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The most wonderful time…

The most wonderful time…

… of the year is when?

I am a summer person so I should say summer, shouldn’t I?

But there are days in winter I like as well so here I already have a tiny problem to define my most wonderful time.

And if I think further I gave birth to my son in spring, so this time would be supposed to be mine.

Our wedding in August, we are going on summer vacation in August as well, August has long warm summer evenings and we wake up because the bright summer sun is lighting up the bedroom.

What about the golden September days, the end of the summer where we enjoy the still warm sunshine.

In October the first real autumn days are approaching us. Leaves are falling and make funny sounds when we walk through the park.

In November I’ve been born, winter is slowly showing us its face. Nights are starting to be colder and the air in the morning already smells snowy.

In December we like the snowflakes dancing through the cold air, the kitchen is warm and we start to bake Christmas cookies and look forward to spend the Christmas days with family and friends.

In January a new year just begun. We feel as if we have a million possibilities of things we can do throughout that year, we plan, we hope, we look forward to what it has in store for us.

In February my parents have their birthdays and a snowy Phase often starts before we will see the first signs of spring. We settle slowly into the still new year and wait for the warmth to return.

In March the spring feeling hits us, we drink coffee again outside, still in warm jackets but the outside season starts after we were inside for a long cold winter.

In April some days can we really warm already. Our son was born and lights up our life each second since. My sister and best friend are also having their birthdays in April.

In May everything blooms, this time of the year is so wonderful, I start to hear people outside in the evenings and this “life” in the city raises my mood. Almost everyone seems to smile because the dark days are over for a good while.

June is always my busy month to plan our summer vacation. I know there are early booking advantages but somehow I am the last (very last) minute person. However, we spent great summer holidays so far so it doesn’t seem to be too bad.

July is packed with sunshine. We try to spend as much time outside as possible and enjoy this summer atmosphere in the city.

Vacation time starts mid August and ends always with my husbands birthday followed by our wedding anniversary ❤️

So now, how should I decide which time of the year I like most?

If I would ask my son he would answer NOW, simply because he does not have this time feeling yet. If he wants something he wants it directly, not in 5 minutes and surely not tomorrow or next month or even year.

He lives NOW and this is one of the biggest lessons he teaches me day in and day out.

Now is the best time of the year, now is the best time of our life, now is all that matters.

Everything I do now will influence my tomorrow so if I complain the whole day long I may think the next day that I wasted a whole day for nothing, which will make me mad again – this is a vicious circle, it draws me into a life of complaining.

But if I cherish what I have and start to make the best out of even the darkest moments, then I wake up the next day and I will be grateful for what I have.

Be here now and love your life the way you want to – we only have this one!

Much love to you, you are in the most wonderful time of the year now, tomorrow and every day after!

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How to create a safe space for your children?

Safe space for children

As  a full-time working mom of a two and a half year old I’m always struggling between feeling completely guilty and the worst mom ever and feeling wonderful and organized and the best mom on earth.

This diversity is driving me nuts even if I know at the end of each day, good and bad days, that I truly am the best mom on earth for MY child.

I feel so often guilty as I would like to spend much more time with him, even if I pick him up at the kindergarten in the afternoon it’s not just time for us but we need to do things he not prefers at all (like grocery shopping or playing alone while “mummy need to write just a couple of emails and then I am fully with you” lies as it often takes more time and then the guilt sets in.

But why am I doing all of this, why am I not quitting and jump to the full-time mom job?

Simply because we cannot afford it and this is not a unique situation, it’s the struggle of sooooo sooooo many other moms out there.

We work hard and we do all of this for our families. We don’t go shopping just for us anymore, each earned cent is in first place for our children, they deserve a warm home, a safe space, clothes, toys, food they like and apparently is mainly healthy – I never went so often into the whole food stores before I had a child. It started when I was pregnant and when I knew I’m NOW responsible for a human, a tiny human incapable of taking care of himself. But that’s another story.

So how do I cope with this guilt and how do I try to create the safest space on earth for this little boy?

1

I first of all love him like nothing else on earth! And I’m telling him, obviously. He needs to know that he’s love from the bottom of our hearts and souls and that he is perfect exactly the way he is.

oh child of mine

2

Second I try to be there for him whenever he needs me – why try? Because he’s going into the Kindergarten and even if I would like to be there 24/7 I need to let go for a couple of hours per day. But, and that’s the good thing, I see how happy he is there and how wonderful they take care of my child. 

