a few weeks ago and I have to say, call me vainly if you like, but people thinking that both, book and movie, are boring, lame, long-winded, atrabilious, they just didn’t get the deeper sense behind it. That’s not a comedy story or a movie full of special effects and action, it’s about the search in life we are all facing once in a while, sometimes more and sometimes less, some focusing on it more as some others and this story is for me like a guide.
A guide in many senses, it’s not that I start now to travel for one year to find myself, but to be aware, even if we all knew it, that I’m not the only one asking myself all those questions what life is about and how to cope with it, this is giving a little hold. How my way onward is looking like will be totally different from the book but the main questions it raised are almost generally fitting to many of us.
So, and now you can call me again vainly, if not even one part of the story is hitting you, you are ignoring yourself in this game called life and others are ruling you.
It seems to be easy and common for many people on this earth, but I think that just taking the easy way is kind of running away from yourself. To focus on your own life with all needs, scars, emotions, dreams, wounds and love is the hardest way, I know what I’m talking about, but we all are talking so much about being free, taking over responsibilities for our own life, being self-determined, so why not start with yourself?
If you are not starting with your own life, even if it is painful at times, you will never reach the stage where you are free. It’s like the old saying “only if you are able to love yourself you will reach the ability to love others” – that’s true, maybe even the key in life. Start trusting in yourself and building up the faith you need to face all situations is life. It’s a long way and I don’t know anyone who reached the goal already or if there is a goal at all but it’s sure that this is enriching! Good luck!
