Do we expect too much (to be happy)?
There is no correct answer to this question! But there are many examples of where we indeed expect too much or have wrong expectations.
Life is not a fairy tale and even if many are dreaming of a big love story lots of them are disappointed in the end.
The question is why.
You meet the person you fall in love with and luckily this person falls in love with you as well.
What else can we wish for?
But there it starts – we start to expect.
The romance should stay a lifetime.
I want to be treated as a princess.
The butterflies should always be there.
That won’t happen!
Do you know that you are one of the luckiest persons on earth if you fall in love and you are loved back?
So many long for this experience and will never know how it feels like!
Why do we start to destroy this love by expecting it to be like this or like that?
Our love is unique as our fingerprint and once we feel our heart beating in the same rhythm as the heart of our loved one nothing will be like it was before.
This pure luck will change us forever!
Change – yes, we do change! But we don’t change to be part of a movie romance story with a happily ever after, where everything falls into place like we wish and smells like roses and candy.
We change as we start to balance between who we are, who we are as a couple, where we want to go (alone and as a couple). There are so many questions and some of them are asked while some are considered answered already because we love each other, don’t we?
Here the first wrong expectations start to set in.
I love but how strong is this love?
Am I able to go against anything if I would have to; to save it or not?
Do I know everything about my partner or do I guess?
Just because I want to spent the rest of my life with this person and have children doesn’t mean my partner wants the same. Or maybe he wants the same but not within the same time I wish for.
Guessing is feeding my wrong expectations.
Of course “we” want to marry – that’s what couples do. Can you answer for your partner? He may have no idea that you think this way and will never ask you because he’s happy just like it is.
Love is happening. That’s correct. So why don’t we take it like it is and instead put this precious love into a time-schedule? And what would be the time-schedule?
If you feel that the love you feel is not making me happy – that’s hard but that happens because of different expectations.
The hardest is to let go!
Once you have the strength to let go and acknowledge that this love is wonderful and all you wished for, but that it wasn’t meant to be for a lifetime; only then you are able to make peace with yourself and with the person who wasn’t fulfilling what you wished for.
It’s not the task of somebody else to fulfill your desires. You are responsible to live the life you want to live. So don’t make the mistake to attach your “happy” to a person. Instead be happy together with that person as long as it lasts!
Life is never black or white. We are so unique and have millions of different thoughts and wishes and hopes; there is no right or wrong when love sets in.
- Be thankful!
- Be thankful for this fast beating heart and the butterflies in your stomach.
- Be thankful for the memories you have, for this warm feeling in your heart when you remember how love feels.
- Be thankful for the time, for the emotions, for the heartache.
- Be thankful for raw pure moments of total bliss.
- Be thankful for a heart wide open, letting love flow as if there’s no tomorrow.
- Also be thankful for the heartache, for the grief and tears when a love ended.
Only the one who loves deeply will understand what love is.
You know what love is and you are able to love, that’s a gift.
Every love has its uniqueness – if you loved once it doesn’t mean that you will experience the same again.
I can assure you that it won’t be the same. Not because I’m a love expert but because it can never be the same.
You are a different person and the person you love is either a different one or a different person like you due to experiences made before.
I’m not talking about a certain kind of love. Even if we distinguish between the love for a partner, the love for family, the love for a child or the love for friends – they all will never be the same.
Be even more thankful when you live with your love and tell them! Go ahead and tell them how happy you are to be around them, how love is surrounding you.
Happiness in first place is always something inside of you! It can take a million people who love you, they won’t make you happy if you are not able to accept this love in your life.
I wish you a life full of love, a heart warm and happy and with lots of memories and a stomach full of butterflies. But always remember, you are the first person you need to love truly before anyone else has a chance and don’t expect them to love you in a certain way. Take them as they are and be happy!