3

Third is that I listen – he’s just now starting to speak in sentences and I listen, I don’t start to correct directly or just let him talk, I want to hear and understand what he is saying. He’s not talking because he loves talking, he’s talking because he wants to be heard.

we are his home

4

Fourth is quite easy as I always referred to our home as a nest, he should live in a warm and loving home, we share a family bed and he has his bed attached so that he can decide where he wants to sleep, snuggled up between us or on “his own” in his bed. Our home should be the safest place on earth for him. Here he lives, his toys belong to our living room in the same way as our “toys” belong there. There is no mine and yours, it’s our home. He can for instance reach fruit when he likes to eat a banana or an apple, his water bottle is always standing filled somewhere within his reach, he can move through the flat like he wants to (only the bathroom and the kitchen is “locked” as long as he’s not understanding that flushing the toilet 5 times in 2 minutes isn’t funny or that the stove gets hot if you press the buttons and that this is dangerous.

wooden toys

5

Fifth is not really easy but crucial – I am not a bad mom, I am not a bad mom, I am not a bad mom…

Acknowledge that you are not perfect, that you make mistakes, that you are not always the mom you would like to be, because you are human.

We make mistakes, we learn, we cry, we regret, we should know better but am stuck, we are exhausted, we shout, we heat up a pizza instead of cooking, we break down and night and still we are there and take care as soon as our child just moves while asleep, all that we are makes us the mom our children need.

At the end of each day we love our children, we don’t harm them, we try to do everything we can to make their life the most wonderful life a child can have with all possibilities we have.

We should tell ourselves much more that we are great in what we are doing and that we do enough. Nobody can give 110% every minute of her life, to expect that from ourselves is far from reality. 

I could start now and go on with number 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, … 100, 101, … but in the end all that counts is that you are there for your child and that you do the best of what you think is the best.

Moms tend to criticize each other like crazy but it’s not worth it -we all want the best and there are millions of ways of what is the best. 

Hug your child/children, tell them you love them, listen to what they tell us and enjoy being with them.

These crazy days of sleepless night will one day be a memory, these days of anger attacks and crying for no (for us) visible reason will fade, these tiny hands that grab ours will grow and let go, these wet kisses will become a “don’t mom, the others will think I’m a baby”, all of our struggles will not be what we will remember. We will remember the purest kind of love, we will remember the smell of our child after it was born, we will remember the brightest smile and the first steps. For all of that being there as you are is the most important you can do to let them grow in their safe space.

I love you, my son – thanks for making me one of these real moms who are messy, crazy, loud, laughing and most of all LOVING like never before <3

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On the road

On the road

On the road

While John Mayer’s Album Continuum is playing (which makes me feel good but also weird old as it’s quite old already), my husband is driving our car towards my parents, and my son is holding my hand after he threw his shoe at me, I decided to use this quiet time and type (left-handed because my right hand is occupied from some sticky toddler fingers).

I start to enjoy spending the time in the car in the back next to my son – it’s relaxed. We have created a little living room here, some toys, some sweets, enough to drink, water wipes, a book, charging cable for my phone, a pillow and his baby blanket. What more can we ask for?

Sometimes I miss driving, but often I just enjoy that I don’t have to.

Time in the road was mostly some “lost” time except of course that it brings us to the places we want to go, but these hours in the back of the car are now filled with laughter and fun, with silly singing, snuggles and sleep, with watching the trees and cities go by and (as now) with time to write down my thoughts in a safe space with a sleepy child next to me.

While I type my husband tries every feature our car has, from autopilot to Chinese navigation settings, happy that I seem not to notice that he speeds up and extra happy that I don’t say something to interrupt his “toy” time. Men 🙂

How life has changed.

We are the same yet completely different.

We are parents but still love what we did before this little boy stole our hearts.

I imagined how I will write blog posts while he naps and my husband thought he will watch his soccer games in the evenings while he sleeps – he taught us how life works.

He hates naps when he senses that I may do something that could be interesting for him. He also prefers to sleep only when minimum mommy, even better both of us, are also in the bed. So no more uninterrupted TV time.

And what do we do? We learn to adapt, we shift priorities, we embrace the life as it is now, we love him to the moon and back and we are grateful to learn so much as he shows us what really matters.

We are on the road, our life, our alleys with blooming trees and our dark slippery bumpy roads through dark places, wherever we go, we have the assurance that we can count on each other and that we will make it, we step over stones and take hurdles because we are responsible, not only for ourselves but also for the light that is shining day in day out, for this little heart-thief, the one who makes us a we and us three a family.

Whatever road you are on right now – go, glide, step, slide, walk steady and confident. Adapt to the surface but keep your eyes straight forward. Be on it now and feel this very moment in time.

Love, from the road ❤️

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Night thoughts

Night thoughts

Night thoughts

Night thoughts are creative, sometimes blurred but still strong enough to survive the night, they are anxious from time to time and vivid, oh yes how vivid they can be.

When everyone is asleep but me and the world outside silent for a few hours they appear.

These thoughts wake me up and they are annoying in the beginning because I need my sleep but in the end they are truly amazing.

The night is the only time when I am as calm as I can be and where thoughts can flow uninterrupted for a while, thinking something through without disturbances.

The best ideas I had appeared during those nights.

I worked hard, I still do, and sometimes I work even harder and when I think I will fall into my bed and sleep will come over me before my head even rests – then, exactly then, these wonderful thoughts will be there like a never-ending fountain.

Listen to the silence of the night and create a whole new mindset – these nights form your being.

I never was scared of the night setting in and being awake when everyone else is asleep is rest for my soul. Specially when days are busy and breaks rare these nights are needed – every one needs silence and when it’s quiet around me my soul has time to be loud, to finally express what needs to be express, to communicate with being heard.

I’m a strong believer of intuition – my brain may want to talk me back into sleep because the next day will be busy and I need rest, but my intuition tells me that I will feel much more relaxed if I dive into this sacred space of the darkness and listen, just listen and feel.

When do you truly feel connected, connected to yourself but also to this big whole universe? In an open space, be it under a gigantic dark sky with thousands of stars above you or be it surrounded by darkness and silence when all you can hear is your own heartbeat and breath.

Listen – listen – listen and feel the depth of your being!

You are so much more than the outer layer, so much more than the visible, dive into the invisible and embrace all that you are!

Namaste <3

 

 

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Please BE Yourself

Please BE Yourself

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I start to go mad more and more – as a mom and as a woman and as a human – why the heck do people tend to be pretenders?

I mean, seriously, there are tons of face filters in social media nowadays and yes, it’s sometimes fun, but as soon as someone is not seeing it like a fun gimmick anymore but seriously thinks that we need them it’s weird.

Where are the real sunsets, where are the real wrinkles after long nights, where are the real bad hair days, where are the real people?

I’m afraid to meet people I know only from their social accounts as I would expect flowers in their hair or ears from dogs on their head (how weird is that in between?). If the face has no softener applied, would I even recognize them in real life?

Also, the #eathealthy hash taggers, would I recognize you sitting in the fast food restaurant with a huge burger in your hand?

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And I can confess that under the apples there is a drawer full of chocolate – this is what life is about! The balance! I don’t have make-up applied, just a filter – why? Besides , I’m not even perfect at using these filter things as my hair still stands up on both sides and I cannot help it 🙂

Are there yogis with picture where they just are normal standing without striking a pose?

I’m happy there are! But I’m not happy that these are still a minority.

There’s a trend now to go back to more reality because life isn’t perfect – there are lots of perfect moments but the majority of them went by too fast to even take a picture and that’s good – only then we start to realize the importance of those moments.

But even for the hashtags #reallife or #morerealityon… I see thousand of pictures where I ask myself where the reality is visible.

I said I’m mad and I can tell you why – we are adults, we are leaders, we are teachers, we set expectations and if we keep it like it is we will have generations of insecure people who never feel good enough in everything they are doing. They feel ugly because their face isn’t lit up by a virtual rainbow in the morning, they feel incapable because their so delicious meal doesn’t look delicious at all regardless from which ankle they try to make that picture, they feel boring because they don’t have each day five really exciting pictures to post.

Do we want the next generations to be like that? Do we want to teach our children that life happens in these devices?

NO – I don’t want this!

I absolutely love my online, virtual communities, but I want to see a shift there, I want to see what’s really going on.

Nobody needs to pour their heart out in public, unless you want to, but can we stick to what is instead of what I want it to be?

I’m tired, my hair isn’t perfect, I look pale due to a lack of sleep, but my eyes shine when I see my son learning something new. These moments are visible if you focus on what counts – no judging but loving.

I slowly get back to my yoga – one step at a time, sometimes two steps back, yes, that’s real! I would love to send each day a great yoga pose out on Instagram to impress, but that’s simply not me. I struggle to hold the crow that I could so perfectly two years ago. I will never go into a headstand (or at least I feel as if I will never manage that right now!). This NOW is my reality but that doesn’t mean that my NOW is not enough, not worthy, not something I like.

We all have phases where we accomplish more and phases where we are adjusting and phases where we are still and where we are loud, phases where we are beyond happy and phases where we are depressed – ALL of this is us and that’s PERFECT!!!

Be real – do it for your own sanity, do it to show others that this life is not a fairy-tale and that it’s OK to be … (however you feel right now)!

Rant over – enjoy this beautiful life and embrace every moment!

If you like – follow me on Instagram and let’s create a #BeREAL community which is uplifting and empowering! See you there 🙂

 

 

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Mompreneurs wanted

Mompreneurs wanted

mompreneur

I need stories, encouraging stories, life changing stories, raw and imperfect stories, real stories.

All of you who made the step into a self-lead mom-work-life, how the heck you found the courage to finally DO it?

What was your idea, how long did it take until you started through.

What are the obstacles – day by day but also in a whole?

I know that I want to change something, I know that this is a step I want to go one day but this one day is hunting me – there must be a date (at least in my mind) to go towards to, there must be a list of pro and con, of do and don’t, a concept (at least drafted), a financial plan, there’s so much to think of…

I’m keen to listen to your advise, experience and I’m sure other’s would be interested as well – so either comment or (if you like), send me your whole story and I’m happy to publish it as a separate post with links and shares.

Empower me (from mom to mom)

Much love <3

 

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I am your shelter ALWAYS

I am your shelter ALWAYS

I am your shelter ALWAYS

Because that’s what moms are made for.

If you feel insecure, I am there to hold your hand and to tell you that you are wonderful.

If you are scared, I am there to tell you that everything will be alright.

If you are hurt, I am there to kiss away your pain.

If you are angry, I am there and help you to get over it.

If you need help, I am there for you.

If you are not feeling fine, I am there to pamper you.

If you are crying, I am there to soothe you.

If you are hungry, I am there to feed you.

Whenever there will be an “If”, count on me – we will go through this life side by side, hand in hand.

Your Mom <3

 

 

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Practice love until you remember you are love

Practice love until you remember you are love

Practice love

A wise sentence which is not from me – Swami Sai Premananda said it once and it contains pure truth!

I want to practice Yoga, I desperately want to, but so often I am barely able to finish what I need to do on a normal day so that this aim falls behind, again and again.

BUT, and this should be a reminder to all of us, I practice love a thousand times per day – I try to be the best version I can be day in and day out. I fail along the way, and I learn, and I start all over again and do what I suppose is the right thing to do.

Every human being can relate to this I guess, because that’s life!

I have many examples where I try and fail and try and love as the mom of a terrible two toddler who is the most awesome mirror you can ever imagine.

I have many examples as a wife as well.

But the most important is that we all, regardless of what we are else, we all have to practice love as a person. You interact with people, be it the waitress, the fuel station guy, the postman, the whoever. Be kind and watch yourself how you interact in life.

My Yoga is kind of messy hair, half-dressed, morning asanas, far away from rolling out the mat, lighting up incense sticks, having some chilly music in the background, and what should I do now?

No mat_

Cry about it won’t make it better. I love it, I embrace the fact that I can have these messy hair asanas once in a while, I embrace the fact that the main reason that is stopping me (be it my son, my work, whatever) will pay out for the misses yoga time because I handle my life with love.

No regrets, this is very hard to learn on many days but in the end we need all of this to grow and to learn.

When you start to love yourself and to practice love you will see a major shift, just for yourself and after a while from the outside.

What’s more important than love and be loved? Nothing!

Who can relate to messy hair yoga and the try to be a better person day by day?

Show me your asanas 😉

My favorite these days is the child’s pose – pampering myself and get grounded on wooden floor. You are your Yoga! That’s the most important.

Child's pose

Take care and Namaste my dear followers.

And before you leave, one small wisdom from my side:

likes the scratches (1)

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Mommy time is night time…

Mommy time is night time…

…or better said the time when everyone is asleep besides herself.

When to relax and finally have just a little “Me” time?

When nobody wants something from me. When no child is tired or cranky or needs mommy. When my husband is completely busy like now on the phone with his Libyan guys or if he sleeps next to our son.

Time for me and instead of actually DOING something I’m laying next to a snoring toddler in a half dark bedroom and I type. I type my thoughts out of my brain and onto this blog (which started as a combined yoga/relationship/life wisdom blog and feels now like a one in a million mom blog).

I have so many things I would long to do but right here right now I’m too lazy to go back to the living room even if I know there’s some nicely prepared fruit on the table and that means what?

I am exhausted and tired.

Moms are sometimes exhausted and tired and yes, that’s ok!

Even more, it has to be like that!

I mean, seriously, let a man do what we accomplish day in and day out and hear what he will say.

I don’t doubt that there are some men out there who are able to handle our job perfectly, absolutely! But the focus lays on ‘some’. The majority will break down latest on the morning of day two (if not already after a messy day one).

Did I just mention my husband?

He came in and told me that he ate ALL the fruit while being on the phone and now he cuts a nectarine for me and I eat it in bed 😊

We need to be pampered once in a while!

People water plants day by day but they forget their spouses.

If your wife is having a warm dinner ready for you EACH evening, show her that you appreciate it – we need these things like plants need water!

I want to do some yoga since weeks and what am I doing instead?

Laying in bed eating nectarines. And should I tell you something? That’s OK! My muscles are sore anyway because I went the past two days with the bicycle to the kindergarten and as always last minute, so I simply deserve this moment now because I do enough!

I run through my life, from kindergarten to work, from work to kindergarten, from kindergarten to household to cooking to grocery shopping to playtime in between all of this and to being a wife in the evening when our son sleeps.

Isn’t that schizophrenia?

I understand each and every single mom out there who is about to shout a loud Stop once in a while.

We are no machines and we need time to be just ourself.

At least a few minutes. Please.

I go ahead and eat my nectarines now and just take this moment as a “that’s exactly what I need right now ” moment!

No regrets!

Take care of yourself my dear moms – you all are doing a fantastic job!

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Let’s make memories…

Let’s make memories…

Let's Make (1)

Here’s to a well deserved vacation for the three of us – mom, dad and toddler – yeah!

Better last minute than not at all!

We booked very very last-minute but who said that you cannot be spontaneous with a child?

Sure you can!

Crete – a sunny summer destination

So our next trip will bring us to the island of Crete. Any tips are welcome, we are ready to explore.

I’ve been to Greece before but Crete is completely new to me. My husband hasn’t been there as well but maybe by coincidence we found out that the southern part of Greece is facing the Libyan sea 🙂

In general my Libyan husband seems not to be too wrong on that island, the climate is close to what he knows very well from Libya. Which brings me to myself, puuuh, I may discover the Cretan nights if the sun is too hot during daytime. As our son is a little night owl this would work out as well.

Anyway, whatever the weather will be, it will be an experience!

Spontaneous trips or planned schedules – an in-between

I’m not planning, just checking a bit before we leave. That’s the German part of our family, I want to know at least a bit before I travel to a new place. But in the end, all we need is a place to stay (we booked that), food (I’m sure there is plenty of wonderful Greek food available) and us!

Everything else will be discovered while strolling around. Our son is the professional here as he sees many things we would not realize without him. Ants, puddles (even the tiniest), insects in general, holes where he can stick his fingers in, ice cream cones (the new favorite) and many more interesting things. The word boredom is not in his vocabulary yet. Means I’m sure we won’t be bored.

Just now when I’m almost ready to leave my job for three weeks I find the time to write a short update here.

It’s a shame! Why do we always push the things we love aside instead of  giving us space for them?

A bit “Me”-time

One of my small goals for this vacation is to free myself from nonsense and focus on the things I love and which inspire me. Re-discover the happiness!

If you miss something but cannot find the time for it, breaking through these vicious circles isn’t always easy.

I miss my Yoga, really, as if I’m missing a good old friend! And this is not because I forget about it but because I’m often too busy in the mornings, too occupied during the day by my job and then my child (which is his right!) and too tired in the evenings. Finding time is often not easy but it’s not impossible! We can adjust, plan, move, what is holding us back?

Let’s make some changes.

Change is needed – I will try to take a few minutes each day just for myself. Yoga and a time-out (and when I find some more time I promise I will write!).

Focusing on new things is ahead, if not during a vacation, when then?

Until then I say goodbye to get ready for our first flight as family and for a serene and relaxing vacation on Crete.

Cheers

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The Importance of Self-care…

The Importance of Self-care…

The Importance of Self-care...

I believe almost everyone can relate to this and many are saying now: I know but I have no time!

Exactly this “I have no time” is the crucial starting point!

Why do we all have no time?

I’m a mom and I can easily put my child in front of me and have the answer, plus being a full-time employee, so any more questions?

The thing is, it won’t help. It won’t help myself nor my job when I find excuses. I need to approach it differently and find time.

Time for myself, time for my sanity, time for self-care!

Now one of the questions will be, but what is self-care?

Everything that feels good and is lasting!

A glass of red wine in the evening may feel good for some but will it leave a good feeling? I don’t think so (which doesn’t mean that you should not drink it, it’s just not the solution to anything).

What is lasting (for me) for instance is reading a book – it’s giving me a good feeling in several ways. I do something just for myself, I read something which has an effect, it’s maybe funny or thoughtful or even life changing, books can have many effects. I will remember how I felt when I was reading a particular book simply because I built memories. It’s lasting.

Another example is sports (whatever you like), in this case for me Yoga. I roll out my mat, I’m standing bare-feet and grounded and I’m breathing before I start to move. Now you ask why this is lasting? Because my body is gaining strength, flexibility, my muscles ‘remember’ it, my brain is focusing only on one single item and has not “hundreds of tabs open” like a browser. This is sustainability for my body and health and even mental health. It’s lasting.

What else is self-care in general?

The word itself is the explanation. To care for one self!

Many tend to care for others and would give everything to make them happy which is a wonderful thing but it’s also dangerous. Dangerous because if they forget about themselves while focusing on all people around them they may lose themselves along the way.

Surely I care for my family, for my friends, for strangers even from time to time but to have the ability to care for others I need to be cared for and who can do this better than me?

I know myself better than anyone else would be able to so there is the point to start.

What do I need to feel happy, to be healthy, to de-stress, to CARE about me?

There are thousands of examples to be found on the internet which is a wonderful inspiration – important is that out of these you find what suits you best.

Not everybody likes to go in a downward facing dog or do a head stand and feels great afterwards.

YOUR way is the way you should find. It may be that you need an hour per day where you just sit on the front porch doing nothing – any this doing nothing for you means everything (so it’s not nothing!). It’s lasting because this doing nothing contains so much we don’t see as an outsider – it calms your body and mind, your whole system slows down and get’s rest which serves your health after a busy day, you have time to breathe deeply and just be with yourself. So this is exactly what you need? Great, go ahead and “do” this nothing!

Each morning you start your day with 15 minutes just for yourself – that’s self-care!

You need your daily soap for half an hour because there your thoughts are quiet and you just watch TV – that’s self-care!

You dance like crazy to your favorite songs for a while – that’s self-care!

You shower each evening before you go to sleep – that’s self-care!

You buy a chocolate and eat it all alone – that’s self-care! 🙂

You write a diary and this is your daily habit before dinner – that’s self-care!

You walk each weekend an hour alone through nature – that’s self-care!

You sit 10 minutes per day and meditate – that’s self-care!

Self-care has thousands of faces and that’s good.

There’s no ultimate guide, the rule is that you start to be mindful about yourself!

Learn what you need, learn who you are, treat yourself minimum as good as you would treat others.

What do you like most to care about yourself? I’d love to hear your stories <3

Take (self-) care!

 

 

 

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Love you more

Love you more

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Love you more – especially on rainy days ☔️

People tend to be in a bad mood when the rain sets in comfortably as if it wants to stay for the rest of our life, but we all know it won’t!

There will be sunshine sooner or later.

Embrace the rainy days, feel the bad mood and then move on.

Start to love these rainy days, they slow things down.

The rain gives us a cozy feeling inside and if we are outside feel the sensation of these rain drops on your skin.

They won’t hurt, they make us feel alive and they are needed – after a summer rain everything starts to awake and bloom even brighter than before.

And now you, after bad mood days you will shine brighter than before, you feel emotions and that means you are alive and here and present.

Love you more and love all sides of yourself more.

You are not only sunshine but rain as well and that’s wonderful ❤️

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The Magic of being a Mother

The Magic of being a Mother

The Magic of being a Mother (1)

Yesterday was mother’s day, the day where mothers are cherished a bit more than normal.

Shouldn’t we be celebrated daily? I mean, honestly, aren’t we doing extraordinary jobs day in and day out?

Yes, we do and we know deep down in our heart. And you know what? All the people around us know this as well, they just don’t tell us daily.

There’s lots of sparkle and magic around us, we are just often too blind to see it. If we could once see ourselves through the eyes of our children we would know.

If I feel exhausted, tired and crappy I doubt that I would smile to my own face in the mirror BUT my son is looking at me and smiles, he’s kissing me and hugs me in the morning with a look on his face as if there’s nothing better than having morning snuggles in bed with me.

He doesn’t care if my hair isn’t sorted or if I have an imprint of the pillow on my cheek – he sees his mom, his shelter, his world, his universe – he see’s me with a childish purity and this purity is what we lost along the way while growing up.

For him I sparkle even on my worst days. For him I am surrounded by magic day in and day out (he is Crafted by Magic). I can blow away the pain if he got hurt, I can give hugs which save him from bad dreams, I can do so many things he sees as magic and I want to keep him in his little bubble of pure happiness for as long as I can.

We went out of the city yesterday and while being at a lake it started to rain heavily but instead of leaving we ate crepes and watched the rain.

We are the ones who show how life is, if I run and hide each time I see a raindrop my child will do it too. Why don’t we follow our children once in a while and jump into puddles simply because it is so much fun?

There was a thunderstorm in the evening when we were back home and we stood in the darkness on the window and were waiting excited for the lightning, counting the seconds until the thunder was following. These are the magic moments of motherhood, stillness, awe, magic, thunder and lightning, life in its purest form, scared hugs to realize after a while that mom isn’t scared so I can let go as well and enjoy the sound of the rolling thunder.

You see – my mother’s day wasn’t all sunny and pink and flower-ish BUT it doesn’t have to be to be a wonderful day. What makes my mother’s day perfect and any other day as well is the wonderful child I am allowed to raise and my husband who shows me maybe not daily how wonderful I am but who sees with his heart and that’s the magic we all need in our life!

Happy Mother's Day

This heart

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Back to the New Normal of Parenthood

Back to the New Normal of Parenthood

Back to the New Normal of Parenthood

Another mom post – mmmh – yes and no, I would call it HUMAN but mum influenced.

When you are only responsible for yourself these things like “am I a role model” or “what do others think” seem not to be important at all. OK, for some the second point is their life but let’s go away from those 🙂

What I mean is, I lived my life before I was a mom just the way I wanted to – I never thought of being a good example – I did what I wanted and what I deemed for myself to be correct and that’s it.

Now I see it slightly different because I have to be a good example, especially at the moment with a little parrot toddler.

My child is showing me where I can improve to be a better person on the one hand and on the other I realize that there are many things which I don’t want him to learn as being normal in this world.

It’s funny how wonderful my own childhood is now in my memory. It was wonderful but people tend to remember things brighter as they were. Surely not everything was better and I don’t want to sound like an old grumpy lady stating everything was better in the past because that’s not true but there were VALUES and I start to miss many of them nowadays.

I see children with no respect, running into adults without saying sorry, taking toys for granted and many seem to have no behavior anymore.

I don’t want my son to be that kind of child. He learns that respecting others is important because he wants to be respected as well. He learns that everyone makes mistakes and saying sorry is not a sign of weakness, saying thanks and please is something we live, he learns it as being normal and that’s how I learned it as well when I was a child.

We don’t bury him under the newest toys and gadgets for toddlers because it’s simply not needed. Children are so wonderfully innocent and find always something to play with, I don’t want to take away his curiosity and fantasy because that’s what is so precious in growing up. A simple carton box can be his toy for several days and only he knows what he is playing but if you watch him he’s the happiest little boy on earth.

The new normal is the headline, maybe you realize already what I mean.

I’ve seen a little girl recently which wanted to look like Elsa and I have no idea who Elsa is and had to google it. She’s influenced at the age of not even two by an artificial figure and wants long blond hair and princess dresses “to be also so beautiful”.

A little boy (around 4 to 5 years) is telling his mom in the supermarket that he wants to go home because he is too stressed and wants to relax.

These are only two examples from many many others I could give.

Where is the carefree childhood? Why do girls think they need to look like someone else to be beautiful, why does a boy at the age of four even know the word stressed?

It’s us!

We are the ones who have to give them the carefree childhood they deserve, it’s us who have to protect them from thinking they are not beautiful because they are the most beautiful humans on earth! We need to protect them and give them all the time they need to develop and grow without knowing what the word stress even means.

They need us to assure them day by day that they are perfect the way they are, that they can trust we are there for them whatever may happen, that they are cared for and loved endlessly, this is what they need to build a strong self-confidence, not figures like Elsa or a full calendar at the age of four.

I want to be like daddy, I want to be like mommy – aren’t these the sentences which proof that we are doing our job?

I sit down on the floor and I build castles out of sand, we snuggle and giggle and hide under blankets, we run in a goofy way through the house and can’t stop laughing – these are the memories I want my son to share with his children one day, not that he loved a movie character when he was three and the Chinese teacher (which seems to be a new trend as well) was his best friend at the age of three.

Let’s start a new normal, let’s be the old-fashioned parents who don’t start to park their children in front of the TV, who don’t support this big movie toy/gadget market out there, who choose to be retro if you want to call it like that in a modern way. We don’t have drive cars without seats for our children because we know better than the generation of our parents how dangerous it can be, but we still don’t need the iPad adapter for the back seats because we can sing all children’s songs loud in the car.

I love to go back to the old style with the knowledge from today!

Greetings from the new normal mom <3

 

 

 

 

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Oh how I love spring

Oh how I love spring

Oh how I love Spring

I think I mentioned it already but I can’t say it often enough – spring time is awesome.

The earth awakes fully and so do we.

I feel lighter, the thick winter coats and wool jackets are gone and the first rays of sunshine can touch the skin again.

The air smells wonderful, grass, flowers, there’s a unique freshness in spring which lights up my mood in a way only spring can.

Even if I love winter on some days, this time of the year is for me the most wonderful. It’s giving a preview of what will come in summer. The first rain when it was warm outside is so different to the winter rain – it’s not cold, it’s not grey, it’s simply refreshing.

Souls awake as well – while we hide in winter most of the time, we can now go outside and fully bloom. Reading a book on a winter’s day, light from candles and a steaming tea in my hand is great but sitting on a blanket in the grass under a tree, listening to the birds and bees and the river nearby while reading is a different kind of great.

The cafés are having their chairs and benches outside and nobody needs to step inside small rooms to warm up and drink a hot coffee, sitting outside, watching people walk by, listening to the sound of an awakening city, children running after birds, this is what we love so much!

Love beyond words

My son turns two next week and this spring is the third spring we have together, the first spring he was born and we carried him lots. I was sitting in coffees having him in a baby wrap snuggled up listening to my heartbeat, the sound of his first spring was a mixture of new sounds and the reassuring heartbeat he knew so well.

The second spring was the time when he made his first steps. He started shortly before his first birthday and was improving so fast that he was running already in early summer. So last spring he walked along walls, pulled himself up wherever he could and crawled so fast as if he could catch a bird he has seen. He was interested in our cups and tried ice cream for the first time.

Rami Spring2017

There are so many memories attached to spring that I wonder what we will say next year about the spring 2018.

The first time I realize that I already experienced 40 times spring but only the last two are filled with memories I will never forget.

There were many wonderful springs but I cannot say what exactly happened in a certain year until I became a mother.

Priorities shift and the focus is on the smallest details we are overseeing normally in a blink of an eye. Motherhood shows me what I already knew but what wasn’t present all the time – cherish the small lovely moments and details, put your focus on the good and enjoy this life!

Take care and enjoy this wonderful time to the fullest!

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Lao Tzu once said…

Lao Tzu once said…

My son is my life

so many things that I barely know where to start but one thing stayed in my mind, especially now that I am a mom of an almost two-year old who starts to check where his limits are.

A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.

The more you try as a mom to insist the more your child will try to break through. If I sit down with my son and talk with him and try to explain him the world the more he will lose interest and start doing something else.

If I gently guide him towards an experience he can make himself the more he understands and also accepts.

We are all busy and stressed, there are thousands of things during a normal day we have to do but I actively try more and more to put a stop in, for my son and for my own sanity.

I never decided to become a mother to be a leader and have someone who should obey me. I decided to become a mother because giving life is the biggest miracle, because this amount of pure love is something you can not describe. My son is my life and he should not be the victim of my life choices!

Is there something more pure than a child at the beginning of life?

This treasure of innocence is something I don’t want to lose or better written I don’t want to take it away from him (life will do that anyway one day).

His curiosity is something to “work” with. Children are hungry to explore, they understand so much and we should stay in the background as their guardians to protect them on their journey.

So to better understand what I mean, here’s one of a million examples.

My son starts to take the stairs and yes, it takes a lot of time in the beginning! When I need to be fast because we are late the easiest is to pick him up but this causes frustration on his side and to be honest, on my side as well when I see him frustrated. I’m a human being and it won’t always be possible but if he generally is allowed to walk by himself (and I mean by himself without holding my hand) he realizes quite fast that it’s not yet easy for him. He gives his best and is reaching out to me after a couple of stairs he took alone.  He’s the proudest little man when he manages it on his own and it’s his choice to go up and be carried the rest. We both are happy.

There are so many things where we should trust our children – they grow and learn and build their personalities with their own pace and our job is to be there along the way, BE THERE, not chase them, not force them, not expect them to do something because others can do it already, TRUST! Be there and trust your child!

As I’m the mom and by law his legal guardian many consider me to be his authority and yes, I have the responsibility for my son. So if I am the authority in his life then I want to be the gentle one – the one he barely feels, who is meeting him on eye level.

True authority lies in gentleness – this is how we should see it.

My son should one day look back at his childhood and feel a ton of love present along the way, a lot of precious memories, a lot of having fun together, a lot of warmth and lovely shivers when he thinks back to the time we spent together.

We all are human beings which means we all make mistakes, as long as we never lose sight of the big picture, the way we walk side by side, we all are fine.

Sending lots of love <3